Notes: I haven't written an X-Files fanfic a couple of years. This is just a short piece inspired by a lonely night.
~*~
To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
I walked into that office as naive as a newborn. I walked out of that office countless times, each time carrying with me a new burden.
He lost me, I lost him, that's the way the world worked. We learned to live with it, but it was never easy. I lost him once, a long time ago. I thought it was for good. But God gave me a miracle one day and brought him back. In a few short months, he was ripped away from me again, two souls torn apart. I yearned for him, cried out for him.
He came back to me, he always did. He came back to William and I. He came back, swept me up into his arms and cried tears of joy. My own tears mingled with his own. He whispered into my ear, "I'll never leave you again, I promise."
He kept his promise, and he never left me. I left him. He prayed for a miracle from the God that he long since stopped believing in. He whispered to William and told him, "I'll bring Mommy back, I promise I will." He couldn't find me, and I remained lost to him.
I watched him, with our sons, throughout the years. I was there on his first day of school, I was there when he came home crying because some 'mean ugly boy' had stolen his favourite action figure. I saw him playing catch with his father and I saw him play on the school basketball team. I watched his first tentative adventure in the car and I watched him graduate.
He never faltered, raising our son. I'm proud. I see him sometimes, sitting alone, remembering how it used to be. The office adorned with newspaper clippings and posters. The ceiling riddled with holes from dozens of pencils. The nameplate on the desk. The trash can that had, on more than one occasion, taken the brunt of his frustrations. He remembers baseball, non fat tofutti rice dreamsicles and tofurkey zombies.
I remember with him, recalling names such as Fowley, Praise, Spender, and Krycek. I think fondly of Skinner, Byers, Langly, Frohike, Doggett and Reyes. They used visit him from time to time, him and William.
Will you tell me about my mother?
What do you want to know?
What did she look like? Was she pretty? Jeremy says his mother's really pretty.
She had red hair and blue eyes. She was very pretty. I have a picture of her, would you like to see it?
Yes, I want to see it. Was she nice?
She was the nicest person I ever met.
They had that conversation countless times. Each time ending with a different story. It was hard for me to watch them then, aching to touch William's fine hair.
William is grown now, moved away. I've been watching for so long. I have to watch longer though, until he can find me again. We've always found each other before, it's only a matter of time.