Characters/Pairing: Evan Rosier/Severus Snape
Rating: Mature
Summary: Evan Rosier is a flickering candle in a pitch black room. He is uncontrollable, impulsive, incandescent. Marauder Era.
Word Count: 2,685
Warnings: Recreational drug use, implied mental health issues.
NOTE: this is part of a larger, Snape-centirc series. That series will not be posted on here, but it can be found on my archive of our own. my username there is humanveil and the series is titled "and whoever calls the night a blanket, has never felt the cold". Enjoy!
"You look about ready to kill someone," Evan says with a grin, plopping down next to him. "Or yourself."
Severus snorts, the sound airy and hollow. "Both have their own appeal."
Evan reaches past him to take hold of a lemon drop, placing it on his tongue as he turns to Severus. "They'll get what they deserve," he assures him, eyes flicking to the Gryffindor table briefly. "All in good time."
Severus hums, noncommittal. It was a nice thought, that. Though probably not a conversation for the Great Hall.
"I got my package today," Evan says, voice low. "Hid it in the dorm before good ol' Dumbledore could see. Rabastan said it was good quality."
"What kind?"
"Pixie dust. Imported from Kazakhstan, so it's not the usual stuff," he answers. "I reckon they mix it with something. Opium, probably."
He glances at Severus' empty plate, head tilting to the side, his lips twitching upwards in a secretive smile. "Wanna come try it? It'll make you feel good."
It's said in the same flirty tone Evan says everything in; the one Severus is sure means nothing, but lingers on anyway.
He gives the room a glance, stopping on Black's smug smile, and then nods. He had no intention of eating, anyway.
'Good' is an understatement.
Severus is always weary with the powders Evan gave him – not only because he hated the burn that accompanied snorting them, but because the impact wasn't always a good one.
But this particular dust had done the trick.
He feels light in a way he's never experienced; similar to the aftermath of consuming a euphoric elixir, only amplified. He feels giddy; content. It's like the weight of his troubles has lifted and, for the first time in what feels like forever, he can breathe easy again.
He never wants it to end.
Evan rolls closer to him from the other side of the bed, lazy smile covering his face. Dirty blond hair falls across his forehead, a few stray curls blocking his left eye from Severus' view.
"Nice, isn't it?"
He hums, not bothered to say anything more. Evan moves closer still, his head dropping to rest above Severus' collarbone.
"We ought to do this more, Sev," he murmurs. "I'll get Lestrange to send another batch."
Severus is in the Hospital Wing, nursing a bad series of burns that cover his right arm. His face is drawn into a sneer, his eyes hard and furious as he glares at Lupin.
"I'm sorry," the boy is saying, eyes wide as he stares. He'd been hit with some of the potion, too, though his injuries have already been healed. "Sirius didn't say—"
"Fuck off."
Evan's voice is cool, hateful. He has his own sneer covering his face; the look so unlike his usual easy smile. Severus is glad to see him.
"This doesn't involve you," Lupin says, brow furrowed in annoyance.
Evan sits on the edge of Severus' bed, his eyes narrowing. He does smile now, though it's twisted. Cruel. "Did you not hear me?" he says, voice taking on a tone Severus recognises as trouble. It sounds an awful lot like how Lucius used to sound, when he was still around. "I said get out."
Lupin looks like he's going to argue, but eventually turns to leave. He mutters something under his breath that Severus doesn't catch.
"You shouldn't be here."
"I brought you something."
Severus raises his brow as Evan pulls a small vial from his robe; bluish purple dust sparkling within. Severus' lips twitch to a smirk.
"Thought you could use it," Evan explains. "Avery told me what happened. You really should just poison Black and Potter one of these days. Merlin knows they'd deserve it."
He glances around to ensure that they're alone, that Madam Pomfrey is still in the other room, prepping the next ointment. When he sees that they're in the clear, he uncorks the vial and dips his little finger into the contents.
"Open your mouth," he says, holding his hand to Severus' face. "No need to snort this one."
Severus does as he's told, opening his mouth enough for Evan to swipe a line of powder against his bottom gum. He feels it dissolve against the flesh, slowly sweeping into his system.
There's a clank from the other room, and Severus sighs softly. "Go."
With a pout, Evan stands. "We'll get Black back," he says, and then leans to press a kiss to Severus' cheek – something he's never done before. "I've already got a plan."
It's barely a whisper, and afterwards he straightens up and walks away. Severus watches him go.
He'd stopped trying to make sense of the other boy years ago. There's simply no point. Evan was as unpredictable as anything; his mood swings legendary amongst the whole school. He could be ecstatic one second, and then be planning a murder the next.
Severus is just glad he rarely made it on his bad side.
Evan's plan ends with Black projectile vomiting for three days and the both of them in detention during a Hogsmeade weekend. The detention is with Slughorn, though, so it's worth it in the end.
Evan hands him another one of his powders before they move to the potions classroom, and they're both high as a kite as they clean the cauldrons.
Severus steals from Slughorn's ingredients cupboard when the professor isn't looking, and they leave in a better mood than they would have been if they'd made it down to the Three Broomsticks.
The drug habit had started in their fifth year, though it hadn't been so much a habit back then as it was something they did every few months to calm down. For fun.
Now, though, it happens at least once a week. Usually more.
Severus had been weary at first – addiction was prone in his family – but what little care he had about anything had vanished in the summer following fifth year, and now he took what he could get, when he could get it.
The sessions with Evan are, after all, the best thing about coming back to school.
It isn't just the impact of the drugs, though. It had been the appeal at first – and it was still appealing now – but Evan's company, the way the boy was when he was high… That was a drug on its own.
Evan is an all-consuming force when sober. Unpredictable, uncontrollable, untameable. He's always jumping from one thing to the next; as if nothing could hold his attention long enough to keep him steady.
He had no conscious, no regard for those he didn't care for. He'd do anything, regardless of rules or norms or laws, if it meant he'd get his way in the end. Severus had listened to him plan murder as a pastime, had practiced dark magic with him for fun.
But when he was high… he was incandescent. It's as if everything he does is a performance; full of passion and impossible to turn away from. Like his thought process is tangible; like it fills the air around them.
Severus loves to watch him, to watch thought and feeling flash through the odd bluish green of his eyes. To watch his body vibrate with excitement.
The good is as equally interesting as the bad. When euphoria switched to fury – when bright smiles and kind words switched to sneers and blood curdling threats – it was as beautiful as it was frightening.
He'd mentioned it to Narcissa, once, and she'd told him it sounded an awful lot like love. But he knows it isn't that. It's more of a morbid fascination; a feeling that if he looked away for too long the brilliance of Evan's being would slip through his fingers like dust.
"Did you see Tom?"
"Yes."
"And?"
Severus lifts a shoulder in a half shrug, letting his head hit the stone wall behind him with a quiet thud. They're sitting in one of the dungeons abandoned classrooms; the one they'd claimed as their own.
"Nothing happened, really," he says, taking a drag from the joint Evan passes him. "He says maybe this summer."
Evan smiles at him, eyes sparkling with mirth. "You'd look good with a tattoo."
Severus contemplates correcting him – the mark wasn't a tattoo – but lets it slide.
"He wants you there as well."
"Oh, goodie," exclaims Evan. "We may finally start to have some real fun."
The door to their dormitory opens with a loud bang, and when Severus enters, his fury in palpable.
"Get out," he barks, shooting a look to Avery and Mulciber.
They don't argue, just pack what they'd been doing and leave.
"What happened?" Evan asks once the door shuts again.
"I'm going to kill him."
Evan sighs, rolling off the bed and onto the ground. He doesn't need to ask who him is; no one other than James Potter ever made Severus that visibly angry. Except, perhaps, for Sirius Black.
"I want you to try something," he says, all but ignoring Severus' anger. He doesn't look scared like the others had – just slightly concerned. "Came yesterday. I was gonna sell it – not a big fan of feeling mellow – but it might be good for you."
He sits cross-legged in front of his trunk, rummaging through it; his uniform askew. He eventually finds a set of small vials, bright green liquid shining within them. He throws one at Severus before opening his own, drinking the substance in one go.
Severus does the same, moving to sit where Evan had previously lain. This close, Evan can see the slight tremor to his body; the clenched jaw and closed fists. Carefully, he takes the vial from Severus before it shatters in his hand.
He doesn't speak; just watches as the drug infiltrates Severus' system; as his anger slowly dissolves. He joins him on the bed, nudging him so he lies down. They always ended up like that, somehow. Curled around each other. Evan likes the closeness – he'd been deprived of it growing up, and he thinks Severus likes it for a similar reason.
"Sev?"
"Mm?" An undetermined amount of time had passed since they'd first taken the drug, and Severus has finally calmed down. He was still annoyed – frustrated – but the drug hardly let him feel it. "What?"
"You ever shag a guy?"
Severus turns to him, eyebrow raised in surprise. "Why?"
Evan shrugs against him. "Dunno," he says. "Thought you might've."
Severus wants to ask why he'd think that, but he's likely going to forget the conversation once he sobers up, so he doesn't bother. "No," he admits instead, voice soft. "Have you?"
"Oh, yeah. Twice," Evan says. "We should try it."
Evan suggest it like it's nothing – no different to how he'd comment on the weather – and Severus looks at him like he's grown another head.
"What?"
Evan grins now, eyes sparkling. "We should try it," he repeats. "We could both use a good fuck."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, why not? Doesn't have to change anything," Evan tells him, tilting his head to look at his face. "I'm always in your bed anyway."
That wasn't exactly true, not really. They shared on occasion – more than what most friends probably did – but Severus wouldn't say always.
He looks at Evan for a long moment, contemplating. The proposition isn't unappealing; quite the opposite, really. Evan is undoubtedly gorgeous; the conventional type of attractive that turned heads. And they had been mistaken for a couple more than once…
"Okay," he murmurs. "But not now. I don't think I can move."
Evan just keeps smiling.
Severus thinks Evan will forget about it, but the other boy doesn't.
He comes back from a detention on a Friday night – another argument with Black, Severus thinks he picks fights simply so there's something to do – and plops down on Severus' bed. Mulciber is out with some Ravenclaw Severus doesn't know the name of, but Avery is lying on his own bed, flicking through a charms text.
"Lyra's in the common room alone," Evan calls out, sending him a pointed look. "Go ask her out again."
"Most people just close the curtains and use a silencing charm," Avery responds, not looking up from his book.
"Maybe I wasn't clear," Evan says, voice switching from polite to pissed off. "Fuck off."
Avery sighs, annoyed, but shuts the book and stands up. "Good luck, mate," he tells Severus, before letting the door bang shut behind him.
Evan turns back to him once the door shuts, annoyance gone and a smile back on his face. "You busy?"
"No."
"Good," Evan grins, and then he's pushing Severus back against the bed without preamble. He holds him down gently, plush lips capturing Severus' thin ones.
Surprised, Severus stays dead still for a moment before slowly melting under the touch. It's softer than he'd expect from Evan. Slower.
"Rabastan sent me another package," Evan murmurs, pulling back a bit to look at him. "Says it's an aphrodisiac. We can use it, if you want. Though I don't think we need it."
They're teenage boys, Severus thinks. Of course they don't need it.
"It's fine," he says. He's nervous and he's trying not to let it show, but he thinks Evan can tell anyway.
Evan kisses him again, mouth trailing across his jaw, his neck. His hands reach to remove robes and undo buttons, and Severus does the same. They share a bathroom; they've seen each other naked before. But this is different. So, so obviously different.
"Top or bottom?" Even asks against his skin, hands already sliding up under the fabric of his shirt, over his slim body.
"What?"
"Do you wanna do the fucking or be fucked," Evan clarifies, crassly. "I assumed you'd top, but it's nice to ask."
Severus laughs, barely a huff of air. How he ever got into this situation, he'd never know. "Top."
"Atta boy," Evan responds, kissing him again before helping Severus flip their position. He reaches a hand away from their bodies, summons a vial containing what looks like water, only thicker. He puts it aside, grinning at Severus. "Use it in a bit," he says. "I'll tell you what to do."
Severus nods, their mouths clashing together a moment later. Arousal is starting to take over his impulse control, his body alight with the excitement of having Evan beneath it. They'd barely done anything, and he already couldn't get enough of it.
Clothes are pushed away and pulled off, the two of them never once losing contact. Fingers clutch at skin and bone, teeth creating marks that are soothed with sweet kisses. When Evan finally presses the vial into his hand, Severus feels as if he could explode.
For all the drugs Evan has given him, nothing was ever quite as intoxicating as the taste of his mouth.
It continues throughout the school year; their spare time filled with sex or drugs or sometimes both. They go to class high more than once, and Severus thinks that someone has to notice, but no one ever does. Or, at least, they never say anything.
They spend the Easter holidays at Malfoy Manor and it takes one look before Lucius asks if they're shagging. Severus doesn't say anything, Evan asks if he wants to join, and Narcissa lets out a long suffering sigh. It's almost sickeningly domestic.
True to his word, nothing between them does change. It's blissfully simple. They're the same as they've ever been, only now Evan spends more nights in his bed than out of it.
In fact, Evan spends more time by his side than away from it. It gets on his nerves occasionally – he does prefer to be alone sometimes – but mostly he enjoys it. Evan is a brightening factor in his life; a flickering candle in a pitch black room. A rare constant.
They finish the school year side by side, and when they go back to Malfoy Manor for the summer, and the Dark Lord brands his left arm, Evan is still standing next to him.