Title: Dating Mister Davis
Author: Kristie "Knack From Way Back"
Feedback: Is loved. Really, I'm not just saying that. Thank you all you feedback people! You rock!
Pairing: Maureen/Joanne, Mark/Roger. Mentioned past Mark/Maureen, Maureen/Roger, Roger/Mimi, and Roger/April. Collins is also a featured character.
Word Count: 959

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: Maureen, Mimi, and Mark compare dating experiences with Roger. Written for speed rent
Notes: Written for speed rent challenge # 183. The prompts were 'cow', 'twister', 'California', 'marijuana', and 'clubbing'. Kind of like "Tango: Maureen" at some points (see summary). Title's a play on "Driving Miss Daisy", which this fic is no way based on at all.
Special Thanks: Jess "Best Ass Below 14th" for giving me the random animal I needed for this story without asking any questions.
Spoilers: Collins smokes marijuana? Ohmygasp! 'Over the Moon', 'Tango: Maureen'. More stuff involving different pairings.
Warnings: Drug and alcohol use. Mark/Roger. And lots of Roger bashing. You know you love it!
Disclaimer: I only own myself. And I, unfortunately, am not Rent. The line "It's not something I brag about." comes from an episode of 'Boy Meets World' I happened to catch the day I wrote this.

"Oh come on, Pookie!" Maureen elbowed Mark, "You must remember when we used to go clubbing!"

Mark looked at his feet nervously, "I-I don't know what you're talking about, Maureen."

"We used to go to some of the hottest night clubs around! I taught you how to do the 'Cotton Eyed Joe", and you tried to teach me to tango. Which, I've, like, excelled at! Even though it was hard learning that at a nightclub!"

"Hold on!" Roger put his hand on Mark's knee, "You can tango?"

"It's not something I brag about."

"Are you any good?"

Joanne nodded for him, taking a sip of her cup of Stoli that Collins had so generously given her, "He's really good, just not backwards."

"Wait, wait, wait. You two tangoed? When was this?" Maureen looked at Joanne and then at Mark.

"That Christmas Eve. The night of your protest that caused the riot. It might've been you I tangoed with if you had been there!" Joanne snapped

"Collins, do you have anything stronger than this?" Maureen stood up.

"You know, I think Mark and Joanne would have made a cute couple!" Mimi said from the beat up recliner she was sitting in, in the loft.

Roger frowned, "But…"

"Well, if Mark was with Joanne, you could be with Maureen!"

Collins spit out his Stoli, as Roger winced.

"Been there, done that." Maureen sat back down, after having her cup of Stoli refilled.

"What!" was the response from everyone except Roger and Maureen.

"It was high school!" They both defended themselves.

Collins and Mimi were laughing so hard that they were having trouble breathing.

"Did you go clubbing?" Mark asked, still giggling.

"Yeah!" the drama queen put her arm around the very scared songwriter, who then moved closer to the filmmaker, "Roger got us fake ID's. Oh, you were so romantic."

"Wait," Joanne spoke up, "So you two were serious about each other?"

Roger buried his face in his hands, as Maureen nodded excitedly.

"Do you still have the tattoo?" Maureen fought to pull Roger's shirt off over his head.

"Maureen! What are you doing!" Roger yelled, angrily.

"Oh, see guys. Right there!" Maureen pointed to a small black line on Roger's side, "If you look close it says 'Maureen'."

"I never noticed that!" Mimi said, interested, "And we were together for a long time. Until certain people discovered romantic feelings for their male roommate."

"Mimi…" Roger started, feeling guilty as he pulled his shirt back on.

Mimi smiled as if to say, "Its okay.", and then asked, "Mark, had you ever noticed that?"

Mark shook his head, "I've seen the tattoo, but I always figured it was just a squiggly line."

"And you know the protest with the cow?" Maureen started.

"Oh, Maureen, please don't. Please, please don't."

"Well, Roger gave me this stuffed cow once," Maureen smiled, ignoring Roger's requests, "and I named it Elsie."

Mimi smiled suspiciously, "Roger has a thing for stuffed animals, doesn't he? He got me a stuffed California Grape once."

This made everyone laugh. Except for Roger, who's face was now buried in a pillow, while he mumbled, "This isn't happening" over and over again.

"No kidding?" Mark laughed, "With me it was a stuffed wildebeest. I'm not even kidding."

Collins laughed to himself, pulling the marijuana cigarette out of his mouth, and then offering Joanne a joint, which she kindly refused.

This is intriguing thought Joanne.

Roger is one crazy bitch thought Collins.

"And, you guys gotta admit," Mimi put her hands out in front of her, "the pet names get kind of annoying."

Mark nodded in agreement, but Maureen made a face.

"Actually, I introduced Roger to the wonderful world of nicknames, didn't I, Sweetie Squirrel?"

Roger visibly cringed as everyone else laughed.

"And what's up with the 'Wizard of Oz' obsession?" Mark threw his arms in the air, "Every time we hear something about twisters, he's like 'Maybe it'll come here and we'll get to see Oz!' And he was singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' in the shower this morning!"

"If he only had a brain." Mimi commented.

Roger then stormed off behind the curtains that blocked off the room he shared with Mark. He wasn't mad, just embarrassed. Though with Roger, you could never tell.

"And that temper!" Roger's ex-girlfriends and current boyfriend shouted in unison.

"But you think he's gotten mad at us?" Mark asked the women, "You should've seen him with April. You did, Maureen! She would piss him off so bad…"

"Well, I just blamed it on the drugs." Roger could hear Maureen say.

Roger pulled the curtain back, "It wasn't just the drugs! April just liked to pick and pick and pick. It was obnoxious. Much like Maureen's pushiness, Mimi's arguing, and Mark when he's drunk! And Benny in general!"
Mimi, Mark, and Maureen frowned as Roger sighed.

"You dated Benny?" Joanne looked up, confused.

Roger shook his head in disgust.

"Am I really obnoxious when I'm drunk?" Mark looked to everyone else in the industrial loft.

"Yes." They all nodded.

Roger pulled the curtain again, and Mark got up to go after him.

"Roger," Mark pulled the curtain shut behind him, "you know we're just kidding, right?"

Roger nodded, "I know. It's just embarrassing, I guess."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned Wilmer Wildebeest."

"Or 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'."

"Sorry," Mark stared at his own feet.

"Oh, come on Mark! It's okay! You know I can never stay mad at you!" Roger pulled the geeky filmmaker into a lip lock.

"Let's go back." Mark whispered.

"Sure thing, Marky Mark."

"Oh, please. Not. That. One." Mark hissed through his teeth, which were only inches away from Roger's.

"Oh, all right," Roger put his arm around Mark, "Marky Sharky."

THE END