Summary: Set during 'Forever'. Well meaning people ask the stupidest question, and Buffy tries to deal.
Notes: This was something that I couldn't get out of my head due to recent events, so I sat down and started typing.
Disclaimer: It belongs to Joss, who I want to thank for giving us permission to play in his world. The man is a genius, and kind to boot.
THE STUPIDEST QUESTION
By screaminheathen69
Buffy Summers stood beside her mother's grave, trying to keep it together. The service had just concluded, and now, as friends and family alike slowly left the grave site, came the part that she truly dreaded.
Lying to all these people when they asked the question.
That question.
The stupidest, most ridiculous thing that somebody can ask you at a time like this.
It was something she'd never quite been able to understand, and had a tendency to drive her buggy. She knew they all meant well, and that it was asked out of concern and love, but for the life of her, she could never understand why people always insist on asking you 'How are you doing?' after you've lost a loved one.
I mean, seriously, how do they think you're doing right about then?
She'd already endured days of it, and knew that there were many more yet to come. Strong as she was, she felt she'd be able to endure, as she had up to now.
But here, now, was another story.
They were about to put her mother in a hole in the ground.
Suffice it to say, all was not right with the world.
She wanted to go away somewhere where she could curl up into a tiny little ball and just lose it.
But no, she was the eldest now, she had to be the strong one. So, as her friends and her family stopped and hugged her, and asked her that Godawful question, she put on her brave face.
And lied. "Oh, we're okay... It's been tough, but we're dealing... We'll manage... We're doing alright..." and so on, and so on...
All the while, feeling that if just one more person asked her how she was doing that she was going to have to hurt somebody.
Or, maybe, tell them the truth.
Somehow, she kept herself reined in.
Dying just a little more inside each time.
So it was a relief, of a sort, when she was finally left alone, standing vigil by Joyce's grave. Not to have to lie, or smile, or put on a brave face, or be strong for Dawn.
She could simply be numb.
So that when, hours later when Angel stole up beside her and took her hand in his, and asked her 'How're you doing?', she was able to simply sigh.
And tell him, truthfully, just exactly how she was doing.
For Irene and Lois
Two of the kindest souls I've ever known
I miss you
'To thee no star be dark, both Heaven and Earth, friend thee forever...'
In the last month, we've lost a great-aunt and great-grandmother, so this question has, oddly enough, come up a lot. I stopped asking it myself years ago. But it still preys on my mind, a bit. The result was this little fic.