A/N: you know how sometimes you just feel blue even though nothing bad's happening and you just feel like you have to emote and listen to heartbreaking songs and watch tragic anime? So there I was listening to CNBlue's Teardrops in the Rain and just finished watching Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso and I just remembered Hide and Kaneki and my lovely, broken kokoro cried for it so here: a short one-shot for this kokorobreaking otp inspired by aforementioned song by CNBlue. Forgive the misspellings and grammatical errors you may encounter along the way. Remember to leave a review! :)
The man clad in white walks fast, not caring about the rain hammering down or the stares he gets from passerby. The sky is black, in stark contrast to the man's pale appearance. The rain falls down his cheeks and mingling with it, though nobody sees, the tears he sheds for the shattered past he both longed for and wished he would never remember.
He doesn't believe in wishing upon shooting stars, finds it rather absurd because stars can't grant wishes, but right now he finds himself grasping for anything, may it be shooting stars that can't really grant wishes or tossing pennies to a wishing well. He just wants time to move backward, to bring that person back to him. To have everything back.
But time doesn't go backward-it goes forward, and it takes his everything just to be able to live in the present, to not let his mind wander to happier times when ghouls were nothing but fairytales they talk about just to pass the time. It takes his everything to stay up all night because he's afraid to see him in his dreams, of the tears in his eyes whenever he wakes up, and that feeling of wanting that person to be by his side when he knows it's impossible.
In truth, he has no idea how to move on, or if such a thing is even possible for him. His heart continues to beat, which is unfair, he thinks, when his stopped that day. The rain stops, the black clouds part, and a feeble ray of light shines through, enough to warm everything up, except for the man clad in white with black-rooted white hair.
His feet push him forward until he reaches his destination. The sea of gravestones greet him and he feels his heart getting heavier with every step. He slows down until he finally comes to a stop and he stands right in front of one grave. The hands on both his sides tremble and he closes them into fists in hopes that the trembling would stop.
"Nagachika Hideyoshi"
Hide. The name he asked him to be called by, the name he's called him ever since they were kids. His auburn hair and gray eyes flash before his eyes. He remembers the way Hide smiles, and how he can pick up what's wrong with him before he even says a word.
His knees give in and the tears start pouring again. His fists continuously pound the hard ground as he calls the name of his best friend, the name of the person he's loved ever since they were kids. The unsaid "I'm sorry"'s and "Thank you"'s and the whispered "I love you"'s gush out of his mouth, all the regret from that day tugging at his heart, causing another bout of tears.
He will never be able to move on, not really, but he needs to be strong, to fight to survive, because he owes that to Hide. Haise Sasaki, no, Kaneki Ken, promises to the smooth granite in front of him that he won't let others see his tears again, not even to Hide. After all, he can use the rain to mask his pain, to mask his tears. And in the days he'd feel the loneliness left by Hide, he can always shed teardrops in the rain.
A/N: now I'm getting embarrassed. I want to let out the HideKaneki feels inside me and this is what I do? *facepalms* You can write "olympicmayhem you are so pathetic" on your comment. I won't mind because I already know that. Just remember to LEAVE A COMMENT! I believe it's below this favorite author and story boxes thingy. Thanks for wasting your time on this!
-olympicmayhem
P.S. Isn't Koro-sensei just asdfghjkl he's so amazing lol