The Queen's Ransom
Typed by M.A. Darkling
Although it was an exceptionally nice day, the little Valian Adepts were as bored as hell on a good day. The fact that it WAS a good day may have affected that in some way. Dora had sent them out to play in the good weather, and since skills in Psynergy are erratic at this age, resulting in something dubbed 'Baby Wish Energy' or BWE, which in a temper tantrum can be hazardous. Now the fact that the Mayor had visitors (Master of Chi and his son, Hsu), and the Laws were still active, BWE was quite a problem.
Although Elements were clear at this point, the children couldn't do anything. So Isaac, Jenna, Felix, Garet and Garet's three year old sister Mandy sat in the grass playing 'Where's the Baby?'
"Where's the Baby?" cooed ten-year old Felix. Even though Felix supposedly should've stopped liking younger children and started treating them as an annoyance, he would always stop and play 'Where's the Baby?' with Mandy. "There she is!"
Mandy giggled. Garet, seven years of age, snorted.
"How can you stand her?" he asked. Garet looked toward his friend, the six-and-three-quarters Isaac. Isaac was leaning back in the tall grass, staring at the sky. Jenna, aged seven, was watching his face intently.
"Watch," said Jenna, not taking her eyes off of him. "He's not blinking." She wasn't either.
"This is so boring," Garet said impatiently. Jenna glared at him.
"What do you suggest?" she said hotly.
"Suggest?" Garet said quizzically. "What's that word?"
"What do you say we do," Isaac said, not taking his eyes off the sky. A fat, fluffy cloud rolled over him.
"Oh," Garet shrugged. "I don't know."
"Why don't you pretend that Jenna's a princess?" suggested Felix. Garet gave him a Look.
"Why? Jenna don't act like a princess," Garet remarked. Jenna cuffed him on the head.
"Yes, a princess who's gonna be queen soon. And an evil lord has kidnapped her," Felix continued, taking Mandy into his lap. Isaac sat up. "And a brave knight and his squire have gone to save her."
"Who's the knight?" Garet said anxiously. Felix thought.
"I guess you can be the knight, Garet," Felix said, playing with Mandy's pigtails. Mandy giggled.
"Gariet gunna beya nite?" she hiccuped. Felix smiled.
"Yes Mandy.
"Ew!" whined Jenna. "Am I gonna hafta marry him?"
"Why would you have to do that, Jenna?" Felix asked. Jenna sighed.
"Cause it's the Law," Jenna said simply. "In all of Ma'am Dora's stories the brave knight marries the princess."
"It doesn't hafta to happen that way," Isaac commented. "It's a _modern_ world now."
"Okay," Jenna said, but Garet piped up.
"But why can't the knight marry the princess?" he demanded.
"Because marriage is a big commitment, and both parties must perform their share and not leave me with the cooking, the cleaning, AND the baby! He should do his damn part!" Isaac explained, in a slight monotone. "Or at least that's what mommy says."
"Oh," said everyone, except Mandy and Felix.
"What if the princess wants marry a guy who will do his damn part?" Jenna asked Felix. He shrugged.
"I guess she can do that too," Felix amended. "Me and Mandy will be-- " CRASH!!!!!!!!!
"Ha!" said a bratty little kid. "Gotcha!"
The little brat was about seven/seven-and-a-half years old, and was dressed very well. But he wasn't an Adept. And he had gripped Jenna on the upper arm.
"Hsu!" Garet cried out. "What are you doing here?!"
"Woo?" Jenna said. "That's a funny name."
"Hsu!" said Hsu. "And you better remember it!"
Remembering that she was in trouble, Jenna started struggling. "Let me go!"
"No!" Hsu said harshly. "I want to play with you guys!"
"You can't play if you are going to be mean," said Isaac in a quiet, I-really-meant-it voice.
"Yeah!" Garet agreed.
"Grr!" Hsu stomped his foot. "I don't hafta listen to you! If I can't play, I'm gonna . . .I'm gonna take her to my secret castle!"
"Fool!" Jenna shrieked. "It's not a secret anymore if you take me!"
"Shut up!" Hsu snarled. He started running, dragging a kicking and screaming Jenna to his secret castle. "Jenna!" Felix, Garet, and Isaac cried out. Mandy made a face.
"Jwennah goe bye-bye," Mandy pouted. Felix looked down at Mandy, then at Garet and Isaac.
"Sir Garet! Squire Isaac!" Felix commanded. Garet and Isaac lined up. "I charge thee with the mission to save my little sister, Princess Jenna from the evil knight Hsu!"
"Yes, umm . . . err. . ." Garet thought hard about what Felix's title would be.
"Prince Felix! Lady Mandy! We will not fail you!" Isaac saluted. Garet nodded.
"Right," he said. "Prince Felix."
With that, they ran off to save Princess Jenna.
Sir Garet and Isaac had made it halfway to the plaza before Isaac stopped dead.
"Gar--I mean, Sir Garet, we've forgotten our swords!" so the two ran back to Isaac's house were they had left them.
Dora was making her famous ReallyGoodCookies, and had not only sent out Isaac, but Kyle as well, who liked to snitch from the dough. So she didn't hear over the rolling pin and her off-key humming as Garet and Isaac creeped up to his room where they retrieved their machetes.
Isaac tied the sheath of the machete to his back, the handle sticking over his shoulder, while Garet tied it to his waist. Striking a pose, Garet shouted "To save the Princess Jenna!"
Isaac followed suit. "To save the Princess Jenna!"
From downstairs, they heard Dora yelling, "I thought I sent you two outside!"
Both boys sweatdropped.
"Let me go you--you--meanie!" Jenna shrieked and screeched. Hsu dragged her along, looking for a suitable hiding place. "I bet you don't even have a secret castle!"
Hsu grimaced. She was right. He had never been in Vale before, and had no idea of where he was going. Then, he saw it. A small cottage sitting in a clearing away from the village. It look empty, and a little ominous.
Perfect.
Hsu pulled Jenna along, who had finally seemed to give up kicking and screaming in favor of just walking really slowly. Hsu pointed to the cottage, and manuevered Jenna so she could see.
"Look, wech," Hsu cackled. ("Wench," Jenna corrected under her breath.) "That is my secret castle!! Mwahahaha!!"
"It's not secret anymore!" Jenna protested. "I know about it!"
"You don't count," Hsu said darkly. She was right again. Jenna had a knack for it. "C'mon, _wech_." ("Wench.") ("Oh, just shut up.")
"Garet," Isaac panted. "I could've sworn he went the other way."
The two boys were trudging up the side of Mt. Aleph, panting and starting to sweat.
"No way! If I were (huff) him, this is were I'd (puff) take Jenna!" Garet argued, out of breath. "It's (huff) seclooded and stuff."
"Secluded, Garet," Isaac corrected.
"Whatever," Garet said, irritably.
Felix saw them down below.
"HEY, GARET!!!!!!!!" he bellowed. "THEY WENT THE OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Isaac stuck his tongue out. "I _told_ you so."
Garet whined.
Jenna was crudely bound to a chair, meaning that she could've just untied the jump rope herself, but was staying put for the sake of tradition. Hsu was attempting a deep, maniacal laugh, but was achieving a sort of squeak that ground against Jenna's ears.
"Would you just stop that?" she said crossly. Hsu glared at her. "You're no good at it."
"And I suppose you're better?" Hsu retorted, blushing with embarrassment.
"No duh," Jenna smirked. "Listen and learn."
Isaac's head turned in the direction of Late Esme's cottage. Late Esme's real name had been Esmeralda. When she had been young, she had been called Young Esme. When her mother and father died in a fire, she was called Poor Esme. When she built a house all own her own, she had been called Strong Esme. When she married the village tailor, she was called Bride Esme. When she had her two children, she was Ma Esme. When her children grew up, she was Old Esme. When her husband died, she was called Widow Esme. And finally, when she died, she was called Late Esme. Her last words were, "Go to hell, you damn prefixes."
"Garet," Isaac asked. "Do you hear that?"
Garet looked at Isaac quizzically. "Hear what? The sound of all those poor fools who just read that huge paragraph about some weird dead lady moaning?"
"No, not that," Isaac said. "That laugh. It's coming from Late Esme's cottage."
"Ah!" Garet clamped on to Isaac's shoulder. "Do you think it's--Late Esme?!"
"No," Isaac mused. "It's too histerical. Late Esme had an evil laugh. Not histerical."
"Yeah," Garet nodded, letting go of his friend's shoulder. "Remember how she gave Jenna lessons, just before she died?"
Isaac shuddered. Then, a light bulb appeared. "That's Jenna laughing! She must be trying to signal us using her histerical laugh!"
"To Jenna!" Garet started running to Late Esme's cottage, with Isaac close behind.
"THAT's how you laugh," Jenna said smugly, crossing her arms. She accidently loosened the jump rope, and quickly put back down her hands to maintain the illusion of being trapped. Hsu shook his head.
"I wonder how you tie this thing," he wondered out loud.
Suddenly, there was the loud screech as Garet flung the door open. He raised his machete in the air, ready to attack Hsu. Hsu drew his own training sword, a stick with a hilt, and raised it into defensive stance.
As the battle raged, Isaac snuck towards Jenna.
"Hey, Jen," Isaac whispered. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Jenna smiled. "I'm fine. Untie me and we'll get out of here."
"Uh," Isaac tugged at the jump rope. It fell down the floor as he helped Jenna up. "Why didn't you just run away?"
"Where's the drama in that?" Jenna asked him testily. Isaac sweatdropped.
"Let's just go," he said meekly. Jenna walked briskly to the door. As Isaac followed Jenna out the door, he called to Garet. "Garet! I've got the Princess! Let's go!"
"Alright," Garet said glumly. He wanted to keep fighting Hsu.
"Oh, no you don't!" Hsu yelled. He stabbed Garet in the back as he turned to follow Isaac.
"No, Garet!" Isaac yelled. Jenna gasped.
"Garet," Jenna rushed to his side as Isaac ran towards Hsu, machete ready to pierce Hsu in the heart. Hsu, gasping his final breath, fell to the wooden floor, Isaac's machete in his body. Isaac went to Garet, who's head was resting in Jenna's lap.
"Garet," Isaac whispered, tears forming in his eyes. Jenna looking up at the blond boy, sniffing already.
"Isaac . . . ." Garet croaked. "Don't cry for me. Jenna, you . . . ."
"Yes?" Jenna asked tenderly.
"You . . . you can cry, 'cause you're a girl," Garet received painful bump on the head as Jenna stood up, indignant.
"OOhhhhhhh. What a way to break the mood, you big dunderhea--" Jenna was silence by Isaac.
"Don't forget me--" Garet fell limp.
"No!!" Isaac cryed out.
"Hmph!" Jenna turned her head.
The door creaked open again.
"Jenna? Garet? Isaac? Hsu? You in there?"
"Yes, Mayor/Grandfather," they all said in unison.
"What are you doing?" he asked as Garet and Hsu stood up, taking the swords from underneath their armpits.
"Nothing," Jenna said as sweetly as she could. "We're just playing."
"Okay," the Mayor smiled. "Hsu needs to go get ready to go back to Xian now."
"Okay," Hsu sighed. "Bye everyone. It was fun playing with you."
"Yeah," said Isaac. "See ya later."
That night, the entire court (Felix, Mandy, Jenna, Isaac, and Garet) got together in the meadow to celebrate the rescue of Princess Jenna and to crown her queen.
"Now do I marry her?" Garet asked Felix.
"Ew! I don't wanna marry him!" Jenna whined. Garet stuck his tongue out. "He's _dead_!"
"Well," Felix thought. "Jenna does need a king."
"Why do I need a king?" Jenna asked Felix angrily.
"You could marry me," Isaac offered. "I'm still living."
"Oh," Jenna made a face. "I guess you could marry me. You would make a good king."
"Then it's settled," Felix said. "Long live Queen Jenna! Long live King Isaac!"
The King and Queen lived happily, going on with their lives until one day, the Queen was again kidnapped, and thus setting the King on an even bigger quest than before. Life just works that way, huh?
Although it was an exceptionally nice day, the little Valian Adepts were as bored as hell on a good day. The fact that it WAS a good day may have affected that in some way. Dora had sent them out to play in the good weather, and since skills in Psynergy are erratic at this age, resulting in something dubbed 'Baby Wish Energy' or BWE, which in a temper tantrum can be hazardous. Now the fact that the Mayor had visitors (Master of Chi and his son, Hsu), and the Laws were still active, BWE was quite a problem.
Although Elements were clear at this point, the children couldn't do anything. So Isaac, Jenna, Felix, Garet and Garet's three year old sister Mandy sat in the grass playing 'Where's the Baby?'
"Where's the Baby?" cooed ten-year old Felix. Even though Felix supposedly should've stopped liking younger children and started treating them as an annoyance, he would always stop and play 'Where's the Baby?' with Mandy. "There she is!"
Mandy giggled. Garet, seven years of age, snorted.
"How can you stand her?" he asked. Garet looked toward his friend, the six-and-three-quarters Isaac. Isaac was leaning back in the tall grass, staring at the sky. Jenna, aged seven, was watching his face intently.
"Watch," said Jenna, not taking her eyes off of him. "He's not blinking." She wasn't either.
"This is so boring," Garet said impatiently. Jenna glared at him.
"What do you suggest?" she said hotly.
"Suggest?" Garet said quizzically. "What's that word?"
"What do you say we do," Isaac said, not taking his eyes off the sky. A fat, fluffy cloud rolled over him.
"Oh," Garet shrugged. "I don't know."
"Why don't you pretend that Jenna's a princess?" suggested Felix. Garet gave him a Look.
"Why? Jenna don't act like a princess," Garet remarked. Jenna cuffed him on the head.
"Yes, a princess who's gonna be queen soon. And an evil lord has kidnapped her," Felix continued, taking Mandy into his lap. Isaac sat up. "And a brave knight and his squire have gone to save her."
"Who's the knight?" Garet said anxiously. Felix thought.
"I guess you can be the knight, Garet," Felix said, playing with Mandy's pigtails. Mandy giggled.
"Gariet gunna beya nite?" she hiccuped. Felix smiled.
"Yes Mandy.
"Ew!" whined Jenna. "Am I gonna hafta marry him?"
"Why would you have to do that, Jenna?" Felix asked. Jenna sighed.
"Cause it's the Law," Jenna said simply. "In all of Ma'am Dora's stories the brave knight marries the princess."
"It doesn't hafta to happen that way," Isaac commented. "It's a _modern_ world now."
"Okay," Jenna said, but Garet piped up.
"But why can't the knight marry the princess?" he demanded.
"Because marriage is a big commitment, and both parties must perform their share and not leave me with the cooking, the cleaning, AND the baby! He should do his damn part!" Isaac explained, in a slight monotone. "Or at least that's what mommy says."
"Oh," said everyone, except Mandy and Felix.
"What if the princess wants marry a guy who will do his damn part?" Jenna asked Felix. He shrugged.
"I guess she can do that too," Felix amended. "Me and Mandy will be-- " CRASH!!!!!!!!!
"Ha!" said a bratty little kid. "Gotcha!"
The little brat was about seven/seven-and-a-half years old, and was dressed very well. But he wasn't an Adept. And he had gripped Jenna on the upper arm.
"Hsu!" Garet cried out. "What are you doing here?!"
"Woo?" Jenna said. "That's a funny name."
"Hsu!" said Hsu. "And you better remember it!"
Remembering that she was in trouble, Jenna started struggling. "Let me go!"
"No!" Hsu said harshly. "I want to play with you guys!"
"You can't play if you are going to be mean," said Isaac in a quiet, I-really-meant-it voice.
"Yeah!" Garet agreed.
"Grr!" Hsu stomped his foot. "I don't hafta listen to you! If I can't play, I'm gonna . . .I'm gonna take her to my secret castle!"
"Fool!" Jenna shrieked. "It's not a secret anymore if you take me!"
"Shut up!" Hsu snarled. He started running, dragging a kicking and screaming Jenna to his secret castle. "Jenna!" Felix, Garet, and Isaac cried out. Mandy made a face.
"Jwennah goe bye-bye," Mandy pouted. Felix looked down at Mandy, then at Garet and Isaac.
"Sir Garet! Squire Isaac!" Felix commanded. Garet and Isaac lined up. "I charge thee with the mission to save my little sister, Princess Jenna from the evil knight Hsu!"
"Yes, umm . . . err. . ." Garet thought hard about what Felix's title would be.
"Prince Felix! Lady Mandy! We will not fail you!" Isaac saluted. Garet nodded.
"Right," he said. "Prince Felix."
With that, they ran off to save Princess Jenna.
Sir Garet and Isaac had made it halfway to the plaza before Isaac stopped dead.
"Gar--I mean, Sir Garet, we've forgotten our swords!" so the two ran back to Isaac's house were they had left them.
Dora was making her famous ReallyGoodCookies, and had not only sent out Isaac, but Kyle as well, who liked to snitch from the dough. So she didn't hear over the rolling pin and her off-key humming as Garet and Isaac creeped up to his room where they retrieved their machetes.
Isaac tied the sheath of the machete to his back, the handle sticking over his shoulder, while Garet tied it to his waist. Striking a pose, Garet shouted "To save the Princess Jenna!"
Isaac followed suit. "To save the Princess Jenna!"
From downstairs, they heard Dora yelling, "I thought I sent you two outside!"
Both boys sweatdropped.
"Let me go you--you--meanie!" Jenna shrieked and screeched. Hsu dragged her along, looking for a suitable hiding place. "I bet you don't even have a secret castle!"
Hsu grimaced. She was right. He had never been in Vale before, and had no idea of where he was going. Then, he saw it. A small cottage sitting in a clearing away from the village. It look empty, and a little ominous.
Perfect.
Hsu pulled Jenna along, who had finally seemed to give up kicking and screaming in favor of just walking really slowly. Hsu pointed to the cottage, and manuevered Jenna so she could see.
"Look, wech," Hsu cackled. ("Wench," Jenna corrected under her breath.) "That is my secret castle!! Mwahahaha!!"
"It's not secret anymore!" Jenna protested. "I know about it!"
"You don't count," Hsu said darkly. She was right again. Jenna had a knack for it. "C'mon, _wech_." ("Wench.") ("Oh, just shut up.")
"Garet," Isaac panted. "I could've sworn he went the other way."
The two boys were trudging up the side of Mt. Aleph, panting and starting to sweat.
"No way! If I were (huff) him, this is were I'd (puff) take Jenna!" Garet argued, out of breath. "It's (huff) seclooded and stuff."
"Secluded, Garet," Isaac corrected.
"Whatever," Garet said, irritably.
Felix saw them down below.
"HEY, GARET!!!!!!!!" he bellowed. "THEY WENT THE OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Isaac stuck his tongue out. "I _told_ you so."
Garet whined.
Jenna was crudely bound to a chair, meaning that she could've just untied the jump rope herself, but was staying put for the sake of tradition. Hsu was attempting a deep, maniacal laugh, but was achieving a sort of squeak that ground against Jenna's ears.
"Would you just stop that?" she said crossly. Hsu glared at her. "You're no good at it."
"And I suppose you're better?" Hsu retorted, blushing with embarrassment.
"No duh," Jenna smirked. "Listen and learn."
Isaac's head turned in the direction of Late Esme's cottage. Late Esme's real name had been Esmeralda. When she had been young, she had been called Young Esme. When her mother and father died in a fire, she was called Poor Esme. When she built a house all own her own, she had been called Strong Esme. When she married the village tailor, she was called Bride Esme. When she had her two children, she was Ma Esme. When her children grew up, she was Old Esme. When her husband died, she was called Widow Esme. And finally, when she died, she was called Late Esme. Her last words were, "Go to hell, you damn prefixes."
"Garet," Isaac asked. "Do you hear that?"
Garet looked at Isaac quizzically. "Hear what? The sound of all those poor fools who just read that huge paragraph about some weird dead lady moaning?"
"No, not that," Isaac said. "That laugh. It's coming from Late Esme's cottage."
"Ah!" Garet clamped on to Isaac's shoulder. "Do you think it's--Late Esme?!"
"No," Isaac mused. "It's too histerical. Late Esme had an evil laugh. Not histerical."
"Yeah," Garet nodded, letting go of his friend's shoulder. "Remember how she gave Jenna lessons, just before she died?"
Isaac shuddered. Then, a light bulb appeared. "That's Jenna laughing! She must be trying to signal us using her histerical laugh!"
"To Jenna!" Garet started running to Late Esme's cottage, with Isaac close behind.
"THAT's how you laugh," Jenna said smugly, crossing her arms. She accidently loosened the jump rope, and quickly put back down her hands to maintain the illusion of being trapped. Hsu shook his head.
"I wonder how you tie this thing," he wondered out loud.
Suddenly, there was the loud screech as Garet flung the door open. He raised his machete in the air, ready to attack Hsu. Hsu drew his own training sword, a stick with a hilt, and raised it into defensive stance.
As the battle raged, Isaac snuck towards Jenna.
"Hey, Jen," Isaac whispered. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Jenna smiled. "I'm fine. Untie me and we'll get out of here."
"Uh," Isaac tugged at the jump rope. It fell down the floor as he helped Jenna up. "Why didn't you just run away?"
"Where's the drama in that?" Jenna asked him testily. Isaac sweatdropped.
"Let's just go," he said meekly. Jenna walked briskly to the door. As Isaac followed Jenna out the door, he called to Garet. "Garet! I've got the Princess! Let's go!"
"Alright," Garet said glumly. He wanted to keep fighting Hsu.
"Oh, no you don't!" Hsu yelled. He stabbed Garet in the back as he turned to follow Isaac.
"No, Garet!" Isaac yelled. Jenna gasped.
"Garet," Jenna rushed to his side as Isaac ran towards Hsu, machete ready to pierce Hsu in the heart. Hsu, gasping his final breath, fell to the wooden floor, Isaac's machete in his body. Isaac went to Garet, who's head was resting in Jenna's lap.
"Garet," Isaac whispered, tears forming in his eyes. Jenna looking up at the blond boy, sniffing already.
"Isaac . . . ." Garet croaked. "Don't cry for me. Jenna, you . . . ."
"Yes?" Jenna asked tenderly.
"You . . . you can cry, 'cause you're a girl," Garet received painful bump on the head as Jenna stood up, indignant.
"OOhhhhhhh. What a way to break the mood, you big dunderhea--" Jenna was silence by Isaac.
"Don't forget me--" Garet fell limp.
"No!!" Isaac cryed out.
"Hmph!" Jenna turned her head.
The door creaked open again.
"Jenna? Garet? Isaac? Hsu? You in there?"
"Yes, Mayor/Grandfather," they all said in unison.
"What are you doing?" he asked as Garet and Hsu stood up, taking the swords from underneath their armpits.
"Nothing," Jenna said as sweetly as she could. "We're just playing."
"Okay," the Mayor smiled. "Hsu needs to go get ready to go back to Xian now."
"Okay," Hsu sighed. "Bye everyone. It was fun playing with you."
"Yeah," said Isaac. "See ya later."
That night, the entire court (Felix, Mandy, Jenna, Isaac, and Garet) got together in the meadow to celebrate the rescue of Princess Jenna and to crown her queen.
"Now do I marry her?" Garet asked Felix.
"Ew! I don't wanna marry him!" Jenna whined. Garet stuck his tongue out. "He's _dead_!"
"Well," Felix thought. "Jenna does need a king."
"Why do I need a king?" Jenna asked Felix angrily.
"You could marry me," Isaac offered. "I'm still living."
"Oh," Jenna made a face. "I guess you could marry me. You would make a good king."
"Then it's settled," Felix said. "Long live Queen Jenna! Long live King Isaac!"
The King and Queen lived happily, going on with their lives until one day, the Queen was again kidnapped, and thus setting the King on an even bigger quest than before. Life just works that way, huh?