There was only one big problem about having a sibling of the opposite sex: They were the opposite sex. It was something that made understanding the other a little more difficult, not to mention it was so much harder to have the other respect your needed privacy. There were countless of times Kenny can remember his brother and him walking in on his little sister while she was changing, and countless of times where she walked in on them doing... stuff. It didn't help that he had to share a room with Kevin, though it didn't make much of a difference since Kevin was there less and less.
Kenny can remember the first time Kevin left the house for more than three days, because Karen had gone into his room in the middle of the night and asked simply, "Where's Kevin?" Kenny didn't have an answer. He did not know the answer. And everytime, Kenny still never had an answer.
More and more often, Kenny would be hearing the question, "Where's Kevin?" from his litte sister's small voice whenever no one else was around to hear and he prayed to God every time he heard it that those questions would never turn into, "Where's Kenny?"
Sometimes, Karen noticed the little things that made Kenny wish he was the naive one asking all the questions, like when Karen asked about that funny smell or the weird noises coming from Mom and Dad's room. It was even worse when she started over analyzing the bigger things. More often, when Mom and Dad were yelling again, and somehow Kenny found himself in the middle of it, and Karen was locked up in her room, Karen would once again sneak into Kenny's room late in the night and ask, "Why were you fighting with Mom and Dad?" Sometimes the questions were more thorough, asking, "What happened to your cheek? What's wrong with your stomach? Where did those cuts and burns come from?" This time, Kenny did know the answers. Karen never got to hear them though.
It became a daily occurrence of sorts for Karen to question Kenny on things like Kevin's absence, or Kenny's bruises, or that funny smell coming from their parents' room. Everytime, Karen would get an empty explanation, with still so many gaps needing to be filled with the knowledge Kenny prayed she would never be granted. Kenny did not want to be the one to later inform his innocent little sister that the bruises on his face were from Daddy hitting him, or the burns were from Daddy's cigarettes. He didn't want to be the one to tell his sister that those funny sounds were their parents beating each other up, coughing up their smokers' lungs, fucking each other into the mattress. When Kenny finally turned thirteen and Kevin brought him along for one of his little "expeditions" Kenny didn't want to be the one to tell her that everytime Kevin leaves, he goes out partying, getting drunk, driving around neighborhoods, trashing houses and parks, having sex with older girls, vandalizing buildings, getting high... The list went on. And Kenny most definitely, over his undying soul, never wanted to tell his innocent little sister that when Kevin brought him along for that one expedition, he enjoyed every fucking second of it.
So when Karen snuck into Kenny's room two nights later for her nightly visit, Kenny's worse nightmare came true, for his praying was all for not.
"Where were you, Kenny?"
Over time, they all grew older. Less naive. Karen knew where Kevin went. Karen knew why Kenny never told her. Eventually, Karen knew where Kenny went as well. It turned out Kenny didn't have to tell Karen anything, because soon she stopped asking questions, yet the nightly visits did not stop. Everytime after a long day of fighting and bruises, after a missing Kevin, after funny smells and noises, Kenny always found himself cradling the small body of his younger sister in thin bundles of blankets through the night, both content for just that one moment in life where it was only the two of them. For the time being, they could both forget. For one night, nothing was wrong in life.
Kenny cherished the hours where his sister would crawl into his bed and simply lie with him. At night they talked, they laughed. They daydreamed. Made figures out of the popcorn cieling like they were constellations. Sometimes they cried, and sometimes, they said nothing at all. To Kenny, it didn't matter what happened each night, as long as it happened. For years, the nights were constant, and it was an unspoken ritual that they knew would happen, and looked forward to. Kenny will always remember how it started, but unfortunately, he'll always remember how it ended as well.
When Karen turned thirteen, Kenny couldn't believe the huge step she took into the large and thorned path of becoming a teenager. Then he recalled Kevin's big step into life after he turned thirteen, and recalled his own big step at the same age. The pattern was unnerving, and all Kenny could think about was the crazy shit he had done - still does,thinking it was cool and fun, and now his little sister was going to do the same thing. Once again, Kenny prayed for the one person and thing he ever prayed for. He prayed that the innocent little girl he once knew would stay that innocent little girl. That the beautiful glow radiating from one simple smile on that dirtied and beat up face would forever shine. That the curious and naive mind he loved so much would never learn of the cruel slap of reality life loved to throw at you. He prayed, like he once did before, and like before, his praying was in vain.
Kenny noticed the sudden change in Karen's appearance. In her attitude. On one morning, Kenny had to do a double take, because yes: Karen did, in fact, have breasts, and she was splaying them out for the entire world to see. It wasn't until that day did Kenny realize that Karen had indeed been growing up all this time, and he was too stubborn and scared to even see it. It was disturbing to think that his sister would soon grow into one of those girls that he loved to flirt and oggle at so much. Still, he couldn't see it ever happening. Couldn't see perverse boys strolling up to his little sister and hitting her up while they fantasized about all the ways they could have her lying beneath them. Couldn't imagine his little sister enjoying such attention, so easily giving up all that she is for the sake of one sick, selfish boy.
Kenny could have choked with the realizaton of what his life really was.
He was nothing but that boy, living in his own world as he went along, nudging himself onto these unexpecting girls that were once so sweet, so innocent, so Karen. Nothing but quiet girls raging on the inside with all their daddy issues, waiting for something to finally allow them to leave the chaotic confines of their own troubled minds. It always played out the same for those girls; all it took was one move from a cocky fucker who was eager to lay, not only his charm, but his greedy little fingers, on the clean and fresh beauty of such a flower, and the deal was sealed. Those girls could never be the same after that.
In a panic and sad attempt to stop said scenarios that he lived on everyday to happen to his Karen, he decided it was time to put his big brother authority to use. Unfortunately he only succeeded in making himself turn out like a dick instead of an elder, and it was hard to get back on track after that. Karen became so bitter towards him, and he couldn't stop himself from retaliating in kind to such snippy comebacks and dismissals, and where had he gone wrong?
He had just about had it the day Karen brought home: "This is my friend..." Which repeated for a few more weeks until one day another boy came along who became, "My boyfriend..." Kenny wouldn't be exaggering if he said that boy was only around for three weeks until Karen marched into his room one day to rip Kenny's head off for being an asshole and ruining her life before she slammed his door shut and locked herself up in her room for the remainder of the weekend. Kenny couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever encounter an over-protective and pissed off brother who would beat him up upon discovering his relations with his sister after the act he'd committed. It was not without reason though, and if all big brothers worked the same, then he'd like to think he was safe in that area.
Though Karen and her boyfriend were in different grades than Kenny, it was not only a small town, but an even smaller school, which made it quite easy to know the happenings of all the freshmen. It was this way that Kenny found out the boyfriend was a sophmore who had a thing for "younger girls" (dumbass) and Karen wasn't the only one getting the "love." Yes, it was stupid of Kenny to deliberately go out of his way to sneak into his sister's business, but it seemed to be worth it after finding the useless piece of shit Karen refered to as her "first love" macking it up with some other eager brunette. Of course, the only logically and right thing to do as a big brother was to beat the shit out of the stupid fuck, right?
Apparently that wasn't the case. Kenny never regretted it though. Kenny may love a woman's body with a passion and have no problem with jumping right on to his next conquest and breaking a few hearts along the way, but he could never willingly cheat on someone. One girl at a time was his rule, and though the relationships went by quicker that way, he refused to be the "two timing jerk." His friends had argued that he might as well cheat on the girls he dates because of the short gaps in between each one, but he still argued that there was a difference.
The day Karen cheated on a boy, Kenny, for the first time, wanted to hit his sister. Instead he opted for giving her the silent treatment while Kevin praised her and joined in on the plan to break it off with the poor fellow. Kenny had been out of it for a couple days until he went up to his current girlfriend of only three months and asked her if she'd ever cheat on him. Of course she took it the wrong way, and the conversation ended with her accusing him of cheating and dumping him on the spot. Kenny didn't bother trying to get her back. He was bored of her anyway.
For a long while after that, Kenny was single, or as he and his friends liked to put it, "available." It was hard to look at all the lovely ladies strutting along with their short shorts and curled hair without thinking of how fast his sister joined their ranks. Kenny almost contemplated switching over to the other team and forever staying their for the sake of forgetting how decieving girls like what his sister had become could be.
Then one day, something was... off. A sudden occurence that Kenny lied to himself about praying for, because such fears were unimaginable, unreal.
Late one night, Kenny lied in his bed, not necessarily thinking about anything, until he heard his door opening, and just like that, like a knife cutting through soft butter, a petite and curvy body was slipping into his bed, pressing against him in the small room that was left. They had both grown since all those years ago when they first shared a bed, though neither payed heed to the lack of space on the mattress that once was able to hold the two of them along with Karen's over sized, stuffed animals as they lay in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Neither spoke in favor of not breaking the spell that kept them bound to where they were.
In that moment, Kenny allowed himself to think about all the times he screwed up, and about all the times his parents screwed up, and all the times Kevin screwed up, all the times Karen screwed up. He thought about all he had done, and then everything he did after that to keep Karen from doing the same stupid crap. It didn't work though, and all of Kenny's praying was in vain, because here they were, lying in Kenny's bed late into the night, their haven when things got too hard and all they wanted was to forget. That was the purpose for these nightly visits, and at that moment it was serving its purpose. It was mending a broken innocence that was losing its last bit of light. And when Karen finally let go, sobbing in her big brother's arms, what seemed like nonsense to anyone else pouring out of her mouth, Kenny knew.
The next morning, Kenny awoke to an empty bed, and he didn't bother searching, knowing he'd come up empty handed. He didn't leave his room that day, nor did he answer his texts or calls, nor did he get up when he heard his mother worriedly banging on his door, demanding and questioning him from the other side. He lost track of time eventually, and somewhere along the way, he found himself muttering softly, "Where's Karen?"