Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe or any of its characters used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. No infringement is intended and no profits are being made from this fic.
Pepper was seated on the living room couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table, and her eyes focused on the movie she was watching.
Tony was lying horizontally on the space beside her, his feet dangling over the armrest of the couch, his head on her lap and facing her stomach.
He was talking to her...or rather, to Pepper's stomach.
"...you'll ask me for sure and here I am, already giving you ample warning that I will refuse. Sorry, baby. You cannot marry Peter Parker. He's much too old for you. He's like your big brother. So, no." Tony smiled apologetically. "Don't give me that attitude. You're 4 months in the womb and you're already snarking. I swear. You've been hanging out too much with Uncle Jim and Uncle Happy."
Tony paused and cocked his ear, listening. "Happy? Yeah, yeah. He'll supervise your self-defense training. Between you and me, I'm kind of scared to let Romanoff teach you on the off chance that she turns you against me. That and you might catch the superhero bug hanging out with the Avengers. Do we really need another hero in the family?"
Tony looked up at Pepper who was barely paying him any attention, solely focused on her movie.
Tony looked back to Pepper's stomach. "Yeah, mom and dad say no. That's final. No avenging for you. But you know, sweetie, you can still do a lot of good with Stark Industries. Mom will teach you all the ropes and you'll be saving lives—the safe way—in no time. Unless you want to do something else."
Tony frowned. "What?" he incredulously asked the small bulge in Pepper's stomach. "An actor? You want to—your grandpa is rolling in his grave right now. Another stark who doesn't want to be CEO. Of course, I'll let you be an actor if that's what you want. But all you've known in your months of being a fetus are these romcoms your mother keeps on watching, so it makes sense that being an actor is the first thing that you think of. But let me tell you, one day with me in the workshop, I'll have you throwing up equations. But let's not decide on anything now, okay, princess? You still have like... 5 months of gestation to go, 3 years of preschool, not to mention the 12 years of horror that is grade school and high school, and then on to college. You have all the time in the world to figure out what you want to be. Live your life, spread your wings, jump—"
"Sorry to interrupt Baby and Daddy Time, boss," came the all familiar Scottish accent of FRIDAY, "but an Agent Phil Coulson is on line 1 for you."
"Did you tell him my consultation hours?" Tony asked his AI. He turned to Pepper's stomach again. "See, daddy's only available between 4 and 8—" Tony cut himself off, his eyes slowly widening.
He swung his legs off the armrest and he sat up. "FRIDAY, who did you say the name of the agent was again?"
Tony was met with silence. FRIDAY did not reply.
Tony stood, his skin suddenly tingling with unease. FRIDAY always answered. And if she wasn't answering now, it meant someone had managed to get past her.
Tony took Pepper by the arm, pulling her up to her feet. He looked around warily.
Pepper looked at him confused and worried. A few seconds ago he was babbling nonstop to the baby, like he always did every night, and suddenly he was tense.
"What is it?" asked Pepper, looking around herself.
"I don't know. I'm not... sure." Tony flicked his wrist and a moment later an armored gauntlet came flying out, encasing itself around his hand.
He could be overreacting. It could be nothing.
Maybe FRIDAY had a scheduled update you forgot about, Tony thought. Or it was something else entirely and someone broke through the firewall.
The elevator hummed and Tony saw that the lights indicating the levels in the building were blinking, telling him that someone was riding up to the floor where he and Pepper were.
"Tony," said Pepper.
"Stick close behind me." Tony held his left arm out to the side, shielding Pepper and their baby.
Up and up the lights blinked until...
Ding.
The elevator doors opened and out came—
"Phil?" whispered a shocked Pepper.
"Hi."
Phil Coulson stood in their living room, dressed in a black suit and a packet in his hand—a sight not unlike that of the last time he and Pepper had met.
Coulson assessed the situation. He noted the defensive stance Tony was taking; one armored hand and an outstretched, protective arm told him all he needed to know.
"Sorry for scaring you," said Coulson casually, a small apologetic smile on his face. "Your new AI wouldn't let me in. Said something about coming back tomorrow between 4 and 8, but with the news I have, there might not be a tomorrow." He took a few steps forward and Tony aimed his gauntlet at him
Coulson stopped. "I should have called. I know. But I was in space. And signal was a bitch to set up."
"Who are you?" asked Tony, trying to keep his voice level and firm. "And what are you doing wearing Phil Coulson's body?"
"Easy, Stark." Coulson crouched down and then slid the packet over to the couple. Then, he stood up, his hands raised. "Everything you need to know is in that file. About my death, my resurrection, and most importantly, the mission."
Tony eyed the packet. For all he knew it could be an explosive, waiting for him and Pepper to get close enough before detonating.
He looked at the Coulson imposter again.
"You a life model decoy?" Tony asked, not bothering to lower his gauntlet. "Pretty convincing for an android. I would've made a few tweaks, recalibrate the voice box vibrations, fix the doe eyes a little bit. Who sent you?"
"I did."
Pepper and Tony turned around. Nick Fury emerged from the balcony, his trench coat billowing behind him in the night air as he walked in. He stopped to stand beside Coulson.
"Does nobody knock anymore?" Tony complained, lowering his gauntlet. His outstretched arm snaked its way around Pepper's waist. "What the hell, Nick? You sent an android to my home? A Coulsonator? That's sick and mean and frankly—"
Fury cocked his only eye at Tony. "Oh, he's real. He's 100% real."
Coulson turned to Fury. "Well, not really a hundred percent." He raised his left hand and wiggled his fingers.
Tony didn't understand the significance of the gesture but Fury said, "Right, right. 85% maybe."
"An argument could be made for 90," shrugged Coulson.
"Is there a point to this?" asked Tony impatiently, annoyed at how at ease the two men were being given the circumstances.
"The point is: Coulson lives," stated Fury.
Coulson took the packet from the floor and handed it to Tony.
"Like I said, everything you need to know is in here."
Tony wordlessly took the file, too dumbstruck to remember that he didn't like being handed things.
...
"Congratulations," said Coulson to Pepper, gesturing to her small baby bump.
"Th- thank you," said Pepper hesitantly, still unsure of how to react. She remembered Tony breaking the news to her after the Battle of New York. She had cried over Phil's death, they went to the funeral, they toasted drinks in his memory. And he was alive all this time?
And it wasn't even faking a death. He really died. That's not... That's... Pepper inhaled sharply. "I need to sit down."
Coulson took Pepper by the hand and escorted her back to the sofa.
Tony looked up from the file he was reading. He pointed a finger at Coulson. "Please don't touch my wife. I don't want whatever you have infecting her. Your alien blood and all that."
Pepper gave Tony a pointed look before apologizing to Coulson. "He's having a hard time dealing with this. We all are."
Coulson chuckled. "I completely understand."
Tony finally came over to them, studying the resurrected agent for the umpteenth time. "So... You died."
Coulson clasped his hands together and nodded. "Yes."
"And Fury used alien blood to bring you back."
"Mm hmm."
"And you just decided now was the best time to break the news?"
"That about sums it up."
With his gauntlet free hand, Tony socked Coulson in the jaw. Coulson stumbled against the coffee table.
"Tony!" cried Pepper, standing to help Coulson to his feet.
Coulson waved Pepper away. "No, no. I deserved that." He ran a hand over his mouth.
"YEARS!" cried Tony, "You've been alive for years and you didn't think to call and say 'Oh, hey. I've resurrected from the dead! Fury's alien blood made Jesus out of me."
Tony turned to Fury who was silently watching them. "And you and your secrets! Who else is alive? Is Maximoff alive? Did you tell Wanda her brother's not actually dead or are you gonna spring that up on her too?"
"Tony," pleaded Pepper. She placed a hand on his arm, trying to get him to calm down.
"I set up a charity for you!" Tony pointed at Coulson. "I... I… We mourned for you! You must have had a great laugh. You and him," he gestured to Fury. "Dead guys stick together, huh? And now that you need my help with another alien invasion, you decide to show up?"
"I don't need to tell you that these are desperate times, Stark," said Fury.
"What? You think I'm just gonna welcome you back with my arms wide open, and we can get back to the good old days? You know what," Tony moved a few steps away. Coulson followed him. "I'm gonna call Rogers. I'm gonna use the freaking phone he gave me and call him, tell him about all of this. He can bring Romanoff and Barton and they can all help me beat you up."
"I'm sorry," said Coulson, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder, stilling the latter's frantic pacing. Despite Tony's anger, he didn't shrug the hand away.
"I'm not gonna make any excuses," continued Coulson. "I apologize for keeping this a secret. I'm grateful, I am. For the Avengers, for you, for everything. But you read the packet. You know what we're up against. I'd really like you to hold off on kicking my ass until we deal with this mission."
Tony raised an eyebrow. "Are you seriously asking me to make a rain check on our fight?
"I am."
"Fine," grumbled Tony. "You better not die, Coulson, you hear me? Or I'm gonna resurrect you a second time only to kill you myself."
Coulson nodded curtly. "Understood." Before he could say anything else, Tony suddenly pulled Coulson in for a tight hug.
Coulson's eyes widened for a second and then he returned the embrace in kind. It wasn't fixing anything, he knew that. This was Stark after all. But this was a start.
One down, five more to go, Coulson thought.
"Boys," whispered an exasperated Pepper with a shake of her head.
When the two men pulled away, Tony smirked at Coulson. "So... were there hot cellists in heaven or...?"
"Focus, Stark."