Leaf on the Wind

author: River2027

Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or Serenity

setting: during Serenity

genre: drama/angst

rating: T to be safe

warning: contains spoilers for "Serenity"

summary: Set during the funeral. What did River write in her note?


"I am a leaf on the wind," Wash whispered, face highlighted in the red glow from the backup power. "Watch how I--."

His sentence ended abruptly when a huge pike from the Reaver ship smashed through Serenity's cockpit and impaled him to his chair.

Zoë barely had time to register the shock. She rushed to her husband's side as his head slumped down. "Wash!" she cried. "Baby, come on. Get up, Wash, Baby we have to go, please," she pleaded. She was vaguely aware that the captain spoke her name softly, but she refused to give up.

Wash couldn't be dead. He couldn't.

"Wash!" she begged, running a hand through his hair, knowing deep down it was already too late. He'd been killed instantly.

"Zoë!" Mal shouted, tackling her to the ground before another spear launched from the Reaver ship shot through the cockpit, piercing the wall right where she'd been standing.

There was still a battle going on.

They had to move forward.

--

Mal and Jayne started to move the crates to create a cover. Everyone started to move into action except Kaylee, who stopped, puzzled.

"Wait!" she protested, suddenly realizing they were a man down. "Wash!" Kaylee was confused, but River already knew what had happened. She had felt Wash's death, seen in her mind's eye the pike that pierced his body. Reavers. All made up of Reavers…

"Where's Wash?" Kaylee repeated. Zoë never looked up from loading her weapon.

River whispered the words as Zoë spoke them in a low tone, "He ain't coming."

She watched everyone's reactions. Kaylee's face dropped, expressing horror and pain. Simon and Mal had both looked away. She felt a spike in Jayne, and he instantly ordered them to continue moving the crates. That's what he did, River thought. Work to hide the pain. Keep busy.

Keep moving.

Zoë continued loading her weapon.

--

River watched Zoë as she approached her husband's memorial, staring at the little video of Wash that was in a continuous loop. Zoë taped her note to the rocket set to launch in Wash's honor.

River scanned the remainder of Serenity's crew. Simon stood off to the side, holding Kaylee's hand tightly. The normally cheerful mechanic was sniffling, trying to hold back tears that threatened to fall. The captain had his lips pressed tightly together, trying to remain strong for his crew. Even Jayne seemed to be fighting back his emotions.

Zoë stood up and looked over at River, her gaze haunted and empty. She wasn't crying. She had put on a mask, turned into the warrior again. But River could still hear into her mind, could feel her intense pain. Life will never be the same without Wash. River wanted to help her. Wash wouldn't want this.

"Wash is home now," she spoke up. "Home to the skies. Can't take the sky away. He's free." she paused, looking right at Zoë. "Wouldn't want you grieving for him. Wants you to be strong. Stay strong. Keep flying."

She looked briefly at her brother, who gave her a sad smile of encouragement. River turned back to Zoë.

"Wash has his own Serenity now," she said softly.

She felt the captain's hand on her shoulder. "That's a mighty fine thought there, albatross," Mal said with a sad smile. Trying to put on a façade. River felt it. He was hurting deeply. They all were.

Nothing could bring Wash back.

No power in the 'verse.

They all just had to learn to live without him. With only his memory. River glanced down at the note she had written to Wash. It was something he had said before he died. Something she'd heard in his mind, amidst the panic and disorder…amidst the jumbled thoughts of Serenity's crew as the Reavers and the Alliance bore down on them.

He had been at peace then, surrendered to the ship. Letting Serenity guide him.

He'd made the landing.

He'd just never left the ship. He'd been with Serenity at the end.

River stepped forward and taped her note on the side of the rocket, pausing to read it again, make sure it was adequate.

It simply read: YOU ARE A LEAF ON THE WIND.

She stepped back, allowing Zoë to come forward and solemnly light the rocket, shooting it up into the sky.

River smiled as she watched it disappear into the clouds. She looked back down, directly at Zoë, who now had tears in her eyes. River smiled at her and cast her eyes back into the sky.

"Now he can soar…" she whispered.

finis