My take on what Mrs Lovett would have been feeling during the days when Mr Todd was with his precious Lucy.
It starts off as a dull ache…it's true what they say about it being in your chest. Your lungs tighten and you can't breathe, every small movement of your heart sends a flutter through your body until it spreads to your stomach, your legs and arms and makes you numb. A walking statue. Days merge into one, punctuated only by the occasional heightening of the pain that constantly grips you.
When you see them together.
Wishing that you could be the one in his arms, the one in his heart. You can't escape it, it's like they won't let you. You see them as a couple and they smile and wave, mocking you. The bitterness begins to grow with the pain. Every night you fall hard against wooden floor boards, tears falling like the world should soon end, pooling in the hands you hold to your face.
Things go blurry after that. Books fall, curtains rip, a mirror shatters, you see red. There's a banging on the door. You rush to slam the bolt across; it slides into place with a dull, resounding clunk. It's an echo. They're outside, want to know if you're okay, heard noises while they were upstairs, they did. You lie; the biggest one you've ever told.
'I'm fine.' They know you're lying because your voice is trembling and they can see the blood you smeared across the glass window pane when you locked the door. You can't stand the look of concern on her face when she looks through at you; you want to slap her for her sympathy. She gives him a sad smile and a shrug, if only you could lip read, you think. You want to wipe that smile away. Forever.
One day I'll get you.
Guilt runs through you at the thoughts of things you'd like to do. You visualize it, and smile. It makes you happy to think that you could end her perfection. You remind yourself of the guilt you would feel, that would hurt you, if you hurt her.
Nothing could hurt more, though, than the pain you're currently feeling. The pain they're putting you through. No, nothing could be worse…
Than his wordless 'I don't love you'…