My Immortal w Medium Edit, No Fries

by Inkjoy 300 RT

Unable to sleep, this fearless author goes where many have before with the rewrite of a well-known Harry Potter legacy. Unfortunately the beautiful, possibly satirical, mess that was the original author's grammar and spelling has been booted out the door to make way for a non-headache inducing script. Other changes will be seen as the story is (sporadically) updated. ANs kept as is

1. Chapter 1

Inkjoy 300 RT- Please note that note all grammar and punctuation may be proper because it is four in the morning. Don't wanna edit this nonsense. Also, insert disclaimer. I don't own/am not affiliated w/ the creators of the official HP franchise or original My Immortal fanfiction.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi, my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. I have long ebony hair, which is what I was named for, with purple streaks and red tips. My icy blue eyes are like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee, the most bitchen singstress with lungs. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I wish I had those major fucking hottie genes, but instead I was born a fish. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale snowy skin, which has given me frostbite on numerous occasions. I still have all my fingers, though my left pinky toe wasn't so lucky. I don't talk about it because it's super sad and tragic. I don't want people to pity me, you know? I'm also a witch, and I go to the ever-prestigious motherfucking Hogwarts in England. I'm in the seventh year because I'm seventeen. I'm a goth, in case you couldn't tell, and I wear mostly black. Okay, I only wear black, but also lighter shades of black tinted with other colors. If it looks neon, that's only because you are fake and your eyes lie to you to help maintain your stupid prep delusions. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a pitch-black lace corset, a noir leather miniskirt, pink-tinted black fishnets and mourning garment-colored combat boots. I was wearing Stygian grey lipstick, white foundation, black as the endless void we are forever trapped drifting through eyeliner and red-tinted black eye shadow.

I was walking outside Hogwarts in the snow and the rain. There was no sun, which I was very happy about. The sun is very bad for me because it turns me into dust and nothing, unless I don't want it to. Most days I want it to though. Life is hard as a goth vampire fish witch. A lot of preps stared at me, so I gave them the bird. I bit my thumb in their general direction. I know the law was on my side.

A voice shouted my name, "Hey Ebony!" I looked up. It was (dramatic pause)…. Draco Malfoy! He was sitting on a second story window ledge, waving a pale arm for my attention. I don't know whose arm it was. Both of his were still attached.

"What's up, Draco?" I asked. I hoped he was offering the arm as a snack. I'd fed recently but my hunger wouldn't be quenched. My vampiric nature was ever the ultimate consumer, never satisfied.

"Nothing," he said shyly.

I heard my friends calling for me. I had to go away, my time wasted.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!