A/N: Hermione's a bit exaggerated here, but it was all for the purpose of fun, and I hope you find it amusing.
Disclaimer: Can I just type 'disclaimer' and be done with it? I don't own anything. Not even the computer I'm using right now.
When the Weasley twins made their dramatic exit from Hogwarts, even Hermione had to admit that they did a good job, and Umbridge deserved it. Then again, Umbridge deserved everything she got, if not worse.
But it was when they opened their shop that she began to protest, although not exactly for the reasons she'd had when they were still in school.
"No," Hermione breathed when she saw the shop's extra-large sign for the first time in Diagon Alley. Then- "No. NO!"
"Hermione!" Harry and Ron exclaimed in alarm. "Are you all right?" "What's wrong, I thought-"
Too late. She was already marching into the shop, demanding to see the owners, yelling once she saw one of the two explaining to a young boy how Puking Pastilles worked.
"Why, hello, Hermione-" George began amiably.
"Are you kidding me? This is an absolute ABOMINATION!" she screeched, furiously gesturing towards the sign in the front of the shop.
"Oh, you don't like it? Well, blame Fred, he was the one who absolutely insisted we make that floating comma thingie the colour of Dolores Umbridge's hat- terribly ugly shade, isn't that, I told him-"
"That's EXACTLY the problem!" Hermione hollered, intimidating the young boy, who ran off in the opposite direction, eyes wide.
"Oh, blimey, you've scared off a customer," George commented casually. "Well, that's alright, we've got so much business one less little kid won't make a difference-"
"Would you be quiet and listen?" Hermione suggested rather forcefully. "It's a wonder you have any customers at all, with such a terrible error on your-"
"Error? Error? Where?" George asked frantically. "Is it on the sign? 'Cause Fred was the one who-"
Just then Fred strolled in, interrupting their already choppy conversation. "I heard my name mentioned! Are my services required?"
"As a matter of fact, yes," snapped Hermione. "You guys- I can't believe this, your sign- it- oh, ugh," she groaned in distress. "Absolutely horrifying that you could put the apostrophe in the wrong place, I mean, how old are you-"
"Eighteen," they answered in unison. Then George added, "What in the name of Merlin is an apostrophe?"
Hermione looked as though she might faint. Ron came in with Harry, asking, "What's happening?"
Instantly back to her normal self, Hermione raised her voice. "I'll tell you what's happening, your brothers are getting a lesson in the Queen's good, proper English!"
George looked at Ron in amazement. "I can't believe she gave you a straight answer when she's been screaming at me as though the Dark Lord himself is trying to rip us off on our manufactured goods-"
"If you'd been listening," Hermione emphasized, "you'd know that I informed you about the placement of the apostrophe, which is that 'floating comma thingie', as you so gracefully put it!"
"Excuse me," Fred said, "but I actually knew it was called an apostrophe, and it's there, so what more do you want?"
"For you to put it in the right place!" Hermione retorted. "It should be after the last 's', not before, because there are two of you running the shop, correct?"
"Those two think so much and act so much alike it's almost as if they're one," Ron muttered darkly.
"Beg to differ, but we are different in certain aspects," George commented.
"Yes, for example, Georgie here is currently obsessed with a certain young Spinnet named-"
"-however, Freddie is still trying to find an unoccupied closet large enough for himself and Ang-"
"-but we don't need to know about your love lives, so just fix the cursed apostrophe," Hermione concluded, glaring at them.
Both twins saluted her. "On the double, Seargant Grammar Police Granger, ma'am!" Fred shouted.
Hermione sighed, but was relieved when they went out to the front of the shop, waving wands and chanting incantations, and came back. "Catastrophe solved, Seargant!" George announced.
Once she had gone outside to check that the sign had indeed been change to "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes," Hermione nodded at the twins, satisfied.
A/N: If you favorite, would you be so kind as to leave a review? Even a simple 'Good job, I liked it' would be nice and greatly appreciated.
