Is it right to let other people dream for you?
I've always wondered. Day in, and day out, people seem to plant different expectations for me – some pile up, growing more and more ludicrous each day. Political expectations, royalty expectations, expectations from a woman. Dreams fit for someone who might one day become Queen.
Is it right for you to not know who you are?
I've always wondered. People always tell me who to be, how to act, how to speak. I am different around different people – different around my father, different around a young guest, different around an elderly, renowned guest, different around my family when we talk about my mother. But when I sit in my room and glance at the mirror, who am I? Who am I when I am alone? How will I know?
Is it right for you to fall in love?
I've always wondered. Everyday, I see the pain in my father's eyes – a grief beyond all telling, a scar that only the end of a lifetime can heal. A pain caused by too much love that has been thrown away in one fleeting moment, when a person passes from this world to the next. Everyday, I see the love my brother has for a woman who disappears too late at night and returns too early in the morning. Everyday, I see my sister falling out of love with the idea of love, falling deeper in love with the love for the steel blade and the thrill of battle.
Was it right for me to have done what I did?
I've always wondered. I wonder what might have happened if I had told my brother when I had seen his lover in the shade of a grove with a man that was not him. I wonder what might have happened if I had one day brought up the topic of my mother's mysterious death. I wonder if it was right for me to agree to take my sister's place – for a night only, she promised – in that meeting with the royalty of Narnia. I wonder if it was right for me to have deceived, to be deceiving, and to surely continue deceiving the High King of Narnia.
Was it right for me to have fallen hopelessly in love with the man my sister was meant to marry?