Okay, I got a request to do a songfic for a user who asked not to be named, so that's that. But it is a Shizaya songfic to the song Wounded by Good Charlotte. This is my first time doing one so please don't be too hard on me ne? ^^; also, I do want some feedback but refrain from flames because I will just ignore them ;)
Lost, and broken
Hopeless and lonely
Smilin on the outside
I hurt beneath my skin
I felt the weary pain of depression wash over me as I walked the streets again. There was nothing left for me to see, nothing left for me to analyze. Only left to remember and break down about. I kick a rock across the pavement, scuffing the tip of my shoes, but it seemed of no matter to me now. Nothing to look presentable for, hell, I really didn't care any more.
My eyes are fading,
MY soul is bleedin,
I'll try to make it seem okay,
But my faith is wearin thin
I look forward, exchanging goofy grins with those who care to lift their spirits. I can already feel myself slipping though. Slipping into an oblivion that has my named scrawled across the top. I'll smile at the tears, laugh through the pain, hoping that maybe it will wash away whatever gray still drapes over my shoulders, but nothing seems to take it away.
But then there he goes.
He walks in long strides, his hair a disarray of beautiful gold and bronze. His honey pooled eyes hidden behind periwinkle shades. His true character hidden behind the rage that consumes him. That's when I feel my legs move.
I feel myself running towards him, my tears streaming down my face, but I hadn't the energy to wipe them away. I drop to my knees just a few feet from him.
So help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long,
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault.
That I'm open, and I'm bleedin,
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me sew them up.
He looks over to me, I see the shades slowly fall from his eyes, revealing the rage and confusion intertwining in them. He says not a word, but he stalks over towards me, lifting me by the hem of my shirt and pulling me to his face.
"What the hell are you doing here flea," he hisses, people have already moved away, knowing that our confrontations usually end in mass destruction, but I haven't the heart to move a muscle in defense.
"Does it really matter? No matter where I am, no matter who is there, the same bullshit that follows me every day makes itself evident in my pain," I say, holding back a sob. Tears are readily sliding down my face now, and I watch his expression melt.
"Izaya?" he asks, "Um, are you alright?"
I only wanted a magazine,
I only wanted a movie screen,
I only wanted the life I read about and dreamed.
But now my mind is an open book,
And now my heart is an open wound,
And now my life is an open soul for all to see
"Tch, doesn't matter to you does it? You should enjoy this, my misery and all, I mean life really just isn't all that it's cracked up to be anymore. Sugar coated lies, that all life is. And now, it's burning. Flames caressing every falsehood that I was wrapped up in. Ha! You must love it," I said, laughing pitifully. But the man's expression proved otherwise, as he lowered me down to the ground, and sat beside me.
"That's… That's not it," he stuttered. He seemed to be at a loss for words. But I knew that this was just going to end the same way. Everything blowing up in my face. Every one laughing at my disgrace.
But help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long,
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault.
That I'm open, and I'm bleedin,
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me—
"Tell me, why are you like this..? What happened to that cocky ass grin you used to wear? Where is the gleam in your eyes? Why are you so.. so sad?" he asked. The composure of hate and rage had melted and fallen through the cracks. He was showing his true colors, to me. Of all people, he showed them to me.
"Love… Love happened. Love is a heartless bitch. Life, is a heartless bitch," I laughed, "And I was the dumb ass troll who fell for everything~!" I sang between tears.
So you come along,
I push you away,
Then kick and scream for you to stay,
Cause' I need someone to help me
Oh I need someone to help me…
"Look, I can—"
"No, don't waste your time, just leave me hear hm? Just, let me go… Blend into what ever colorless scheme is painted on this torn canvass," I say. Though I don't mean a damn word.
"Izaya…" he says, but I look away. I cant bear to look at his eyes now. I see his shadow cast vertically as he stands up and slowly walks away. I watch him walk. The distance blinding me. His steps are slow, careful, thoughtful, but they continue to recede. I can't bear the loss. My legs move again. Clumsy, but forward. I go until he is a few feet infront, and I lunge forward, using what ever strength I have left to lift myself from the pavement and to his back.
To help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open,
And I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
"Oi, Izaya!" he said in surprise.
"Shizuo, please, try, try this. I want to try this!" I yelled through tears, not making particular sense but enough to get across my point.
"Izaya I—"
"Please… Just.. please? I can't expect you to save me. I can't expect you to want to help me… But I was hoping that I.. that we," but he cuts me off and slides me off his back, standing to face me.
"Shizuo I—" But I'm cut off by the man placing his lips over my own. Ghosting almost. It was light, it was passionate. It was more than I had ever known. It was loving.
"I want to try this too," he said slowly after pulling away. I felt myself fall into him, as he put his arms around me, encasing me in a warm embrace.
"I.. I—" I was cut off by one more kiss, no heavier than the one before, but more confident. More meaningful. It was right.
"I love you too," he said, after pulling back again.
And I need someone to help me sew them,
I need someone to help me fill them,
I need someone to help me close them up.
And for the first time today, I felt the resolve that I was longing to feel.
I know, it was corny as hell… But oh well! Hope you like this anon and friends ^^
Happy Reading,
~Eri-chan