Disclaimer: I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely my interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.

Warnings: This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers.

Author's Note(s): This piece was written for the Houses Competition on the FFN Forums.

The Houses Competition Information:
House: Hufflepuff
Category: Golden Era (Post-Hogwarts)
House Prompt: If anybody knew what he/she was currently doing, they'd try to stop her/him.
Prompts: Two is better than one
Word Count: 2417

-= LP =-

Love Like Devil's Snare

-= LP =-

"You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing."

– E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

-= LP =-

The night was still young when people started leaving the dinner that Hermione had arranged for the DA. It was rare that all of the twenty-six surviving members were in town and free at the same time anymore. More than a few of them had careers which had them traveling the world either frequently or near-continuously. A few of them stayed in the country and thrived there. Watching as Hermione fussed over Harry before leaving with Ron, Luna even supposed that the ones who stayed were happy. With the exit of the newlyweds, the group had been reduced to only five people: Harry, Lee, Katie, Neville, and Luna herself.

"Sorry about that," Harry said as he returned to the table. He had been moving gingerly all evening, after arriving late. Luna noted the bags under his eyes but he still looked better rested than those first few months after the Battle of Hogwarts. She was a bit surprised that he was still here, but also not. Harry loved spending time with his friends, even Zacharias who was a git most of the time. "She just worries, you know. It's gonna give her gray hair."

"Well, you do attract trouble, Harry," Katie ribbed good-naturedly. "Nothing as impressive as a Dark Lord, but last time she arranged one of these things, you spent it at St. Mungo's recovering from—oh, what was it again?"

"Jarvey attack," Neville supplied, not taking his eyes off of Harry as the raven-haired man shifted in his seat as if getting comfortable was difficult. His frown was eerily similar to how Dame Longbottom looked at anyone putting their elbows on the table, but he didn't comment. Lee ran a hand through his dreadlocks as he gave a laugh at the memory.

"It only attacked him because Harry tried to talk it into submission rather than just stunning it. You'd think a fully-trained auror would know better!"

"Why wouldn't he be able talk it into surrendering?" Luna asked, earning a thankful grin from the auror in question. Luna loved the DA, but she was forever going to despair over some of the members' lack of awareness of their own species-bias. All of them had fought against the same bias as it applied to humans, but they refused to see how that same mindset could possibly apply to the various non-human species. If she had been the same uncertain child that had joined their group, she wouldn't have spoken up, but Harry had a way of bringing out the strength in people. "A Jarvey may be rude, but they are still capable of thinking. Even if they weren't, Harry is more than capable of subduing a creature without resorting to spells which may traumatize it and prevent its rehabilitation. The only creatures he seems to have trouble with are Weasleys of any variety. They're persistent."

"Speaking of Weasleys," Katie interrupted before Lee could respond. The brunette leaned back in her chair, swirling her wine as her eyes assessed their most-famous friend. "George mentioned that Ginny's still pining over our favorite seeker. Are you ever going to put the girl out of her misery?"

"Er, I'm not—that is…"

"What I'm sure Harry is trying to say," Neville spoke up when Harry shot him a desperate look, "is that he's tried telling Ginny to not wait for him. Any misery she is feeling due to pining is her own fault, and it is rather rude and unfeeling to assign him responsibility for her emotional responses to things. It also undermines her autonomy as a fully functional adult, so doubly rude."

"Did I really say all that?"

"Not in so many words," Neville agreed. The blond gave a cheeky grin that Luna knew he had to have picked up from Harry. "And your version had more slurring and cussing. I've cleaned it up some, you know, since I was already taking out the lyrics to 'Harry the Eighth' and 'A Wizard's Staff'. Do you really mind?"

"Well, no, but people are gonna talk," Harry replied. Neville shook his head before hiding his face in his glass. Luna knew what had his ears turning pink—she had heard the rumors herself, despite spending so much time out of the country chasing her creatures. People did love to gossip about the Man-Who-Conquered, and Harry did spend a lot of his free time with Neville. They already spent a lot of their professional time together, having been assigned partners since early in their training, much to Ron's irritation. Probably nobody had the nerve to mention the rumors to Harry yet, at least not bluntly enough that Harry had picked up on the innuendo. Luna loved Harry dearly, but the man was just as oblivious now as he had been as a student.

"Oh, my sweet summer-child," Katie mocked. The ex-chaser leaned forward with a shark-like smirk. She set her wineglass down before folding her hands on the table before her. Of course it was going to be one of the Fab Three who finally informed Harry of his supposed love affair with his partner. Luna glanced at Neville when he shook his head at the woman in warning. Lee's eyes sparkled as he sensed a joke to be made—once a prankster, always a prankster. "Don't you realize that they already do? The gossip mill is simply gagging with speculation about your torrid affair with poor Neville here. My personal favorite rumor has Devil's Snare."

Luna blinked at the woman. How would they involve—oh. She blinked again as she looked contemplatively between the two men who had featured heavily in any thoughts she had about relationships over the years. It certainly was an interesting idea, and Neville apparently agreed judging by how his eyes were dilating even as the pink began to stain his neck in addition to his ears. Her mind raced with the idea—could the plant even be trained to be safe?

"Katie! You can't just say things like that!"

"Oh, that is interesting," Katie purred. She shifted so that her chin rested on her palms. "You aren't denying the possibility of shagging the great Snake-Killer. Is he blushing like that because the Devil's Snare story's true or because he wants it to be?"

"Katie," Harry whined, "you can't say things like that. People will take it the wrong way."

"So you're not dating Neville? Not even a little bit?"

"Er, he's dating Susan?" Harry offered, refusing to look in Neville's direction. Neville made a choking noise. Lee took Neville's glass out of his hand before helpfully thumping his back. Katie covered her mouth with both her hands but it couldn't stop the sound of her giggles. Once she finally got ahold of herself, Katie's declaration was triumphant.

"But darling, two are better than one!"

Harry turned bright pink as he sputtered silently in response. Luna had to admit that it was an even better idea than the Devil's Snare. Susan would never go along with the idea of anything that didn't involve Hannah, but it was very interesting that Harry wasn't protesting the idea outright. Eventually, Neville decided to rescue his partner from dying of embarrassment.

"So, um, why exactly do you think I'm dating Susan?"

"You know—that thing with—" Harry bit off his explanation when Katie slapped her hand over Lee's mouth so that he wouldn't interrupt whatever exploit Harry was about to share. Even Harry's glare didn't make Katie look any less eager for the information. Luna heaved a sigh, having a feeling what Harry was referencing. She'd be lying if that hadn't also factored a bit into her crush on Neville. Two lovers really was better than one, in her experience, even if it did complicate everything more than just a little.

"Harry, that was one time!"

"But she's been—" Harry made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a growl as he glared at the bread bowl sitting innocently in the middle of the table. Luna was struck by how very much he resembled the civet at her last camp, who had a habit of tripping over its own paws trying to keep up with the guard dogs. Harry mutely shook his head, forcing Neville to throw his hands up in frustration before prompting him.

"Yes?"

"She's been coming around the office, asking if you wanted to go to dinner."

"Oh, Harry," Luna interrupted what was truly becoming an awkward conversation to watch. Katie and Lee both looked like their eyes were going to pop out of their heads. They were clearly not going to be any help with making these two stop dancing around each other. "Sue's been trying to work up the nerve to ask Hannah out. So Sue drags Neville along to the Leaky in the hopes that his infamous courage will infect her by proximity. It never works, though. Neville's as big a coward as Susan, when there's not a Dark Lord to sass."

"Luna," Neville complained, unconsciously mimicking Harry's tone earlier, "you cannot just say things like that!"

"Well, then tell Harry how you want to sweep him off his feet already," Luna countered, "before the rest of us die from the unresolved sexual tension. Oh, and thump Lee on the back while you're at it. I think he's forgotten to breathe."

"Luna, you can't just—"

"Oh, for the love of all that is holy!" Katie shouted. The slam of her hands on the table punctuated the exclamation. Lee helped by banging his head on the table lightly. Katie waved her hands as she proceeded to rant. "You three! Look, since we're pointing out the bloody obvious tonight—under pain of Hermione cursing us, by the way, so be grateful—all of you are gone on each other. Harry, Neville is not dating the hot lesbian couple, despite having what I'm assuming was an equally hot threesome once in the past. Neville, clearly Harry is madly jealous of who he thinks you love but is stupidly respecting your 'personal autonomy' to let you have at it. And both you boys have completely missed that you're probably the only reason we even see Luna at these things as it's the only time she can consistently ogle the eye candy. Make like bunnies already, damnit."

"George is going to love this memory," Lee commented in the silence that followed Katie's words. "Though he may curse you just as badly as Hermione when he finds out about this little intervention of yours. Do you know how much he stood to make if you had waited even a week? And Hermione had money on them figuring it out on their own. I would not want to be you when they corner you, lovely."

"Wait—what? You guys have been betting on my love life?"

"Well, duh," Katie replied, picking her glass. She tipped it at Harry before taking a sip. She smacked her lips satisfactorily afterwards. "We've been placing bets for years, sweetie. For a while, most of us were convinced that you'd end up with Malfoy—Draco, that is. Lucius wasn't the favorite for the cross-generation crowd, after all. Parvati messed with a lot people, especially when Lavender had that thing with Won-Won—"

"Why would Lavender dating Ron matter for my love life?"

"Harry, dear, you can't interrupt if you want the whole story," chided Katie as she relaxed back in her seat. Neville leaned forward to see her more clearly around Lee, who was looking like he was going to start banging his head on the table again. Luna itched to smack the smug woman in the arm like Hermione did to both Ron and Harry. As if sensing the threat, Katie shifted slightly closer to Lee. It would do nothing against Harry who looked like he might throw something across the table at her.

"So let me see if I understand this," Neville stated in a calm voice that made Harry settle back in his chair. Sensing that Neville was about to take care of this, Luna relaxed as well. "Our closest friends have been placing bets concerning our lives not just recently but for years, including threats of violence against each other if someone interferes?"

"It wasn't that bad," Katie protested. Lee nodded his agreement even as he inched away from the blond. "It's just harmless fun."

"Then why did you hide it?" Neville asked still using that dangerously calm voice. Both Katie and Lee paled as they exchanged a worried glance. Luna could imagine what their answer was going to be. "I will tell you why I think you did it, and you can confirm the validity of it. You all hid it because you knew that if we knew about this pool, then we would stop you, because it is very disrespectful and manipulative of people who trusted you to have more interest in them than entertainment value."

"Well, when you say it like that, of course it sounds bad," Katie tried. Neville's expression was flat. Then he set his napkin on the table and stood. Figuring out what Neville was doing, Luna stood as well and moved in unison to pull Harry from his seat. For his part, Harry didn't protest their manhandling, even going as far as wrapping an arm around her waist as Neville chivvied them towards the door. "Wait—where are you going? You can't just walk out—"

"Actually," Neville interrupted without looking back, "seeing as we're fully-functional adults with our own emotional responses to things, we are allowed to walk out on people—even friends—with whom we are angry. As to where we're going, because we are friends, I will tell you what you apparently missed so that you could see how many shades of pink you could turn him: Harry clearly did not get fully treated from the skirmish we had shortly before shift end, despite saying that he could get to the medi-witch without supervision. So I'm taking my idiot partner to get checked up."

"What about afterwards?"

Harry stopped letting them move forward. Then the auror turned carefully to look at the pair still sitting at the shared table. His grin made Luna's stomach flutter with the potential of it.

"Well, Katie, I don't know about these two," Harry said as if sharing a secret. "But I'd really like to see if two really are better than one."

Katie was still sputtering in disbelief when the door closed behind them.