Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously.
A/N: Written for briony_tallis at femmefest.
A/N2: Thanks to Emily for beta-ing this at such short notice, as well as it_will_cook for further beta!
A/N3: As always, please do let me know if you like/dislike this by reviewing (constructively – trolls, please keep your distance). Cheers.
Padma Patil happened to know that most everyone thought that Cho Chang was beautiful, but she also happened to know that she was not most everyone. Certainly the older girl was pleasing to the eye. It was also surprising how well mannered she was for someone so popular. However, Padma did not happen to believe that Cho warranted all the fuss everyone continually insisted on making over her. It was, therefore, to Padma's very own utmost surprise that one of her very first (real) words to Cho would be, "Beautiful."
It happened sometime during the last month leading up to the end of Padma's fifth year at Hogwarts. It had been late and Padma had, embarrassingly, nodded off in the library. By the time Madam Pince had made her rounds and woken her up, the dust had settled in her hair, on her clothes and she thought, to her utter revulsion, that she could even taste it in her mouth. Padma had considered the time and felt justified enough to presume that no one would be using the Ravenclaw girls' showers at such late hours.
Thus, one could imagine and most definitely share in Padma's surprise when she stepped into the shower chamber, fully expecting the place to be empty and finding that it was in fact not. This other girl, whomever she might be, was not actually using the showers. No, she was crying in the privacy afforded by what should have been an empty room. Padma could hear the great, heaving sobs and feel them reverberate in the (now, no longer) empty chamber.
After a moment's hesitation, Padma called out, "Hello?" She reckoned that the girl would figure out that she was not alone anyway when Padma started her shower. Padma intended on having that shower as soon as possible and there was simply no way she was going to wait for the girl to finish her crying spree first. The dust might have coalesced into something by then.
The sobs broke off most abruptly and there was a very unladylike snort, which was then followed by a slightly more demure sniff. "Is – is someone there?"
Padma resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She sensed – oh, all right, she knew that it might not be the most appropriate gesture she could be making. "Yes. Uh, listen, I'm sorry to intrude." She did roll her eyes at that. "But, honestly, I'm just here to take a shower." Way to state the obvious, Padma Patil. "So, uh – feel free to – ehm, continue?" Merlin! If that wasn't the most tactless thing ever, I don't know what would be! she scolded herself. Oh dear, Padma, you're not at all cut out for this girly talk. Vati should be the one in your shoes – well, your shower slippers – at this very moment.
The girl laughed suddenly and Padma felt a smile tugging at her lips despite herself. She did have a very beautiful laugh. "Thank you, but no, thanks. I think it's about time I stop anyway." There was another sniff. "You must think I'm a crybaby."
Padma bit her bottom lip and said carefully, "Well, no, not really. Uh, I mean – you must have your reasons. And I'm frankly not one to judge. I – well – if you must know …" Padma's voice dropped as she continued in a manner that suggested she was about to impart a secret of great import, "I cried my eyes out when I was on the last page of Hogwarts: A History."
The girl laughed again and a door to one of the shower stalls slowly slid open. "You're funny," she declared as she approached Padma.
"I do try," Padma responded evenly as she narrowed her eyes in an attempt to make out the features of the girl before her. Was it someone in her year? No, she would have known. Someone younger? Older? "Why were you crying?" she asked before she could stop herself. "Not that it's any of my business, of course. Sorry, forget I said anything."
The girl chuckled. "My cat died," she offered softly. A shaft of moonlight fell across the girl's face and Padma's eyes widened a little. "My name's Cho," Cho said with a smile as she extended a hand.
I know. "Padma," Padma managed, grasping Cho's hand a little limply as her eyes roamed almost hungrily over Cho's puffy eyes, her wet cheeks, her red nose and her white, even teeth. Beautiful, Padma thought – or at least she supposed she had only thought it.
"I beg your pardon?" Cho enquired as their hands fell apart, her brows drawing in bafflement.
"Huh?" Padma voiced, feeling equally confused.
"I thought you said beautiful," Cho explained as her smile returned in full force. "Is that your name? Padma Beautiful?"
Padma blushed. "No." She toed the tiled floor nervously and finally looked up to meet Cho's eyes again. "I meant you."
"Oh." Cho touched her cheeks a little self-consciously. "But I must look an absolute fright right now."
"No," Padma reassured. "You are, you know. Even like this -" Definitely like this. "You're beautiful."
Cho blushed as well. "Why, thank you."
Padma smiled shyly. "Doesn't everyone keep reminding you?"
Cho snorted in that most unladylike way again.
Padma grinned.
"You sounded like you meant it."
"I did."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I didn't know you were friends with Cho Chang," Parvati remarked without preamble, waylaying Padma just as she was about to leave the Great Hall for the first of her morning classes.
"Vati, I have a class to go to," Padma reminded her twin sister, looking longingly in the general direction of Transfiguration. "And don't you have a class to catch too, for that matter?"
"We have a few minutes to spare," Parvati decided dismissively. "So, tell me. What's the story with you and Cho?"
Padma sighed and adjusted the strap of her bag. "There's no story." Was it really so surprising that Cho and she were now friends? She had spent the entire weekend since the night in the showers fending off curious enquiries from her fellow Ravenclaws and now it was her very own sister's turn.
"Don't you give me that, Paddy," Parvati warned, wagging her finger at Padma. "Five years in the same House and today was the first time I, and everyone else, ever saw the two of you together. And looking all cosy and friendly like you've always been friends." Parvati had that look in her eye. Their mother always had the same look when it came time to visit their great-uncle's and no one, not even their father, wanted to go. They always ended up going – in their Sunday best and lugging gifts to boot.
Padma sighed again. "There's honestly no story," she repeated. "I ran into her, we exchanged a few words and we sort of became friends."
Parvati looked highly sceptical.
"Look, we're going to be late. Let's talk later, okay?" Padma told her, squeezing Parvati's arm and quickly running off before her sister could say something else.
Padma knew that their friendship – Cho's and hers – was the unlikeliest of friendships. She did not need Parvati's surprise or the other Ravenclaws' curiosity to bring that fact home to her. She was a practical sort of person. Cho, on the other hand, was a dreamer. Remarkably enough, however, they did get along really well. Padma's fifth year – Cho's sixth – came to an end soon enough and summer arrived. Padma and Cho made arrangements to spend the long months together. They spent the early days of summer just talking – about anything and everything and all that was in between.
Cho would tell Padma of all the things that she had never before dared to voice aloud. Padma would regale Cho with all the things she could see in the summer clouds, in the night sky, in her pumpkin juice or Cho's tea, in the fluttering of coloured leaves as summer held on in vain before the onset of autumn. During those moments, Padma could often forget that she had thought herself to be the practical one and Cho the dreamer.
But Padma grew to love indulging her sillier side. It was a side of her that had been bright and alive before she had entered Hogwarts, before she had assumed that she somehow needed to be graver and quieter in order to become mature. If she were truly honest with herself though, Padma knew she only did what she did because she wanted to see Cho laugh. She liked the slight dimple in Cho's right cheek when she smiled just a little too widely, the impossible glimmer in her eyes when she laughed just a little too loudly.
But it was only when Cho started crying, when she started speaking of Cedric, of her family, of her friends, of pressures, of her future and of her dreams that Padma thought Cho to be absolutely breathtaking. There was frailty in Cho that made Padma wish she could protect her forever and ever. Yet, there was strength in her frame even as she shook in Padma's arms and that humbled Padma like nothing else ever could or ever would.
Padma loved the warmth of Cho's tears as their cheeks pressed together, the warmth and smell of the sun that lingered in Cho's hair and the faint citrus scent of Cho's favourite lotion on her skin. Padma especially loved the way her own heart skipped a beat and never quite pounded the same for the few moments that followed when Cho whispered thanks in her ear before they slowly – and, on Padma's part, reluctantly – parted.
"Thank you, Pad," Cho said again, her voice still hushed and more than a little heavy as she brushed her lips across Padma's knuckles. "You're the best friend anyone could hope to have." Cho smiled that smile at Padma and held her darker hands in her own fairer ones, close to her heart and Padma imagined she could feel Cho's heart beat a little faster against her skin.
Padma swallowed thickly and offered Cho a practiced smile, not quite trusting herself to speak. Her blood rushed in her ears and pulsed like a living thing in her veins and – oh Merlin, I think I'm in love with Cho.
"You know, I think you've been avoiding me. No, I know you've been avoiding me," Parvati accused as she poked at the lump in Padma's bed.
"Have not," came the muffled reply.
"Have too," Parvati huffed. "You're always either with your books or with Cho. I've hardly seen you this summer and we're about to start school in just a few more weeks."
Padma burrowed deeper into the covers.
"Paddy, talk to me," Parvati pleaded, sitting down next to the lump. "You've been a little – strange since Cho's last visit." She poked at the lump again. "Did you two fight?"
"No."
"All right. What happened then?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, come on, Paddy. First, you wouldn't tell me how you two became friends. Now, you won't tell me why you're acting like a recluse."
"Am not."
"Okay, you better start speaking up, Padma Patil. Or – or I will sic Mama on you."
Padma threw off the covers in alarm and gaped at Parvati. "You – Vati, you won't!"
"Oh, watch me," Parvati challenged, turning her nose up triumphantly.
Padma sighed after a while, breaking off their staring contest and settling back down. "Vati, I – I think I love Cho."
"Well, you guys are best friends," Parvati pointed out.
"Uh, no, that's not what I meant – wait, isn't that peculiar to start with? I mean – we've only known each other for a few months. How can we already be best friends?"
"Paddy," Parvati said very slowly. "Best friends are not measured by time or anything just as stupid. Lav and I were best friends in the first few weeks we knew each other."
"Oh, right. But, Vati, I love Cho more than – I love her, Vati."
"What? Oh. Oh! You mean -"
Padma nodded meaningfully.
"Like Auntie Sita and her wife?"
"Like Auntie Sita and her wife."
"Oh, wow," Parvati whispered, smiling a little. "Well, good for you, Paddy. Cho's really pretty and she's really nice too. Most importantly, Mama already likes her."
"Uh, Vati, no. It's not good for me. See, I love Cho. That doesn't necessarily translate into her returning my feelings. For all we know, she prefers -" Padma swallowed with difficulty. "She might prefer men to women."
Parvati bumped shoulders with Padma. "And what makes you think that?"
Padma gave her twin sister a dubious look. "Vati, she's dated boys. She's only ever dated boys. For that matter, I don't think anyone at Hogwarts is dating someone of the same sex -"
Parvati giggled. "That's not true."
"What?"
"Let's see. There's Ginny and Pansy," Parvati recited, ticking off a finger. "Fleur and Hermione. Ooh, there's also that boy from Hufflepuff and -"
Padma blinked. "That's – surprising, to say the least. Uh, but that doesn't help me any, Vati."
"Paddy dear, the fact that she's only dated boys so far doesn't necessarily mean that she won't date girls. Besides, have you seen how – Actually, now that I think about it, haven't you two been looking at each other in much the same way?"
Padma sighed, rubbing her temple. "And what way might that be?"
"Like only the two of you exist in the world, of course."
Padma blushed. "We have not!"
"You two most certainly have. I wonder why I hadn't picked up on it sooner. I guess people do only see what they expect to see. That'll teach me to judge the book by its cover."
"Back to the point, please, Vati. What are you saying?"
"Here I thought you were the smart one. What I'm saying, my dear sister, is that you won't be disappointed if you let her know how you feel."
Padma looked unconvinced. "Really?"
"Really?"
"Really?"
"Will you just trust me?"
"That's what's got me worried."
"Hey!"
"You seem awfully distracted," Cho observed, looking up from the book she had herself been less than duly absorbed in.
"Do I?" Padma squeaked back.
Cho lifted her eyebrow, closing the book and pushing it away to give Padma her full attention. "And very odd."
"Really?" Padma whispered in a high-pitched voice, her eyes moving restlessly and never meeting Cho's.
"Most definitely. Are you okay?" Cho asked with concern. "You don't seem like yourself."
Padma smiled weakly and took a deep breath before reaching across to take Cho's hands in her own. The silence that had been slightly awkward melted into the comfortable sort that they had grown used to. The late summer rain provided a gentle background noise and Padma felt herself beginning to calm. "I've spent hours after hours just mulling over the perfect words – much to Vati's amusement, I might add." Padma kept her eyes fixed on their laced fingers and slowly continued, "Now that the moment is here, I find that the words are lacking. Cho, I want you to know that I – despite knowing you for only a few months, you've become very precious to me."
Cho beamed and squeezed Padma's hand. "I feel much the same way, Pad."
Padma's smile faltered a little. "I don't know if you'll still that way when I'm finished. Cho, I -" Padma finally looked up and into Cho's eyes, her heart doing the little stutter it tended to do in Cho's company – only this time to the beat of the raindrops. "I love you, Cho Chang," Padma confessed in a hushed voice. "I thought of a hundred ways to tell you and a hundred more to show you. But I think – I hope that these simple words I've uttered have imparted more than extravagant displays of fireworks or lengthy poems ever could."
"I love you too, Pad. You know that," Cho said, sounding and looking more than a little confused.
"I'm in love with you, Cho," Padma clarified, her hands feeling a little clammy, her heart a thundering beast in her chest and the sound of the rain no longer so tranquil and now much too intrusive. "When I'm with you, I – I just want to hold you and kiss you and never ever let you go."
Cho looked stunned and her hands grew slack around Padma's.
Padma felt her heart break and forced herself to smile as she slowly pulled her hands away. "I – I just wanted to let you know. I didn't really expect anything, honestly. I – I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I -" Padma blinked her tears away as her words were swallowed up by Cho's lips. She had imagined and dreamt and hoped of kissing Cho. She had thought it would be like kissing marshmallows: soft and sweet and pliant. Kissing Cho, really kissing Cho, however, felt harsh and unyielding and Padma felt like burning up (or burning out) and like her heart was about to stop and – please, please make this last forever.
"I love you, Padma," Cho whispered, leaning in to pepper Padma's cheeks, her nose, her eyelids, her everywhere with kisses. "Merlin, you cannot know how long I've wanted to tell you that."
"Wait, what?" Padma asked breathlessly, getting slightly sidetracked by how close Cho was, how good she smelt and how soft she felt.
"I'm in love with you, Padma Patil," Cho gushed. "I think I fell for you that night in the showers."
"Really?" Padma murmured in wonder.
"Yes, you silly girl. For someone so bright, you can be terribly slow."
"That's what Vati said."
"Well, I think your sister is very wise indeed."
Padma laughed. "Vati would have a field day if she had heard you."
Cho chuckled. After a while when they had both calmed down, she asked softly as her hands ran up and down Padma's back, "Pad?"
Padma's breath hitched a little and she thought she heard the rain grew much more furious. "Yes?"
"I don't want to talk about your sister."
"No?"
Cho smiled somewhat predatorily. "No." She licked her lips and pushed Padma down gently. "In fact, I don't want to talk at all."
"Oh," was the last coherent thing Padma said for the rest of the night. It was a good thing it was raining so heavily.