A/N: Hey y'all! I'm new to fanfic, in fact, this is my first story! I figured I'd start with something little, then, if I actually have any talent at all, I'll keep going with other fanfics! Please R n R, I know I'm terrible, but still, reviews would be much appreciated!
Warning: This fic contains sexual references, and very coarse language, don't say I didn't warn you!... oh yeah, and it has drug references, although noone really uses any apart from alchohol...
It was a warm summer day at the beach just like about every day that Summer. However, today something was different. Karen had just gotten a part-time job as a lifesaver (although she only worked there on Sundays because of her job at the Supermarket, but she didn't really do any work there anyway). Every single young guy in town had taken a sudden liking to the beach for some reason, too. Well, everyone except Cliff, who was basking in Ann's glory, and Gray, who had a cute but psychotic crush over Mary. br br
The guys sat on the beach drooling as Karen took yet another swig from her 12'321'678th bottle of wine that day. She was wearing a rather revealing white bikini, and was stretched out flat in a beach chair, completely unaware of her little fan club. "Dude", said Kai, eyes not moving from the sunbathing beauty. "We have got to do something man". Rick shot a suspicious glare at Kai. "Hey, aren't you already going out with my sister?" he asked, glasses reflecting so much sunlight that they fried a seagull flying innocently over the ocean a kilometre away. "Not anymore" said Kai, still not looking away from the hot one. Rick gave him a cold stare (which ended up evaporating most of the ocean, thanks to his glasses) and punched him feebly in the leg, although Kai didn't actually feel it. "What are you smiling about?" Tim, the doctor, asked the new bot from the farm, Jack. This surprised the other two boys, the other two had been so silent they had forgotten they were there. "Guys", said Jack, cheesy grin bigger than ever, "I have a plan!".
Without another word, Jack stood up and started walking towards the jetty. "Hey Jack, what are you doing!" cried Kai. "We all know you're a crap swimmer from the festival, don't go out too deep!" but Jack had already started to make his way towards the very edge of the jetty. Then, still wearing that pathetic cheesy grin, he jumped off. "AAAAHHHH!" Jack screamed as he sunk towards the bottle. Seeing the idiot sinking to the bottom, Karen quickly grabbed a bottle of Heaven's gate that wasn't supposed to exist anymore, and, as she skulled it, corny music started…
"She's Karen the drunken girl, She's Karen the drunken girl,
She's cool, she's hot, she's had too much pot,
She's Karen the drunken girl!"
and with that reference to Popeye, Karen dived into the water in a drunken haze, retrieved the stupid sinker, and brought him to the beach. She immediately started doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOLLY!" screamed the pathetic Rick, who was running around in circle repetitively by this point. "FUCK, SHIT, FUCK, SHIT, FUCK!" exclaimed Kai, grasping at his purple bandanna. "Feh", said the doctor, as he stared at Karen's side-boob. Then something caught the guys' eyes. Jack's eye opened for a brief second, winked, then closed as he went "unconscious" again. "That filthy son of a bitch!" Kai said, now too entranced by Karen's side-boob. Jack opened his eye and winked again. This time he wasn't lucky. "What the fu… YOU SLIMY PIECE OF SHIT… GET BACK HERE!", screamed Karen, as Jack stood up and started bolting down the beach. "I'll get you you mothe….cking bi…" Karen's voice could now only faintly be heard over the noise of the boys laughing harder than they ever had, plus the sound of someone being punched in the distance.
A/N: So... what did you think? Constructive critisism would be much appreciated!