Disclaimer: I DON'T own Invader Zim...YOU HEAR ME JHONEN! STOP RUBBING IT IN MY FACE!

Warning: ZADR and if you don't like it, then don't read it...because it's my first time writing one of these so be nice...o.k.?

'Boyfriend'

While the rest of the world was just waking up to their meaningless Saturday morning rituals in a part of a ho hum community that was no different from any others, a small green alien invader by the name of Zim was cackiling at a new invention of his own making in the privacy of his alien base.

"Yes! I am truly AMAZING! One day I shall rule all you stinkbeasts!" He yelled as he jumped up in his seat and yelled at the loading screen on his computer screen.

Zim was very pleased with himself for he had just set up a particularly advanced spyware camera up in his arch enemy Dibs' home. Now the Dib-beast would have no privacy, and when Zim said no privacy, he ment NO privacy. His camera would be able to follow him discreetly with every move that he made...He would never know. This wed ay whenever he got a lead on Zims' plans Zim would have a forewarning, a little insurance if you please. Zim cackled again at the loading screen as it disappeared and was replaced with a full vision of the Dib human. Zim stopped cackling. The human was apparently trying to divest himself of his own skin. Zim squinted at himself as he realized that Dib must not always wear his black over coat, but that was not all he was trying to do. Zim's eyes widened as he watched Dib pull off his skin tight black shirt with the blue smiley on it. Suddenly Zim got the peculiar feeling that he should turn off the camera right now, he shouldn't be watching this, but he couldn't look away. Dib then started to unzip his pants after first removing his boots. Zim stood staring at the unknowledgeable Dib standing in nothing but his boxers. Suddenly Zim was overcome with another peculiar feeling though this was most unlike the first. Now heat was slowly rising in his cheeks and in another area as well. Zim had never felt like this before and it frightened him. He suddenly wondered what Dib would look like without his pair of long shorts on, at this Zim smacked himself. He looked from his hand and back to the screen again, then as though his perverted thought had drifted through the camera somehow Dib placed his hands around the material at his waist. Coming to his senses at the last moment Zim punched a large purple button and the screen shut off.

Zim sat stunned at what he had seen and was panting lightly. If he could have he also would have perspired.

"What was I thinking?" Zim mused aloud to himself as he always did.

In the corner of the room there was a flash of blue, then there was a loud screech and a fairly large hunk of metal flung itself across the lab at an amazing speed and crash landing on top of Zim's head causing the alien to fall to the floor with a loud clatter.

"GIR! Get OFF of my head!" Zim screeched as the hyperactive, malfunctioning robot broke into a chorus of some song otherwise unknown to the population of man. The robot slowly climbed off his head and stared apathetically at the alien. Zim muttered something about Gir's systems and updating them as he walked to the portal that would take him upstairs through the toilet. He had just reached the opening when the robot spoke in his disgustingly high annoying voice.

"Master has a BOYFRIEND!"

"WHAT did you say!" Zim howled as he spun around to stare at his metallic, blue menace.

"Say who?" The little robot replied innocently.

"Arrgh! NEVERMIND!" Zim threw back as he stormed upstairs.

It was Monday and Dib was eager to get to school as he wolfed through the last of his cereal. He didn't understand it, he hadn't seen Zim all weekend; he must be plotting another diabolical plan to take over the Earth, Dib made it a point to find out what he was planning. At that point Gaz walked into the kitchen with her GS2 and sat down at the table.

"Haven't seen your stupid foreign friend here this weekend."

"He must be plotting something Gaz, and he's not my friend. It's probably something big, like the time he stole mars and tried to squish out all life or that one time with the giant-"

"When I said I haven't seen your friend Dib. I meant it as a statement NOT as a cue for you to start talking..."

"Sorry Gaz. I gotta get to school. I gotta find out what Zim is up to." Dib said, completely disregarding what his scary sister had said as he grabbed his stuff and darted out the door. Gaz grabbed the box of cereal and tipped it upside down over an empty bowl waiting on the table. A few crumbs fell into the crockery.

"Dib ate all the cereal...HE WILL DIE!"

Zim pondered Gir's statment in the privacy of his underground base as Gir watched the Scary Monkey Show upatairs. 'Boyfriend'? Wasn't that some form of human companionship? Why would he want Dib as a companion? Did his feelings have something to do with 'boyfriend'? Zim couldn't stop thinking about the Dib-human- thing for some reason, but these weren't the normal thoughts he had of Dib monkey. Whenever he started to think of Dib nowadays he would remember that scene he had witnessed on the spycam which he hadn't had the audacity to turn on since the incident. He would think of things like his peach colored skin, his broad shoulders, his chest...how it would feel to grab ahold of the small earthanoids'... AHH! He was doing it again! What was this feeling? Zim stared abashed at himself, he felt so shameful yet he did not fully understand why. He understood that these thoughts he was having about Dib wheren't hateful like they should be and that made him feel ashamed, but there was something else. For some reason he longed to hear his voice, just the usual threats and insults were ok, but he NEEDED to hear them. Everytime he thought of Dib he got hot in the face for some reason he felt extremely...what was the word?...embarrassed! That was it embarrassed as if he were naked in front of him, but there was no need to feel like this, no reason at all. No Irken should feel inferior to an earthanoid scum baby! Why, the very thought of it enraged him! Yet he couldn't deny what he felt. He decided he would not act upon these feelings until he got more information on the subject. He decided to contact the Tallest and tell him of these...emotions...he had been having.

"WWWWWHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE! HHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! The Scary Monkey Show went off! I need it to come back on! I need it or I will go IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNE!" Gir screeched with glass breaking capacity.

"Come on Gir...Let's go get some tacos..."

"TACOS!"

Dib was starting to worry. Zim hadn't been at school all week and it was now Thursday. Had he already put his evil plans into action? No Dib would be the first to know, surely Zim would want to gloat about it, but as far as he could tell Zim was doing absolutely nothing these past few days. He had even gone over to Zim's house to spy on him, but he would just sit on his fake couch and think and sometimes talk aloud to himself while his crazy robot bounded happily around the place. Something wasn't right here, and he was going to find out what it was. Was Zim sick, could he get sick? He did have reactions to rain and the food, could he have possibly have fallen ill? He didn't look in poor condition, he looked perfectly fine, but whatever it was Dib promised himself he would find out if he had to walk up and knock on his front door.

Well that's it for chappie 1 please R&R. This is my first ZADR so no flamers...CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISICM ONLY...please?