The Gay Uchiha
by: Underwrldqueen
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, blah blah blah…
Summary: Have you ever wondered if, well, the great Uchiha Sasuke was gay? The village of Konoha sure has! Now that he's back, everyone thinks he's gay! He will need the help of Sakura to prove them wrong, but will she accept? Or laugh in his face?
A/N: By the way, this isn't a Yaoi. I'm completely a supporter of Sasuke x Sakura.
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A raven-haired boy, about the age of 16, strolled down the road, as happy as ever would be. Sasuke had finally attained his number one goal, and with it, taken down an S-class criminal that has been terrorizing Konoha for years. Now all of this brought him down to his second goal, of resurrecting his clan. That was his reason for returning to the small and humble Leaf Village.
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He needed to find a girl.
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No, scratch that, all he needed to do is stroll into Konoha. His fan girls would be flying at him, of coarse. To think that maybe all these years his fan girls would still be clawing at him, it made him sick. He wished they would stop bothering him. Pesky women.
(A/N: BWAHAHAHAHA!)
So Sasuke went on strolling on. He finally reached the village. As he was walking, people started to stare and whisper.
'Is that Uchiha Sasuke?'
'That traitor is back!'
'Ohhh squeals it's Uchiha Sasuke-kun!'
'Why did he come back? Did he kill Itachi?'
'Gee, he's even hotter than before!'
Whisper, whisper, whisper.
The Uchiha sighed. Things were just as they were before.
Then he heard it, the rumbling footsteps of…FANGIRLS!
"Oy, Sasuke-kuuun, we didn't know you were back!"
"I'm sure you're tired Sasuke-kun, you can stay at my place!"
"You are so HOT, Sasuke-kun! Come here! Look behind you!"
"Look here! Look here!" (sweatdrop)
Sasuke was tired from the long journey. So, he ducked into the first place he came to. He collapsed and sat down. Breathing heavily, he looked around. It was dark, with flashy lights all around. It seemed to be a bar, because it smelled strongly of liquor. Lots of guys were dancing to the horrendous beat. Many, many, guys.
Wait. Guys? All guys.
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"Sasuke-san, is that you? I thought I would never see you're complete youthfulness again!"
Sasuke found the voice familiar to his horror. Then he was embraced by something green. Green, green, green.
Before he could even say "Lee", the door of the bar burst open.
"Sasuke-kuuun, you can come—"
A bunch of girls gasped. Some fainted in horror.
Lee was still hugging Sasuke, and was completely oblivious to the crowd of envious girls.
"Oh Sasuke-san, I missed your youthfulness so much!" cried Lee.
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The girls blinked. Then they blinked again.
"Oh my gosh, Sasuke-kun is GAY!"
(A/N: I have absolutely nothing against gays. I just wanted to make an interesting story. So no flames about that! I respect gays and their gender preferences, so don't take this wrong!)
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"My sweet, handsome, Sasuke-kun, tell me this isn't so!"
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"Ahhh! Sasuke-kun is gay!"
"I knew it! Ever since he kissed Naruto, he's been weird!"
"I've always wondered why he never went out with such a pretty girl like me!"
"He rejected us all! This must be the reason why!"
"He is in a gay bar." pointed out a girl.
The girls gasped again.
-
"Lets go tell everyone!" said another.
Sasuke watched in horror.
Bwahaha.
'Who the fuck are you?'
I'm you, of coarse!
…
By the way, you're still holding on to your lover.
What? Ew no!
Sasuke roughly pushed Fuzzy Eyebrows away.
"Lee! You never told me this was A GAY BAR!" yelled Sasuke, complete with famous Uchiha Death Glare.
"What, Sasuke-san, you don't like the youthfulness of such a happy bar?" Lee was shocked.
Youthfulness? Happy bar? Now that's a REALLY, REALLY, gay guy.
"Ugh. You. Don't. Get. It."
Now, now, I think he perfectly gets that he is a HOMOSEXUAL!
'Shut up!'
Make me, you gay Uchiha.
'Shut up.'
Remember, I AM YOU, you gay boy.
Sharingan.
…(due to explicit violence, this scene has been cut out)…
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"SAKURA-CHAAN!" yelled the blonde ninja obnoxiously.
"What!?" replied the annoyed, pink haired nurse. She was currently very busy with paperwork.
"Lets go out for ramen!"
"No."
"Awww, why not?"
"Can't you see I'm busy, Naruto?"
"Nope."
"…"
"C'mon, you need a break Sakura! You've been working too hard lately. Even Hinata-chan is worried about you."
Sakura thought about it. Naruto was right. She's been too stressed out lately, with paperwork and injured ninjas to tend to.
"Ok, fine, but just this once. I guess I do need a break…"
"Yay!"
So off they went to the ramen stand!
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Sakura had a great time with Naruto and Hinata. She hasn't felt so happy since...ever, really. It felt good to just relax and have fun.
They were chatting away (well, Sakura and Hinata were, Naruto was just stuffing his face) when a bunch of scary looking girls came rushing past, crying out something hard to understand…
"Sasuke-kun is GAAAAY!"
"Sasuke-kun is GAAAAY!"
"Sasuke-kun is GAAAAAY!"
The ramen lady fainted.
Naruto stopped eating. (Now that's news.)
Hinata said "Holy crap!"
And poor Sakura threw herself into the nearest trash bin.
Oh, the horror.