I offer many, many, many apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, the author of the original poem, his estate and his family. Also a quick thanks to Suzie for being such a great editor.
'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Stargate-Style)
by Hellboy
'Twas the night before Christmas, and through the SGC,
Nobody was stirring, not even Level 23.
The stockings were hung in the gateroom with care,
in hopes that Asgard technology soon would be there.
The SG teams were nestled, snug in their beds,
safe with the knowledge of no snakes in their heads.
With Carter in her labcoat and Teal'c in a hat,
they'd just settled down for a quick power nap.
When in the gateroom there arose such a clatter
O'Neill jumped up to see what was the matter.
Down to the control room, he flew really fast,
and opened the doors that protected from blast.
The wormhole established, like we all know
shone all swirly on the objects below
when, what to O'Neill's shocked eyes should appear,
but a hoverchair and tiny replicator reindeer.
The driver so grey, with arms like a stick,
Jack knew the driver to be the Asgard St. Nick
As they clicked, whirred and whined, his courses they came
he quietly spoke as he called them by name.
"Now Hugin! Now Munin!
Now Freya and Aegir!
On, Heimdal! On, Idun!
On, Skirnir and Balder!
To computers in the control room!
All over Level 28!
We really must hurry!
These gifts can't be late!"
As mission reports that before a gust of wind fly,
when Jack gets tired of reading and throws to the sky,
so round the SGC the courses they flew,
with a sleigh full of technology, and grey St. Nick too.
When outside Daniel's office he heard such a sound,
he opened his door and nearly fell to the ground.
Sitting before him was a stack of books, nearly four feet,
with information of all the cultures he was sure to meet.
Carter woke from her nap and took to her feet
she rushed to the phone and quickly dumped Pete.
When she put down the phone, she couldn't help but see
a Asgard machine blinking, like a Christmas tree.
Jack watched on the monitors as the grey Santa flew!
Stopping to give a gift, or in some cases, two!
This tiny little Asgard moved quick as a flash,
and nearly hit Seiler, who fell with a crash.
His red furry hat trailed behind as he tore down the halls,
almost bouncing and scraping against concrete walls.
Teal'c witnessed the sleigh, and tried to figure out how,
but managed only to arch an eyebrow.
People stood dumfounded, seeing this grey little elf,
And it caused Jack O'Neill to laugh to himself
A wink of his huge eye and a twist of his head,
let everyone know they had nothing to dread.
He returned to the gateroom and went straight to work,
dropped off some cool gadgets, then turned with a jerk.
Raising his arm, and pointing it straight,
he used a remote and opened the gate.
He climbed into his sleigh, to his team he gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a supersonic missile.
But Jack heard him exclaim, as he gated out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"