"I don't want to do this anymore, Aya." He said while looking at me straight in the eyes.
Sitting in our kitchen chair, both of his arms on the tabletop while holding out the divorce papers.
A long silence enveloped us.
We were happy. The three of us are doing okay. We go to picnics, to movies.
What happened?
"Is this...what you really...want?" I managed to say without letting my voice crack.
I thought he wanted space, so I gave him one.
I thought he just needed some air to breath.
But it turns out, he wanted to be free.
Free from all these responsibilities. From me. And take custody of our child.
Without further ado, he said "Yes."
One simple word. I didn't imagined that it would hurt this much.
That three letter word made my world crumble apart.
But I have to do it. Even if it pains me.
Because that's what love means.
"Okay..." I said while nodding my head repeatedly. Making sure that this was really happening.
"... Okay?" He said while looking at me with hopeful eyes.
Do you hate me that much?
That you can't spend another second with me?
I'm sorry but can I be selfish?
I need time to adjust.
Please let me go slowly. So slow that I won't call for your name anymore.
So slow that I can live another day without you by my side.
"Two weeks..." please give this one to me.
I looked at him straight in the eyes for the first time again.
"For two weeks, we will live like how we used to. Like the days where Kenji was born. Show me that you loveme again. Even if... even if you don't anymore."
I could feel my tears coming back. But I have to hold it for now.
"You'll carry me to our bedroom, cooking breakfast together, sending and fetchingKenji to school together, sleeping beside each other, and kiss me every night on my forehead like you used to do. And call each other with our endearment."
I can see the doubt in his face.
Am I still worthy of those things?
I swallowed my pride and said, "Just for two weeks and I'll sign the papers. You may take Kenji under your custody and I promise that after those two weeks, you won't hear anything from me. If you want, you won't see even a shadow of me. Please..."
Silence consume us again. After a long debate he had on his mind, he finally nodded.
"When do we start? Today?" I nodded while reachingout to my pocket.
"Please wear this again." I gave him his ring.
Our wedding ring that symbolizes our oneness, our love, our commitment. "After those two weeks, you can do whatever you want with it."
He hesitated for awhile but he put the ring back to where it belongs before. Before...
Seeing him wearing it again made a smile appear on my face.
He saw this and he scoffed. "Don't get used to it."
I know... I'm fully aware of that.
But I still gave him a smile and hestood up.
Will he walked away? But I know he wasn't that kind of a man.
"Get ready, we'll have to get Kenji in five minutes."