Guilt
Percy was sitting at the beach staring at the ocean. Usually this act would calm him but today even the swirling waves were not enough to soothe the rage that filled him. After a while his beautiful girlfriend Annabeth Chase found him staring at the water and sat down next to him. They sat in silence for a little while until Annabeth broke the silence, "You wanna tell me what's wrong Percy?" She said softly her voiced laced with worry and her eyes shining with concern. His scowl lessened as he looked at her and his face was broken. She looked at him and saw that his eyes were glistening from unshed tears, his mouth set towards the ground. She reached up and touched his cheek and he gently pulled away. She was hurt but didn't show it. Finally he spoke, "It's all my fault," his voice devoid of all emotions.
"What are you talking about Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth spoke grabbing his chin so she could look him in the eyes before he could turn away.
"Gabe, the war, Luke, Selina, Beckendorf, Bianca, Zoe everything it's all my fault. How many people have to die just because I was born?" Tears were filling his eyes and he quickly pulled away from the girl he loved so much.
"Percy, what are you talking about? Gabe? The war? None of that stuff was your fault." Annabeth said.
"Yes it is. My mom married Gabe to protect me from the monsters; every time he hit her I am to blame. Kronos rose because I was born and all the people who died… They were my responsibility and if I had never been born they would still be alive. So many people would be happier if I had never been born…" He replied sadly. At this point Annabeth was crying, how could he say this? Didn't he know how much she loved him? Didn't he care about her?
"How can you say that Percy? What about me? Percy I love you, you are the only person I have ever loved… If you weren't born I would only be half a person, I wouldn't be complete." She looked at him, he was still adamant about this though he shook his head.
"Even if I wasn't born you would still be happy, you could have fallen in love with a Luke that never turned evil. You would have lived in a Camp Half Blood that was never disrupted by war and so many of our friends would still be alive. The Great Prophecy came true because I was born and everything afterwards is just the domino effect. None of this would have happened had I never been born. What is it you always say Wise Girl? 'You may not have pulled the trigger but you sure as Hades loaded the gun and pointed it.' And my mom gods my mom could have been so much happier, because she never would have been hit by Gabe and had to go through all the crap and worry I have put her through. She should have just left me in the streets." He muttered the last part so softly she almost didn't hear him.
Wait what did he say? Gabe hit Sally, does that mean… She narrowed her eyes, "Percy did Gabe hit you too?" His eyes darkened.
"That's not the point." He replied tersely. She wasn't going to give up that easily though.
"Perseus Jackson did he or did he not hit you as a child." His scowl deepened and he replied to her with an icy tone. "Yes, Gabe hit me but that doesn't matter because he hit my mom and the only reason she ever married him was to protect me, to cover up my demigod scent."
"Percy you can't blame yourself for that Sally-"
"Yes I can Annabeth, I can blame myself for all of this because me being born was a mistake, and every death that happened, every slap my mom took, every tear someone close to me has shed due to the loss of a loved one is my fault. I shouldn't have been born. End of story." She could see that he was close to tears at this point.
Annabeth hastily and angrily got up. "Oh so I don't matter to you? Percy, if you were never born I wouldn't have fallen in love with you and the best thing that has ever been in my life wouldn't be here."
"You would have fallen in love with someone else, Luke maybe, and Kronos wouldn't have poisoned his mind but the point is you still would be happy." He flopped back down onto the sand, "Everyone would be so much happier if I was never born."
Annabeth needed him to know how wrong he was though so she dove onto him and smashed her lips to his in a passionate display trying to tell him everything with this one kiss. Trying to tell him that she needed him that she wouldn't be complete without him. Eventually she pulled away, "Not everyone," she whispered to him.
"Maybe not everyone," he muttered softly. He looked up at her and said, "My mom would be happier though if I was never born, her life would have been so much better. She deserves a better son than me." Annabeth frowned at this.
"Percy your mom loves you, she wouldn't give you up for anything. And you are the best son she could have asked for." She said.
Percy frowned harder at this, "Well maybe she should have given me up Wise Girl… my mom deserves more than me. She was abused by her husband so that I could stay safe from the monsters, she put up with all the crap I pulled growing up and she never got angry. I wish that she and Paul would now forget about me, so they could raise a real family, without a son who can only hurt people."
Annabeth had tears in her eyes, "Percy, Sally and Paul would never want to forget about you, you are so amazing and kind and she didn't have to go through everything she did to protect you, but she did it because she loves you." She knew why he was thinking like this it was all because of his stupidly noble fatal fall. Annabeth was so close to sobbing, she didn't like Percy thinking like this because he would be upset and whenever he felt like this she could tell he thought they should break up because he didn't think he was good enough for her. To her that was ridiculous though, she didn't deserve him, it wasn't the other way around. Besides she needed her 25 year old boyfriend now more than ever. "Percy Jackson you are so good, to me, to your mom to basically everyone that you meet you are a hero and you need to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens. You can't control it and the fates are the ones who decide things so no none of this is your fault."
"I'll try Annabeth, for you."
"Good because Percy because there is something that I need to tell you…" Percy looked at her in concern…"Percy… I'm pregnant." Annabeth whispered. Percy's jaw dropped and then he looked happy. "I'm going to be a dad? We are going to be parents?" He questioned softly. Tears where running down his eyes and he said the words that made Annabeth's heart melt, "This is greatest thing I have ever heard Annabeth, you are giving me one of my biggest dreams. Thank you, I love you so much." Annabeth was so happy she thought this would be his reaction but she was still a little scared.
"You are going to be such a good dad Seaweed Brain." She whispered. And with this last bit of their conversation Percy really forgave himself for everything he had thought was his fault. He let go of all the guilt he had been harboring because if he was going to be a dad he was going to need to let go of all of that so he could be a good father.
"Annabeth there is one thing I need to ask you though." Percy said, this was something he had been planning on doing for a long time now, but he knew that to be a good husband he needed to not feel guilty about living so once he forgave himself he knew that it was time. He stood Annabeth up and then silently went down onto one knee pulling out the engagement ring he had bought 3 years ago, with the engraving 'As Long As We're Together' on the inside. He spoke softly, "Annabeth Chase I love you more than anything in the world, will you marry me?" He sounded nervous. She smiled brightly and said, "Took you long enough Seaweed Brain, of course I'll marry you." He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her deeply.
Annabeth's next words froze Percy, "You could have asked me this three years ago when you bought that ring Percy, my answer still would have been yes." Percy's jaw dropped and Annabeth started walking over to the Poseidon cabin getting ready for what the night would bring.
