(Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of Yugioh, or any of the characters. Kazuki Takahashi and konami(?) do. I hope. Maybe. I'm not extremely sure. Don't quote me on that. Or all I do Is win. I don't own that either. DJ Khaled does. Again. No quoting.)
Truth or Dare-Yugioh Style
Yugi
It's a beautiful day outside. Sun is shining, birds are singing, and I'm going to play a children's card game with my friends. What could possibly be better? A lot of things, really. But this is a fanfiction. You didn't come here to listen to me gripe. You came to see me play some card games. And win. Mostly win.
And maybe even a lemon. W-w-w-w-wait. I'm getting strange vibrations. In my pants. Are they psychic? Am I about to foretell one of the great events of the future? Nah, it's probably my lawyer reading me the riot act about copyright infringement… Hello. Yes, I am the all-powerful Pharaoh.
Now, you might be wondering why an all-powerful Pharaoh is subject to copyrights. So let me explain in less than 250 words why. You see, I am all powerful in this dimension. And there are multiple dimensions and timelines and ultimately, everything we, we meaning I, do affects the space-time continuum. When we try to break rules that were written for a reason, such as copyrights, we will alter the time-space continuum. This is why we put disclaimers at the top. To not screw over space-time and protect ourselves from harm. And when we travel to different dimensions, the fabric of space-time unravels. This is why crossovers only last so long and are usually worse that the average fanfiction. So for the good of humanity, I, too, must observe proper protocol when dealing with these matters.
"Hello. Yes. Uh-huh. I did remember my disclaimer, TYVM, Mr. I-will-predict-the-future-before-your-very-eyes! So there. Hah, I say. Hah. Hah hah. Okay, I'm done now. You can move on. Limes. Yes, I see. I'll explain to them. Okay. Bye. I love you too, honey. Yes. Kisses," Yugi said before closing his phone and putting it in his right breast pocket. You see, he was not a normal person who would frantically try to find his phone somewhere on his body, no. He knew exactly where it was at all times. And he had his shirts sewn to do exactly this.
Ahem. Author. I'm trying to entertain readers this is what you pay me for, remember? Wait… You don't pay me. Why am I here? There's a giant anvil in the sky…. Wonder what that's about. It's coming closer and closer and… RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN' LIVES. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! Wait. This is a fanfiction. You can'tjust kill off one of the main characters in the first… You wouldn't (author grins). All righty then. I would like to welcome you back to your regularly scheduled programming, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Only joking, it's Yu-Gi-Oh. Buffy doesn't play children's card games and save the world. But she does save the world by slaying vampires. It seems a lot of television involves killing things and saving the world. But not Yu-Gi-Oh. Here at Yu-Gi-Oh, we like to think that Pokémon copies us. Yes. Where else would you find such family-friendly television dedicated to strengthening the minds of your beloved children? For example, we based our latest (and greatest) creation on that very topic. I call it the jiggle-o-meter. The bouncier the boobies, the more fun for the whole family. Here, let me demonstrate… I don't have boobies, do I?(lifts up shirt) No I don't. But I think I just piqued the fangirls' interest. I'd better get my rear in gear and out of here. Now for a quick history lesson. That phrase was from the 1980s, where everything was hip, stylin' and good musicians too. See how this provides the household with educational content. We just learned 2 new things.
And if you stick around till chapter 3 , you'll learn a lot more than this. For instance, in chapter 3, we have… Waaaiiiit. Those are spoilers. I'm not supposed to give you those, am I. It might wreck the space-time continuum. Just like the time Jaden and Yusei told me I would never get laid. But I did. Oh, wait. I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Now I'll get all sorts of questions about the experience. And we eventually got out of it after Yusei whacked me on the head a couple times and I forgot. But how do I remember now?
And is the following statement true or false: The following statement is false. Come to think of it, who was that boy with the crazy hair? His name must start with Y… Oh, well, he'll turn out all right. (author's note: Yuma's traumatic experience in the void led to him being such a bad duelist and ruining the show for all of us). So his name was Yuma, you say? How did you? You forget, author-who-must-not-be-named. I can see your every thoughts just as you can see mine. Only you can erase my thought from history forever if you want to. Although mine aren't as high of an age-appropriate rating as some of yours get…
I think that we should end this conversation now. So where was I? Yes, that's why I follow copyrights, even though I am descended from an ancient Egyptian power.
And that, dear reader(s)-I do hope there's more than one of you- is how someone spends 2 pages in Calibri 12 font writing nothing that advances the plot. You're welcome for the lesson in fluff-creating. Anyways, I do believe I was supposed to tell you something…
Let me try to get my psychic vibrations together. I think that's a phone ringing. Let me just go and answer that. Funny. I could have sworn there was a tingling sensation next to my butt. I should probably find out what I should be telling you here instead of taking up space, shouldn't I? I'll just go back to that…
Hey. Yugi. Can you hear me? Is that you, author-who-must-not-be-named? Did your testicles just drop in the last 5 seconds or something? Cause your voice just suddenly got a helluva lot lower. No! It's me, you fool. I'm your arch rival. The lord of cards. Ringing any bells? Nope. Am I supposed to play a card game with you or something? Theodore? Seto Theodore Kaiba? (sigh) Remember,I lost against you in the 1st episode. I won against you in Duelist Kingdom. And then you saved my soul from Pegasus. And I lost in Battle City. And that other time in the movie nobody should have watched. And a bunch of times between that too, apparently. Ah, yes. Theo. I remember you. You want to know why you lost to me, Seto? It's because the writers don't appreciate good talent, catchy slogans, and brains anymore. They respect crazy hairstyles and the voice of Dan Green. No, it's because All I DO IS WIN.
All I do is win, win, win no matter what
Got money on mind, I can never get enough
And every time I step up in the building
Everybody hands go up
And they stay there, and they say "yeah," and they stay there
Up, down, up, down, up, down
'Cause all I do is win, win, win
And if you goin' in, put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there
Can't never count me out, y'all better count me in
Got twenty bank accounts, accountants count me in
Make millions every year, the South's champion
'Cause all I do, all I, all I, all I
All I do is win, win, win no matter what
Got money on mind, I can never get enough
And every time I step up in the building
Everybody hands go up
Okay. That's enough of your incessant song. I just wanted to remind you about C. Limon… What you've spent like a whole page trying to remember. That. Yes. Continue. So how exactly did you get inside my head? I used my OP supporting main character powers, idiot. We have OP main character powers? They were in the manual. Didn't you read that? Reading? I thought I told you, Kaiba. All I do is win. Win does not equal read. (win read). You're a mathematical guy, Kaiba. You should know this. Just tell them already so we can end this chapter. Oh fine. You know what, Kaiba? I'm starting to see why you lose a lot. Oh well.
Attention, dear reader(s), we seem to have a severe abundance of Vitamin C, so due to my Keep-the-world-safe-and-the-time-space-continuum-running initiative, there will be no lemons, limes, oranges, or any other citrus fruit your heart desires. Thank you. And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Oh. You're back. Delightful. So I'm off to a picnic that is the true *winks* setting of this story, over at Anzu's house. And 'Becca will be there and we'll have all sorts o' fun. Like what we used to get up to in our teenage years. Ah, that was the life. Sneaking out late at night to play card games. Getting up early to watch the card game channel. Eating Yugioh's for breakfast. I do quite miss it. Although I'd gladly give it up for 'Becca. Because she can play card games with me. On The Ground. How does it feel Yusei? I know, you can't answer because you aren't on the cast list. So hah! Double hah!
And by the way, Seto, I totally won that duel. What duel? The one we just had. We weren't dueling. Yes. That's partially because I won. And partially because you lost. 'Cause all I do is win (echo). What part of we were not dueling do you not understand? The not, and the we, and them being used in the same sentence, Kaiba. I hope I've cleared that up for you now. What? I was the one helping you understand that- No Kaiba. I won that duel. Just admit it. How about the fans decide? We'll tally the reviews a week and a half from today. And whoever has the most will win. You and me to the finals, bro. So post in your review who you think won the duel. Even though it's obviously me.
You've got to be kidding me, Kaiba. All I do is win. Not this again. Oh, wait, we're out of time. Stay tuned for the next installment of Yugioh-Truth…. Or Dare…. Or Card Game?
(Author's note: this chapter was not intended to advance a plot further. It was mainly fluff and me ranting. If you made it this far, congrats, 'cause I didn't. Also, if you have a card game you'd like to see played, a truth that you want answered, or a dare that you want to happen, review and post that in there. Thanks. Cya laters~ Master Of The Domain)
r