Hey guys! =) So, this is my first fanfic, although I've read hundreds of them already. It is based on Cassandra Clare's Clockwork Angel… I personally prefer Jem, and I think Tessa should be with him, but I believe she will choose Will in the end. So, I thought, Jem could have his happy ending as well (as ironic as it may sound… poor Jem, I hope there'll be a cure for him). In this one-shot, I introduced a new girl – Laura – and this is set at a shadowhunter party. Laura has spent the last few months in the London institute (I actually have a backup story for all that's happened and why she's there, but I just don't have the time to type it right now :/). So, on with the story! And if you have any doubts, feel free to ask =)

Disclaimer: Everything except for Laura belongs to the amazing Cassandra Clare.

She stood in the middle of the sea of dresses and looked up to him. He was staring at the outside sky, his silvery eyes shining along with the moon. She silently moved towards him, letting his presence overtake her just for a brief second before she paused right next to him.

"Hey," he said, smiling, his eyes glinting as they always did. "Has something happened?" he asked, taking a closer look at her.

"No, nothing really. Just talked to my parents, and it wasn't exactly… a very pleasant conversation" she murmured in a low voice, that nonetheless she knew he could hear.

"Oh. You know they are just not used to what's happening. You shouldn't bother too much with what they say about your behavior… or lack of it" he said jokingly, but in a tone that had no offense implied in it.

"You're right. It's just… nevermind. It's too much of a beautiful night to spoil it" she answered, smiling back at him.

"Wanna take a walk? It might distract you." he suggested, offering his hand. She nodded and her heart thumped loudly the second he grasped her hand – not lightly like he usually did, but with a strong, firm grip. They walked in silence; she had no idea where they were headed to, but she really didn't care. She was better off with Jem at the brink of the world than with someone else in heaven.

"You know, there's something clearly prettier than this night to me" he said in a soft voice, and gestured towards a big rock for them to sit in.

"The moon?" she asked, her lips twitching upwards "it is, indeed. "

"The moon is no doubt beautiful. But I think it's only fair that you know that right now, you are more" he answered in a deep, yet soft voice. Laura felt her hands shaking the slightest bit, and the blood flushing through her cheeks. A heat of wave surrounded her, and she couldn't quite find an answer to give him.

"I've always thought of the moon as the most beautiful thing in the world, you know… but the moment I met you, I knew I was wrong. And then… and then, I just was so, so surprised…" she seemed to be struggling to keep the words coming out, and was looking down, a bit ashamed "Because, you could be really handsome in the outside, but I'd never have expected you to be so beautiful in the inside. Which you are. Just like the moon. You have phases and you change like everyone else, but you remain constant over time. You are trustworthy; just the moon can keep secrets. And, contrarily to the sun, you do not harm anyone, at least not on purpose. And your eyes… they have the same tone as the moon, exactly the same one. Yes… you're totally like the moon." She fell silent and felt her body shake again, not so much by the freezing wind that was blowing but more due to the effects her words might held in the future.

He stared at her for a while, his mouth slightly opened in shock. For the first time since she had known him, he seemed to be struggling for words, just like her. Now was it, Laura thought. Either he confessed he felt the same, or he'd apologise, saying that he was sorry, but couldn't correspond her feelings. There was still a third option… but she didn't want to think of that one just yet.

"What kind of a monster would I be" he said in a whisper "if I just let you be with me, even knowing that I am about to die?"

Laura felt the despair rise in her. Had he chosen the third option? "I think," she begun in a shaky voice "I'm wise enough to decide about that question. And it doesn't matter to me."

"It does to me. It does to me!" he screamed this time. Laura had never seen him scream before; he had risen up to his feet and was breathing heavily against the big rock. "How do you think I'd feel, knowing that I could die tomorrow. Maybe the day after tomorrow, maybe next week, I have no idea. You'd be better of with someone… someone who isn't dying. Someone with whom you can have a big, happy life! "

"Jem, please! I don't want anyone else. I'd rather have you for a year, than someone else for the rest of my life..."

Jem made a strange sound, almost like a strangled one. He took many sharp breaths to calm down, and then pushed his shoulders to the front. He stared at her with an icy glare… a glare she'd never seen him wear before, either. "Laura. I hoped I wouldn't have to say this, but… I like you, I really do. Like family. But there's nothing other than that. Nothing else."

Laura froze, dumbfounded. Had he said… had he chosen option 2? Had she been wrong all this time? One thing was to try to convince him she didn't care about his illness, but if he didn't like her… there was nothing she could do about it, was there? She felt the tears that wanted to come down her cheeks, and she struggled to pull them away; but she didn't manage to do so. Lifting herself up, she forced a smile.

"I'm sorry, Jem. I want you to know that we… I hope we can be friends like before. You don't have to worry about this anymore; I won't bring it up, ever again." And with that, she turned away and started walking at a fast pace, not wanting him to hear the sobs that escaped her mouth.

By the time she started walking away from him, Jem felt himself collapse onto the floor, his chest aching. He curled up in a ball; he'd rather die now, than feel this pain. But much worse than that, was the pain he had caused her. It was all his fault; he knew he shouldn't have been so close to her in the last few months. He wanted her to have a normal, happy life with someone she deserved – but he wanted her as well; he'd even found himself thinking about funny stories to tell her and make her happy, everyday. This, of course, was just an excuse to spend more time with her; they spent all their spare time together. When he had told her about his illness… She had cried, a lot. She wanted to search desperately for a cure, which he told her not to do. That night, they had slept together, not like Will would "sleep" with a girl, but just finding comfort and security in each other's arms… But, she deserved better. She should live long and have lots of kids, whom she loved. He smiled at that memory, but afterwards let the pain slide in again, rocking back and forth.

Laura had stopped walking not further away from where they had been seated; she couldn't really see anything anymore, as her vision was a blur. She was not only hurt by what Jem had said, but more by the way he had said it. He was never rude, and he never lost his temper. Why be so mean to her, when a simple "I'm sorry, but I can't correspond your feelings" would be enough? Shaking her head, she replayed the scene again and again. Could he be lying to her? Trying to make sure she'd find "someone better"? Her head was spinning with doubts and not a single answer. Staring at the starred sky, she noticed that all the stars were lightly less shiny than just ten minutes ago, thus making the moon overtake the sky as her own. She never knew what gave her the courage to go back to talk to him again; perhaps her pride was just so shattered that it didn't mind one more blow, or perhaps she had just lost it for good. Either way, she went back silently, only to find Jem curled in a ball, his hands firmly attached to his knees. Laura gulped some air, as if to build her courage. "Jem?"

"Lau?" Jem seemed shocked to find her here. "Are you alright? Did someone hurt you?" He looked genuinely concerned, but the sentences just seemed torturously ironic to Laura. And he had called her by the nickname he had made up; no one else ever called her that.

"Jem, I just want to tell you something, and then I really promise I'll leave." She sat on the ground next to him, every bit of her afraid to say the words. "If you don't like me, like you said, I'll leave you alone for good. But if… if you're just looking for the easiest way not to be with me, just because you're afraid of what might happen to me… then, you're just being selfish. And a coward" she finished, shaking. She had not meant the part about him being a coward; actually, he was the last person on this earth she could think of calling a coward. But she wanted some reaction from him, something…

"A coward? A COWARD? For protecting you? For wanting you to be happy?" he answered, his voice slightly higher than usual. "For giving up on you, so you could live a normal life?"

"We don't know how long do you still have to live. And most shadowhunters die young. It wouldn't make that much of a difference. Each one of us can get killed everyday, while doing our job!" she yelled, exasperated.

"It's not the same thing! You don't know what it's like… you have no idea…" Jem had put his head on his hands, looking very fragile all of a sudden. "You don't know what it'd do to you, either. You have a radious smile, and I don't want you to lose it. Which you would, living with the constant doubt I would bring into your life."

"Don't you dare," she snapped, suddenly furious "don't you DARE telling me I WOULD live with that constant doubt. Don't you think I already live with it? That everyday I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is sneak a glance into your bedroom, to make sure you lived to see another day?"

"You… you do?" Jem asked, his voice a strange mixture of shock, worry, and sweetness.

"Yes, I do! I've done it for the past few months. Us being together or not… it doesn't change that! I'll always be worried about you, whether you let me or not. And," she said accusingly "for your will, I wouldn't even be searching for a cure!"

"What! You're looking for a cure?" he sounded astonished. "I… I don't want you to. There's no cure. It's worthless" he murmured, his voice barely a whisper again. "Besides… searching for a cure, it would only be wasting your time. And I like spending time with you, so don't waste it on…"

"Have I ever… EVER not spent time with you? Every bit of every free moment?" Laura asked, her voice equally low.

"Oh!" Jem seemed surprised once more, as he reached his mouth with his index finger and slipped his tongue across it. Then, very slowly, he reached for the skin just below her eyes, and wiped it. As the rice powder slowly washed off, he could see a very pronounced black ring. "You have been trying to find a cure while you're supposed to be sleeping and getting some rest?" his voice was emotionless.

"Yes." She answered in a challenging tone, though her cheeks were bright red again.

"I don't know if I should feel like the worst person in the world," Jem said very slowly, his eyes closed "or if I should just feel like the luckiest one. I really don't know…" he opened his eyes abruptly, staring at her in disbelief. "I don't know if I should feel ashamed for what I'm forcing you to do…"

"You're not forcing me to do anything. I did it on my own will. It was just the right thing to do, you know…" she said it as if it were the most obvious thing.

"Lau." He was pleading now; she could see his barriers, the ones he'd never used before around her, or anyone that she knew of, crumbling down. It could be a matter of time until he realized that he shouldn't let his illness rule his life…

"Jem." She said his name in a very sweet manner she reserved only for him. "Jem, please. Tessa told me you once said that you were better than this, than it's hold on you. And you are. You're the bravest person I know. So, please, don't let it tighten it's hold on you. You can't let it rule what you'll do or not do. Please," she was begging now; this was her last chance " please, at least consider it."

They were standing very close to each other now, and Laura could feel his hot breath on her cheeks, see every inch of his face, not that she didn't know it by heart. He was still staring at her, a pained expression on his face.

"Lau… I really want you to be happy. You deserve it, more than anyone. You're one of the most selfless persons I know. And I feel like such a monster, as if I were holding you in chains. Trapping you… your future" he was the one shaking this time, and Laura couldn't stand it anymore: she hugged him tightly, just like they had done so many times before. People always thought they were brotherly hugs, but of course, for Laura, they were so much more than that. Brothers didn't hug that much; they didn't sleep hugged the whole night, didn't wake up with their legs entangled in each other's…

Laura had her head resting in Jem's shoulder, as he had his in hers, and it just felt… good. Then, she gave him a very, very light kiss in the neck. She hadn't planned to do so, and was not trying to win this fight that way – or maybe she was, uncounsciously. She meant it as a sign that she was there, and he could count on her; but Jem froze right away, and took a step back. She felt like kicking herself; she had ruined it all now. She felt the tears again, coming at the corners of her eyes, and didn't try to stop them. A single tear came down her cheek, and to her surprise, Jem gave her a little kiss, capturing it. She hold still, afraid that the slightest movement could shove him away again.

He was now slowly moving his face, his lips brushing her skin and leaving a hot trail that burned her; he stopped just before he reached her mouth, and she could feel him closing his eyes, as his eyelashes brushed her skin as well. "Are you sure," asked Jem, his voice very low once again "that this is what you want?"

"Yes." She was shaking again, but her voice was steady. "Yes, this is exactly what I want. I want you, Jem."

"Angel forgive me," Jem said trembling "for being so weak." – And with that, he moved his face just a tiny little bit more, and his lips brushed hers for a long moment. Then, very tenderly (which was so like Jem), he kissed her, and she kissed right back. They were being very slow and careful, as if not to break the magic of the moment; he slowly cupped her cheeks, then her hair, and finally embraced her, as she just stroked his smooth, silky hair, then letting her hands rest on his neck and shoulders. Laura felt a bit dizzy from all the sweetness that was radiating around them, as if she were tasting the flavour of the best chocolate she had ever tasted. His lips brushed very lightly against hers again, before he kissed her once more. Just, this time it was less controlled, more fierce.

She kissed him hard, letting all the worries go ahead in the kiss. All the despair she'd felt, all the nightmares she'd had. But also, and most importantly, all the passion she held, all the love she had for him, all the desire that had been aching to be freed. Jem bit her lower lip and she was surprised to hear herself moan; she felt him smile against her lips, and smiled as well. Then, very slowly, she traced the contour of his lips with her tongue, and felt him gasp with the surprise. After all, she was a lady, and ladies weren't supposed to do that kind of stuff… she knew. But he didn't seem to mind as he parted his lips, also slowly sliding his tongue to meet hers, both of them giving in to the desire they felt. Laura couldn't tell how long that kiss had lasted (not enough, for sure) before they backed a little, both breathing heavily.

Jem pulled his head so they were touching each other's forehead and nose, leaning on each other. "You know," Jem laughed a little, gentle one of his laughs "we can even give an Eskimo kiss right now" he continued, rubbing his nose against hers. Laura laughed as well, rubbing her nose in his. Suddenly, the world seemed a lot brighter; she just wanted to laugh, dance, scream, run wildly, and, of course, kiss Jem.

"I love you" said Jem in his quiet voice "I might be the worst man in the world for letting you get involved this way, but… I love you." He stared at her, his eyes shining along with the moonlight. Laura's heart skipped a beat, not a painful one at all. "And I love you" she whispered against his lips, feeling him shiver at her words. Jem held out his hand for her, which she took immediately, and pulled her to the ground next to him. They just stared at each other for a long time, before she reached for him, needing to feel the pressure of his mouth against hers again, as if to make sure it hadn't all been a dream. Jem complied, smiling as they shared another tender, sweet kiss. It didn't prevent them from being held out of oxygen again though, and so they parted, hugging tightly. They just stood there, lying on the ground, legs entangled, just taking in each other's scent. There could be nothing better than that.

So, please, review! Constructive criticism is welcome :D sorry if there are any mistakes, as English is not my mother language (point them out for me if you see them! Thanks)