Two figures sat around a fire. One was a small tanuki, his fur was brown predominantly, save for his eye mask, his ringed, bushy tail and his arms and legs. The other was a kitsune, with bright red fur all over, save for the tips of his tails, all of which were pure black. Both were dressed inconspicuously, in large, black cloaks. It was important nobody saw them. The fire shone off half of Danzaburo's face, as it glowed and crackled and hissed in the darkness of the woods. Zorori sat hunched, listening to the tanuki.

"Teke-teke-teke, and there was nothing more, but the sound of her spine dragging across the ground." Danzaburo finished grandly. He waited a short while for the kitsune to give his opinion. Then he heard light snoring. "Do you mind!?" He snapped suddenly. Zorori was probably one of the only people alive the Spy of a Thousand Scents showed his emotions to.

"Huh-wai-what? Oh yeah." The kitsune gave a long fake shiver. "That was really scary Danza-sama."

The tanuki frowned at him. "You were asleep."

Zorori yawned loudly. "Sorry." He stood up and stretched, his ten tails rolling up and curling.

"But you missed the whole Teke-teke story!" Danzaburo protested.

Zorori was yawning again. "Yeah, I already know it. Some rice farmer sliced someone in half by accident and buried her legs, but couldn't find the other half of her. Then he found her in his bed when he got home and" he yawned again, his eyes watering. "You know the rest. Speaking of home though, I should probably be getting back." He turned and walked away. "Night Danza-san!"

Danzaburo was annoyed as he watched the kitsune walking away. He had tried his best to make the stories unique and frightening, and in the end the fox had walked away falling asleep… Then an idea struck him… He hadn't really been trying his hardest, had he?

Zorori was whistling as he went, paws in his pockets, his ten tails blowing in the wind behind him. His whistling was echoing through the forest, bouncing around from tree to tree. It was almost scary, but Zorori had never really cared about much. He stopped whistling abruptly as he spotted something rising from out of the bushes. His tails whirled into one, and he approached cautiously.

"Hello?" He called. "Who's there?" His questions echoed around him. The figure turned to him. And pulled down her hood.

She was gorgeous, with wonderful, shining silver fur, deep green eyes and a fan held shyly over her muzzle. She giggled. "Do I look pretty?"

"Yes!" Zorori said automatically. There really was no other answer, she was so, so-

She removed her fan, to reveal a ripped muzzle, and bloodstained teeth.

"How about now?" She asked, her voice deep and threatening.

Zorori stumbled for an answer and heard Danzaburo's voice echoing in his head. "Kuchisake-Onna they call her now. She was once the most beautiful woman in the world, until her husband caught her with her lover. He ripped open her face, and left her only her lover to eat. So she roams the land, looking for a loved one… To devour!"

"Am I beautiful?" She growled again.

"You look like a treeeeee!" Zorori screamed, racing away from her deep, hungry, eyes. The only way to escape her was to confuse her. And now she had to ask someone was a tree good looking. Once he had ran far enough he pulled himself together. She wasn't chasing after him, he would get home. Zorori breathed a sigh of relief.

Then he heard a noise. Teke-teke. Teke-teke. Ears raised, eyes widened in fear, Zorori turned to see the top half of a cat racing after him, dragging her exposed spine behind her and leaving a trail of blood.

"AAAAAAIEEEEEE!" He shot off again, but tripped on a tree root, rolled across the dirt and got up, face to face with a large, red, grinning mouth on a tree.

"The Jubokko, a tree that is infested with the ghosts of the unavenged dead, that snatches all who travel past, in case it's the one that wronged them." Came Danza's voice.

"AAAAAAAAIEEEEE!" Came Zorori's scream as he tried to back away, tripped over a root and was wrapped up in it's vines. The tree dangled the young fox upside down over it's wide, blood-stained mouth.

"They come after battles, and stay until they have fed enough, or avenged themselves."

"I didn't kill you!" Zorori shrieked as the mouth opened impossibly wide, revealing a pile of bloody skeletons within.

Screaming, Zorori expanded his tails and managed to slip through the roots, before running away as fast as he could.

He was soon out of breath and gulping for air, and relaxed against a-he checked- normal tree. Then he heard a snarl from behind him, and turned to see a kitsune, three tails stiff and rigid, growling at him, fangs bared, it's muzzle bloody. It was as large as a leopard and growling.

"A feral kitsune is a creature that is rarely seen or heard of. It exists to grow stronger, believing the number of tails connotes strength. To get more tails, the kitsune devours the hearts of it's victim, and their soul with it!"

"Um, b-bad doggie!" Zorori whimpered.

The kitsune lunged, while the smaller one dived away. Zorori got up and was disappearing through the trees. He hoped that the kitsune found Kuchisake-Onna, or Teke-teke, so long as it didn't find him!

He fell on his face again and looked up. Then he threw his paws over his eyes. "Oh my god! Put something on!"

"The feral tanuki… Nothing to see here." Even Danza's inner monologue was lost for words!

Zorori got up as the dumb raccoon was smacking it's belly and showing off it's abnormally-sized-

The kitsune peeled his eyes away. "Seriously…get some pants or something!" Zorori walked away, more weirded out by this last encounter than frightened.

As he was finding his way back he spotted the fire from earlier, and remembered Danzaburo. Deciding he would warn the tanuki he raced towards it. The tanuki's back was to him and something was burning in the fire.

"Danza-san! I know you might not believe me, but this is important! There's a creepy tree! Kuchisake-Onna, Teke-teke, some mad kitsune and a tanuki who really needs some underwear! Danza-san this is-"

Then he spotted what was being cooked, Danzaburo was roasting over a fire and standing in his place was someone else.

They turned to the frightened kitsune. "Hello! Who's Danza-san?"

It was Kuchisake-Onna.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Zorori turned tails and ran away.

For the upteenth time he tripped, and landed on his face. On a giant web….

"Well hello." It was yet another monster. Half spider, half female bird, and was smiling at him as she approached on it's eight, large and hairy legs.

He shrieked and tried to pull free.

"It's okay. You must be cold. Let me get you warmed up!"

"No! Nonononononononononono!" He thrashed wildly, madly. He wasn't going to die! He still had his whole life ahead of him! As he was struggling, he didn't notice that the spider-lady had begun laughing, and that it was in the voice of Danzaburo, he also didn't notice that the web had become tar-coated rope.

Eventually he stopped thrashing and glared at the tanuki.

"Think this is funny?" He asked, trying to hold onto what was left of his dignity.

Danzaburo was doubled over with laughter, if you saw him now you'd have never believed he was a capable spy and competent killer. "You-should-have-seen-your-face!" He breathed between laughs. Eventually he managed to calm himself. "And your screams. 'AAAAAAAAIEEEEE!'" He doubled over again as Zorori pulled himself free of the tar-coated rope. The kitsune would have been angry, but he figured he'd have done the same if he had thought of it first. He would also have been laughing madly if it had been someone else that had gone through his ordeal.

"The Jubokko was cool, and Kuchisake-Onna was perfect. But the teke-teke was a little disappointing."

Danzaburo sobered up suddenly. "What teke-teke?"

"You know, the one that chased me. Aw come on man, you don't have to keep up the illusion!"

She was dragging herself forwards again, her spine making the noise that was her name-sake.

"That's not my illusion." Danzaburo whispered.

Zorori's eyes widened. "It's not?"

"On the count of three, we run."

"Got it!"

"One…"

Teke-teke.

"Two…"

Teke-teke.

"Three!"

Zorori turned and bolted, right into the web. Then the air was once again alive with Danzaburo's laughter.

Footnote: Happy Halloween! While I don't have four stories to publish like last year, I did make several 'early Halloween' ones, like the remake of Haunted House and Chillius, this year Journey to Japan has lead us to this.

Originally I think it was just Han Guan meeting Kuchisake-Onna, but I decided that it was a little plain. Then this came along after Zorori and Danzaburo's sort of friendship and Berserker88 cleverly suggested using more than one Japanese legend. I have taken some liberties, but they are scary stories on all of the things Zorori encountered, except maybe the tanuki.

While Zorori did fall asleep I do think that he was paying attention beforehand, notice that the Teke-teke doesn't have a Danza 'monologue'. I could say it's a purposeful device used to show that Zorori wasn't paying attention, but that's just English Literature talking. Interpret it (or rather don't XD) as you will.

I also would like to point out that as far as Halloween fics go... This one is mostly funny.

Zorori is mine.

Danzaburo belongs to Berserker88.

Scary stories belong to Japanese folklore.

This might get editted later, it's just more fitting to publish on Halloween itself.

Anyways, happy candying!