Ranma 1/2
"A Christmas Carol"
by Jim Robert Bader
(Rumiko Takashi's creations to the backdrop of a certain famous poem...)
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a...
"COME BACK HERE YOU OLD FOOL!"
"SWEETO!"
Well, except for him.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care...
"Um...Mister Narrator, Sir? We don't have a chimney."
Okay, okay! They were laid out by the table over the kotetsu central floor heating element, all right?
"Yes, that's much better."
"Hey! Who's using my pantyhose?"
"HOWZA!"
"Any other dumb questions?"
AHEM!
As I was saying...it was a quiet evening in the house of Tendo and everyone was in bed...
CRASH-BAM! TINKLE!
"Ranma, you idiot! Get out of my bedroom!"
"Bwee!"
I SAID-EVERYONE WAS IN BED, YOU GOT THAT!"
"Ulp, yessir!"
Now then...the children were all nestled and snug in their beds with thoughts of balance sheets dancing through their-HEY, WAIT A SECOND! BALANCE SHEETS?"
"Oh Daddy, of course I'll remember to take five percent off your debt, and let's forget about any unpleasant things that you may or may not have heard about me over the last year. Forget my past and just remember my presents..."
"TENDO NABIKI..."
"Huh? Who's that waking me up?"
"I am the ghost of Christmas past..."
"Oh no...not you guys again...?"
Momma in her gown and I in my cap had just settled down for a warm winter's nap...
"Genma, please turn over, and if you don't stop turning into a panda whenever I ask you to perform your husbandly duties..."
"But dear, I'm exhausted..."
"No excuses! Do you have any idea what it's like waking up with a mouthful of fur in the morning? And then there are the times when you roll over in your sleep...I mean, I'm as dutiful as the next wife, but there are limits..."
When all of a sudden there came such a clatter...
"SWEETO!"
TRIP-FALL DOWN-CRASH-MUTTER!
"Ow! Who put that closet in my way?"
"Out, out, out, and stay out!"
"Huh? Nabiki? Don't tell me those guys are hassling you again?"
"Every year like clockwork! You'd think they'd get the hint by now and give it a rest..."
Ahem...I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh And Eight tiny raindeer...
"Huh? HEY-WAIT A MINU-!"
CRASSHHHH!
"Oh my...is that a sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer?"
"They don't look so tiny to me, Sis."
"Hey, what the heck are they doing in our house?"
"Groan...what hit me?"
"Offhand I'd say a couple tons of large-as-life venison, Ranma-kun."
"HOHOHOHOHOHO! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!"
"Hah? Kodachi Kuno? But what happened to...?"
"He couldn't make it, but never mind the trifling details, Ranma-sama, the point is that I'm here to grant all of your wishes, so take me in your arms, you crazy fool!"
"Hey, put some clothes on first, willya?"
GLOMP!
"RANMA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"HmmmMmmmMMmmmMmmmMmmmphh!"
"What?"
"I think Ranma-kun just said something about trying his best...Oh my...is that proper?"
"Hey, they're under the mistletoe, right?"
"NABIKI-That isn't the point! This isn't an Ecchi Lemon, you know! It's supposed to be about the holiday spirit, joy and good feeling..."
"Well, looks like a lot of joyful feelings to me..."
"HEEELLLPP!"
CRASH!
"Aiyaa! Shampoo just in nick of time to save Airen from naked crazy sleigh-
driving pervert girl!"
"Hey, you hussy! Get away from my Ranchan!"
"Wow, you guys didn't waste any time showing up..."
(MAYHEM PROCEEDS WITH RANMA IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL)
"HEEEELLLPPP!"
I give up...
Happy Holidays! ^_-
From: shadowmane
To one and all, a good Xmas!
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