The result of two years of thinking and an apple chewy candy. Not to mention a lack of inspiration. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, Inuyasha, or Final Fantasy VII. However...
Claimer: We DO own the hole.
Once upon a time, there was a hole. It looked like any other hole. It was kind of deep, somewhat dark, and a little damp. You know, the three basic d's of holes. But, though it looked very similar, it was actually quite different. Especially to...it...The hole itself actually could think and was very smart. The hole had many uses. It could store things, hide things, keep things, teleport anything, give advise, talk/explain/help beings (such as giving directions), and many other great uses. Don't believe me? Well, maybe you should pay it a visit. YES! I'm absolutely serious. Did I ever tell you the story of that hole? It's name was Billy Bob Joe Frank Allen George XVIII. But to keep the story short and somewhat interesting to you, I'll shorten it to... Suddenly, the authors and a half eaten apple chewy candy fell through the hole...and the story was no more.
Haha...just kidding. We will now have Kakashi in the story...yay!
Why he was late...
Kakashi Hatake was on his way to meet Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. He had told them not to have breakfast for their first day of training. He had all kinds of plans for them. He grinned mischieviously under his mask and pulled out the book he always carries around: Makeout Paradise. Somehow, he'd never managed to get past the first page. Perhaps he'd have better luck today? It was a long way to the agreed spot. Suddenly, a small shuriken came flying at his head. While dodging, his book was snatched by a strangely large bird. (Guess what? A CHOCOBO!)
"..."
"Kwee!"
The bird turned around and jumped into a small deep, dark, and damp hole in the ground. How it ever fit, he didn't know. But that bird was a thief. So he jumped in after it. Random colors flew everywhere around him as he drifted through the semi darkness. As quickly as they appeared, they phased out and he landed in a heap Gysahl Greens. His eyes widened as he found himself surrounded by more of the large birds, the thief no longer in sight.
He managed to escape from the mob of birds and took a look at his surroundings. Grass...grass...and more grass...wait! Was that a mountain? Nope...just a rock...He stared at it perplexed until a "Kwee!" of pain broke the silence. He ran toward the sound to find that the large bird had been attacked. An orange haired man stood by it smirking. In his hand was the book. Kakashi sighed.
"I, Rufus, shall take over all of Midgar and then the world with this book!"
Several other men in suits stood at his side. Kakashi sighed again and mumbled.
"Stupid power crazy people..."
Three seconds later, they had all been knocked out.
"Now to get my book..."
"I don't think so! Quick boys! Get him!"
Rufus looked around at his dazed minions.
"Err..." he held out the book, "Wanna just call it even?" he said, sweating bullets.
Just as Kakashi was about to grab the book, a flash of black and silver flew past and snatched it out of Rufus's hands.
"Get back here, you book snatcher!" yelled a young girl with a large shuriken followed by several others.
"Hey!" said one of them, with hair that defied gravity, to Kakashi, "Did you happen to see Sephiroth? He's about this tall, has really long silver hair..."
"And is a complete psycho..." added a long haired man in a red cloak with pointy shoes...err...boots.
"You mean that guy?" he said, pointing toward the dark blur running down the plain.
"Yup. That's the one," said a girl with long brown hair in a pink dress.
"I would hope he didn't manage to steal from you as well," said a large red tiger like creature.
"...actually he has," said Kakashi, who immediately ran after Sephiroth.
As he was running, Kakashi had a sudden realization.
"What am I doing? I'm a ninja!"
He used a teleportation jutsu and landed in Sephiroth's path. He did several hand signs and conjured some lightning which fried Sephiroth to a crisp (Mmm...chicken). The book landed on the ground next to said crisp and promptly fell down another hole. Kakashi sighed again and followed. The group arrived at the crispied Sephiroth quite confused. Yuffie happily skipped over and found her book in the pocket of the crispied Sephiroth. As she was walking away she slipped and nearly fell into the hole.
"How'd that get there?"
Meanwhile, Kakashi once again floated through the darkish void but this time landed on a large pile rubble. He observed his surroundings. Not a tree in sight! What kinds of ninjas were these people? There wasn't a single decent place to hide. Large machines on wheels drove past and people were walking around. A loud booming voice caught his attention.
"In the red corner, the Flame Alchemist and hero of the Eastern Rebellion. Colonel Roy Mustang!" it said.
Massive amounts of booing were heard along a lot of nasty comments. The commentator took no notice.
"And in the blue corner, the Full Metal Alchemist and living legend of the people. Let's hear it for Edward Elric!"
More booing and "short" comments.
Kakashi made his way toward the sound. A large crowd surrounded what looked like an arena...or...what used to be an arena. A seemingly youngish man in a uniform and a rather short blond haired boy in red and black seemed to be fighting. There was another explosion that came out of nowhere sending the short boy flying into the air.
"Guess I overdid it..." said the seemingly youngish man.
A silouhette appeared in the smoke.
"Empty Cicada...guess they aren't totally hopeless..." noted Kakashi.
"Ha...need more?" the man said, but then gasped.
The short boy had a blade on his arm that he used to destroy a white glove that Colonel Roy Mustang had.
"Without that glove you can't make flames anymore can you? That's advantage Elric! HA!"
The one called Ed clapped his hands and touched the ground. It glowed and grew into a large cannon. However, the Colonel didn't have the worried look Kakashi expected. He smirked and pulled out his left hand from his pocket to reveal another glove. Ed unleashed a yell of surprise as the Colonel snapped his fingers and the cannon exploded sending Ed flying.
"All war is deception. Think your enemy has a weakness and it becomes his strength. Remember that," said Roy as he approached Ed who was coughing as he sat up in the rubble.
"Just end it."
"You don't have to ask," he said lifting his hand, ready to snap.
A look of fear passed over Roy's face and Ed took the opportunity to point the blade at Roy's throat. They exchanged words with who Kakashi assumed were their superiors and they stayed staring at the large mounds of rubble. They began to dig and fix it. While digging, Roy bent down and picked up a dusty orange book. Kakashi's eyes widened. (dun dun dun)
"What's this...Makeout Paradise?"
"Colonel, what are you doing? You better not be expecting me to clean it all up!"
The colonel shot him a nasty look but it only seemed to anger the little one. They got into a mini brawl and the book went flying into...
"Not another one..."
...a hole. Kakashi sighed and once again followed the book down the hole. The colonel and Ed didn't notice as they glared at each other while returning to fixing the ground...
Meanwhile, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura sat on the grass at the meeting place, their stomachs growling.
More colors, more darkness, and Kakashi fell onto the dirt of a small enclosed space. Light shined from the top.
"A well?"
He looked around for his book but it was nowhere to be seen. Exasperated, he used a jutsu to escape from the well and took a look around. The trees and grass were back...had he returned home? His thoughts were interrupted by a yell.
"Inuyasha...OSUWARI!"
A loud boom followed and once again, Kakashi went toward the noise. Sure enough, there were more people and sure enough, one of them was holding his book. This young man appeared to be a monk. One of the girls walked up behind him as he flipped through it.
"What's that, Miro..." she glanced at the book and glared. She grabbed a large boomerang and clonked him over the head.
"I just picked it up, Sango! What'd you hit me for!"
"And you were just looking through it to find the owner's name.." she said sarcastically.
As they argued, Kakashi snuck up and snatched the book. Yes! The book was once again in his possession! But wait! Where the heck was he? Perhaps if he returned the way he came. He ran back to the well and jumped in.
"What the? Where did you put it, Miroku? Stuff like that needs to be destroyed!"
Sango smacked him over the head again. Kakashi floated through the darkness and appeared a few feet away from the meeting place. Naruto was now lying on the ground moaning in pain from the lack of food with Sakura shaking her head.
He shrugged and walked out to the group...
"All I wanted was a trip to Japan...I got blown up, stepped in, ignored..."
The mumblings continued from the hole as it disappeared.
And that's it Hope you enjoyed it!