Hey Everyone :) I know, I haven't completed my other story yet, but I'm working on it... This idea has been with me for a while now so I thought you might enjoy it. All mistakes are mine. Please share your thoughts, questions, requests and future ideas you like incorporated.

I don't know which perspective the story should be but for now, this chapter is Arizona's POV.

Callie and Arizona are separated/divorced & Callie lives in New York with Sofia

Italics are flashbacks and other settings.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Four cuts and shards of glass. Four scars and a reflection of the past, I did it four times to ease the pain, to feel something.

I watch the blood drip into the sink, washing away with the water from the null, the sound soothes me.

My eyes become heavy as I began my descent to the bathroom floor, all I can think about is my Calliope.

"We are wasting time, running in circles. I am constantly trying to fix us and it has been killing me slowly. So go be happy over here while I will be happy over there."

"If you walk out the door, we are over."

"We are standing in the middle of a bar screaming at each other. We are already over."

She hands me our wedding ring. Our vows ringing in my head. 'For better or worse'

"Callie, please, no, don't-please" The tears are freely falling from my eyes as I watch the black Mercedes drive away.

Not once did she turn around and look back.

When did everything come crashing down? How did I get here? These questions clutter my mind as I fall into the darkness.

I don't know how much time has gone by but the darkness is gone, and all I see is light. I feel no pain... Nothing hurts, so maybe this is the end. If I'm not with her, at least I'm not in this world.

"V-Fib!"

Wait, v-fib, Ventricular fibrillation, that means my heart is about to stop which means I am alive. The figures silhouettes are fading into the light, I can't see anything, why is it so bright here?

"This isn't where I want to be… but am I even good for anything? Should I stay or leave?" A familiar figure comes into my view interrupting my thoughts, Mark. "Mark, why are you here"

"Hey, Blondie... I miss you but you don't belong here, not yet, the world needs you."

"Mark.. I am a failure, Callie has been so good to me, I cheated on her. I already failed you, you said to take care of your girls, I didn't...s-sorry."

"You are not a failure, you haven't failed anyone, you just lost yourself. It's human"

"It is time for you to get up, you need to save your family, she can live without but not happily. Now promise me that you won't harm yourself ever, not after this incident."

"I promise.."

"We have a pulse!"

Great... More noise, can't they all shut up for one second. Groggily, I open my eyes to several different voices. I groan in return. As I blink out of my daze, I look over the see my left wrist cover by a perfect white bandage. Moving my eyes to take in my surroundings I see all my friends, who don't seem so friendly right now.

"YOU ARE SO STUPID. Did you not think about us!? Do we not mean anything to you, Arizona?" Addison screams.

"I-I'm so..." I croak. "I am not done,"

"What if no one found you? What would we have done if you didn't make it, what would we do? What would I do? God, you didn't even think about everyone did you, I hate you. You are a selfish bitch" Callie shouts, her eyes red and puffy.

She is right, I am selfish. I didn't think about my friends who have become my family, the only family I have, or my patients who rely on me. I did not think that many people would be affected by this... I never thought about the consequences.

I smile.