Disclaimer: The characters of glee do not belong to me. I had to write this after I saw 4x03. Especially after Rachel was kissing Brody! I knew it was coming, but that doesn't mean I have to be behind it. So this is what I think might and or should happen with Finchel now that Finners has shown up. Definitely in favor of Finchel getting back together. :(

The Other End of the Tether

By Julia

Rachel stopped kissing Brody. There was a knock on the door. She just thought Kurt forgot his key. She got up. She went to the door. Then she opened it. Finn Hudson was standing there. She could hardly believe it. This was all she had wanted for two whole months. Now she didn't know what to do with what she had. Rachel stared at him, her heart pounding. She let out a deep breath. Rachel looked up at Finn. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you stationed somewhere and in your uniform?" She asked, hoping that she didn't offend him. Rachel didn't step back to let him in. She should have. She didn't want this to go badly and she didn't know how to keep it from being so. Her heart was pounding so hard. Rachel ran her hand through her long hair.

Finn looked back at Rachel. She seemed different. She was dressed differently, too. She looked beautiful. Finn ran his hand through his brown hair. He didn't know what to say to her. It had been so long since he'd seen her. Finn was so nervous. She was the one he'd love for all time. He knew that nothing he said was going to make up for what he had done. Finn still regretted breaking up with her. Even if it had seemed like the right thing to do. Finn hadn't wanted to stand in the way of her dreams. Finn nervously ran his hand through his hair, making it stand up. He let out a breath again. "Rachel, I have so much to say to you. I…. I made such a big mistake when I hurt you. I'm sorry. I… I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time. I've never thought I was good enough for you. You are going to be such a big star. I will just hold you back." Tears had filled his eyes. He had so much more to say, and none of the words wanted to come out right. Finn had never been as smart as he could be. He was sure that was his problem.

Rachel's eyes filled with tears too. She didn't know what to say. Her heart pounded hard. Her voice was very shaky as she said, "I still don't know what you're doing here." Rachel was sure she was not strong enough for this. She had not expected him to come back. She had wanted him to more than anything. Now she was ready to move on. Of course now that she had is when Finn came back. She ran her hand through her long hair with a shaking hand. It had not gotten her anywhere, all her dreams of seeing Finn. Except now that he was back. It was too good to be true. She didn't know what to say. Her brain was racing. There was so many things to say. Rachel didn't know where to start first. "You….. you still didn't answer my question. Why are you here?" She asked. That would work for starters.

Letting that linger in the air for a moment, Finn said, "I know, I'm sorry. I… I… there's been a lot going on." He told her, not sure how to explain it all. "I…. I'm sorry for hurting you. You have to know that I didn't mean to hurt you." This all came out in a rush. It was as if he was trying to get it all out before he chickened out. He didn't know if this was working or not. He had to get her to see. He just had to. Finn wanted her back. He knew that he really had no right. Finn had left her. He had done it for her own good. Finn knew, that if they'd gotten married she just would have settled into their married life instead of going for what she really wanted. Broadway. Finn wanted her to have everything she wanted and deserved. It was how he knew he truly loved her. Finn wanted to reach out for her hand, but he didn't. He didn't think she'd let him.

Rachel digested this and then turned to Brody. "Brody, we have a lot to talk about. Can you go?" She asked, and he gave her a nod. Giving him an apologetic smile, she waited until he was gone before she turned back to Finn. "Okay. Let me get this straight. You want me back?" She asked, as she paced around the apartment. Kurt would die if he was here. Finn stepped inside, closing the door behind him. She felt tears pouring down her face. This was almost too much. Rachel couldn't breathe. She took two deep calming breaths as she turned to look at him. "Finn, the hardest thing I ever had to do was get past you leaving me at the train station. I barely made it. I did it because it was so important to you. You said that it had to be this way. You said you wanted me to surrender. I did, Finn. I did what you asked because you said it was the right thing to do. Now you're just back here? I don't….. I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know how I'm supposed to take this. We were happy, Finn. We had a plan. We were going to get married. We were going to be together. You ruined everything, Finn. I was okay with all of this because you were going to do something with your life. I don't know what you want me to do." Rachel felt like her whole world was crashing down on her again. She didn't know if she could do this. Finn didn't know what he was asking.

"I know, Rachel. I'm so so sorry. You know that I didn't want to hurt you, right? I never wanted to hurt you. You are the most important person in my life. I never wanted this. I wanted us to get married. I just, I thought this was the best idea. I knew that if we got married you'd settle into being married and you wouldn't keep your focus. Deferring your acceptance for a year? That wasn't the best idea. I was trying to put you first. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. We have to fix this." Finn didn't know what to say about why he was here. He knew that Rachel wouldn't be proud of him if he told her that he'd been kicked out of the army. It was hard to get kicked out nowadays, especially with the war on. Finn just wished things hadn't gone this way. She just had to let him make it up to her. He would do anything.

Rachel couldn't decide what to tackle first. She supposed that she saw why Finn had done what he had. She just didn't know if she could get back together with him. They were so off and on. Rachel didn't know if they should tempt fate. Maybe they should just let it go. They would always have each other. Rachel's eyes brushed with tears. "Finn, I just don't know if we should get back together." She felt her voice growing soft. She should really be stronger saying this, so Finn would know she really meant it. "I just, I can't do this again. I can't get hurt by you. We've both hurt each other so much…. maybe we should just call it quits." Her knees were shaking. Rachel couldn't believe this. She let out a deep breath. Her face was full of tears, and she was sure she looked a mess. Rachel shook her head when Finn tried to comfort her. She didn't think she could get through this if he touched her.

Finn hated that he had made her feel this way. His heart was dropping as the severity of her words fell on him. She could not be serious. He didn't know what to do now. "Rachel, no…. please. Think about this. You can't be serious. I don't want to lose you! I can't live without you! Please, Rachel. Hear me out, okay? I am so so sorry. I'll do my best not to hurt you anymore. Please. I care about you. I want us to work through this. Please. It can't…. it can't be over." Finn's own face was full of tears. He wiped his eyes and tried stepping closer to her. She let him but she shook her head when he tried to touch her arm. Finn sniffled. He wiped his eyes. "Rachel, please. I love you so much. I love you, only you. I've never loved anyone but you. I will never love anyone but you." Finn hoped that she would forgive him. He cared so much. "I'll do anything you want me to to make it up to you. Maybe the fourth time's a charm." He said. Had they really broken up three times?

This sounded good, but Rachel just wasn't sure if she should let him convince her. Those two months without him had been the hardest of her life. She had been miserable. She had even been without Kurt. Rachel didn't know how she had been able to do it without him. She had been glad that she'd been in New York, but she'd had no one. It had been so lonely and she hadn't known how she'd get through each day without him. Rachel grabbed a box of tissues and took a few. She didn't offer any to Finn, but he took a couple anyway. Rachel wiped her eyes. She was so scared and nervous. Rachel was sure she was about to take him back, Rachel had never been able to say no to him for very long. Look how he had been able to get to her after Nationals their junior year. She had been very sure about the course she had chosen. He'd kissed her and everything had changed. Rachel was sure that she would regret it if she took him back. She was always ending up hurt because of him. Although, she had hurt him, too. They just didn't' work, they just hurt each other. "Finn, please. You still haven't told me why you're here. You enrolled in the army! You can't just leave whenever you feel like it!" She told him.

"I know that, Rachel!" Finn cried, frustration coming out in his voice. He didn't want to yell and get angry. He forced himself to breathe slowly. Now he was a little calmer. "I know, Rachel." He repeated slowly. "They kicked me out, okay? I'm nothing. I broke up with you for nothing. I was only in the army for two months and then I was kicked out." Finn wasn't going to tell her why. It was just made him look like a loser. He ran his hand through his hair. He was more nervous than ever. Finn didn't know how to make this sound not pathetic. "I love you so much, Rachel. I know that I hurt you, I know that what I did was the worst thing. Giving this up to fate. We should talk about this, Rachel. Please. I lost everything, just like you did. Except now that you've got NYADA, you're one up on me." Finn had not forgotten that he had thought that Rachel going to college while he had a job and worked had been an awful feeling. It's not as if he was good enough for her anyway. Finn knew he wasn't.

Rachel was not sure how to take any of that. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what Finn felt. She knew he had to be devastated, he had been serious about being in the army. He had wanted to avenge his father so badly. Rachel was proud of him for wanting to. Rachel didn't know what to say that wouldn't hurt him or upset him. "Finn, I'm sorry." She started. "I know that you really were serious about it." She said. It had been pointless, him breaking up with her. She tried to hold in her anger, though, because it's not as if he knew he'd get kicked out of the army. He wouldn't have been able to predict that. So it's not like it was his fault. She tucked back her hair with her shaking hands.

Finn let out a deep breath. He was glad she hadn't yelled. He said, "That means a lot. I…. I never thought that would happen. I just don't know what to do now. I had no other plan after the army didn't work out. I… I was so stupid!" He yelled, frustrated. "I should have planned better! I don't….. I don't know how I did this! I so wanted to have everything figured out! And now I don't! If I don't figure things out I have to go back home to Lima!" He let out a breath, pausing in his ranting. "I'm sorry, to lay all that out on you, I know that it's not your fault." He said. "I also know it's not your problem." Finn wanted her to know that he didn't expect anything of her. Take some pressure off. He felt so bad, and at first he'd been very happy to see her. Finn still felt so bad. He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. He had changed their lives so much. All he had to do was say maybe they put off the wedding, and he'd made everything worse. He didn't know how Rachel didn't hate him.

Touching his shoulder and breaking her rule, she said, "It's okay. You will figure out something out. You can't just hide for the rest of your life, Finn. You can get something temporary, apply to community college, get some better grades. Your life is not over." She said, nodding. Rachel felt weird, encouraging him like that. She felt like she wanted to be screaming herself hoarse at Finn. She didn't blame him for everything, but she blamed him for some of it. She wasn't sure she could get all of the words out right. She didn't have the strength right now, either. She was never at a loss for words. It was really putting her in a very uncomfortable place. Finn didn't get how she felt. He usually didn't, and that was okay. Rachel was a very complicated girl. Most people didn't get her. Finn was the one person outside of her dads that came the closest. She just didn't know how to make him see why they were a bad idea right now. Maybe later. Rachel didn't ever think she could put Brody first. She had liked kissing him but there was no way that he would ever mean to her what Finn did. Even if it was complicated.

Finn sniffled and went to grab some more tissues. He wiped his eyes. Finn didn't know what to say now. Rachel had comforted him, and she didn't have to. He lifted his gaze to her. "I'm sorry. You'll never know how much. I can go if you don't really want me here. It's just, all I could think of was you. I had to be near you. I had to try. I just couldn't live without you anymore." Finn said, sighing. He touched Rachel's arm, and then turned to head towards the door. He was really hoping that she would stop him. He didn't really want to go. He wanted to stay with her and talk this out. He knew it was late, so he was prepared for her to say no. Finn just wanted her back.

She just wanted to speak up. She really did. She just wasn't sure that she could. Rachel was so nervous. All the feelings she had were brimming to the surface. Rachel let out a sigh. She touched his hand, letting her fingers lace with his. She held on for a few moments and let go. "I don't know that I want to get back together with you right now." Rachel knew that he didn't want to hear about that. She just couldn't put herself through being with him right now. It was very exhausting. They always were so off and on. She couldn't handle them breaking up again. "Finn, I know you don't want to hear this. I know. And that's okay. I just, I can't go through us breaking up again." Rachel sighed. She ran her hand through her long brown hair. Finn looked very disappointed. She didn't know what more to say. She clasped her hands in front of her. This was hard. One of the hardest things she had ever done. She forced herself to breathe slowly. She braced herself, waiting for Finn to protest.

She couldn't be nervous. Finn knew this was his fault. He knew that it was his actions and his words that were leading her to say that. He took a deep shaky breath. Whatever the consequences were he'd have to deal with them. Finn hated this, the whole thing was ludicrous. He should never have put them in this position in the first place. Finn turned to look at her. His brown eyes were wide. He ran his hand through his hair again, messing it up once again. "Please, Rachel. I want to get back together. I won't hurt you again. I promise. I can't be without you. I don't care what I have to do. Just tell me what you want." Finn hoped that it would work. That Rachel would take him up on it. He just had to have her back. Finn would really do anything to have her back. Finn rubbed his chin. He didn't know what he could do with his hands. Nothing felt right now. "Are you going to get together with that guy that was here? I mean, he's…. he seemed nice."

"That was Brody, and it doesn't matter what I was doing with him. It's no longer none of your business. We are no longer together. You don't get to decide who I date and who I don't." Rachel said, letting out a soft sigh. She didn't want to argue with him. One of the reasons she was tired of being with him. Rachel thought that maybe them breaking up might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe it had been what they needed. "I'm sorry, Finn. I just don't think that it's a good idea. One of the two of us always ends up getting clobbered. I'm tired of that. We need to just be friends and get it over with."

That's when Finn grabbed her around the waist and planted his lips on hers. He even dipped her. She let out a soft sigh when he pulled back. "You can't say no when I kiss you like that. You felt that all over, I know you did." Finn said. He had to be getting through to her. Finn was glad that she hadn't pushed him away yet. Finn loved her so much. He held her close. He kissed her again. This time she groaned against his mouth. Finn was heartened. He knew kissing her would work. Finn stroked her cheek with one of his hands. She still didn't pull away. That was a good sign. Finn looked at her and said softly, "Rachel you kissed me back. I felt it. You want to be with me. You know you do."

Rachel looked back at him. She was focused on Finn's lips. She wanted him to kiss her again. She didn't know how to get him to do it again without admitting that she did want him back, despite all of what she said about not taking him back. Rachel didn't know how to say that. All she could do was look at him. He was so very handsome. Rachel gave a soft whimper. "Oh, Finn." She finally said. She stroked his chest, her fingers going slowly. She was so close to agreeing to take him back. Rachel was so nervous. Her stomach was full of butterflies. She didn't know how he was able to hget to her like that. Rachel sighed and lifted her brown eyes to Finn's. "I'm sorry that we're in this boat." She hedged.

Smiling, Finn pressed his lips to Rachel's again. She groaned against his lips again. Finn eased her towards what he thought was her bed. She didn't stop him. That was good too. Finn laid softly on top of her, still kissing her as he kept one arm tight around her waist. He pressed close without pressing too close. Finn deepened the kiss. Rachel moaned again, her hands on his back. She was trying not to scratch his back. She was on fire, Finn could tell. He put his other hand on her stomach. He wanted to kick it up a notch, but he didn't want to push his luck. She was responding so far. That was a great sign. Finn decided that he would let her set the pace.

Rachel pressed tighter against him, arching her back hard. She was growing wet already. She tugged at Finn's hoodie, getting it off his shoulders and then yanking his shirt off. He was so amazing without his shirt on. Rachel had never understood why Finn was always having to deal with Santana putting him down about his weight. She was just glad that the Latina seemed to have backed off about all of that. She was sure that Finn was glad that she was willing. Rachel hadn't slept with Finn or anyone in awhile. She had needs. Rachel still couldn't believe that she had given it up to Finn already. She supposed she didn't regret it, because it had been amazing. Rachel kissed Finn some more, her hands on Finn's back again. She reached one around to undo Finn's pants. He had on jeans with a belt. She had them undone very shortly. He was surprised but going with it. They stopped kissing long enough so they could pull off Rachel's shirt. Rachel undid the hook on her own bra and Finn worked it off her breasts. "Oh, condom!" Rachel cried.

Finn knew he was out. "Um, don't have any. Kurt?" He asked. Rachel shrugged. "I'll check his room." Finn said, and hurried into his brother's immaculate room. Trying not to think about Kurt sleeping with Blaine, Finn got into Kurt's bedside table to look for condoms. He was glad to find some. He grabbed one, again trying not to think about the fact that Kurt's condoms were the same size as his. Then he hurried back out to Rachel. She was completely naked when he came back. He gave her a huge grin. Finn opened the wrapper with his teeth and carefully worked it onto his length. Then he straddled her, and grinned down at her. "Are you ready?" He asked, not wanting to hurt her.

Her nod was quick. "Yes." She panted, and her hips jerked up to him. "Come on, let's go." Rachel said, not wanting to be vulgar about it. She just wanted him to get inside her, Finn was good at sex. She just wanted him right now. Her hands gathered on his hips, ready for him to slip inside her.

Lowering himself even more above her, Finn parted her legs with his knee and worked himself inside her. He went slow until he was fully in, and then his hips began to rock. Rachel immediately let out a soft sigh and put her hands on his ass, holding him in. She gripped it tightly. Finn leaned and kissed her while he was thrusting. She kissed him back. Eagerly, even. Finn had never dreamed that this would be happening. When he'd come over he'd expected a lot of fighting, but this, never. His breath started coming faster. There was no way he was coming already. Finn would hate himself. This was a very big deal. Finn hadn't slept with her or anyone in a long while. He just couldn't stop right now.

Rachel's back was arching hard again, and she gasped out loud. Very loudly. She was enjoying herself. Immensely. She was panting, and she knew her orgasm was coming. She cried out Finn's name and scratched his ass. He cried out but he didn't mind. Rachel was soon coming, and she was a little embarrassed, but she was glad that she had had sex with him. Once he had come, and slid out of her, panting exhaustedly, Rachel turned to look at him. "What does this mean?" She asked. It was mostly a moot point, because she knew what Finn wanted it to mean. He wanted it to mean that they were getting back together. She had to admit, it might not be a bad idea.

Finn smiled at her. "Let's get back together, Rachel. I know you said you were against it, but please. It would mean so much to me. I promise, we'll figure everything out. I don't want to hurt you anymore, okay?" He asked. He really didn't want to hurt her. Finn vowed he never would again.

Looking into his eager eyes, Rachel tried to look happy as she replied. It felt right now, getting back together. She didn't know why she had been resisting. It was amazing. Brody would understand. She gave him one of her best Rachel Berry smiles. "Okay. Let's do it."

Author's note: So, I had to write this. Esp because I doubt that they are ever going to give us happy Finchel again. Hope you liked! Damn RIB. Seriously. Damn mofos.