Notes: Lately I've been playing that silly Hogwarts Mystery game and it made me want to write Kuzuhina in a Hogwarts AU just for fun... but I couldn't think of prompts, so I unapologetically took probably the most overused, cliche plot device and ran with it.

I'm using mostly first names because this obviously isn't Japan. Also I haven't actually read a Harry Potter book in ages so there might be some inaccuracies, but I tried my best.

The title is based on a random lyric from a random BUMP OF CHICKEN song (Kinen Satsuei) because that's how I roll.

Don't ask why all these Japanese kids aren't at Mahoutokoro, don't ask why they their vocabulary isn't quite British enough, and just don't think too hard about some of my headcanon choices. I wrote this to amuse myself during downtime at work, it's not that deep fam.

Where Time Has No Name

The Room of Requirement, once upon a time, had been a well-kept secret. And to be fair, the Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts faculty still tried to keep it that way; even the most detailed of history books only ever mentioned that Dumbledore's Army would meet in "a secret room," and that the Diadem of Ravenclaw was "well-hidden in Hogwarts." Word of mouth was a powerful thing, though, especially among teenagers. More than ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts, knowledge of the Room had been passed along to the point that it was as well-known to Hogwarts students as the Whomping Willow.

Which meant, of course, that it was nearly always occupied whenever Hajime tried to make use of it. At first he wondered if he was trying to use it too frivolously—the Prefects had warned that it wouldn't appear for students seeking to skip class unless they were truly on the verge of a mental breakdown, and while Hajime wasn't trying to play hooky, he wasn't really in a particularly bad headspace either—just a little stressed.

Then, one day a few months into his first year, the Room finally did open for him, fully equipped with a variety of magazines, snacks, and soft plush furniture in warm, welcoming hues, perfect for winding down and relaxing. Hajime hadn't been in any more need than usual that day; he had simply been lucky enough to finally find it unoccupied.

During regular school days, it was rare for Hajime to have that sort of luck. Fortunately, the days when he was by far the most likely to find it unoccupied were the days he needed it most—during events when he was expected to spend significant time with his House.

Because he simply did not, in any way, fit in with the other Slytherins.

"Maybe the Sorting Hat made a mistake," Chiaki had mentioned casually once over a game of Gobstones.

Hajime remembered the suggestion clearly; it was permanently etched into his memory along with the foul smell of the liquid coating his face an instant later.

"Sorry," she said, somewhat apologetic but mostly unrepentant over her strategy to rattle him. "I was just kidding. The Sorting Hat doesn't make mistakes, I think."

Except it clearly did with Hajime.

It's a tough call, he remembered the Hat whispering into his ear. You could excel in any one of the houses. But I see ambition, intelligence, quick wit... yes, perhaps you'd do well in Slytherin. They could always use a few more Muggle-borns, too. What do you say?

It had sounded fair enough to Hajime at the time, so he hadn't objected. He hadn't known that he could or even should object; his cursory research of wizarding culture before arriving at Hogwarts hadn't warned him what being in Slytherin would be like.

He wished there was a spell that could send him back in time two years to point his eleven-year-old self in the right direction, or at least give him a sharp slap upside the head.

His Slytherin housemates were intense. It seemed like half of them were fiercely determined to bring the House back to glory after the disgrace of being connected with You-Know-Who's second reign, and the other half had inflated egos just by virtue of being placed in the House. And then there were the few—mercifully few, these days, but still a few—who scorned Hajime simply for his parentage.

It was all too much for a kid who really wanted nothing more than to figure out what he could do, and then do it well. He had ambition, that much was true, but he had nothing to prove to anyone but himself.

All that considered, the days when Hajime could escape into the Room of Requirement to have some time to himself were a blessing. Lounging across the couch, he lazily flipped through an old Quidditch magazine, staring in awe at the moving photographs that still hadn't quite lost their novelty. It seemed a bit ridiculous to be reading that magazine, seeing as there was a real Quidditch match occurring across the green that he could be watching instead, but it was a Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff game. His House was infinitely more difficult to be around when they were cheering on their team, especially with it being the first game of the season.

Hajime was halfway through an editorial on the national team of Moldova when the sudden slam of a door startled him back to reality. Unceremoniously dropping the magazine to the floor, he looked up and was surprised to see a boy standing in the entrance to the Room of Requirement, wearing an identical shocked expression.

How had he gotten in? Hajime stared incredulously; it should have been impossible for someone else to get into his room, right?

No, of course it wasn't, he slowly realized. It was possible for someone else to gain entry... if they happened to need the same room at the same time.

What exactly had Hajime asked for as he paced the hallway for entry...?

I want to get away from my House for a while.

Oh.

The other boy seemed to have come to the same realization, judging by the way the tension in his shoulders had eased just slightly. It was still a bit of an awkward situation, Hajime had to admit, but it didn't seem right to chase off kindred company. "Um, do you want to come sit down?" he offered, dropping his feet from the couch to shift into a proper sitting position.

The other boy frowned, but stepped fully into the room—only to pointedly seat himself in the armchair furthest from Hajime's side of the couch.

Hajime twiddled his thumbs nervously. He doubted that either of them would be able to relax with the atmosphere as it was, but how was he supposed to break the ice? At a lack of any other ideas, he took two Cauldron Cakes from a small pile on the coffee table and scooted down the couch to offer one to his new companion. "Here, do you want one?"

The other boy peered at him suspiciously, but accepted the proffered cake. "These were mine to begin with, y'know."

"Oh!" Hajime flushed. "Sorry, should I not have—"

"Nah, s'fine." The boy fiddled with the edges of the plastic wrapping idly. "It was obvious someone else was using this room too. Did you bring the toffees? They're good."

"Oh... thanks. Yeah, my mum made them..." Sitting closer to the boy, Hajime was able to take a better look at his features—small stature, blond hair cropped short, freckled cheeks... "Wait a second, are you Natsumi's brother?" he asked, eyeing the boy's yellow-trimmed robes. She had mentioned a "failure" of an older brother in Hufflepuff...

The blond boy bristled visibly. "You're a Slytherin then?" He huffed. "Whatever she's said about me, you'd better not believe her."

"Oh, no, don't worry, I—" Hajime faltered. "Actually, I kind of thought she made you up entirely."

The boy nearly choked on his first bite of cake. "What?!" he managed between coughs.

"Well, yeah," Hajime said, feeling a bit silly but wanting to justify his assumption. "I mean, she said you're a third-year like me, but I hang out with Hufflepuffs a lot and I don't remember seeing you before. I thought she was just making up someone to claim superiority over or something."

Scoffing, the boy put aside his Cauldron Cake for a moment. "Yeah, she would do that. But nah, I'm real, obviously. I just tend to stick around my friends in Slytherin because I can't stand the dumbasses in Hufflepuff." He cocked an eyebrow at Hajime. "So I thought it was weird I'd never seen you before, but..."

"I guess we just keep missing each other?" Hajime suggested, grinning. Then after some thought, he stuck out his hand. "I'm Hajime Hinata, by the way. Nice to meet you."

"Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu." The boy—Fuyuhiko—took Hajime's hand and shook it. "So why aren't you at the game?"

"Are you kidding me?" Hajime groaned as he pulled his hand back. "My House gets so nasty over Quidditch. All those jeers and taunts... I don't want to have to deal with that kind of negativity on a weekend."

"Better than my fuckin' House," Fuyuhiko groused. "They're just too nice to the other team. What do they think such half-assed cheering will accomplish? I couldn't stand it, so I left."

Hajime cocked his head to the side thoughtfully as he tore into the packaging of his own Cauldron Cake. "Is it a bad thing to be nice, though?"

"It's not bad, it's just..." Fuyuhiko frowned down at his half-eaten cake. "It just makes you seem weak. That's how my family sees it, at least."

"So that's why Natsumi called you a failure."

Fuyuhiko barked out a laugh. "Of course she did. You know the last time a Kuzuryu wasn't in Slytherin? I had a great-grandfather in Ravenclaw, but that's it. We've all been Slytherins as far back as anyone can remember." He scoffed, picking up his cake to drown his frustrations in sugar again. "And I was Sorted into Hufflepuff, of all things..."

"At least you have something that makes you unique," Hajime muttered. "I've always wanted something like that."

Fuyuhiko opened his mouth as if to object, but he seemed to think better of it and took a silent bite of cake. After swallowing, he instead asked, "So why'd the Hat put you in Slytherin? You don't really seem like the type."

"Ah, well..." Hajime scratched his cheek bashfully. "It said that I'm ambitious and quick-witted, which... I guess it's true? But the rest of my House is pretty vocal about that stuff, whereas I guess I just internalize it more." He chuckled wryly. "I have one roommate who seemed more like me at first, but after a week or two he got kinda creepy. Going on and on about letting us use him as stepping stone to bring Slytherin back to glory and stuff..."

Fuyuhiko wrinkled his nose. "Shit, you're roommates with that kid? No wonder you need to run away to this place."

Hajime laughed. "I take it you know him?"

"I've met him once or twice, but from what Peko tells me, that's probably more than enough."

Hajime paused. "Pekoyama?"

"Yeah, me and her grew up together." Fuyuhiko grinned. "Maybe you don't get along with the rest of your House, but Peko's pretty cool."

Hajime hummed in thought. He had tried sitting with the silver-haired girl during breakfast one day, but the way she had silently glared at him was a bit off-putting—not to mention all the rumors about her being scarily talented at dueling, even in their first year. "Uh... maybe I'll try to get to know her better, then."

With a self-satisfied grin, Fuyuhiko finished off the last of his Cauldron Cake, but Hajime couldn't help feeling that it wasn't right for the conversation to end there.

"What about you, then?"

"My roommates? They're all dumbasses."

"Not that, I mean the Sorting Hat." Hinata frowned. "Why did it put you in Hufflepuff?"

Fuyuhiko's face fell as the color rose in his cheeks. "That's none of your damn business!" he cried out.

"I mean, you don't have to tell me if you really don't want to," Hajime said placatingly. "You're right, it's not my business, but I did tell you what the Hat said to me, so I think it's only fair to at least ask..."

Grumbling, Fuyuhiko slouched into his robes. "Damn cunning Slytherins knowing exactly what to say..." he mumbled.

"Sorry?"

"I said whatever, I don't really care anyway!" Fuyuhiko said, louder this time. "The Hat put me in Hufflepuff... for my moral sense and loyalty and... stuff like that," he said, averting his gaze as his face reddened. "Shit... why am I even telling you this? I've told Peko, but I barely know you."

Hajime leaned back against the couch to stare at the ceiling. "Come to think of it, I've only ever talked about this with Chiaki and Makoto, too... but you're easy to talk to somehow." He glanced over to Fuyuhiko with a small grin. "Maybe we just both needed each other?"

Even as the words left his mouth, Hajime felt the oncoming surge of embarrassment, which was immediately mirrored by the other boy.

"The hell are you saying sappy stuff like that for, dumbass?!" Fuyuhiko seemed to physically recoil from the statement and, grabbing a sachet of Every Flavor Beans from the table, he began pelting them at Hajime. "You think I'm just gonna sit here and listen to that shit?!"

"Wait, Fuyu— ow! Stop that, I just meant..." Hajime swatted away a suspiciously-sewage-colored bean on trajectory towards his mouth. "I just meant that we needed someone to talk to, and since this is the Room of Requirement..."

"Yeah, I got that, asshole! That doesn't mean you had to say it!" Fuyuhiko paused in his assault, but his embarrassed glare remained in place. "Damn. And here I was thinking that if you hang around with Hufflepuffs, maybe being with my House wouldn't be so bad."

Hajime laughed. "You know what? I was thinking the same thing."

Note: They went to Hogsmeade together two weeks later (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧