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Prologue
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He only parked the car by the roadside when he realized he had been about to crash into a lamp post.
His hands, his precious and always confident hands, were violently shaking against his will.
He needed a fucking cigarette.
At some point, after staring at them aimlessly for long insufferable and confusing minutes, he came to terms with the fact that he needed his hands to move in order to get the cancer stick and the lighter out of his pocket, an action they didn't seem to be engaging any time soon, seeing how they were still clinging to the wheel for dear life, still shaking.
His brain went through the inner process of registering the situation, coming up with an appropriate action course, sending the order to his uncooperative hands and forcing them to move. He finally managed to fish a cigarette, followed by his treasured lighter; golden and carved with sophisticated patterns his fingers had gotten used to thoughtlessly tracing.
The one Zoro had given him.
A strangled primal sound escaped his lips despite trying to restrain it, only earning a lump in his throat. He blinked his dry lost eyes and lit the cigarette. Or tried to. He couldn't get a flame out of the damn yet precious lighter. His fingers were failing him. He tried again. Once. Twice. Three times. He gave up at the tenth attempt and just rested his head against the driver's seat, looking ahead at nothing in particular, feeling painfully empty.
How had it ended up like this?
It wasn't supposed to be like this, not in his head. They were supposed to be chilling together at home. Sanji would have cooked an incredible breakfast for both of them, then they would have made love, then gone to sleep, keeping each other warm. Or more like Zoro scalding him to death, since the damn moss-head was like a living heater.
They were supposed to be planning the upcoming weekend together. The bastard had promised they'd spend that weekend together, away from everything except from each other. He had fucking promised. Turns out the bastard was a shameless liar. How dared he?! How dared he leave him alone?! Hadn't he fucking made a promise?! Damn liar. So much for keeping his word.
Why had this happened?
Sanji's thoughts were broken when he registered a sob. It hit him that it was his own voice emitting the terrifying sound. Tears were streaming down his face without control, his body painfully convulsing to keep himself from crying. So much for trying.
He'd never felt this weak, he'd never felt this hurt, he'd never felt this empty, he'd never felt like dying before. Maybe crashing against the lamp post wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all. At least it would have eased the torture he was going through. Alone.
But most of all, he felt lost. What a cruel irony, Zoro would have laughed at him. The thought only fueled his despair, tears and agonizing whimpers, unable to restrain them anymore. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! He'd never felt this utterly lost and lonely in his entire life.
It wasn't meant to be like this.
It shouldn't have been like this.
It couldn't be like this.
But it was. And he was broken beyond repair, he knew it already.
The cigarette fell from his lips as he muttered Zoro's name over and over, his voice hoarse and desperate, his chest and stomach and throat aching more and more by the moment. He felt so helpless and small. So hurt. So weak. So lonely. And again, so lost.
Fuck.
He screamed against his hands, barely muffling the raw noise ripping its way out of his throat.
Why?
How had it ended up like this?
A/N: Hello there! Okay, some of you might have already read this since it was uploaded before I erased this particular story (it used to be called The Unwanted), let me clarify: I think it was about a year and a half ago that I started this story, but I completely lost the plot and ended up discarding it, so I erased it from my page!
Since I've been pretty stressed out and have barely had time to properly write decent content for Come Back, I went back to re-reading old stuff in order to get inspired and I decided to recycle this story. If you had read this before, the first few chapters might sound familiar since I have used most of them, but I am editing stuff and the main plot will be different from what it used to be. I am only using some old material that I thought could be useful in order to build a new story line.
For now I'll be rereading and editing the chapters I had already written and I'm going to keep updating it whenever I get them checked or write something new, which might be soon or spaced in time, but I thought it would be good to bring it back while still working on Come Back, since I often struggle with my main story and it does me good to work on something else in order to clear my head when I'm stuck.
So, fear not, Come Back is still the main story where I'll be putting most of my writting efforts, but I'm happy to be able to change a bit every now and then by coming back to this one! I hope you enjoy this as well, please let me know what you think!
Have a great end of the week!