The ships alarm had gone off a couple of hours before, and a voice now filled my lab telling the crew to get ready for impact. I had not expected to be interrupted in my research; normally the alarm went off again after a couple of hours, when a Federation warship came to bail us out of whatever trouble we got into. Yes, my ship is a science-vessel, currently flouting around near Vulcan. I have been here for two years, working as a researcher and handywoman. I had studied Programming and Engineering back at the Academy, finishing at the top of my class, thank you.

I rapidly ran my fingers over my PADD to secure my newest experiment, and the container sealed and secured it just a moment before the ship trembled with a force I have only experienced back at the Academy in simulations. The intercom went on again:" Ensign Melander, report to Transporter". I jogged down the corridors while trying to get through the panicking crewmembers running around like headless chickens. The intercom went on again, when I reached the turbolift.

"Code 6 has been upgraded to code 8. Our mission: Assist Vulcan in evacuation. Repeat: Code 6 has been upgraded to code 8"

The lift was full, but I managed to get out at deck 4 and reach the Transporters without been tramped down. I was only 165 cm small and the only reason people sometimes noticed me was because of the red mop of hair on my head. Oh, and when they would noticed I was the only one wearing glasses in whole Starfleet.

I suddenly remembered I still had them on, and ripped them off, just in time when the doors opened the Transporter-room, revealing God of USS Knight. Commander Larkin stood dark and tall leaning over a cadet sitting at the control panel to his great displeasure. Larkin barked at him, while the cadet shivered and mumbled: "yes sir!"

I didn't know what exactly to do. Well until Commander Larkin realized I had arrived. 190 cm of pure rage, often directed to the smallest target. Which was me, everybody else is well over 170 cm, bloody bastards. "Melander! Get your ass over here and start repairing the transporter! Report immediately when you are done, we need to get them up NOW!" he snapped at me and I was handed a toolbox and shoved to control panel. The cadet flew out of the chair and ran for the doors. Lucky bastard. I heard the door hiss open and the Commander disappeared with the fleeting cadet. I quickly dumped the idea of trying to navigate the software that was installed in the panel; it would take precious moments to learn even the basic. I dumped my personal PADD over the screen and connected it to the transporter system. The system was crashing from an overload; it couldn't handle the extra boost of energy from the engine room. I cursed the system and Starfleets female uniform while I grabbed a laser from the toolbox and crawled under the panel. It took 3 min to reroute the wires, and I practically screamed at the intercom to contact the Bridge when the PADD suddenly, without having fixed anything, signaled clear to go. I was rewarded with an even louder scream telling me to move my ass and get the transporter started. I tried to ignore the noise in the background, but the sound of raised voices was too insisting. I heard something about "unidentified war-vessel of Romulan appearance", but the line was cut off. Back to work.

My fingers flew over the PADD and after the familiar flash of light, were there 3 children on the pad. I snapped at them: "Get off the pad!" While I searched for other vulcans to beam up, suddenly the system went offline. I snarled at it and smashed my hand on the PADD, when it stayed offline. That's when I looked up and saw it through the window. We were no longer in the orbit of Vulcan. We were actually pretty far away already. That did explain why it went offline, but not why we were moving away already. But when the planet collapsed.

The horrible sight of Vulcan disappearing. The intercom went on again, but I heard nothing. The sight overtook all my senses. I could not even feel one of the children punch my back, screaming something I could not translate.

It was just…

It was just gone…

And when the light blinded me as the shockwave hit the ship, throwing everybody to the floor.

…

I regained conscience again. My head hurt, and my hand got wet when I pressed it against my skull. I thought the ringing sound was only in my head, but when I realized it was the evacuation-alarm signaling to abandon ship. I looked around for the children. The youngest was lying still, but the chest kept going up and down, when I gently picked her up. Her tiny body was warm but her hand was sticking out in a weird direction. The two boys had been shielded by the control panel, and got up when I had rearranged the girl in my arms, so I could grip my PADD. They didn't say a word as I commanded them to the shuttles. The girl stiffened in my arms but remained unconscious, as we marched down the empty corridors. We must have been the last to leave, but I didn't have time to check. The children were now my responsibility and I lead them in to one of the shuttles that have been left behind. It was small and only made for 3 people, but I hoped 3 children would only be counted as 2 grownups. The door closed and locked with a hiss and we flew out in the darkness. The boys stared at me with their dark eyes. They looked like the photos I had seen of Spock when he was a child. I could feel the girl's heart flutter like a bird, but there was nothing I could do.

There were nothing left of Vulcan. There would be no more warm holiday-trips with dad, oh God, please let dad be home at Earth and not on some weekend-trip again. I banged my head at the wall (to the boys utterly surprise) when I remembered Sarek. There was noo waay that Vulcan would be at Earth this time a year. And Amanda! Ohh, please let Amanda be alive! Please let her be on one of her Visit-Spock-At-Earth-Trips, and I promise I will pray every day for a year! I could not stand the thought of no more surprise-visits from Auntie Amanda and that awkward happy smile of hers when she saw Spock after a long time.

Oh, right! Spock would not be on Vulcan, he would be back at Earth! I began giggling when I remembered the last time I saw him back at Earth. We had a heated argument over me "running away" and something about "leaving the incident physically is not the same as leaving mentally". I could still not believe that he, a human/Vulcan hybrid, would lecture me on my "unstable human emotions". I had swiftly ended the argument after that comment with a punch to his face and a dramatic exit. The boys looked at me as if they were studying a chimpanzee. They must think I was mad, banging my head and giggling like an idiot after such a disaster. I was doing to ask them if they were all right, but the oldest rose from his seat and leaned over me. He quickly touched my shoulder and I knew what was coming when I felt him adding pressure to the touch.

There was nothing I could do when the darkness overtook my body and I blacked out.

Today must be the day I die.

But I didn't.