A Surprising Guest
Written By Katie Bienvenue
Cordelia manned the phone to Angel's Detective Services like she normally did while the boys were away fighting the evil of Los Angeles. No one had called and things seemed very boring. Suddenly the little bell on the door chimed. All Cordelia could see was a massive bunch of curls entering into the building. She leaned over the desk to see no other than Miss Piggy dressed in a white coat, tan riding pants, and a gun holster belted around her.
"Miss Piggy?" Cordelia asked still stunned at the sight of a character that she grew up with.
"Don't sound so stun, Toots." Miss Piggy answered back in her famous high pitched voice. She did a hair flip causing the massive amount of curls on her head to sway magically in the air like a true model moment.
"What can I help you with?" Cordi asked. Miss Piggy leaned on the desk and said, "Well..."
Just as she was about to continue a huge ball of light flashed and a woman appeared wearing the same outfit as Miss Piggy, even the same hair. It was River Song. She didn't wait to jump into a confrontation, "Miss Piggy!" she exclaimed in a British accent, "I know you have it and I want it back!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She answered innocently. Miss Piggy turned to Cordelia, who looked stunned and confused. "I heard you're the best detective agency in town."
"Ah yes," Cordelia responded, "We are the best of the best! Can I just say Miss Piggy, I am a huge fan." Miss Piggy took every word to heart as she put her hand to her chest suddenly full of flattery. River was getting more impatient, "Miss Piggy!" She exclaimed, "Give me back my journal!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Miss Piggy answered again. River puffed to relieve some steam while Miss Piggy turned back to Cordelia, "I need help finding my Kermy."
"Kermy as in Kermit? Kermit the Frog?" Cordelia said her eyes lighting up, "When was the last time you saw him?" Miss Piggy pulls out a blue book from inside her jacket and opens it up. River's eyes widen at the sight of her journal. "That's my journal!" she exclaimed.
"No it's not!" Miss Piggy tossed back. "Hum…" she said flipping through the warn pages, "It was at Asgard. We were on a picnic. He was sitting right next to me and next thing I know he was gone!"
River bursts out laughing. She looks to Cordelia, "That's not her story! That's mine! That's my journal!" River turns to Miss Piggy still flipping through it and yanks it out of her hands. "Thank you." She said tucking it into her jacket. "Oh, and Sweetie, that look really doesn't suit you. If you know what I mean?"
Miss Piggy, speechless, started to violently shake. The rage was building up in her. Suddenly, she burst and lunged forward at River Song. She pounced on her and started pulling at her huge head of curls. "You're talkin' Toots! I'll show you whose outfit's not working!" River struggled trying to fling Miss Piggy off her back, but nothing was working. "And what's with this British accent, you know how fake you sound!" Miss Piggy exclaimed as River shouted for her to get off.
Cordelia stood up and backed away from the desk just as River Song slammed Miss Piggy down on top of it. "Um… I'm just gonna… I'm gonna go over here." She said slowly heading toward the door. Once she was close enough to leave she jolted out leaving the two women to finish their argument. Man, she thought as she stepped out into the cool air of Los Angeles night, I have the powers to see into the future and I so didn't see this coming. The sounds of the arguing continued inside along with crashing sounds as shelves are being destroyed. If there is one thing Cordelia learned from her childhood love of "The Muppet Show"… it's never get in Miss Piggy's way.