The R-Men
By Jim R Bader
(Another Sillyfic Crossover)
In another time, another place, another dimension whose logic defies simple analysis...
VOICEOVER FROM ABOVE:
"Within all of us there is the possibility of change, but in a few that ability is given in a form that is both strange and too-too tragic..."
BEGIN STORY:
"Ah sirs," said the Chinese Guide, "You come to Blessed Hotsprings of Fabled Bayankalah Range. Is many a healthy spring for soaking in life-giving waters, have many benefits come by blessing of Goddess..."
"Here we go, Boy," said a squat, balding fellow wearing a pair of horn-rim glasses, "Time for a good bath after a long walk on a dusty trail, wouldn't you say?"
"You bet, Pop," said a handsome youth standing beside the barrel-chested older man, "I can sure use a good soak...we haven't had one since we left Japan!"
"Well, before a good soak I'd say a good work out was in order," the burly man flexed an arm and said, "Ready to get your licks in, Boy?"
"Sure thing, Pop," said boy replied, and the two men leaped off into the middle of the hot springs to begin free-sparring together, much to the dismay of the watching Guide.
"Sirs?" the Guide exclaimed, "What you do? Hot springs no for fighting, is for relaxing!"
"This is relaxing!" the boy called out, "Pop and me'll-HEY!"
A loud splash was punctuated by the burly man's alighting nimbly on one rock as he grinned and called out, "Too slow defending yourself there, Boy! You dropped your guard and let yourself be distracted!"
"No fair, Pop!" a higher-pitched voice complained as a redheaded girl surfaced from the hot spring that the boy had fallen into, "You know I was answering a question, and don't give me that 'You should always be on your guard against the unexpected' crap either! I have a good mind to kick your sorry butt from here to Hokkai-hey! What gives? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Uh...excuse me, miss?" the burly man asked as a question, "Have you seen my son around? You must have passed him in the water..."
"Very funny, Pop," the redheaded girl snarled, "And what are you guys staring at? You're acting like I grew a couple of boobs or something..." she paused as she took a glance down at herself, and then began screaming!
"Aiyaa..." the Chinese Guide exclaimed, "Fall in spring never do that before...what give?"
"POP!" the redheaded girl balled her fists and declared, "YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS, AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW!"
"Hmm..." the burly man adjusted his glasses and seemed to be considering something, then sighed, "I was afraid of this happening one day, Boy...I had hoped it would skip a generation with you, but it seems I was mistaken."
"MISTAKEN?" the redhead demanded, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MISTAKEN? YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS A MISTAKE, YOU OLD FOOL!"
"Not true," the burly man replied, and all at once his form shifted and grew even larger, taking on the distinctive markings of a Giant Panda, who held up a sign in one pay which read, "What you we have is a gift not shared by normal humans...and it is time you knew the truth about that."
"Truth?" the redhead blinked her eyes, "W-What truth? P-Pop? Is that you...?"
The Panda turned the sign around, which read, "There is a man I know whom I'd like to contact who can tell you all about it."
"A friend?" the redhead relaxed by a fraction, even as the Chinese Guide crossed up his eyes and silently fainted...
Ranma could not believe his eyes when he met a man who was even more bald than his father, but this Professor Xavier guy was definitely an odd one. Even more odd were the assortment of weird characters standing alongside the guy in the wheelchair who had exited a weird looking airplane that settled down outside of the remote Chinese village from where they had placed a long-distance collect phone call.
The strangers were colorfully dressed and had an aura of power about them that was difficult to define, though Ranma could sense that they were not overtly hostile. Not least in strangeness was a cigar-chomping character whose mere presence had sent her father into an terrified shiver, one where Saotome Genma had ignored all else and merely exclaimed a dismayed, "YOU?"
"Hey Bub," that fuzzy character growled, "Ain't seen you around since you married my kid. You been treating her right? And who's the scrub?"
"Scrub?" Ranma growled in irritation.
"Forgive Logan for his rudeness," Professor Xavier apologized, "Your father says that you recently had an experience that requires an explanation..."
"Father?" the one named Logan exclaimed, staring hard in Ranma's direction, "You mean...you're Nodoka's kid?"
"What's it to you?" Ranma demanded.
"Logan," the tall, slim man with reddish glasses said sharply, "Leave it until after the Professor has given his explanation."
"Explain what?" Ranma demanded, "Pop...what's all this about anyway, and why did I turn into a girl back there at the hot springs?"
"Well, Boy," Genma replied, "The simple explanation is that you're a mutant, just like your old man..."
"I'M WHAT?"
"It's true," Professor Xavier replied, "You carry within you a special 'X' gene that sets you apart from the rest of normal humanity. Such mutations are usually detected with the onset of puberty...but in your case it would seem that you are something of a late bloomer."
"HEY!" both Ranma and the man named Logan chorused together.
"At any rate," Professor Xavier continued as if not interrupted, "I want you and your father to come with us to America where we can run a few tests and help determine the extent of your mutation. I will see that you both are compensated for your time and troubles and..."
"Hey wait a minute," Ranma began to protest, "Why do I gotta-MMMPH!" he suddenly found his father's hand clamped over his mouth, stifling further protest.
"How much compensation are we talking about?" Genma smiled in an all-too-
benevolent manner not to raise suspicions in even the non-telepaths amid these colorful strangers.
All of a sudden the one named Logan removed his cigar from his mouth and began to sniff the air tensely, then in a wary tone of voice he said, "We got company."
"How many?" asked the white haired, black-skinned woman who called herself Ororo.
"Just two of 'em," Logan replied, "Approaching from the south and east. One guy's got a scent like a wild pig who hasn't bathed in a month...he's stumbling around like he was lost or somethin'...and unless I miss my guess he's carrying...an umbrella?"
"Now how in the world can you know all of that from the way he smells, guy?" Ranma asked after dislodging his father's beefy hands from his face.
"Don't gotta," Logan pointed with his cigar, "That's him over that way."
"Huh?" other heads turned to see a veritable wildman come stumbling out from amid the bushes looking lost, confused, tired, hungry and like he had not bathed recently...not to mention VERY, VERY ANGRY!
"R-Ranma!" this half-dead figure snarled as he came in sight of the obvious object of his intense interest and unslung a wicked-looking umbrella before crying out, "NOW YOU DIE!"
"Hold up there!" said a redheaded beauty from amid the party gathered around Professor Xavier, "Don't take another step forward!"
"Or what?" the wild boy with the umbrella growled...one second before his foot sank through a loose bit of gravel and he went tumbling over into the nearby stream that he had intended to leap over. One splash later and a small black pig surfaced from amidst a pile of soggy clothing.
"Well...I tried to warn him," shrugged the redhead.
"Another mutation?" the boy with red sunglasses.
"Seem to be a lot of 'em going around," grumbled Logan.
"You said that there were two scents, Logan," Ororo inquired, "What about the other?"
"That one's hiding back in the bushes on the other side of the clearing," Logan indicated the other direction, "Playing it cagey, not rushing to expose herself until she knows our strength and numbers."
"She?" asked the boy with red sunglasses.
"Yup, definitely a woman...make that a young girl," Logan automatically corrected, sniffing the air again before adding, "Nice scent...real clean...kinda familiar too, like I've smelled that brand of shampoo before..."
"Shampoo?" Ranma asked with sudden alarm.
"Do you know who these people are?" Xavier indicated the small black pig currently being fished out of the water by the Telekinetic redhead.
"Don't know who that guy is," Ranma swallowed, "But if that girl's who I think she is...we gotta leave here quick! She after me'n Pop, and I don't mean like for an autograph or nothing."
"Eh?" Ororo frowned, "Did you do something to upset this person?'
"Honestly I dunno," Ranma said, "All I know is Pop and me ate some food in her village, an' then she got angry at us and challenged me..."
"Waitaminute," Logan's face drained of color, "You didn't happen to beat her in a fight didja? Small village just south of White Rock mountain here in this flamin' Bayankalah region?"
"How did you know?" asked an astonished Genma.
"We gotta leave, Prof...and I mean now!" Logan declared with unusual alarm in his expression.
"Leave?" Xavier asked, "Why?"
"Trust me, Chuck, y'don't wanna know," Logan insisted.
"I sense the girl who is near to us is only interested in the boy," Xavier frowned, "But I don't believe her intentions are hostile..."
"Ain't the girl I'm worried about," Logan shook his head, "But if she ain't alone...and a certain member of her family shows up, I'm leaving..."
"And what member would that be..." asked a wizened old woman who suddenly appeared in their midst as she added a sly, "Airen?"
"Oh crap," Logan murmured faintly, showing the first traces of honest fear that had been seen in him for as long as anyone had known him, which got more than a few eyebrows lifted and turned in his direction...
Three Months later...
"Okay Pop," Ranma sighed as they stepped out of the cab that had brought their little party from the Tokyo airport, "We're here, now what's so important about meeting these folks that it was worth dragging us away from our training?"
"You'll see soon enough, Boy," Genma replied as he adjusted his glasses and surveyed the other three teens who had traveled with them from Westchester, America, "Tendo Soun is a very good friend of mine from my days of training long ago. When you meet him and his three lovely daughters you will see that we also share a lot more in common than the arts and our having been former alumni of the Xavier institute."
"Three daughters?" asked the purple haired Shampoo, who was just then fetching her luggage from the trunk.
"Sugar," said a brown haired girl beside her, "You wouldn't be trying to pull something on us, would you?"
"Why, whatever do you mean?" Genma asked with a patently innocent expression.
"I don't know why," said a boy with a bandana, "But I've got a weird feeling about this..."
"You've always got a weird feeling about you, Porky," Ranma growled, "Well...might as well get this over so we can get back to our training. Just...no powers around these guys, okay? We don't wanna have them thinking we're a bunch of freaks."
"Oh, no problem there, Boy," Genma smiled, "I hear the Tendo girls are very talented in their own right, just like their Mother was, the Kami bless her."
"How talented?" asked the purple haired girl as she and her brown haired often-
rival turned matching wary expressions towards the boy named Ranma...
Meanwhile inside a nearby dojo...
A young girl took careful aim as she surveyed a pile of bricks and boards stacked up neatly before her, then with great deliberation she drew back a fist and summoned up her power, bringing her hand down as a massive energy hammer took shape in the air and reduced the pile into so much rubble.
"You know," a sardonic voice remarked from close nearby, "It's things like this that make the boys in our school call you a freak, Akane."
"Hey, that's better than being called a Mutant, you know," Akane growled, "And that's a lot better than what they tend to say about you, Nabiki."
"Oh really?" her older sister smirked, and then her figure blurred for a moment before resuming her relaxed posture, "And you know what I think about what other people think, don't you?"
Akane surveyed the rubble that she had just created, which had been neatly arranged on the floor to form a cartoon face sticking its tongue out and pulling one eye down in a most insulting manner. She sniffed at this and said, "Showoff."
"Well, while we're on that subject," Nabiki replied, "Daddy wants us to meet with him in the living room, something about some guests he's having come pay us a visit...an old friend of his or something."
"And I suppose Kasumi's already made out the arrangements and is cooking up extra food for the extra company we'll be having?" Akane asked.
"Ever known Oneechan not to be three steps ahead of everyone, including Daddy?" Nabiki smirked, then paused as she cocked one ear, "Oops! Somebody at the door already. Better get changed so I can greet them in style."
Nabiki's form blurred again, only this time the streak headed towards the house, leaving a sweaty Akane to grumble, "Great...and what am I supposed to do? I can't shower and dress in two seconds like you can. Oh well..." she sighed and trudged her way out of the dojo, "Guess they'll have to get used to me as I am...not like I lack popularity as it is..."
Several moments later a kimono-clad Nabiki, freshly washed and freshened up, greeted a sight at the front door that caused her to blink several times before saying, "Ah...hello...excuse me?"
She was not immediately greeted by any acknowledgement that she had spoken, but when what looked like a giant panda bear turned an inquiring snuff her way the middle Tendo sister backed away in considerable alarm, a fact that gained the attention of one of the four bickering teenagers currently engaged in a brawl in the front yard of her house.
"HEY, QUIT IT GUYS!" a redheaded girl demanded as she dodged a powerful blow being swung her way by what looked like a giant pig standing on two legs, "YOU'RE SCARING HER ALREADY!"
"Quit dodging me, Ranma!" snarled the gruff-snouted man-pig, "I'm not about to fall for a line like that!"
"No, he's right!" a brown haired girl said as she leaped back from her purple-
haired antagonist and made a "T" with her hands, "Time-out already! We don't wanna look like a bunch of barbarians!"
Said purple haired girl froze in mid-motion, hanging in the air for several seconds before the brown haired girl stepped out of her way and watched as the girl went sailing past her and into the wall near to the gate, shattering it like one of the hammer blows of Akane.
"Whoah," Nabiki expressed in dismay, then stared in disbelief as the purple haired girl sprang back into the yard, having suffered no apparent injury, and snarled savagely, briefly sporting what looked like fur and a bushy tail before reverting to human normal.
"Who are you calling a barbarian?" the purple haired girl snarled, then turned a savage look towards Nabiki, "And who are you?"
"Huh?" Nabiki was surprised to be treated to such a display of unwarranted anger, but then a dark haired boy materialized before her and bowed respectfully before saying, "Sorry about this, they kinda get carried away. I'm Saotome Ranma, and this is my Pop...POP? Would you quit fooling around and turn human?"
"Sorry Boy," a turbaned man said in the place of the Panda, "Sorry if we disturbed you, girl. Is your father around?"
Before Nabiki could answer her father appeared and cried, "Saotome, my old friend! At last you are here...and is this your son...er...one of your children?"
"Only one of them I'll admit to," Genma said gruffly as he indicated the dark haired boy who had addressed himself to Nabiki, "This is my boy, Ranma, and the rest of these are friends of his who attend the same school together in America..."
"America?" Nabiki's interest level peaked at once as she took new stock of the dark haired boy, then glanced around and asked, "Ah...wasn't there a redheaded girl with you guys a minute ago?"
"What about her?" Ranma said gruffly, "Don't worry...she can take care of herself."
"Ah..." Nabiki reluctantly looked from the handsome boy to another boy who was nearly as good looking, only wearing clothes suspiciously a lot like the Man-pig of a moment before.
"Let's go inside and we'll make introductions," Genma suggested, "Tendo, old friend," he said as the two men embraced each other in a hug, "It's been too long."
"Tell me about it, Saotome," Soun replied as he shared the stockier man's bear-
hug, "Since we were last in the presence of...the master."
"Less said about him the better," Genma insisted, and the two men winked together as if sharing a private secret.
Nabiki wondered about this guy and his brood of handsomely dressed teenagers, all of whom spoke excellent Japanese but had the look of a group of well-dressed tourists about them, and the mention of America suggested to her an exotic story in the offing. She found her eyes turning back to the pig-tailed Ranma, then the other three youths who all seemed to be about the same age as either herself of Akane and wondered about this peculiar feeling that she was getting just being in their presence.
But then she also wondered why-if her father and this Saotome character were such good friends-the two men had been frisking each other when they shared a hug, as though both men were searching for the other man's wallet...
"Saotome," Soun said with great formality as the two groups assembled in the common room together, "May I present my three daughters, Kasumi, who is nineteen and unmarried, Nabiki, who is seventeen and you already met, and lastly my youngest Akane, who is sixteen and currently does not have a boyfriend."
"DAD!" Akane protested.
"Very nice to meet you," Genma bowed solemnly, He indicated the four teens who were with him, "This is Ranma, my son, who is sixteen. His friends are Hibiki Ryoga, Kuonji Ukyo and Xian Pu from China, all roughly the same age. Say hello to the Tendos, children."
"Hi," Ranma nodded.
"An honor," Ryoga bowed more deeply.
"Pleased to meet you," Ukyo followed.
"Nihao," said the purple haired Shampoo with stoical indifference.
"Girls," Soun said gravely, "Twenty years ago, before any of you were born, Saotome and I made an arrangement back when we were both fellow students in training under our Master..."
"The less said of whom the better," Genma added.
"Quite," Soun agreed before continuing, "The agreement we forged was to unite our families though the marriage of our children. Therefore one of you will become engaged to Saotome Ranma..."
"WHAT?" cried both Akane and Ranma as though the two of them had timed the outburst together.
"YOU WHAT?" Ukyo was almost on her feet and reaching for her Bakers peel in her outrage, the purple haired girl suddenly lurching to her feet with a pair of bonbori maces.
"You dare to make such an arrangement without consulting with me and Great Grandmother?" the purple haired girl snarled as she made threatening motions towards Genma.
"RANMA-HOW DARE YOU DO A THING LIKE THIS TO UKYO?" the boy named Ryoga reared to his own feet with short-hair breaking out all over his body.
"HEY!" Ranma protested, "I didn't know anything about this! What are you yelling at me for, Porky?"
"WHY YOU-!"
"Calm down everyone," said the oldest Tendo daughter with serene composure, "Shouting and getting angry won't solve anything. Let's discuss this matter like civilized people."
"Oh...okay," Ryoga said and sat down without further protest.
"Makes sense to me," Ukyo replied as she slung her spatula back across her shoulders.
"I'm glad to see somebody here has some manners," Shampoo sat down, her maces disappearing as suddenly as they had appeared.
"Huh?" Ranma blinked his eyes in dismay, having just witnessed the impossible, his best friends all agreeing not to fight with just a simple suggestion.
"Now then," Kasumi said serenely, "Explain this to us again, Father, on why you arranged a marriage for us without consulting with me or my sisters...or the boy in question?"
"Eh...well..." Soun said uneasily, "I did mean to bring it up at the proper time..."
"I think it would have been prudent to give us some warning in advance," Kasumi replied, "Of course I knew you would say this, but it would have been a courtesy to Nabiki and Akane if you had explained to them in advance the significance of this meeting."
"Hah?" Nabiki came out of her sudden daze at the whirlwind pace with which things seemed to be happening around her, "You want one of us to marry...him, Daddy?"
"No way!" Akane immediately protested, "Marry some guy we never even met? What if he's some kind of a freak or a pervert or something?"
"You mean the way people often talk about you, Neechan?" Kasumi gently reminded.
"Ah..." Akane actually hesitated when she considered that statement.
"I think it would be best for all concerned parties if we laid our cards out on the table," Genma said with a sigh, "There's no point in hiding the truth from anyone here. After all, we're all mutants."
Dead silence fell over the assembled group, and then Nabiki asked, "I beg your pardon?"
"It's true," Soun nodded, "Each of you was born with a special power that makes you different from other children your own age. My daughters were raised to conceal their gifts from the potentially hostile eyes of ordinary humans, and I take it the same is true of the rest of you young people?"
"Well..." Ukyo said reluctantly.
"I was never taught to hide my talents," Shampoo said with a huff, "In my village people respect you for what you are, just as long as you prove yourself and your worth before our people."
"But you're the exception here," Genma cautioned, "Ranma only just learned of his own mutant abilities a short while ago, while Ryoga..."
"I never asked to be like this," Ryoga huffed, "It's all your fault for exposing me, Ranma! The other boys in our school called me names, and then you walked out on a Man-to-Man fight...!"
"I didn't walk out, Stupid," Ranma growled, "I waited three days for you to show up, and the fight was only supposed to take place in the back of your house. If you weren't such a directionally challenged idiot..."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?" the other boy reared back to his feet with a look of impending mayhem.
"SIT DOWN!" an even louder voice declared as Soun seemed to rear up to enormous size and terrifying majesty. So frightening was his aspect that Ryoga and the others were immediately cowed, and even Ranma gave way to a yelp of dismay, with only Genma remaining seated and impassive.
The terrible Demons Head aspect vanished as mysteriously as it had appeared, leaving Soun in its place, composed and dignified with no other outward display of emotion, other than his declaration, "I will not put up with mindless fighting in this house. Now, keep things civil or you can leave. This is between Saotome and myself, and if you are not a family member..."
"Now hold on there, sir," Ukyo sat up, recovering from her own surprise, "Shampoo and me aren't uninvolved here! I have my own stake in this business about an engagement, and the same goes for Shampoo, so don't even think you can cut us both out of the picture!"
"That's right," Shampoo looked surprised at the generosity of her rival for including her in that statement, "Kuonji-san had a promised engagement to Ranma dating back over ten years, while I am bound to him by the laws of my people, and until we have settled the issue between us we do not even wish to hear mention of another engagement."
"WHAT?" Soun rounded on Genma, "Is this true, Saotome?"
"Ah...well..." the barrel-chested martial artist conceded.
"Daddy," Nabiki spoke up, "Just how many times has your friend over here engaged his son to other women?"
"You seriously wanna know?" Ranma grumbled, "I've been wanting to find out ever since I found out about the engagement to Ucchan."
"Oh my," Kasumi said, "Obviously you can't be married to more than one of us. Oh dear..."
"Ahem," Genma adjusted his glasses, "I'm sorry, but the agreement with Tendo precedes all other arrangements. I know that may be hard to accept but..."
All of a sudden the burly man found a spatula thrust to within an inch of his nose while a pair of bonbori were threatening his bald bandana-covered head.
"Care to say that again, Old Man?" Ukyo growled, "You took my dowry, like hell I'm letting this go uncontested."
"And if you think that I'll be content with that, then you'd better explain yourself to my Great Grandmother," the purple haired girl affirmed.
"Oh man," Ranma sulked, "Do we have to go through this again, guys? I told you before that I don't want to be engaged to anybody...not until I'm old enough and can decide for myself, so why do we have to rush things? Sheesh! We're not even out of High School yet."
"He has a point," Akane reluctantly conceded, "Shouldn't Ranma have a say in who he gets engaged to, Dad?"
"He may have the right to choose which girl he marries," Ryoga spoke up, "But as an affair of honor he's bound to obey the agreement set down by his father. To do anything less would be...unmanly."
Ranma glared at the other boy but managed to restrain himself from voicing another protest. Instead he glared at his father and said, "Affair of honor? You need to have a sense of honor before you can make agreements behind my back, old man."
"This doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere," Kasumi said, "Father...Ranma has raised a valid point. It would be best if we allow him time to decide whom he is to marry, and that means that he should get to know us all better so that we can see which of us might actually come to like him."
"Makes sense to me, Sis," Nabiki agreed, "What about you, Akane?"
"Leave me out of this," Akane huffed, "The last thing I need in my life right now is to get engaged to some...BOY!"
"Eh?" Ryoga asked, "Is there something wrong with boys?"
"Akane...has some issues with the boys of her school," Kasumi sighed, "There is one boy who has been...very troublesome of late."
"Oh yeah," Nabiki growled, "Kuno Tatewaki...he's a pain all right, even when he's not using his mutant power to slice through solid objects."
"Say what?" Ranma said, "You got a guy at your school who's a renegade mutant?"
"That's one way of describing him," Akane grumbled, "And because he's rich he thinks he can get away with intimidating me into dating him, the Baka."
"Sounds like quite a character," Ukyo noted, "Is he any good in a fight?"
"That depends on how you define 'good,'" Akane huffed, "But if you think you can take him, go right ahead."
"Humph," Shampoo sniffed, "If you want to find a man of your own, Spatula Girl, go right ahead."
"You wish," Ukyo snorted back, reaching for her bakers peel as the two girls glared at one another.
"Can't we all just get along?" Ranma sighed in a fatalistic tone of resignation.
"Perhaps we might all do better to calm down and discuss things like reasonable people," Kasumi suggested, "We can consider the issue of engagement at another time when we've had more time to get to know one another, right Father?'
"All right," Soun nodded, "For now...but only so long as Ranma chooses one of my daughters!"
"Ahem," Genma said, "Perhaps we can begin by revealing our powers and abilities so that everyone here can feel more relaxed around each other. As you can see I have the ability to shift my form into that of a giant panda," and with that his body became larger and more furry with the distinctive markings of that particular raccoon-like species.
"And I," Soun said melodramatically, "Have the ability to project a psychic attack that magnifies my personality and can overwhelm the psyche of even strong willed people. Kasumi here has the opposite ability to project an aura of calm and composure, allowing her to pacify even hardened combatants. She also has a limited ability to perceive the future and can avoid unpleasant situations before they can happen."
"Oh father," Kasumi smiled with a calm that was somehow unnerving before turning her attention towards Ranma, "They call me Serenity, for peace and domestic bliss is my standard."
"Nabiki here has the ability to accelerate herself forward in time," Tendo next revealed, "She can move at blinding speeds and become momentarily invisible, which allows her to maneuver around people and obstacles, to say nothing of what this ability gives her in terms of martial arts."
"Yeah," Akane growled, "But don't forget how she uses her talent to score points and make money spying on people, which is why kids in our school gave her the nick-name of Fastbuck."
"Excuse me?" Nabiki eyed her younger sister sidelong, "Then maybe you'd like to explain why people in your class gave you the nick-name of The Hammer."
Akane sulked as her father explained, "Akane can project energy fields and force waves similar to Chi attacks, and when concentrated through her hands will indeed resemble the effects of a colossal hammer."
"Maybe they should call her the Mallet Girl instead," Shampoo remarked.
"Excuse me?" Akane glared at the purple haired Chinese girl, "You care to repeat that?"
"Ah...it wouldn't be wise to pick a fight with Xian Pu, Akane," Genma cautioned, "She has some unusual talents of her own..."
"Don't bother, father-in-law," Shampoo said slyly, "I can show this outsider girl perfectly well for myself."
"Oh no!" Ranma winced, "Not that, please!"
"Sorry Ranma," Shampoo snarled, "This girl needs a lesson in manners to an Amazon," and all at once her form grew furry and her face took on a bestial appearances as she transformed into a humanoid cat girl, then flashed a wicked set of claws and said, "This change is not just superficial...I have an extra ability far more devastating than any mere hammer..."
"That's enough, Thundercat," Ukyo urged her rival, "My ability is a little like Nabiki's...I can stop time and freeze the motion of any object, or speed it up selectively. Observe!"
She stood up and from seeming nowhere produced a flat iron grill, then caused it to hover in mid-air, suspended above the ground by no visible means of support, then quick as a wink she went to work on the grill, whipping out the ingredients with which she turned out rapid fire condiments, all of which landed before the astonished onlookers on paper plates, hot, crisp and extremely tasty looking.
"Wow," Nabiki blinked her eyes, then held up a sample and took a bite before reacting with surprise, "Delicious!"
"Oh my," Kasumi said, "It's so flavorful and evenly cooked, lightly crusted on the edges and easy to chew around the center."
"Gosh...how could you make something like this in less than a second?" Akane asked, "I'm impressed."
"All part of my special talent," Ukyo grinned, "And it's why they call me Timestop. Your turn, Ryoga-kun."
"Ah...do I have to?" Ryoga winced.
"C'mon, Porky," Ranma smiled, "Why not show the ladies the Beast that goes with the beauty."
"Shut up, Ranma," the other boy growled, but then his face and body once again became covered in short, wiry black hairs as his face took on a bestial snout and a pair of wicked fangs sprouted from his lips forming tusks that went with the rest of his boar-like appearance. He turned his frightening face to the others and snorted like a pig then audibly said, "They call me the Oni...I get stronger when I'm like this."
"Whoah," Akane blinked, then hesitantly asked, "Do they...hurt when they grow like that?"
"What?" Ryoga turned to look at the younger girl.
"Those fangs...I mean...when they grow out like that?" Akane asked, then hastily looked away, "Oh...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...ah..."
Nabiki smirked as she saw her sister blush, silently amazed that her boy-hating sister was actually showing a favorable emotion in the presence of a boy her own age, but then she turned her attention back towards Ranma and said, "And what's your talent, sexy?"
"Huh?" Ranma blinked, even as Shampoo and Ukyo frowned in Nabiki's direction, "Er...well...let's skip that part for now, okay?"
"No it's not okay," Ryoga growled as she shifted back to human form, "I had to reveal my talent, so why don't you Ranma?" he spoke the word with a particularly nasty expression.
"Go ahead, Ranchan," Ukyo smiled, "Show your talent to the ladies."
"Yes," Shampoo also grinned, "By all means, Airen, let them see your other face."
"Boy," Genma sighed, "You're going to have to let them know sooner or later."
"But..." Ranma winced, "It's so embarrassing..."
"But still," Kasumi said simply, "You know about our talents, so is there any reason we should not know yours?"
"Boy," Genma said, "Remember what the Professor said about being a man regardless of your physical condition."
"Since when did you listen to the Professor?" Ranma growled.
"Ranma," Soun said gravely, "Are you attempting to hide something from me and my daughters?"
"Ranchan," Ukyo said gently, "Remember what Logan-san said about your ability?"
"Your grandfather is a very wise man," Shampoo said simply, "Great grandmother has great confidence in his wisdom. You should heed it now, Airen."
Ranma sighed, "Okay...I've got the ability to generate really high Chi levels and draw them from my environment...tap into Ley lines and that sort of thing..."
"And?" Ryoga actually smiled, revealing his fangs were pretty pronounced even in his human state."
Ranma glared at him, then sighed and seemed to relax, only his form altered as he lost several centimeters in height and his hair changed coloration while his body shifted in other ways, narrowing in the waist while widening around the hip and bust area.
"This is my other self," the redheaded figure said with lowered expression, "I sometimes change when I get excited or surprised, but I can do it at will if I need to."
"Y-You...change into this?" Nabiki blinked, then suddenly she was sitting right next to the redhead and tapping her on the chest as if to confirm that the swelling was what she suspected, "T-They're...real...?"
"Hey!" Shampoo and Ukyo cried together.
"Ah...yeah," Ranma stared at the finger poking her and said, "Could you...stop doing that please?"
"Ah...sorry," Nabiki withdrew the finger, staring down into the blue eyes of the shy girl who sat in the place of the handsome boy, "Are you...really...?"
"I'm Saotome Ranma, but you can call me Switch," the girl nodded slowly, then stared down as she added, "Sorry about this..."
Continued?
Comments/Criticisms/"You've-Gotta-Be-Kidding": shadowmane
Yep, just another silly fanfic crossover idea, but I thought it was worth exploring, so...in light of the recent X-Men movie I thought I'd give this thing a whirl. Not to worry, though, I have more serious fanfics still in the works, and my long-running series will shortly continue. Stay tuned for future installments of my other works, and if you enjoyed this one feel free to write and make comments.
Jim R. Bader
7/28/00
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