A/N: My friend Mangarific, and I were coming up with a bunch of funny scenes in a LONG car drive, so I decided to write them down as one shots. More comedy-ish then my normal depressing stories and I enjoyed writing them. I hope you do too, Review please!!! (You know I used to be good at writing A/N's but now…well not anymore…XD)

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA

RIZA POV

"How did this happen?" Colonel Roy Mustang exclaimed. I looked up to see him glaring at the enormous amount of paperwork piled up on his desk. I sighed, war hero or not he was still a lazy ass.

"It's called you goof off for three hours and get behind on your work, sir."

"I was not goofing off!"

"So you and Havoc playing leap frog was not goofing off." I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"NO, it was not!" He said, but turned back to his work mumbling under his breath.

"What was that?" I asked, looking up again.

"Nothing…"he replied, I smiled. Sure it was nothing. Before I could press the matter further, the door burst open and Havoc came in waving a magazine in Roy's face, oblivious to my presence.

"Hey Roy, look what came in the mail yesterday! I assume you got yours too?" he asked, nudging Roy.

"Havoc! Get that sh-"Roy started to say, flinging the magazine away and unfortunately into my face. They both turned to look at me fearfully and all was quiet.

"PLAYBOY!!" I screamed, looking at the cover in disgust. "WHAT THE HELL!" I started to rip up the disgusting…thing while Havoc started cowering into the corner and Roy slowly backed away from me. "YOU EVER BRING THAT SHIT IN HERE AGAIN AND I WILL PERSONALLY SHOOT YOUR PERVERTED BALLS OFF!!!" I yelled, my hand inching towards my holster.

"I-I'm so sorry lieutenant! Please don't shoot me!" Havoc said, starting to cry. Roy grabbed my arm,

"Now look Riza. Maybe we should just all calm do-"

"Calm down! Right. Okay. Fine. Whatever. But Havoc."

"Y-Yes, lieutenant?" Havoc said, inching towards the door. I took out my gun and fired once into the door and he backed away.

"I mean it."I said, and then smiled as he ran out screaming. I turned around to find Roy staring at me.

"What."I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"N-Nothing!" he said, hurriedly. He headed back over to his desk and started working on his paperwork. I smiled; sometimes being me was just too fun.