I don't own the Vampire Diaries. This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, so please be kind!

Fic title is the name of a Switchfoot song. Chapter title from the Kelly Clarkson song, 'Behind these hazel eyes'.

"Now all that's left of me, is what I pretend to be – so together, but so broken up inside.

'Cause I can't breathe, and I can't sleep, I'm barely hanging on ..."

Chapter 1 – All that's left of me

Caroline was sat on the porch swing, legs tucked underneath her and eyes distant, when her mother pulled up in the driveway. It was about an hour before dawn and she wasn't expected home for hours. Liz got out of the car, looking exhausted. With all the supernatural drama, Caroline sometimes forgot that her mother also had to deal with the human crimes committed in Mystic Falls too.

There had been a number of burglaries in the area recently, and the most recent had ended in tragedy when the home-owner disturbed the robber and ended up in hospital with four stab wounds from one of their own kitchen knives. Liz had just come from taking her statement at the hospital and offered Caroline a tired smile as she climbed the steps to the door.

"You weren't waiting up for me, were you sweetheart? I'm only back for a nap and then I have to go back out to the Miller house and check the scene's secure."

"No, don't worry. I was just thinking out here, that's all."

"At 5am? Must be serious. Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's fine, Mom. Go sleep."

Caroline didn't look up, just continued to look across the street, staring into space. Liz frowned, concerned at the unusual lack of reaction from her normally talkative daughter. "Okay, if you're sure. Night, sweetheart."

"Night, Mom."

Liz let herself into the house and headed for her bedroom. She paused at Caroline's open bedroom door, noticing a folded sheet of paper on her bed that was out of place in her daughter's normally impeccably tidy room. She paused in the doorway, weighing her daughter's privacy against the little voice telling her to check if Klaus had left her daughter another 'gift'. Her protective instinct won out and she crossed the room to scoop up the paper, Caroline's ring dropping to the bedspread from inside the fold as she did.

She picked up the ring, confused, as she knew Caroline never took it off. Daylight rings weren't exactly readily available, after all. Unfolding the paper, she was surprised to see it was addressed to her. Skimming the first few sentences, her hand flew to her mouth to stifle her cry of surprise.

Mom,

I love you, so much, but I can't do this anymore. I can't be here in this town, where everything reminds me of what I've lost. The only thing I see in my future here is more pain, and I may be a coward for this but I can't face it. Because of what I am, my future could be a really long time, maybe even forever, and forever is far too long to be alone.

You and Daddy were right. I shouldn't be alive like this. Caroline Forbes, your daughter, died in that hospital bed three years ago, and she should have stayed dead. So, I'm just rectifying that mistake.

I'm so sorry – the thought of leaving you alone is the only thing that's stopped me until now, but you are so much stronger than me – you'll get over this. I just can't cope with this pain any more, Mom. The enhanced emotions make everything so much more intense and it's too much.

I love you forever,

Caroline x

Liz sat on Caroline's bed, absorbing the shock and swallowing the terror she felt at the thought of losing her only child. She came to terms with Caroline's undead status a long time ago, and was even a little relieved that she was less … breakable … than before, especially considering the dangers of the town they lived in. She had thought that their relationship was better than it had been in years, but she was hurt that her daughter hadn't felt that she could talk to her about her problems.

Not for the first time, she regretted burying herself in work after the divorce. She knew a lot of Caroline's insecurities were from that time, and hated herself for making her daughter feel that way. She also wished she's discussed what had happened with Bill more with Caroline, but with his death and then the hastily arranged funeral … it just never seemed the time, and Caroline had seemed to bounce back to almost her normal self, just like she always did.

Turning her letter over in her hands, she wondered just how much of the face her daughter presented to the world was a mask. Clearly, more than she'd thought.

Her sheriff-trained brain came up with and discarded a dozen plans in the space of about a minute, and she quickly made a decision. She was going to need help – unless she wanted to lose her daughter forever, she needed to handle this carefully.

She went into the kitchen and poured two mugs of coffee, taking both outside and handing one to her bemused daughter, who tensed slightly. Liz sat down and took a sip of her own coffee, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

"I can't sleep, my brain won't switch off."

Caroline relaxed, "So, coffee as sleep-replacement, then?"

"As always." Liz smiled and turned a little to face her daughter.

"I love you, sweetie. I hope you know that."

"I love you too, Mom." she replied, a little confused, and then she felt the tell-tale prick of vervain in her thigh, followed by the burn she was all too familiar with.

Shocked, she turned betrayed eyes on her mother "Mom, what –" and then her world went black.