Hey this is a one shot I wrote for my friend's birthday, Happy Birthday Carola-Chan!
I thought I had better post it to explain the delay on my other stories updating. Anyway this is based on a routine by Scottish comedian Danny Bhoy, the clip of which can be seen here
http : / / youtube. com/ watch? v B38amFuKJM
Just take out the spaces and add an equals sign after the v. I hope you like it!
Sasuke had been staying in the hotel for three days so far. At first he had been rather uncomfortable when he first opened the curtains which covered the full length windows in the living area. The windows happened to look directly into the windows of the hotel next door, not for any particular reason, it had just happened that way. For the first day or two he had been worried by the windows until it had become apparent from the closed curtains that the room opposite was currently unoccupied, and so he had become relaxed, although he still checked the window each time he walked past it was more out of habit than anything.
It was on the fourth day that he had finally seen the inside of the room.
He was walking out into the kitchen for breakfast when he saw someone in the room opposite so naturally he stopped to see who it was. It appeared to be a naked man. He shook his head slightly, surely he wasn't actually naked... The Uchiha peered a little, thinking maybe he was just wearing a beige leotard or something (hey if someone can wear green spandex they can wear anything), then came the horrible moment when the blonde man swung around and saw the raven man standing there. Sasuke clearly saw the words 'What the fuck' fall from the man's lips.
He tried to explain through mime to the now obviously naked man. He tried to mime and found himself talking and explaining it at the same time.
"I was just walking past," he turned on the side and took a few steps and then turned back to the window, "And I saw you and I wasn't sure if you were naked so I was peering," he leaned forward and squinted, "And then you turned around and 'what the fuck'," he mimed the other man's movements, "And I just thought you should know, I can see you, I can see you," he mimed the internationally accepted actions for 'I can see you'.
The blonde man obviously misunderstood, he started miming back, "I can see you too," he mimed and rubbed his left nipple with his thumb, jerking his head in an obvious invitation to come over.
Sasuke's eyes widened and he began shaking his head and waving his hands, "No! No! You don't understand! I don't want to see you. I want you to close your curtains, close your curtains," he held his fists in front of his chest and moved them together and pulled them apart again in a gesture meant to resemble the closing of curtains.
He saw the blonde eyebrow rise and the other man posed his hands in the same way as Sasuke and began tensing his muscles and turning on the side.
"No no no!" Sasuke shook his head wildly, "Pull your blind down. Pull down your blind," he raised one fist and began pulling it down, pumping it up and down. He suddenly realised what he was doing and stopped, blushing. The blonde grinned, and burst out in laughter. Sasuke gave a small smile.
It was at this point that he realised he had been standing there for twenty minutes staring at a naked man, he could have just closed his own curtains. Maybe this was a Freudian moment, maybe he was finding out he was gay, so he looked down, he was fairly sure if he was gay there should be some sort of movement downstairs.
Oh had I mentioned that he was naked as well? That's probably a fairly important part of the story. Sorry.
So anyway, he looked down and sure enough he seemed to be standing at attention, he blushed bright red when he looked over and realised that the other man had an identical problem.
He saw the man laugh again and wave an arm at him in invitation.
Sasuke found himself wondering what the blonde sounded like.
He realised that he was actually considering going over to some random naked guy's hotel room based purely on mutual erections.
And even that didn't put him off.
"What room?" Sasuke said exaggerating each word.
The blonde's eyes lit up and he ran and bent over the table and returned a moment later holding up a piece of A4 paper with the numbers 1205 written in permanent marker.
The raven's heart was pounding as he walked back into his bedroom and got dressed quickly, he walked back out into the living room and saw the blonde still there. The man gave him a disappointed look as his eyes swept over Sasuke's now clothed body. The raven chuckled and the other man grinned at him. He waved and grabbed his keys heading out the door, he got into the lift and took a deep breath closing his eyes on the way down until he felt the movement stop. He walked out into the lobby and out the front door. Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets and walked calmly into the hotel next door.
"Excuse me sir, may I help you?" the young lady behind the desk asked politely.
"Uh yes I'm here to visit my friend in room 1205," Sasuke said calmly, belying the furious pounding in his chest and the blush threatening to explode across his face.
She checked her computer monitor, "You are a guest of Mr Uzimaki?" she asked staring at him.
"Yes, do I need to call up or can I just go up?" he asked utilising his impressive Uchiha composure.
"I can call if you like Mr?" she offered.
"Uchiha, Sasuke Uchiha," he informed her, as soon as he said he realised that maybe he should have used a fake name.
"Just a moment sir," she dialled a number on her phone, "Mr Uzimaki? I have a Sasuke Uchiha here to visit you."
She listened for a moment, "Of course sir, just checking, I shall send him up immediately," she hung up and dug around in a nearby cupboard for a second. She pulled out a key and handed it to him, "Mr Uzimaki said to let yourself in sir," the young woman gave him a speculative look that made the Uchiha blush, "Twelfth floor sir."
He cleared his throat, "Thank you."
Sasuke made his way to the elevator, clutching the key nervously he pressed the button for the twelfth floor. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, it wasn't too late to turn around and leave. Just tell the lady he had forgotten something and walk away. But he had the key. And they had his name.
He sighed and watched as the floor number climbed and climbed until it stopped at 12. He walked out of the lift and looked around until he saw a sign that said '1201-1210' in golden letters, he headed down the hall, sure that anyone passing by would be able to hear the blood pounding around his chest, in fact they could probably hear it in their rooms he thought ruefully.
He calmed his breathing as he reached the door to room 1205. He rested his forehead against the door and took a deep breath, this was it, after this there was no turning back.
He lifted his trembling hand and fit the key into the lock and turned, almost surprised when the door gave under his slight push, he walked hesitantly into the lush apartment. He closed the door softly behind himself.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now? He looked around the overly clean apartment and realised the guy must have just arrived today or yesterday, that would explain why the curtains had always been closed until now.
"Hello?" he called out softly. There was no answer and Sasuke walked slowly over to the window, from there he could see his own living room perfectly, he blushed.
"Welcome Sasuke," a voice said warmly and Sasuke turned to see the blonde man leaning in the doorway, he had put a pair of pants on which made Sasuke both glad and slightly disappointed, "I'm Naruto Uzimaki, your new neighbour."
The blonde grinned and Sasuke found himself blushing, Naruto had a nice voice, full of humour, even speaking normally it sounded as if he was going to start laughing any moment.
"Nice to meet you," Sasuke said, his eyes quickly swept lightly over the tanned muscular body in front of him.
"So what now?" Naruto laughed.
The raven gave a slight smile, "I have no idea, I have never done anything like this before oddly enough."
"Me either," the blonde grinned, "Why don't we sit down and have a drink?"
"That sounds easy," Sasuke smiled sitting on the couch, Naruto ignored the other couch in favour of sitting next to the Uchiha.
"What would you like to drink?" he asked taking the opportunity to examine the raven haired man close up.
"Uh nothing yet, I just woke up," Sasuke admitted, "I'm on holiday."
Naruto chuckled and the Uchiha discovered it was a fascinating sound, "Don't worry me too. I only got here late last night so I slept in. Can I kiss you?"
"Sure, wait what?" The raven asked realising what the blonde had asked.
He saw the first blush cover the tanned cheeks, "I'm sorry, I just…would you mind terribly?"
Sasuke wasn't sure how to answer, this was more or less what he had expected to do when he came over. He wasn't prepared for the man to actually ask for permission. He idly wondered what would happen if he declined.
The Uchiha chuckled, "Why are you even asking dobe?" He leaned forward until their lips were just touching and kissed the other man lightly. Naruto wrapped his arms around the slim waist and pulled Sasuke into his lap, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He licked at the rosy lips which parted immediately to let the slick wet tongue to enter his mouth exploring Sasuke's mouth. The raven pushed back wrapping his arms around the tanned shoulders, forcing his own tongue into the other mouth which tasted of ramen. Ramen for breakfast? He didn't even want to know, he was far more interested in the future than the past.
Sasuke pulled away for a moment and leaned back lifting his left leg in an arc until he was sitting more comfortably one leg either side of the other man.
"Flexible aren't we?" Naruto chuckled again, it was a sound that went straight to Sasuke's groin, an embarrassing problem in his current position. He was sure the blonde under him would feel the twitching against his leg or stomach.
The Uchiha blushed, "Sorry Naruto."
The blonde raised an amused eyebrow, "What for?"
"Um…. For…well..." he trailed off and looked away embarrassedly.
"Sasuke," he raised one hand to the pale cheek and turned his face back to face him, "Obviously we both already know the effect we have on each other, we've clearly seen the effects at a distance, and the fact that you're even here says that you wouldn't mind finding out a bit closer up. I just need to know one thing, are you sure about this? And how far and you wanting to go?"
Sasuke chuckled slightly, "When I woke up I didn't even know I was gay."
Naruto's eyes widened, "I'm sorry I…. Did you want me to stop? I mean I just thought you must-"
"It's the hair," Sasuke grinned ruefully, he leaned in and trailed kisses up the tanned neck until his lips met the blonde's. Their tongues met briefly before he pulled away, "I said I didn't know I was, not that I wasn't."
"Still this is a big decision to make just on account of me being the second hottest thing in this room," Naruto smirked.
The Uchiha tried to hide his smile, "Mr Uzimaki I do believe you are flirting with me."
"Well I figure it might be a bit late seeing as I have already seen you naked, gotten you aroused and kissed you but we seem to be intent on going about this in the weirdest way possible so I thought I may as well throw that in," the blonde grinned widely as he leaned in and bit the pale man's shoulder, the man in his lap groaned at the sensation and Naruto licked at the bite he had made in the juncture between shoulder and neck. The tanned hands slowly trailed up the pale sides dragging the shirt up with them, as he lifted the article of clothing over the raven head the blonde lowered his head again to latch onto a pink nipple, gently biting and licking at it as he threw the shirt somewhere in the room. Sasuke lifted his hands to tangle them in the yellow blonde hair, his back arching as Naruto licked his way over to the other sensitive nub. The Uchiha leaned over and buried his face in the soft blonde hair, it smelt of apples, a comfortable smell that relaxed the pale man immediately. He ran his hands down the tanned sides feeling the muscle definition in the sides, whoever Naruto Uzumaki was he was certainly fit.
He reached the waistband of the tracksuit pants the blonde had thrown on before he got there. It was at this point that the voice in his head decided to interfere.
How far was he really wanting to go? Was he even sure he liked men? Sasuke thought back over his history of disastrous relationships and there was really nothing he could think of about those relationships that he would even possibly miss.
Naruto had noticed his preoccupation and taken the opportunity to slip his free hand down the front of the raven's pants, he gave a soft stroke to Sasuke's erection. The Uchiha gasped and arched his back slightly at the multiple assaults on his pleasure sensors. He growled and leant forward and yanked the blonde man's pants down swiftly and captured his open mouth with his own. This kiss was more urgent and passionate than the last one and Naruto pulled his hand out of the raven's pants to instead grab the waistband and ease the pants down slowly, the fabric rubbing slowly over the pale erection making Sasuke groan until he was finally free. The blonde stood and rid himself of his pants before slowly dragging Sasuke's pants teasingly down his legs before dropping them on the floor. He grinned and knelt on either side of Sasuke's legs kissing his way slowly from the raven's inner thighs, circling that most sensitive area, dipping his tongue into the tanned navel eliciting a groan from the Uchiha, he continued on his way up to Sasuke's face via the most teasing route possible. He visited one nipple first, licking and biting to ensure it remained erect before moving onto the other, sucking and pulling as the man under him squirmed. He grinned and could feel the Uchiha growl underneath him, he left feather-light kisses up the pale chest, making the kisses deeper when he reached the neck before their lips finally crashed together.
Sasuke finally opened his eyes to look directly into sky blue eyes full of lust and longing. He grinned and turned to the side as the blonde moved down to leave his mark on the pale chest, as Naruto bit down he felt the Uchiha tense so he licked and kissed the skin. When he didn't feel the man relax he looked up quizzically to see the raven's eyes frozen on his apartment.
The blonde looked out his window only to see a woman standing in the exact spot Sasuke himself had previously occupied, looking quite shocked.
Naruto stood up, "Is that your wife or something?"
The raven looked like he was choking, "No, you don't understand….that's the cleaner."
The blonde looked at his strangled expression and laughed, he held out his hand to the other man, "Would you prefer to move to the bedroom? The curtains are closed I swear."
Sasuke latched on and stood, trying to hide his obvious erection behind Naruto, the blonde turned to the window and gave a little wave.
"Dobe! What are you doing?" the Uchiha hissed.
"Well if she's going to be a nosy pervert I might as well give her a good look," the blonde smirked.
"Yeah but I'm here for another two weeks, I am so putting up the 'do not disturb' sign for the rest of my holiday," he muttered.
Naruto pulled him into the bedroom and closed the door. He pushed the raven backwards onto the bed kissing him fiercely. He ground his groin down on Sasuke's and the reaction was everything he had been hoping for, the raven gasped, his eyes widening. He grabbed the blonde hair and pulled Naruto down as tightly as he could.
The blonde pulled away panting, he ran his eyes over the pale raven haired man and smiled, "Sasuke do you have any idea what gay sex is?"
The Uchiha blushed, "Basically yeah."
"Are you okay with that? I won't do anything you don't want, you can even top me if you like," Naruto offered.
The raven mumbled something.
"What did you say?" the blonde asked raising an eyebrow.
"I said," Sasuke paused and turned bright red, "I wouldn't know what to do."
"Oh I'll show you," Naruto grinned, "So long as you don't mind."
The raven shook his head and Naruto gave him a quick kiss before he stood, moving to grab a tube leaving Sasuke to mourn the brief loss of warm contact. The blonde squirted a little of the clear liquid onto his fingers and spread it around, letting it warm up.
He bent Sasuke's legs up against his body and knelt on the bed, "I won't lie Sasuke, this is going to be very uncomfortable at first and most likely hurt."
The raven nodded and with that Naruto began circling the ring of tight muscle with the slick finger gently rubbing and massaging at the entrance before slipping the digit inside, Sasuke hissed and the blonde leant over and covered the lips with his own trying to draw his attention from the finger that was probing and stretching at the raven's insides. When he had stretched it out enough he slipped a second finger inside, taking it as slowly as he could, scissoring and stretching, rubbing slowly at the insides searching for the spot he knew would make the Uchiha moan. He hit the bundle of nerves he had been hunting for, causing Sasuke to arch his back, his eyes wide and mouth agape.
"Oh god," Sasuke groaned, "Straight sex never felt like this!"
Naruto chuckled and captured his mouth again as he slid the third finger inside to finish his stretching. Before he removed the fingers he rubbed at Sasuke's prostrate once more ripping a moan from the raven, Sasuke whimpered slightly at the loss of the fingers before he felt the presence of something larger pushing gently at the muscle.
"I promise I'll go slow, just please try and relax," Naruto whispered huskily in his ear.
There was a look of almost inhuman patience on the blonde's face as he slowly slid himself in, pausing for Sasuke to adjust, his breathing quickening.
"God you're tight," he moaned kissing the raven's collarbone lightly as he waited for the signal to move in further. Sasuke gave him a little nod and he slowly pushed himself the rest of the way in.
"Are you alright?" he asked the Uchiha, brushing the raven hair away from his forehead, kissing him lightly.
Sasuke's muscles chose that moment to tense around him and Naruto gave a groan.
"Please move," Sasuke said huskily, his voice and eyes screaming his lust louder than anything else could.
The blonde kissed his forehead again before pulling himself almost entirely out and driving back in, rolling his hips to hit the raven's prostate. Sasuke saw stars again and again as the muscular man drove in again and again.
When Naruto felt himself getting close he rubbed his hand up and down the pale man's shaft, playing with the slit until he couldn't control it anymore and gave up any attempt at sophistication and just pumped Sasuke in time with his thrusts.
It wasn't long before Sasuke called out in warning, "I'm gonna-"
His muscle's clenched tightly around Naruto as he came forcing the blonde over the edge with him, he felt the shudders as all strength left his body and Naruto managed to pull himself out with a wet noise before he rolled over and collapsed beside him.
He pulled Sasuke to him and gently kissed him once more before they both dozed off.
--
Sasuke woke with a groan and rolled over resting his head on something warm and hard. There was a masculine chuckle and he started awake, he sat up quickly feeling the pain in his backside and something dry and disgusting down his front.
"It might hurt a bit for a little while, a nice hot bath might help," Naruto offered helpfully.
"Mmmm god that sounds good right now," Sasuke told him stretching slowly, wincing at the strange pains.
He had thought, somewhat hopefully, that the blonde man might join him in the bath. But when he saw the size of the tub that hope was dashed, Sasuke had a relaxing bath, dressed himself and wandered out to the kitchen.
"I'm afraid all I have to offer you is instant ramen," Naruto told him sheepishly, "I wasn't really expecting company.
"That's alright dobe," the Uchiha grinned tearing open a packet and adding the boiling water.
They sat down at the table eating in silence, Sasuke watched the blonde inhale the ramen with a certain amount of disbelief.
"So…uh…. How long are you here for?" the Uchiha asked tearing his eyes away from the somewhat mesmerising sight.
The blonde smirked, "Two more weeks."
Sasuke felt himself grinning, "Will I see you again then?"
"Well you already have a spare key," Naruto reminded him chuckling.
"That reminds me, what did you tell the lady at the desk? She gave me the oddest look," the raven asked remembering.
"That you were my boyfriend."
"We'll see dobe, we'll see."
Let me know what you thought, you know what I'm like with lemons ;