Disclaimer: See below. The song isn't mine either.
Murtogg: These
characters are under copyright by Walt Disney.
Authoress:
I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see him, I shall inform
you immediately.
Jack: Apparently there's some sort of a
high toned and fancy sequel being filmed, eh? How could it be that
two supporting characters such as yourselves did not merit an
invitation?
Murtogg: Someone has to make sure PotC
characters stay off limits to fangirls.
Jack: It's a fine
goal to be sure but it seems to me that a… a fangirl like this
makes no money anyway, really.
Murtogg: Ah, this song looks
quite harmless, true enough, but there's no fan that can match the
mouse for greed.
Mullroy: Oh, and no fangirl that's not
possessed by the damned and inspired by a plotbunny so evil that hell
itself spat it back out could possibly have a desire to take on the
mouse, therefore couldn't be writing fanfiction.
Murtogg:No.
Mullroy: Like I said… there's no sane girl that
would write this.
Murtogg: Hey! You! Get away from
there.
Mullroy: You don't have permission to write,
Miss.
Authoress: I'm sorry, it's just ... it's such a
pretty plot – film.
Mullroy: What's the purpose of this
song here, my good girl?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no
lies.
Authoress: Well, then, I confess. It is my intention
to commandeer the characters, pick up plotbunnies in Tortuga, write,
scribble, blunder, and otherwise let my weasely black fantasies
out.
Slap him well!
Once my boat
he stole
in the dead of night
now I've caught this fowl
by
his trinkets bright.
Bells he'll soon hear ring
I'll hit him
left and right
watch his head-adornments spin
and celebrate
tonight
Slap him well, slap him well
strike him on the
quay.
Captain's head rocks to the side,
dreadlocks spin
away.
Slap him well, slap him well
strike him on the
quay.
Captain's head rocks to the side
dreadlocks spin away
He
will apologize
and he'll make amends
or I'll treat his face
all
day with my hands.
Should also like to spank
till his bum is
hot
red like father christmas' coat
can't lie down in his
cot
Slap him well, hard like hell,
jingling, trinkets
fly
oh what fun it is to slap
left, right, either way
slap
him well, hard like hell
jingling, trinkets fly
oh what fun it
is to slap
left, right, either way