-1Chapter one: Harry and The Homeless
Harry awoke in an alley looking around in hopes he would see one of his friends. The wind grazed his face as he noticed a homeless man starring at him. The homeless man spotted Harry and gave him a wink. Harry gasped afraid, not knowing what to do. The homeless man smiled at Harry's confusion and came toward him. Harry looked away trying to avoid the man's eyes, but it was too late and the homeless man grabbed Harry by the head and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Harry threw up.
"You know you want some…" The homeless man said, watching Harry retch, "You can't fight a homeless man's love."
Harry wiped his mouth with his sleeve and kicked the man in the balls. Strangely, Harry didn't feel anything down there to kick.
"Oh my!" Cried Harry before swiftly pulling out his wand. The man smiled as he looked at Harry's….
"Oh shit!" Harry exclaimed. He quickly put his penis away and grabbed his real wand that let out small moaning noises as he waved it around.
"That's no wand!" The homeless man said laughing, "That's my boyfriend's penis!"
Harry yelled and threw 'the wand' and ran away screaming his head off. He didn't get far because another homeless man grabbed Harry in an embrace and began to fondle Harry's items…
"No means no!" Harry bellowed while breaking free of the man's wandering hands. He began to walk quickly not looking back when he realized the weird fondling of his groin hadn't stopped. Looking down, he saw a hand with no arm attached grabbing his crotch.
"Oh shoot, I forgot! All homeless people can detach their body parts!" Harry exclaimed, throwing the hand at the wall.
Harry continued to run, but suddenly he tripped on a stray butt…
"Ah!" Harry yelled and kicked the butt, but the butt attached to Harry's foot and would no let go.
Suddenly, Harry was staring at Hogwarts castle. The butt must have been a portkey and when it farted he was sent to Hogwarts! Looking around he noticed everyone heading to the castle. School was starting and Harry's school year was about to begin. Harry sighed relieved. There were no weird homeless guys at Hogwarts and no detachable butts. Harry walked up to the castle not knowing what lay ahead. Noticing Hermione by the back of her head, he began to approach her but stopped when he noticed something. She was kissing someone, but who? Coming closer he realized that it was none other than Draco Malfoy and they had their tongues in each other's mouths.
"Oh my god!" Harry cried out, "What the hell is going on?"
Hermione ignored Harry. Her and Draco got so into the kiss, they fell over. Next thing Harry knew, Hermione and Draco were doing the do.