A/N: This snippet takes place post season two episode three and is loosely based off of spoilers and promos that have been circulating. Reviews and comments are always welcomed and appreciated.
"Amanda." That voice. She thought she'd never hear it again.
"Kenya? Where have you been? What happened?" Amanda's head was suddenly filled with questions. Questions that she had pushed to the back of her mind in hopes of forgetting the pain that always came with them.
"Shh. That's not important." Her sister looked so calm, so graceful, so beautiful. She looked … at peace.
"Not important?" Amanda repeated. "Kenya, I haven't seen you in almost a year! You gave me a pep talk and then left. I'd say it's pretty damn important."
"I had to leave." Kenya calmly replied.
Amanda's brow furrowed as she contextualized her last encounter with her sister. "You thanked me and praised me. I thought you were worried I'd lost my mind along with the election, but you-you were saying goodbye." For a brief moment her eyes widened in horror as the truth finally sunk in. "You KNEW I'd never see you again, didn't you?" Kenya's silence only confirmed her accusation. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? What did you get yourself into that was SO bad that you couldn't let me help you with it?"
"I can't tell you."
"Can't tell me? You can't tell me? That's shtacko Kenya, and you know it. Being mayor was just a job, but did you ever think that maybe I'd lose my mind if I lost YOU?" Anger. That was the only emotion Amanda could feel at that moment, and she wanted so badly to feel anything that she readily embraced the heat of its rage. "You were the one thing that made this miserable world bearable," she declared.
Kenya cast her eyes away from her sister. "I hate seeing you like this."
"Well you should've thought about that before you left me." Amanda's voice was full of spite, and a part of her was scared of it. Who was this person so full of hate? This person who looked back at her in the mirror with empty eyes? This person who just hurt the most important person in her life? A part of her desperately wanted to hug her sister and promise her that everything was going to be okay, that she was okay, but Amanda knew that both of those promises would be lies. She was so tired of lying.
"Why are you using the blue devil?" Kenya's tone was full of concern, and yet Amanda couldn't help but scoff.
"Really? Are you of all people really asking me that question?" She paused. She had worked so hard to keep up her façade these past nine months, and it was becoming too much. The anger she once felt was thinning, and in its place was now a sense of defeat. "I'm only human, Kenya. I'm coping." Her reply was flat, but it was honest.
"Numbing yourself isn't coping. It's running. You don't run, Amanda. That's one of the things that I always admired about you. You've always been stronger than that, stronger than mom and me." Kenya's voice was gentle and soothing, but the mention of their mother made Amanda cringe.
"People change."
"No, they really don't." Kenya smiled. "You're in there. Let yourself out."
She walked up to her sister and gently cupped her cheek. Her thumb wiped away the tears that Amanda hadn't even realized existed. "You hurt me. You LEFT me." Amanda blurted out. "I never left you," she quietly added as she fought back sniffles. Kenya wrapped her arms around her big sister and tenderly stroked her hair. For the first time ever their roles were reversed.
"I know. I know," she replied.
Amanda's voice was barely a whisper. "I can't be just me. It hurts too much."
"Oh, baby." Kenya embraced her sister. "Life hurts, but that's no reason to stop living. You know that better than anyone else." She placed a kiss on Amanda's head and whispered in her ear, "I love you. Why can't you love yourself?"
Amanda's eyes jolted awake. Her breathing was heavy, and her body shook with the sobs she refused to hold in any longer. For so long it was just the two of them, her and Kenya. Even when Hunter and Connor entered the picture their bond always came first. Now it was just Amanda, and Kenya was just a ghost.