"Thank-you for coming, Finn," said Truth Field Princess. It was formal robes today in floral-printed silk. His old friend had grown out her hair a bit and now wore it in a long braid from the crown of her head to the small of her back. It was a surprisingly attractive look. Of course, on the flipside, he had the typical stony faces of her advisors to deal with. They'd never liked Finn and took a dim view of their princess's infatuation with him.
Smiling, Finn responded, "that's why I was chosen, Sakura. Your troubles are mine. How may I help you?" Turning, the pretty princess started walking. When Finn was at her side, she said, "it's the lords of the bandit lands, Finn. They're taking advantage of the troubles. As you know, my people eschewed weapons. We typically retire into our towns when threatened..." Like Nadia's peeps, Sakura's people relied on forcefields to keep the wilderness at bay. Unfortunately, food still had to get harvested and transported, and they couldn't protect their farmers' fields with forcefields.
Finn listened with interest to everything his old friend had to say, absorbing her problems and concerns like a sponge. It was honestly a little disconcerting to Sakura because she could scarcely reconcile this mature figure with the carefree boy she remembered. This Finn observed all the forms, doing nothing to offend her touchy ministers. And that made him distant and distinctly not fun. The princess bore the matter in good grace as they concluded the conversation. "I'm now handling this," he told her. "What will you do," asked the vizier? With a shrug, Finn replied, "don't know yet. I'll head west and see if I can talk to them." When the vizier might have shouted at him, Sakura merely said, "be careful, Finn. You're no longer superhuman..." With a smile, Finn took his leave of her.
The big man went out to the airfield to Nadia's ship. His lady was sitting in a chair, supervising, as the crew did maintenance on the massive machine. Kissing her lush lips, he asked, "steering clear of trouble?" With a smile, Nadia said, "I got tired of lectures." Kneeling beside her, he asked, "we settle on a name, yet?" "Vladmir," she replied. "Talia suggested it." Finn smiled. He was happy to see the two getting along. He still hoped to relieve the witch of her unpleasant burden some day. Moving on, she said, "my scientists were intrigued by your thoughts on the Tesla barrier and the molten sea." They had actually been thunderstruck that such an ignorant savage could have come up with such a brilliant idea. The cyborg-hottie said, "Shoko's selling it to the fire-elemental nobles..."
There was a lot to recommend the plan to Phoebe's peeps. Finn's idea would see the heat loss from Ooo's molten innards get stabilized and protect the elementals from the cold. It was another brilliant piece of intuitive action from their husband, and that was starting to rebuild trust among Ooo's royalty. Her husband was well beyond the warlord phase and moving to secure a legacy as a good and just ruler.
"I may have to go across the ocean to the mainland," said Finn. He was more careful now and less prone to stupid risks. Frowning, Nadia glanced to her airplane, now in a state of disassembly. He'd have to take a boat. He knew what she was thinking. He had a handicap there. "As long as I don't see the water, I'll be ok," he said. He'd just have to stay below decks. Nadia sighed heavily, finding herself regretting her rash decision to vote for Finn as Warlord of Ooo. He deserved rest, but it was clear he wasn't going to get it any time soon. Part of her would have told him to stay and send someone in his stead. Unfortunately that seemed not to be in the cards. "When do you go," she asked? "Tomorrow," Finn replied. He didn't sound happy.
The Grid-Face Princess had come to accept that her husband was no longer the man he had been and never would be again. He was an older, more thoughtful man even without the nanites in his blood. Softly, she said, "you don't need to worry for me. I'll be here where it's safe..." It was a useless statement. He would be thinking of her regardless. He'd be thinking of all of them. Rising, he headed off to talk to Billy. They had plans to make.
Sunrise found Finn the King walking in Sakura's garden, his mind far away. The previous day had been a long one, what with his need to plan the expedition to the mainland, his excursion to see the factory that Sakura's people used to assemble some of the goodies they were shipping west to the other kingdoms, and the light workout he'd managed to sneak in. Now he had to get some things taken care of back home before he could take ship for the mainland. He was King, and he still had business with the Privy Council to manage. Bonnie was responsible for a lot of the day-to-day stuff, but Finn still had to keep abreast of things and make some of the key decisions.
Now, as his watch chimed, the big man took out the three gadgets that Nadia had built for him. He tossed the floating antenna into the air, where it hovered and jigged around, scanning for the signal from Bonnie's satellite. At the same time, he pulled out the holo-projector and flicked it on. Last came the headset. This was a private conversation, and, much as he trusted Sakura, he was alone in a land where she had all the power.
Bonnie and Betty were there immediately, their beautiful faces lighting up the garden. Seeing the pair of them, he felt a pang of loss. He hated this. He hated being here, when he would much rather have been there with them. "Honey," burbled Bonnie. It came out sounding a little plaintive. It was dark in the Candy Kingdom, and they were both burning the midnight oil to talk to him. It helped not at all that he knew Bonnie was kind of struggling with Rosie. Their youngest was a handful, and Bonnie had always been an indifferent parent. "Babe," Finn breathed. He greeted Betty with a smile and a pleasant, "evening, Bets... How's Ranna?" "She's fine, honey," Betty murmured. Ragnhild was next. "Rags," Finn greeted her. "How's my old boyfriend," she teased him? "Good," he replied. "Your new one's fine too." She gave him a radiant smile.
There was an awkward pause. None of them were happy about this absence. Finn moved them on. They needed sleep. Ragnhild started things off with a discussion about the proposed Treasury of Ooo. After twenty years of raising a fairly big family on a shoe-string, Finn was keenly aware of the cost of things. If that wasn't enough, the unpleasantness surrounding the business of raising an army to protect the kingdoms he served and the troubles with obtaining fuel for the Tesla Barrier had made the big man keenly aware that he wouldn't get far in his job without money. He was a King without a Kingdom of his own. There was an obvious solution. He would have to levy taxes on the kingdoms and their Royal Families. They would have to kick in a little bit to get this thing off the ground and keep business going.
Of course he hardly expected them to be excited about the idea.
Ragnhild didn't disappoint him on that score. She had a host of complaints to relay. The Wood Nymphs of the Grey Forest professed that they were broke. The Grid-Face people felt they ought to be paid for what they'd already done, and Alexia was incensed that she was expected to both take care of the population of Elbownian refugees in her kingdom and pay a tithe on top of it. That said nothing of the Royals who'd sat out the war. The Privy Council had come close to blows. Which Finn had, more or less, expected. Trouble was, there was a real need here.
They needed to deploy more of the War-Bots and their storage lockers. Right now, they had only enough to take care of the local kingdoms. On top of that, Finn had a real fear of the flying machines his father's alien allies had brought last time. They could take out his army from above without his guys getting off a shot. He needed flying weapons of his own. The destruction done in the Elbow Kingdom needed fixed if they were ever to get Bathilde's peeps back in their homes. The grasslands needed to be restored if they were ever going to get food production back on an even keel. There were problems everywhere, and sometimes it seemed there just was no way to fix them all.
As he pondered the answer to the problem, Finn turned to Bonnie and motioned for her to go next. With a heavy sigh, Bonnie told him, "it's gotten to cannibalism in Wildberry Kingdom, Finn." Finn's jaw came unhinged. He knew that Wildberry's peeps had an unhealthy obsession with meat, but he'd hardly have expected this. Nodding, Bonnie said, "Cherry's agents went in to see what was going on. Some of them... Some of them died, Finn. The survivors came back with some pretty horrible stories." Betty jumped in now, saying, "things are a mess, babe. You getting Ingrid preggers kind of comes at a bad time. We need a general... To go take care of business. Things are falling apart."
They had problems in Maudie's kingdom. The remaining nobles were bickering and vying for the throne. A couple of the more brazen barons had tried re-annexing the Duchy of Nuts from the Wood Nymphs. There were rumblings of a potential coup in Muscle Kingdom. Noemi and Alexia were both seeing a rise in bandits on their borders as the unaffiliated baronies flexed their muscles against kingdoms they saw as weak. The Lich had left them a broken mess, and Wildberry had basically smashed the whole works before they could finish glueing it back together.
They could see their husband struggling, and Cherry had militated against bringing this to him. Betty had insisted. This wasn't going to get better if they hid things. They'd hidden far too much from their husband already. Though there were things that they likely never would be able to tell their King, they couldn't keep up the lies. It would eventually destroy their family.
"Ok," said Finn. "Call a conference in Muscle Kingdom. Invite the unaffiliated barons." "They'll have to cross Connie's Kingdom," burbled Ragnhild. "That's the point, Rags," said Finn. They wouldn't be bringing armies with them. Not and risk tangling with the Vampire Court. They would be bringing maybe a couple of bodyguards and nothing more. "Ok," said Bonnie. "I'm kinda' not seeing what this buys us..." With a chuckle, Finn said, "I'm gonna' put on a show of force, babe. Then I'm'a give those guys an offer. Two-hundred thousand coins up front and a hundred-thousand a year each buys them into the Kingdom of Ooo. They come under my protection. If not... well, they can deal with any alien problems themselves."
Bonnie's jaw came unhinged. That was extortion! That just wasn't how things were done on the Privy Council! Finn shrugged eloquently when she raised those issues. The Privy Council had been getting shaken down on a regular basis by some of the bandit-lords. Noemi's people sometimes paid ten-percent of their yearly harvest of grapes and wine just to make the top bandits go away. The old ways of doing business might have been nicer, but they were looking down the barrel of destruction. Something had to change. Finn moved the conversation on. It was time to sign off. "I want work on the castle plans accelerated," he said. All three women frowned at him. They were short on money, and he wanted to build a new castle, when Bonnie had a perfectly good castle already.
Calmly, Finn said, "we've already had this conversation, Peebles." He was gentle and sweet of tone, but there was a firmness there. Bonnie flushed and glanced away. "It'll be as you say," she murmured. That was that. Betty, who had been examining their husband's face in all its minute details, worrying at the white beard hair, and the other signs of wear on their husband, told him, "I'll give your love to our children..." "...and to each other," he agreed. "Love you all." Breaking the link, he pocketed the gadgets and turned to go.
He found Sakura standing there. Only this time she wasn't wearing her formal state robes. This time it was a soft yukata, suggesting that maybe she'd just rolled out of bed and come down to see him. "Are they well," she asked? "As well as can be expected," Finn replied. "They miss their husband." It was a subtle reminder that he was married. Finn came up the stairs towards her. Stepping in his way, she said, "they aren't the only ones who miss you." Finn flushed. Fingers stroking his chest, she said, "I'd like you to think about something..." Shaking his head, he said, "Sakura... I'm... I live on the far side of the world. I can't. This is already hard enough for me. I'm... I'm forced to travel, when I'd rather be with my wives and my babies." It was the truth, and she well knew it. He couldn't give her anything but the truth.
Reaching out as she began to cry, Finn hugged her. "I can't do this," he whispered. "I don't like that I'm hurting you, but even if I had the choice, I won't lie to you about this. Our fates lie apart." Releasing her, the big man turned and went up into the palace. He needed to gather up his gear and head down to the docks. Sheila would be waiting on him.
The King found his firstborn having a conference of his own. Billy was just months into his unhappy new life. He was in the same place Finn had been twenty years back, with one wife patiently trying to make things work in spite of the ugliness that had been thrust upon them while her co-spouse raised hell. Only Billy had double the trouble.
Noemi had been a player as long as Finn had known her. For sweet-sixteen, she'd treated herself to a gang-bang with a half-dozen giants out of Warrior Kingdom. If there was a girl who was sketchier than Breakfast, Noemi was that woman. She was as likely to be caught banging some other lady's guy as finding her own. And she absolutely did not get that she was married with a baby on the way now. This was still a lark for her, and she still behaved like she had the upper hand. Billy had no choice but to love her. Hell, Abeiuwa was just as chemically shackled to the Purple Princess as Billy was. At the same time, the minute Noemi started trying to deploy that influence, it would destroy Billy's family. Finn prayed that she would finally grow up before it was too late.
Abeiuwa the Princess of the Southern Jungles was complex. She had a brain almost as big as Nadia's. She was ambitious to the point of being money-grubbing. At the same time she was touchy and self-conscious of perceptions that she was 'the barbarian princess'. There had been times Finn pitied her because so much of her life had been about living to other people's perceptions. She was a mess right now, and that caused her to lash out. And right now Billy was taking the brunt.
"Abeiuwa, I'm well aware of the commitment we made," Billy growled. He sounded like he was on the ragged edge of patience. Finn found himself silently urging his boy to be patient and calm in spite of whatever provocation his wayward wife was giving him now. It never helped both sides to turn to anger. Fortunately Billy managed to find his inner peace. "Baby," he said, "the world's burning. There's a hundred threats trying to reignite the war. You are my home, and I need to put these fires out before they threaten my home." There was a pause, and then the young man said, "I know you're scared and hurting, baby. It hurts me that I'm not there with you to support you. I'm'a... I'm'a get home fast as I can..." Then, "yes, baby... I'll be careful. I love you. Get some sleep, baby..."
When he hung up, Billy called out to his father, saying, "almost ready, dad." Finn might have known that his son had felt him come up. Between Billy's symbiotic state with the remnant of the Ice Tiara and the lingering remnant of the Quicksilver Curse on Finn, the younger man could often tell his father was coming through the door before Finn had even reached his doorstep. Finn stepped into the room to find his son had his gear already packed. As the young hero packed away his phone charger, Finn said, "I'm proud of you, Bill. I don't say that enough..." Billy nodded, but he was clearly distracted.
"Talk to me," said the King. The response was immediate. "Why are you here, dad," he asked? "I could have come alone..." He knew the answer. His tone told Finn he knew. "I can handle this," he said. "You don't have to worry..." Finn laughed. He laughed long and hard at his son's angry irritation. Subsiding the big man said, "you've got a lot to learn about being a dad, Bill. C'mon. Let's get this done so we can both get home."
Shouldering his gear, the younger man joined his father on the long schlep down through the courtyards and byways of Sakura's palace to the Water-Gate where their ride awaited. Finn had been glad to find that there was a Lamprey Folk submarine in the area to carry him to the mainland. At least he'd been happy until he found out just who her captain was. It gave him a bit of a queasy feeling to know that somehow Sheila just happened to be in the area. She just happened to be stopping by Sakura's place when her kingdom was far south of the Kingdom of Truth. It was more of the same, and Finn well knew it.
The queasy feeling was still with the King of Ooo as he boarded Sheila's submarine, not least because he'd had to hurt Sakura's feelings. Again. He was starting to hate doing that. At the same time, what was he going to do? Fuck every princess on Ooo? He had fourteen wives! His crazy family already had him stretched thin! They would potentially fuck him to death if he wasn't careful. "You alright, Finn," Sheila asked? "Yeah," he lied, "I'll be ok once I'm inside..."
The Lamprey Princess grinned her toothy grin. She was wearing a one-piece number that hugged tight to her body with a plunging neckline that went down between her massive knobs. The pretty princess took him by the arm, saying, "right! Let's get you inside!" Walking behind them, Billy found himself watching that big, round ass wig-wag back and forth in bemusement. His dad was either the luckiest sot in creation or hopelessly cursed because legions of hot women wanted his boner. Shaking his head, he picked up his bags and followed.
Far to the west, one of the sinister lords of the unaffiliated domains was in the midst of one of his usual sick entertainments. Located as he was on a central highway north of Purple Kingdom, the self-styled Prince Bertoli was the latest in a long line of petty despots getting rich from robbing traders and travelers on the road. Most had been content to simply profit from others' hard work. Bertoli was different. He was a man with ugly desires, and he often had his soldiers and agents on the lookout for tender morsels passing through his lands.
He'd been quite pleased when the troop of players appeared in the town below his castle. Traveling performers nearly always had a sweet-treat in their numbers. He'd dispatched his steward to have a look and settled in to wait. Reward had come swiftly. His steward had summoned soldiers and ransacked the playhouse and the players' caravan, returning with rich booty and a sweet little bedwarmer.
Standing in his study before a hapless maiden, the evil lord licked his lips at the delicious package he was presented with. She was petite and yet curvy at the same time. Her plump boobies, while not huge, looked big on her small frame. Her pale complexion was exotic for the locale, making him think of keeping her for his stable. Her terror was plain on her face, suggesting she would be too frightened to even think of leaving. In short, she was perfect entertainment for a debauched an evil old man.
Tonight's success was a far cry from his previous steward's disastrous failure with the wizard a few years ago. The self-proclaimed 'prince of the mountains' was still smarting from that one. The fool had gotten several of Bertoli's favorite soldiers killed. Fortunately, the wizard had been kind enough to remove the wretch from his family's bloodline. Bertoli had hired a replacement.
The heavily-built purple-person stood up from his chair and walked up to his unhappy guest, forcing her to look up at him. She looked suitably cowed, and when he reached out to her, he found her trembling. "Take her to my chambers," growled the evil robber-baron. He was going to grab a quick shower.
After spending a half-hour scrubbing up in the bath, the vile fellow was practically singing when he came strolling into his boudoir. He was looking forward to some good screams. He was considering how long he would keep her around. A few of his toys had amused him for months before he threw them out on the highway once more.
The little woman was kneeling on the bed just now, wearing nothing but her blushes. He stopped to admire her charms one more time, feeling his pecker lurch. Striding boldly forward, he growled, "if I'm pleased, you'll live. You may even leave..." He left unsaid what would happen if he wasn't. As he approached, she obediently lay back. This was better and better. The evil warlord gestured for her to open herself to him, and she obeyed with alacrity. Grinning his evil grin, Bertoli got up on the bed and climbed aboard.
And that was when the little beauty slashed his face and chest with her wickedly-sharp nails.
The effects of the venom were fast and intense. He found himself paralyzed and barely able to breath as she pushed him over on his back. "It's a special poison," she said, as she mounted his iron-hard pecker. "You can't feel this," she moaned, as she began to ride him. "Your nerves are scrambled. It's not reversible... Funny, huh? You're... mmm... hard as a stone because your heart's pumpin' like crazy. You're gettin' it on with a hot girl. Ooo... yeah... You're having your last fuck on Glob's earth, and you don't even get to enjoy it..."
Her confederates had the dead man's wife, son, and daughter rounded up and under guard in the great hall when she emerged with Bertoli's head. Her elegant fingers held his hair in a negligent grip as she strode, naked, up to the 'prince's' heir. Tossing the severed head into his lap, she demanded, "which of you will obey me...?" The young tough's threats were cut off by a sword through the neck. His mother's hysterics ended when her head left her neck to go bouncing across the floor. The daughter swore she'd do anything she was told to do. Patting her cheek with a bloody hand, the little murderess declared, "congrats, princess. You get the job."
It isn't enough to conquer a kingdom. After the war, you have to keep it.