The night was cold and dark, the harsh white light of a nearby streetlight blaring down on passer-by. Typically, on nights like these, the outdoors were only used as a means to get from one place to another, and even then, the warmth that cars provided was generally preferred. As such, Emi Igawa found herself accidentally glaring at those who walked past her as she stood frozen in the chilly air while she wished she was inside the heated building right next to her; the one she would end up inside ultimately.
Why did he always do this, she thought angrily. Every single time they agreed to meet up someplace, she always ended up standing around waiting an extra fifteen minutes. She should really just follow suit, so she's at least not miserable for a quarter of an hour.
"Igawa!" A call meant for her split through Emi's thoughts. Finally, he'd arrived.
"Its about damn time you got here," Emi remarked irately as Kousei Arima ran up to her, breathing heavily from the workout. "Its about to start soon. You wouldn't want to miss it and be on the receiving end of her verbal beat-up session afterwards, would you?"
"Heh, heh, I know, I know, I'm sorry..." Kousei apologized sheepishly as he finally stopped beside her, rubbing his neck.
Emi rolled her eyes, and turned on her high heel. "Well, let's get going then, shall we?"
They set off for the concert hall directly beside them, its massive form looming over the comparatively smaller buildings around it. Fancy signs out front advertised to the public those competing in this year's competition. As Emi and Kousei entered the building, they melded with the spread-out crowd of people standing around and chatting in the lobby. Emi checked her watch, frowning. Hmm...they had a little over five minutes before the performances would start.
"When's her performance, again?" Kousei asked beside her, peering over her shoulder at the pamphlet in her hands.
"Oh, um..." Emi quickly scanned the schedule, and her eyes locked onto Nagi Aiza's name. "Fourth, at ten fifteen."
"Oh, so we've got a ways to go, then," Kousei remarked with a sense of relief.
Emi sighed, punching him lightly on the arm, the passing thought that she was still shorter than him causing her brief irritation. "That's no reason to act relieved, you know. What if you were out there? You'd want every audience member to be giving you their attention and respect, right?"
"I know!" Kousei replied. "I'm just glad that all my stressing earlier about potentially missing her performance was for nothing. Or, I guess, maybe that would make me upset? Eh, I don't know."
Rolling her eyes, Emi chuckled. "OK, weirdo. Let's just head inside already."
Kousei nodded, and with that, the two headed in the direction of the theater, doing their best to use various signs and maps to find their way around. After a few turnarounds, they eventually located the theater the competition was being held in, and quickly took their seats, their footsteps hidden by the chatter filling the auditorium. Finally settled, Emi glanced at the lonely piano sitting on the stage, and then her watch. Hmm...it'd start any second now.
Sure enough, the lights in the auditorium dimmed, and the talking stopped as all eyes fell on the stage. A bright spotlight hovered over the grand piano situated in the middle of the stage. Then, a man dressed in a fancy suit holding a card in his hand walked out onto stage, and grabbed the microphone stood there. Everyone listened as the man thanked them all for coming and proceeded to introduce the first pianist of the night. Then, as the well-dressed man exited, he was replaced by a young man holding sheet music. The pianist crossed the distance to the piano and sat down, setting his music on the stand and getting comfortable. Finally ready, he set his fingers above the keys, and, taking in a deep breath, began to play.
It was a very beautiful piece, Emi remarked as she listened. It was undoubtedly very difficult, but clearly not outside the realm of possibility for the player. He'd chosen well. Of course, that being said, Emi couldn't help but pick out all the minute details and things he did wrong as the piece went on. She felt bad about it, but it was a habit she accidentally held on to from her days playing piano full-time. Even if all the playing she did nowadays was just casual and for fun, the techniques she'd learnt from her days as a high schooler stuck with her even now.
Glancing at Kousei beside her, Emi noticed, not for the first time, that his expression changed as he studied the young man's fingers move, if only ever so slightly so. Whenever the young man fumbled or accidentally hit two side-by-side keys at the same time, Kousei seemed to react sympathetically, as though he felt bad about the mistake. But whenever the young man did something splendidly, Kousei's expression would brighten, and the smallest of smiles would linger on his lips. It was as though at all times, Kousei was silently cheering on the performer.
Then, the first player finished, and the second went on. Her piece was definitely well done, but it seemed lacking in comparison to the previous performance, Emi thought, grimacing. Then the third pianist went on, and his performance was enjoyable, though still comparatively average. Then, finally, at around ten fifteen in the evening, the moment Emi and Kousei had been waiting for arrived.
The well-dressed man once again walked out on the stage, passing the third pianist on his way, and grabbed the microphone. Clapping his hands with the rest of the audience in appreciation for the young man's performance, the man smiled at the audience. "Well! Splendid performance! Now, for our next young performer, the youngest here, actually, of only twenty years of age…Nagi Aiza!"
All eyes shot over to the left side of the stage, where the pianists had been entering and exiting from. Her dress flowing radiantly, her blonde hair shining brightly, and her expression one of calm indifference, Nagi Aiza walked out onto stage, holding her sheet music in hand. Passing the returning well-dressed man as she crossed the stage, Nagi gave a scanning glance over the audience members, her eye catching Kousei's. Smiling, she gave him a wink before reaching the piano and taking a seat.
Finally, as the audience's claps died down, Nagi let her fingers hover over top of the first notes she'd need to hit. Then, in that utter silence, her expression simply calm, serene, even, as though there weren't over a hundred people staring at her that very moment, Nagi finally began the piece, stealing any attention that wasn't already on her.
By the first few measures, both Emi and Kousei had instantly placed the piece: Un Sospiro, by Franz Liszt. Emi's eyes widened. This was a challenging piece! For Nagi to be taking it on…but it was undeniably beautiful, though. She could understand why anyone would want to play something so mesmerizingly pretty. Still, though, as she watched the young girl on the stage below, Emi knew Kousei was just as much on the edge of his seat as she was on hers.
Nagi's notes filled up the auditorium, the grace and elegance in her finger movements evident by the way each note flowed into the next without ever sounding off in any way. It was like the gentle flow of a stream of water, and the calm and serenity that came with the music was infectious; just about everyone in the audience couldn't help but be enveloped by the piece. Even Nagi herself looked like she was feeling the peaceful calm of the music.
Finally, the piece was over, and as Nagi's fingers left the keys, a stunned silence overcame the auditorium. A light smile crept its way onto her face as she glanced up at the crowd, just before it erupted into claps and cheers. Her eyes met those of Emi and Kousei, who each returned her smile. She had done brilliantly.
With her piece over, Nagi stood up, taking her sheet music in hand, and walked back to the left side of the stage, passing the well-dressed man as she did. As the audience's cheers and claps finally died down, the man gave a Nagi's performance a genuine compliment, before moving on to the next pianist.
.
Kousei, Emi and Nagi walked along the moonlit sidewalk away from the concert hall after the event was over. In all honesty, Emi couldn't really have said she recalled too many if the other performances of the night, whether before or after Nagi's. It was unfortunate, but Nagi's display of raw talent and hard work was just awe-inspiring; it also helped that her song choice was superb.
"Yeah, that was a great performance, Nagi!" Kousei said, ripping Emi's attention away from her inner thoughts. "You did wonderfully, especially for such a tough piece!"
Emi nodded in agreement. "I thought it was beautiful. You really handled those hand over hand techniques with fluidity."
"I know!" Nagi replied, grinning with self-importance. "I mean, I spent so long on it; it better have turned out well, you know?" A brief lull entered the atmosphere, before Nagi spoke again, changing the topic. "Whatever. My performances are always good, so how about we have some proper fun?"
"A-Ah…" Kousei said uncertainly. "You mean you want to go drinking."
"Exactly!" Nagi chuckled. "You want to, too, right, Emi?"
Emi rolled her eyes, but nodded. It was always fun to watch Kousei undergo uncomfortable situations, wherein he dealt with them by not dealing with them at all. Typically, whenever the three of them went drinking, Nagi would get super drunk, Emi would only have enough to feel a little tipsy, and Kousei would barely have anything at all. Usually, this led to Nagi flirting excessively with Kousei while he just took it awkwardly, all watched and commentated on, of course, by Emi herself.
So, with Kousei yet again being outvoted, the three headed to a nearby bar, escaping the winter cold by settling in a booth and ordering some drinks. Sure enough, by the fifteen minute mark, Nagi was already pressing up against Kousei's stiff body, her face red and her breath alcoholic in smell.
"So, tell me, Kousei, who do you like more?" Nagi drunkenly asked. "Me, or Emi?"
Kousei looked incredibly uncomfortable, but it would be worse if he didn't respond. "Uh…do I really have to choose?"
"Yes!" Nagi cried, her drinking sloshing around in its glass as she moved around violently in reaction.
"Um…then…" Kousei stuttered and stammered, looking around uncertainly, as though there would be something on the wall to tell him how to answer. It was all too clear he wasn't sure how he should reply, Emi noticed, and the fact that Nagi was being so assertive clearly wasn't helping. "N-Neither?" He finally answered with a shrug.
"No!" Nagi refused. "Its got to be either me or Emi! Which is it?" Nagi watched Kousei squirm for a bit longer, a frown on her face, before she sighed. "Fine. It's obvious you've got no clue yourself. Well, make sure you tell me once you do realize it, okay, Kousei?"
Kousei looked at Nagi inquisitively, but cracked a smile anyhow. "Well, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but if you want me to, Nagi, then I'll give it my all!"
As Kousei smiled brightly at her, Nagi scowled. "You're too adorable, dammit!" She shouted eventually, pouncing on Kousei and pinning him to the seat of the booth, hugging him desperately. "RAH! Life's so unfair! Why can't you just go out with me, huh?"
Emi snickered as she watched the two interact. While Nagi could sometimes be volatile when drunk, her assertive advances on Kousei usually came out then, a prime source of entertainment. Even if she hadn't been drunk, Emi was sure she'd have enjoyed herself all the same. These sorts of sentimental thoughts floating around her head, Emi and the others headed out of the bar after a few more drinks, their fill of celebration now had. Walking back to the nearby concert hall parking lot, the three piled into Emi's car.
As she turned the ignition, Emi noticed she was a tad tipsy, but nothing serious. The drive home shouldn't be too hard, though she was going to have to find her way to Nagi's midway through. That in mind, Emi left the parking lot, Kousei sitting calmly in the passenger's seat, Nagi lying asleep in the back, her head resting against the tension her seat belt provided.
Emi's eyes briefly shot over to the rear view mirror to glance at Nagi, and she smiled lightly as she drove. "You did that, didn't you?"
Kousei slowly pulled his eyes away from their reminiscing state out the window and looked confusedly at Emi. "Did what?"
She motioned to the sleeping Nagi behind her. "Got her all settled like that. You know, set her down gently back there, buckled up her seat belt, rested her head against it."
Kousei smiled lightly. "Oh, yeah. Well, she's had a full night. She deserves a good rest."
For a moment, only the hum of the car's engine could be heard as Emi drove, the lull in the conversation creating a sort of feeling of sleepiness. Eventually, though, the lull turned into a complete silence, and it became clear that no one had anything to add to the conversation. But that was okay. Emi was content with the silence. It was….almost peaceful. Peace wasn't something she often got.
Emi stole a glance at Kousei beside her. His gentle smile still lingered from earlier, but there was something there, something that tainted it. Instead of a smile of peace and content, melancholy was what stained Kousei's smile. The comment Nagi had made earlier popped into Emi's head; about how Kousei had no clue.
A thought sprouted in Emi's brain, and she hoped it was just paranoia.
Eventually, the quiet car ride was briefly put on hold to make a quick stop at Nagi's dorm room. Emi watched from the driver's seat, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other propping her chin up, as Kousei carried the sleeping Nagi bridal style up to the dorm. Emi waited in undisturbed silence for the few minutes it took Kousei to return. Then the two were off again, retaining the same quiet as before after Kousei made an amusing comment about Nagi.
Finally, they reached Emi's apartment. Pulling into her parking spot, Emi shut the car off, and she and Kousei got out. The two shivered in the cold as they walked to Emi's apartment's door, opening it and closing it quickly shut after they were through.
Once inside, Emi exhaled a sigh of relief, and threw her jacket lazily onto the floor. She didn't really feel like putting it away properly right now. In fact, she was quite ready to hit the sack. As such, she pulled off her fancy shoes and headed to the bedroom to change while Kousei pulled out the couch to turn it into a bed.
After she'd put on pajamas, or, at least, pajamas if you considered a tank top and short shorts to be pajamas, Emi returned to the living room to check up on Kousei. He'd already got his bed ready and was sitting on it, scrolling through the TV channels with the volume on low. Emi glanced over his appearance. He'd thrown off his suit jacket, and his tie hung loose over his neck, but that wasn't what concerned Emi. No, she frowned at his look of sadness. It wasn't so much a sadness like you had a fight with a loved one, or a pet ran away. It wasn't the sort of sadness that implied it couldn't be remedied. The sadness that stained Kousei's expression seemed to be of the defeated sort. Like he was sad about something he'd never be able to fix; that he'd always be sad about it.
Eventually, Kousei stopped flipping through channels as he reached a romance drama playing on a movie channel. His eyes seemed to widen as though in recognition as he saw it pop up on the screen, before returning to their depressed state.
"…Kousei?" Emi said softly, causing the young man to twist his body slightly to meet his eyes with hers. Emi glanced uncertainly to the side, somewhat unsure of how to bring up her concern for him. In the end, all she could say was, "I'm going to bed now. Good night."
Kousei gave a smile, though it was tainted with sadness. "Good night, Emi."
And with that, Kousei returned his attention to the movie on screen, watching intently as the two main characters embraced each other lovingly. Emi gave him once last sad look, before she turned around and headed to bed.
.
The glare of the morning sun woke Emi up the next morning, though it wasn't her wish. She'd rather have stayed asleep as long as possible, but apparently her window had other plans. Man, on the one of the two days she got off this week from work, she still had to be woken up early. Groaning in irritation, she reluctantly got up. Well, if she was already up, she might as well get some chores over with.
Yawning sleepily, Emi got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, glancing at Kousei's bed, before stopping short. She narrowed her eyes at the empty, crumpled blanket. Kousei wasn't there. Where'd he gone?
Suddenly, causing Emi to flinch, the door opened, and Emi turned on her heel to catch Kousei walking into the apartment, his cheeks and nose red from the cold. In his hand was a jug of milk, which he set down carefully before removing his outerwear. Finally, Kousei noticed Emi standing there, and stopped midway through pulling the sleeve of his jacket off of his arm.
"Oh…morning, Igawa," Kousei greeted her, continuing to take off his jacket. "You're up pretty early. What happened? You usually sleep in until noon."
"The sun woke me up; I forgot to draw the curtains last night." Emi explained, crossing her arms. "Where were you?"
Kousei grabbed the milk off the floor and held it up. "We were out of milk. I thought I'd go out and grab some." Milk in hand, Kousei crossed the distance to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and restocked it with new milk.
Emi frowned. It seemed a tad too early to be going out in the freezing cold just to get something as silly as milk. Maybe it was the part of her that loved sleeping in, but she would have considered it not worth it to get milk in the morning when you could just wait until it had warmed up a bit later in the day, especially considering neither of them really needed milk. But whatever. It was probably just Kousei going out of his way to be nice, as always.
Shrugging to herself, Emi grabbed some breakfast, and turned on the TV while she ate at the kitchen's island. It was still the same movie channel that had been playing the romance drama last night; clearly Kousei had either fallen asleep with it on or had else turned the TV off after it was done.
Just outside of Emi's point of focus, Kousei was cleaning up his bed and returning it to its couch form. After he'd put the cushions back, he crossed briefly past the TV and headed to the piano in the corner. It wasn't a grand piano, by any means; even with Emi's current job, she couldn't afford one of her own, and Kousei certainly couldn't. No, it was simply an electric one, but no one usually complained.
A thought occurred to Emi, and she turned to Kousei. "Say, don't you have a student coming over today?"
Kousei nodded, and pulled out the piano stool. "Yeah. Since you're up already, I figured I'd play a few notes, to get warmed up, before he gets here."
Emi glared at Kousei, who trembled uncertainly beneath her eyes. "Wait a second. If you're warming up now, that means the lesson isn't too far off. Did you schedule this without thinking about how I like to sleep in? Ooh, you're lucky I'm already awake, mister!" Emi growled threateningly.
Kousei put his hands up defensively. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'd honestly forgot about that fact when I was scheduling it with him! It just worked out that way! But you're awake now, so it's fine!"
Emi grumbled something under her breath, but let it slide. "Fine. Just wear headphones until he gets here, alright? I'm trying to watch the TV."
Kousei nodded graciously, and, after plugging in headphones to the electric piano, began to play silently beside Emi. Even though she didn't exactly want to, Emi couldn't help but let her eyes pull away from the TV over to Kousei. His expression was just so mesmerizingly passionate as he played; it reminded Emi of the many faces of those she competed against in her youth. Even though she couldn't hear what he was playing, she could tell it was being played with all his heart.
Eventually, Emi got up and got dressed, shutting the TV off as she did so. As she was standing in her room, examining her clothes to decide what to wear, a thought occurred to her. If Kousei was having a student come over today, than they wouldn't just be able to use headphones. Emi would have to listen to them play. Not that this was a bad thing, of course. There had been times in the past when Emi enjoyed listening to the pieces Kousei and his students would play on the rare occasions she got to sit in, even to the degree that she chimed in with helpful tips and instructions or even played parts of the piece that they were practicing herself. But today, well…she just wasn't feeling up to it. Besides, she was starting to worry about Kousei.
That sad look on his face that had been so poignant last night lingered in Emi's mind. It wasn't the first time she'd seen it, though; there had been several occasions in the past where Kousei had slipped up and let it show. But now…Emi wasn't sure why, but last night really had alarmed her. She wasn't sure why Kousei was sad, but she knew she cared about him enough to not want him to be any longer. She wasn't a psychiatrist, though, so she didn't know how to figure it out.
Nagi's words from last night flashed in Emi's brain. "Fine. It's obvious you've got no clue yourself. Well, make sure you tell me once you do realize it, okay, Kousei?"
What had she meant by that? Well, whatever it was, Emi had a feeling it was the reason for Kousei's depressed expression last night. Hmm…if Kousei was going to be playing piano with his student for a few hours, then that would leave Emi plenty of time to, say…meet up with Nagi.
Her mind made up, Emi threw on some warmer clothes and headed back out to the living room. Nothing had changed; Kousei was still playing the piano, the TV was still displaying flashy ads.
Suddenly, the doorbell rung, causing Emi to jump. With the relative quiet of the apartment, she hadn't been expecting it. She sighed at herself and walked over to the door, peering through the peephole. Behind it, a boy, one who looked like he was in high school, was standing casually outside their apartment, glancing around nonchalantly and warming his hands in his pockets.
Emi unlocked the door and swung it open, and the kid looked up at her. For a brief moment, Emi felt satisfaction run through her as she realised that she was at least taller than this kid, before it dawned on her that she should probably be saying something.
"So. You're Kousei's student, then?" Emi asked, enjoying the intimidated expression on the boy's face.
"U-Uh…yes, ma'am, I-I'm Mr. Arima's student." The boy stuttered. "But, um…is he in there? Do I have the right address?"
"Yeah, he's right over there." Emi threw her thumb over her shoulder to point at Kousei. "This is my apartment, but he lives here with me." Stepping aside and opening the door wider, Emi motioned for the kid to come in.
The boy hesitated, but slowly stepped inside after her, and peered into the apartment. A wave of relied visibly passed over him as his eyes fell on Kousei practicing on the left side of the apartment. Seeming satisfied, the boy removed his boots, gloves and jacket and headed over to Kousei, sheet music in hand. He tapped Kousei on the shoulder, who had been playing passionately in his own world up to this point, causing Kousei to turn around and realise the boy was there. His eyes widening, he quickly pulled off his headphones.
"Ah! You're here!" Kousei exclaimed, before quickly pulling the headphones out of the piano and setting them aside. "I'm sorry; I must not have heard you come in. Well, let's get started then, shall we?"
The boy nodded, and Kousei got up to let him sit on the stool, whereupon he placed his sheet music on the stand mounted above the electric piano. Quickly, Kousei began to get right into the lesson, asking the boy questions about his practicing, about the piece, and about his technique. Emi was surprised at all the expertise Kousei still held with him after all this time.
She rarely ever got to see Kousei's lessons first-hand; they were usually at the students' houses. This one must have been an exception. It was interesting to watch Kousei handle his teaching smoothly. Every time the boy messed up, Kousei would be right there beside him, helping him through the issue and never putting him down for the mistake. It was so very like him, Emi thought. She recalled how Kousei had initially taught Nagi back when she was thirteen. She never was around to see the lessons play out, but according to Nagi, he was a horrific failure of a teacher. Well, if that was true, then he must have improved a lot. Emi was even a little jealous of the fact that Kousei could still play so well, even after all this time. Emi hadn't properly practiced in years; all occasions of her playing were just for fun. Watching Kousei teach, Emi felt old memories from when she was more of a professional on the piano flickered in her mind.
But still, she had no reason to stick around, watching the two, even if it was sort of interesting. Emi felt it might be a little weird for the kid if she was just sitting there, staring at him play. She quickly headed to the door, put on her winter attire, and opened it. "I'm heading out for a bit. See you, Kousei!"
Kousei, who was in the middle of playing something for the kid, glanced behind him at her. "Oh, okay! See you later!"
With that, Emi headed out of the apartment, the cold air enveloping her body as soon as she did. She pulled out her phone and checked it to see if Nagi had responded to the text she'd sent earlier. Sure enough, Nagi had already replied, saying she'd be alright with hanging out with her. Relieved she hadn't declined, Emi texted her where she wanted to meet up and when, before slipping her phone back into her pocket.
Emi then hopped into her car, started it up, and sat and waited for a bit while the engine warmed the car up. It was convenient, though; the inconvenience of having to wait. Emi knew Nagi's dorm was farther from the location they were supposed to meet up at than was Emi's apartment. She decided to pass the time by listening to the radio.
Finally, after a few songs had played, the car seemed adequately warmed up, prompting Emi to pull out of the parking lot. Still letting the radio play, she drove down the street, her mind thinking about the route she'd need to take. Taking the necessary turns and exits, Emi eventually reached the restaurant she and Nagi had planned on meeting up at. She pulled into a parking space and got out of her car, scanning the ones around her.
It suddenly occurred go Emi that she didn't know what Nagi's car looked like…or if she even had one. Giving up on her search, Emi concluded with a sigh that she'd find out whether Nagi was there once she went inside. Checking her watch, though, she realised she was a bit early, so, given Nagi's personality, she wouldn't be surprised if she'd have to wait ten minutes past the agreed-upon time for her.
Clicking a button on her keys to lock her car's doors, Emi walked hastily through the cold to get to the much-awaited warmth of the restaurant's inside. Heading through the doors, she was graced with its heated entrance.
Suddenly, Emi remembered why she'd came, and swiveled her head around, searching for Nagi in the café. Her eyes told her, to her own reluctantly expected dismay, that Nagi hadn't yet arrived. Sighing in irritation, Emi found an empty table and ordered a coffee. Sitting around while she waited for both Nagi and her order, Emi watched the passerby through the window across the café. They looked so carefree and content…it made Emi sort of jealous.
Finally, Nagi walked through the doors, just a few minutes after Emi's coffee had arrived. Nagi gave a quick scan if the tables before her eyes found Emi, who she waved to cheerfully and walked over to.
"Sorry I'm a bit late; the bus took a while to get to my stop." Nagi explained as she hung her purse over the back of the chair and sat down comfortably. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about?"
Emi blinked. "Hang on…how do you know I wanted to talk about something specific? What if I just wanted to hang out?"
Nagi scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Oh, please. I've known you for over seven years now. You're not exactly the most…sociable person I've ever met. You inviting me to hang out is almost definitely a case of you wanting to talk with me about something. So…" Nagi exhaled the word, clearly reluctant, "what is it you wanted to talk about, exactly?"
Emi shuffled in her seat uncomfortably, second thoughts poisoning her brain. Shaking them away and strengthening her resolve, she spoke. "Its about Kousei."
Instantly, upon the utterance of Kousei's name, Nagi's eyes lit up and her entire body seemed to suggest she was newly engaged. "About Kousei?" She repeated. "Well, that's all you had to say! I'd do anything to help my beloved!"
Emi chuckled nervously. "Heh, heh…you know, Nagi, you really have changed a lot since you were a kid. Back when you first performed with Kousei, I never would have expected you to be so direct with your feelings towards him."
Nagi frowned. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Enough about me. So, what is it about Kousei that's troubling you?"
Emi looked down hesitantly, but ultimately spoke her mind. "I…I'm worried about him. This has happened a bunch of times, spread over the course of a few years, now, but…well, sometimes, when he thinks I'm not paying attention, he'll get this look on his face, like, a really sad look, you know? It looks depressed. He always looks defeated, like he's given up, when he makes that expression. I dunno…maybe I should have said something about it before to someone, but the thought occurred to me to talk to you about it, especially after I remembered the comment you made yesterday."
Nagi smirked. "Oh, so you picked up on that? Then has it occurred to you what might be happening behind that façade he puts up?"
Emi returned Nagi's smirk with an anxious expression.
"I'll take that as a yes, but, just in case, I'll just tell you my theory directly." Nagi said. "I think Kousei is still in love with Kaori Miyazono."
The words hit Emi like truck, but somehow at the same time felt like something she'd been expecting. She didn't know exactly how, but she felt that deep down, for a long time now, that worry had been festering in her mind. But now that it had been directly mentioned, she felt the weight of the words more than ever before.
"Hm. Well, you're closer to him than I am. Do you think that's a good analysis?" Nagi asked nonchalantly.
"I…" Emi began, unsure of what to say. She sighed. "As much as I want to keep ignoring it, I think you're right."
Nagi's smug grin hadn't left her face as she sat back in her seat. "That's what I figured. I mean, all the evidence points to it, right? For one thing, he's never had a girlfriend. He always rejects my advances and has never made a move on you, or has even attempted dating anyone. Whenever the topic comes up, he always gets uncomfortable, and tries to change the subject. Plus, he always watches romantic comedies or dramas but seemingly never for the reasons others do."
Emi frowned. "Last night…he made the expression I talked about. The sad, defeated one. He was watching a romantic drama, and staring at it with an empty expression. I get really worried. I mean, you'd think after seven years he'd finally move on, but it seems like he's still stuck on her. Like…what if he never gets past it? What if, until his final moments, Kousei still daydreams about the life he never got to have with Kaori?"
"Well, if that ends up happening, remind me to kick his ass." Nagi fumed. "Seriously, if he gets so obsessed over a fantasy, then he deserves it." Sighing, she leaned forward. "But I will give him credit for keeping it fairly hidden this whole time. It's a major feat to keep something secret from me, you know!"
Emi sighed as well. "Oh, Nagi, what am I supposed to do? I want to help him move on, but I don't know how. I'm not really a 'people person'."
"You can say that again." Nagi deadpanned. "But seriously, if you want him to move on, you just need to think about the core of the issue. He loved Kaori romantically, so all you need to do is fill in his romantic desires!"
Emi glared at Nagi. "If you're suggesting I go out with him, you can forget about it."
"No, of course not." Nagi replied dismissively. "I just mean you should get him on the dating scene. Clearly thinking about Kaori is a sad thing for him, but he can't help but do it. Dating a girl will get him to think about her instead, which will make him happy, which will in turn make him want to be with her even more! It's a simple solution, really."
"And I'm guessing you want to be the girl he dates, huh?" Emi remarked.
Nagi gave a melancholic chuckle. "Heh, heh…of course I'd love it if I could go out with Kousei. But it's clear he's not interested in me, no matter what I do. I'd only cause him more sadness. Its kind of hard for me to swallow, but the fact of the matter is Kousei will never look at me…not like that."
The poignancy of the statement hung over the two like a cloudy sky dampening the mood. Nagi's face was a sad smile, almost reminiscent of the kinds of smiles Kousei would make: superficially reassuring while hiding the internal sadness. Emi could tell Nagi didn't like the way things were, but that she couldn't change the situation. She was right, after all. Kousei never would fall for her; that much was evident after the years of doggedly going after him Nagi had put in. Even though it was surprising to see Nagi of all people hiding her sadness behind a smile, Emi unfortunately understood.
"Well, anyway…" Nagi sat straight in her seat, her demeanor returned to its usual confident state. "Emi, if you really are that worried about any lingering affection Kousei might have for Kaori, then just find him a girl to go out with. Or don't. I mean, you don't have to do anything right away, if you don't want to. It's just something to think about."
Emi frowned. Find him a girl to go out with? She said it as though it was a simple, easy task. Well, but Nagi was right about one thing: Emi was concerned about Kousei. She wasn't completely on board with setting him up with a girl and calling it good, but the potentiality that he still wasn't over Kaori even after all this time was alarming. Before acting, though, Emi wanted to confirm. Of course, how to go about doing that was another issue entirely.
"Thanks, Nagi," Emi at last replied. "You've been a big help. I'll definitely try your advice."
"Yeah, well, anything for Kousei, right?" Nagi grinned. "Well, anyway, I'll see you later, then. It was fun chatting with you!" With that, Nagi grabbed her purse and left, waving Emi goodbye as she did.
Emi returned the wave, before being left to sit amidst the quiet jumble of conversations mixing in the café, alone except for her thoughts. The issue of Kousei still floated around in her mind. What did she want to do? Did she want to immediately try to hook him up with some girl like Nagi had suggested? No, that didn't seem right, or fair to Kousei. It felt like she would be treating his feelings lightly, which, in light of the situation, wouldn't be the best idea; and besides, he probably wouldn't take it seriously anyway, which would defeat the purpose.
But then what would she do? She felt like she had to do something, but she didn't know what. Hmm…if the core of the issue was indeed his lingering feelings for Kaori, then she'd better focus on that. In that case, the best course of action would actually be confirming for sure that he still did have feelings for her instead if relying solely on Nagi's theory…right? Except…Emi didn't know how to do that. All the proof she really had was speculative connections between various evidences; nothing concrete, so she'd need something more. But she had no idea how to get it. It wasn't like she was a sleuth or something; and in a situation like this, she couldn't just go snooping around for clues.
Maybe…maybe she should talk to him directly.
Was that even a plausible plan? Emi kind of doubted it, even though in retrospect it seemed like the obvious solution. Especially whenever Kaori would come up in conversation, Kousei would shrink away, and would keep quiet, not really wanting to talk about her at all. Emi didn't think that he'd be willing to talk with her about such a sensitive as well as heavy topic.
So what should she do?
The question floated around in her head as she tossed some money on the table, got up, and headed to her car to drive away from the worrisome conversation that had found a home in that café.
.
As a good six out of seven days of each week were usually spent working, Emi was not accustomed to knowing how to spend her weekends, and given that this weekend she'd been given a special extra day off, Emi felt particularly unsure of what she would do when she got back to her apartment, both because of the lingering issue in relation to Kousei, who she would be encountering upon her return, and because of the risk that the lesson he was giving might not yet be over once she did return; Emi hadn't checked beforehand. As such, she procrastinated the drive back to her apartment by doing some useless, solo shopping at the mall for a while. In the end she hadn't bought anything, and found herself already almost back home.
Sighing as she got out of her car, Emi headed up to her apartment's door to open it, but stopped short. Cupping her ear against it, she strained to hear music from inside, though realized midway through that such an act was pointless given the thickness of the door. Ultimately, she just decided to go in and accept the consequences. Oh, well. It wasn't like it would be the worst thing in the world to walk in on their piano lesson.
Before going in, Emi made sure to grab the mail from the mailbox. Opening the door, mail in hand, Emi stepped inside, and saw that the kid from before was indeed still there. It appeared as though he'd been in the middle of playing when she'd interrupted.
"O-Oh, sorry for interrupting," Emi apologized as she removed her coat and boots.
"Its alright," Kousei replied dismissively. "We're just about done here anyway. The lesson's scheduled to be over in about five minutes."
Emi nodded, and took off her boots before heading to the kitchen area, where she casually leaned against a counter to glance at the mail. Most of it was either advertisements or bills that she'd have to deal with sometime later, but near the bottom she stopped.
It was a letter from Watari. Emi raised her eyebrows in surprise. That was strange. Why was Watari mailing her stuff? Thinking, Emi realized it must have been for Kousei. She couldn't help but wonder herself what was within the envelope, though. Controlling herself, however, Emi set it on the counter and made a mental note to remind Kousei of it when he was done.
Soon enough, Kousei had given his student his last bit of advice for the day, and the kid was heading to the door with his sheet music in his hands. After he'd put on all his winter gear, he waved goodbye to Kousei and left, disappearing from sight with Kousei's closing of the door.
"Sorry about that, Igawa," Kousei apologized. "I really should have told you that his lesson was going to be here instead of at his house like usual. I'd just forgotten that you'd gotten an extra day off and thought it'd be fine."
Emi gave him a reprimanding scowl, but ultimately softened her expression. "Ah, it's fine. Just let me know, next time. It's my apartment, remember?"
Kousei rubbed his neck sheepishly with a nervous laugh. "Heh, heh…"
"Oh, yeah, you got a letter," Emi said, sliding it across the island. "From Watari. I don't know what it's about, but you should probably take a look."
"From Watari?" Kousei repeated confusedly, taking the letter and examining it. "Huh. I wonder what it says." Ripping the envelope open, Kousei took out the actual letter, and flipped it the right way around to read it. Despite herself, Emi's curiosity forced her to go around the island to the side Kousei was on so she could see as well.
The two took a look at the letter. It seemed fairly standard, with no special attributes. Just a paragraph of writing on a white sheet of paper.
Kousei, who was holding it, decided to read aloud. "Uh…Dear Kousei and Emi—oh, he sent this to both of us, then?" Kousei remarked, glancing at Emi with surprise before continuing. "As you may or may not know, Tsubaki's returning from her stay in America! And because I'm such a good friend, I decided to host her welcome back party, which will be occurring next Friday at nine. You two are invited, of course, and feel free to bring presents. I hope to see you there!"
Finished reading, Kousei glanced wide-eyed at Emi. "Wow. Tsubaki's returning, then, huh? It's been so long since I'd last seen her, I must have forgotten to pay attention to when she was due to come back."
Emi frowned pensively. "Hmm…oh yeah, she was in America, wasn't she? I forget why, though."
"Well, I'm not exactly sure of the details, but I guess she was staying there for her university program or something. I think she was studying English there or something?" Kousei theorized.
"Out of anyone, I would have expected you to know the most about the happenings in Tsubaki's life, Kousei." Emi scolded, jabbing him lightly in the ribs. "Aren't you her childhood friend? Hell, isn't she one of your closer friends in general?"
Kousei frowned sadly. "Well…we were. Its just…after the whole thing with…after…after that happened…Tsubaki and I kind of grew more distant. I'm not sure why or if it was either if our faults, but that's just the way things worked out. We were still sort of friends when she left for America, but after that, we didn't talk much, given the problems of long distance communications and all that…well, in short, we're not nearly as close as before. Knowing her, though, she'll greet me the same as always at the party and pretend she was never gone."
Emi stared concernedly up at Kousei as he recounted the events. It sounded like he was sad about what had happened between him and Tsubaki, but yet again, the sort of defeated look Emi had noticed before was creeping in on his expression and even in his tone of voice. It was like the distance that had formed in between Tsubaki and him was something he'd accepted, like a fact of life he hadn't bothered to fight.
"Well…whatever you say," Emi finally said, turning on her heel and heading in the direction of the closet at the end of the hall. "C'mon, we can worry about the party later. Right now we've got to do some chores, and you're going to be helping out big time, buster. You don't stay at my place for free, remember? This'll be payment for the fact that I don't make you pay as much rent as I should."
Kousei nodded as he joined her over by the closet. "I know, I know. I'm sorry the income of a teacher is less than one of an office worker in some big ticket company."
"Hey! No sass!" Emi scolded, before handing him a vacuum. "I'll be washing the bathroom, and you'll be vacuuming the place, got it?"
"OK..." Kousei sighed.
The rest of the day was mostly spent doing chores and subsequently goofing off once the two got distracted. While Emi was separated from Kousei, her cleaning the bathroom and him vacuuming the place, they were able to actually be productive, but as soon as the two were in the same room together, like when they shared the task of dusting, Emi decided to play some of her dance music while they worked, and soon it devolved into a dance party for the two of them, using the feather dusters as microphones and sliding down the hall on their socks. Emi found herself having so much fun that the whole problem she'd talked with Nagi about earlier that day seemed like it hadn't even happened. At least for now she wanted to enjoy this moment; whether for Kousei's sake or her own she wasn't sure.
Pretty soon evening arrived, and, being as classy as she was, Emi opted to simply order take-out as opposed to actually going out someplace. Luckily, however, Kousei was never one to judge, and Emi had guessed that he wasn't really in the mood to get all dressed up and go someplace to eat.
After she'd placed the order, Emi flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. "Hey, Kousei," she called.
Kousei appeared from the hallway. "Yeah?"
"What do you wanna watch?" Emi asked as she went on to Netflix and began scrolling through some of the movie options. "I want to watch a movie, so do you have any suggestions?"
Kousei joined her on the couch. "Hmm…how about that one?" He pointed to the screen at the movie Emi was on. It looked like the romantic drama that had been on the other day. Emi narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Kousei. It hadn't really been something she'd thought about directly, but the thought had been floating around in her head: I wonder if this movie was making him think of Kaori.
Still, though, she couldn't know for sure, and she wasn't going to get in a fight with Kousei about something so trivial. Well, at least it might be a good way to tell. Emi nodded her agreement, hit play, and sat back.
The movie started, and Emi turned off the lights so that the only thing lighting her apartment was the TV screen. The romantic drama turned out to be pretty slow-paced, with a lot of gradual build, but Emi found herself getting pretty into it. The two main characters, love interests for each other, were constantly friends throughout most of it, but Emi could tell they had feelings for one another. Then, in the final act, the girl had to move away because of her family, leaving the boy broken-hearted. Miraculously, though, she came back at the end, and the two became a couple, making for a heart-warming happy ending.
As the movie reached the credits, Emi couldn't help but study Kousei's expression. It was, just as she'd feared, his sad, depressed, defeated one, and it seemed to be in full swing whenever the two main characters were the most intimate. But then, curiously, right at the end, when the girl came back to the boy, Kousei's eyes welled up with tears, and a sort of happiness flickered across them, like the sight of the two returning to one another gave him joy.
As the end credits finally rolled, Emi sat back in her seat and stared up at the ceiling. It was undeniable. Kaori was clearly on Kousei's mind, all the time, haunting him.
Emi just wondered how long it would take before the ghost took Kousei's soul with it.
.
Well, here it is, everyone! My next fanfiction.
I know I said I was going on a bit of a hiatus, which I did, but maybe you guys were expecting something more drastic, in which case…I'm sorry for misleading you? Well, I'm back at any rate! And I hope you guys really like this one! I know I loved writing it.
This one was a bit of a weird one. I honestly wasn't sure what anime to write about, but eventually I wondered what life might be like for characters past their series' endings, and I applied it to Your Lie in April. I think I enjoyed this one a lot because it's not really what one might expect a story continuing off of YLIA to be, as it focuses on characters other than the main ones (with the exception of Kousei, of course). I think it's interesting seeing his life now in this scenario, and I hope you do too.
Well, anyway, as always, I hope you like it, and please feel free to leave me a comment, fav and follow. Also, this will be several chapters long, I just don't know how many long. We'll see where it takes me.
Until next time!