So, yeah, I'm working on my other ficcy 'As the World Burns' and this pops into my head. I start cracking up, and am like -- OMG, I HAVE TO WRITE THIS!!

I luuuuuurve it, it makes me giggle, and I hope that you all like it too! And if you haven't yet, read my other fic and the scenario might make a teesy bit more sense.

And if you like it, REVIEW, and I will give you more humorous excerps from 'As the World Burns'. I'm not going to give them to you if you don't review!!

MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Anyways, back to the story. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Period. Except Emily and my twisted ideas and humor. Period. Period. Period. Okay?

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"Uh, Emily, I think you might want to sit down."

I turned around to see Sarah, her hands folded delicately on the dining table, her face grim. Jareth was seated next to her, lounging like royalty. He had one arm around the back of Sarah's chair and in the other hand a crystal, which he played around with, seemingly bored and disinterested. 'Well, of course he is,' my inner voice said to me. 'He has Sarah with him right now, so that makes him content, right?'

I refrained from rolling my eyes. I had never liked Jareth much – he drank all of my coffee and ate all of my goodies. Plus, he had those creepy eyes, and was borderline obsessive over my roommate. His hair was pretty cool, though, I had to give him that.

I sat. "Is something wrong?"

Sarah bit her lip and a smug smile crossed Jareth's face. I narrowed my eyes slightly, suspicious. "Well, last night, you remember our little… spat?"

I nodded. Sarah and I had argued the night before about food and budget. I had mostly been annoyed that I provided all the food in the refrigerator and it was not just eaten by me. Sarah had thought it more than fair, seeing as she always picked up the tab whenever we went out. I had awoken this morning fine about it – I was not one to hold grudges. Sarah took that role on quite well, so I was surprised that she was even talking to me this morning. Something had to be wrong.

"I kinda was really mad, you know, like I always am when we argue…" She started sheepishly. "And I sort of started to complain and vent to Jareth. I got a little carried away, and… I kind of sarcastically wished you away to the Labyrinth."

My jaw dropped.

"Wait, wait, before you get upset! I know, that was totally stupid, but since I know a certain Goblin King…" She shot a sideways look at Jareth. "I negotiated. And well, in exchange for me not having to run the Labyrinth and your well-being as a human…" She hesitated. "I had to surrender your brownies." Sarah hung her head, ashamed.

I groaned. "Not the ones I spent four hours on yesterday!"

Jareth chuckled and Sarah smacked his chest with a limp hand. "I'm so sorry, Emily!" She looked sincerely appalled at her actions, so I couldn't be too mad.

I sighed and crossed my arms, leaning back into the chair. "Fine… take them. Take my beloved hard work."

"You know, I would be a little happier." Jareth said in his cool, commanding tone. "I could have demanded Sarah as payment, or I could have collected another goblin to my realm." He looked me up and down, appearing to be unimpressed. "I would be immensely pleased, if I were you, Emily."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I think you just like to mess with me and… you know, brown things."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Brown things?"

"Yeah. Coffee… brownies… your hair…" I grimaced. "Brown things."

Jareth immediately stopped playing with Sarah's hair. "I do not." He protested, making a face that looked like a pout, but of course, he was too kingly for that.

"Wait…" Sarah turned to him suspiciously. "What is your favorite color?"

"It's not brown. Though I am partial to it on you…" He grinned, giving her a suggestive look. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Well, what is it?"

"Purple. The color of royalty!" Jareth smirked haughtily as he stated this.

Sarah abruptly slumped, letting her head bonk against the table as she emitted a load groan. "Why do all the men in my life like purple, for goodness sakes?! It's not a manly color!"

"Hey…" A new voice, gruff and low, said from the window. I turned to see the Batman in our apartment. I gasped. What the heck was Batman doing here?! "I like black."

"Black is close to purple!" Sarah sounded near hysterics. I was tempted to back out of the room slowly, wondering why I was in a room full of crazy people.

"No it isn't! And it's manly."

Jareth glared at Batman and randomly threw his crystal at the caper crusader. Batman tried to dodge it, but the crystal followed him and suddenly… he was gone, just as quickly as he had arrived.

"You do know Bats are nocturnal, right?" Jareth rolled his eyes, settling possessively around Sarah again. She sat up suddenly, staring accusingly at the King.

"What did you do to him? Did you hurt him? You jerk!"

"I did no such thing, precious! I am insulted." He frowned and tried to pull her up into him, but she refused to let him touch her. I had a feeling that they had kind of forgotten that I was there.

"Well, what did you do?"

"I merely sent him to a cave, where he belongs."

"Where? Which cave?"

Jareth gave her an innocent look, conjuring up another crystal. "Just a cave, dearest."

"WHERE?" Sarah bellowed, her eyes narrowed into slits. "Tell me!"

Jareth shrugged. "New Mexico. I heard it's quite nice there this time of year…"

Sarah gave him a don't-you-mess-with-me look. "New… Mexico? Jareth, that's so not cool! Stop teleporting people places! Bring him back, right now!"

"He'll be fine. He's got a plane."

"That's beside the point!"

I silently stood and edged out of the room, back into my own. Jeez, why did I put up with this crap?

"Hello beautiful."

I sighed dramatically and gestured behind me. "Sarah's in there."

"Thanks." The Joker gave me a thumbs-up and waltzed right past me, humming to the Darth Vader theme song.

Sometimes, I am so glad that I'm not Sarah.