AN: I tend to listen to Pandora often and just recently started writing short stories based on the songs it randomizes. This chapter revolves around the song Numb by Linkin Park. Bioware owns Dragon Age and the song to the artist mentioned. Enjoy!
Alistair stares at the Warden standing next to him as if looking upon her for the first time. In the beginning he had cared for her greatly, cared for her more than he had anyone in his life with the exception of Duncan. He never argued when she took the lead after Ostagar. He had been happy to fall in line, to follow in her steps and he liked it that way. A love for his fellow Warden formed but in Redcliffe, when he revealed to her that he was Maric's bastard, things started to change. Subtlety at first, little changes in her that he barely noticed, but after he declared his love for her the changes became obvious. He had tried to ignore it, to deny it all, convince himself that this woman truly loved him and cared for him. There was a time when he thought he might be happy married to the woman at his side, but any trace of that affection had begun to fade long ago leaving him hollow inside. She was going to force him to be king, something he had never wanted. Then she would rule beside him as queen. No, not beside him, there would be no sharing of power; she would do to him what Anora had done to Cailan. He had only been a puppet to be strung along until needed. She had only been out for herself all along, if her choices up to this point didn't prove it then this final one did. She spared Logain, gave him the honor of being a Warden instead of the death he deserved for his crimes. Alistair wanted to scream and yell, to curse Logain and the Warden at his side, but instead he just turned from the Landsmeet ignoring all attempts to stop him and left Fereldan that day. The land he had once loved, the order he had once loved, and the woman who he once loved. He was tired of it all and wanted to drown the pain, the sorrow he felt. He just wanted to be numb…