Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. KH belongs to their respective owners

The fact I don't know what I want in my life, doesn't mean I don't want to keep living. I'm grateful that I'm able to live until this day to be myself, because I'm becoming one with my... other self.

That day, I've been thinking; who am I? What am I? Why am I connected to the boy named Sora? I don't know at first. But I know it now. He is a Keyblade Bearer. And I am his nobody. Doesn't that mean... I'm him.

I don't know what to do with my life. I don't even dream to be something like people normally, or teenager at my age. Although so, I'm not foolishly going throw away my life easily. That's why I kept living, though I don't know the purpose of my life.

I merely do what were told. Even though I knew I've been fooled all along. What am I exactly? Just a chained puppet for a big mastermind? A shadow of someone? I don't know.

My life has been black and white. Funny, my eyes can see every color like; red, pink, orange, blue, green and the other colors. But everything become colorless at the end, like the the day I was born.

I can't feel my existence or reason of living. Which one is real? Is this the reality? Or just a dream? Nothing can be felt despite I continued walking on my way like people normally. Where am I going to walk anyway? I don't even know where my destination is. I just walk and walk like there's no end of it. Just keep walking until I find the answer I want. But it wasn't the answer I hoped for. The truth caused a hole in my heart. Maybe, I shouldn't have to know who I am. The fact couldn't be changed after all.

I'm tired of everything. I wish I can go home. But there's no home for me. There is no even a place for shelter. I'm just heading nowhere. I couldn't move on from all I've experienced.

The frustration kept continuing in my head. As if I wanted to escape from this chain. The envy of watching the other kids playing happily didn't get out of my mind. It is still lingering in my head. Why do I feel envy? I can't be one of them, can I? Even if I can, it was a delusion. A never ending delusion.

I lost faith to the people in the organization, including my best friend. Trust and faith will soon vanish when you put a trust and faith on your friend. I even lost faith to myself because of that. Just like how I lost my purpose of living. I guess, I'm on my own. We can never be together and eat ice cream again.

I am just a Nobody. I don't deserve a happy ending after what I've been through. I can only dream for it, longing a never come true wish. I have to throw it away at the end. Hoping someone to understand the pain I have. Because we weren't never meant to be exist at the first place.

Yeah, my life sucks. Because…

The life I've always wanted for was never meant to be there after all.

-Roxas

I intended that Roxas blames Sora, Ventus, Namine and Xion for causing his misfortune and hurts, but he chooses not to at the end (because he has to vanish because of Sora and Sora did not to realize his hurt from the start, since Roxas has Ventus heart {which already hurt the moment Ventus's heart joined Sora's} meaning Ventus's hurt inside him made Roxas bears his hurt, Namine for helping Sora's awakening and Xion... well everyone already that she has to hurt him in order to return to Sora). But I didn't put it for a reason; It makes as if Roxas has grudges against people that connected to Sora and Sora himself.

And the last line about the life Roxas wanted for refer to his desire to stay with Axel and Xion forever. Well, you know the bitter truth; he has to give up his desire and return to Sora.

I've written this like long time ago. I don't wanna to delete it, that is why I publish it.

Okay, review please (critiques also welcome)!