Title : A child of you
Author : Sesshy-girl (aka Sesshy's wife)
Disclaimer : Inu-Yasha's characters aren't mine, only Sesshômaru . Haï haï, we are married, you didn't know it ? n.n And we have twin sisters, two small hanyô : Amaya and Ayaka ! n.n
But even if the marriage is a form of property, unfortunately, Sesshômaru and all others characters of this manga belong initially to Rumiko Takahashi. TT.TT
Only Hisoka, Kokoro, Kotarô and Yuri are mine.
Summary : (Songfic.) Rin grew well. Now she is a splendid young woman of twenty years. Sesshômaru, the powerful taïyoukaï, didn't change. If these aren't the indifferent feelings for the young ningen that were driven in a deep love for his protected.
Paring : SesshômaruXRin with a light bottom of MirokuXSango and Inu-YashaXKagome.
Note : English is not my mother tongue. This fic is my first in this language. Then please forgive me my (many) faults which you will be able to meet. Puppy eyes.
I really need an english-speaking beta reader for this fic, please ! It's possible ? Puppy Eyes.
Note 2 : The song, by Phil Barney, is entitled "A child of you" (Un enfant de toi). It's a splendid song. I hope that you will be able also to appreciate it with his right value. For the one that does not know it, my address msn is in my profile and if you contact me, I will be happy to send it to you. n.n
Note 3 : Sesshômaru's thought
'Rin's speaking or Sesshômaru's memory of Rin's speaking'
« - Personnage's speaking »
Good reading. n.n
oOoOoOo
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
oOoOoOo
A child of you
- - -
C'était le mois de février (It was February)
Ton ventre était bien rond (Your belly was quite round)
C'est vrai qu'on l'attendait (It is true that we were awaited him)
On voulait l'appeler Jason (We wanted to call him Jason)
Sesshômaru's long silver hair fluttered in the air, maltreated by the winter north wind of February. The black clouds piling up in the sky let predict an impending arrival fall of snow. Rin will be surely happy, she loves snow.
With the simple thought of the young woman, Sesshômaru which not been able to retain the little smile which took shape on his lips. Smile very rare but which was always intended for the same person : Rin. His Rin. Who was in her ninth month of pregnancy.
As each time Sesshômaru saw the silhouette now rebounded of that which had become his wife these last years, he had the impression which his heart was going to explode of happiness. Never before he would have thought of feeling something of similar and also extremely. Especially for a ningen.
But Rin was an exception, the only one which was worthy to be made accept by him. And she awaited his child. Their child. Now the taïyoukaï understood the long and difficult waiting which was that of a future father. Even if, of course, he didn't show anything, always stoical and impassive.
Only Rin had succeeded in guessing it. But she knew everything about him. Sesshômaru didn't understand how, but the young ningen arrived at reading in him as in an opened book, even when he was persuaded to be impenetrable. Then, to make him have patience, Rin had asked him to help her to find a first name for their child, their son.
Because she was sure that he would be a boy. To his raising of interrogative eyebrow, she had answered while smiling which with the vigorous kicks which the baby gave, he could be only a boy. She had added with tenderness that he would be surely as strong as his dad. Sesshômaru, him, had hoped in this moment that he would have the smile and the softness of Rin.
After long deliberations, they had finally succeeded in agreeing on two first names. One male, the other female (one never knew). Hisoka and Sayuri.
Ce matin-là il faisait froid (This morning the weather was cold)
J'avais rendez-vous au studio (I had appointment with the studio)
Et tout en soufflant sur mes doigts (And all into blowing on my fingers)
Je disais le petit sera un verseau (I said the chibi will be an Aquarius)
The north wind of February blew again, icier than ever and Sesshômaru shivered. No of cold, of course. He, the powerfull taïyoukaï, was never cold ! No, it was other thing. Perhaps apprehension. Yes, it was surely because he had left Rin only while leaving this morning at dawn. Well only, she was all the same with AhUn and Jaken and he knew that both youkaï would put without hesitating their life in danger to protect them her and the baby.
But the fact remained that he had not liked to have to regulate an urgent business on his grounds whereas Rin arrived in due time. But some youkaï rebels, even stupid or suicidal (Sesshômaru thought of a combination of the three possibilities) had invaded his territory. He, the great Lord of the grounds of the West, couldn't let pass this affront without reacting. He went from there from his pride. That he had always had in . . . enormous proportions, it had well to be acknowledged.
And he had come. He had seen. He had fought. He had overcome. With final, they was some youkaï rebellious, stupid and suicidal : they had not even fled in front of him, the powerfull Sesshômaru ! Proof of their tares. But it was surely genetic with them . . .
However the taïyoukaï would have given much to be able to remain at the sides of Rin until she was awaked. It would have liked to hide his head with the hollow of her neck and to breathe her heady perfume where his own odour was mixed since many years. He would have liked to feel her to press herself against him, surrounding his neck of her arms, to feel her fingers to play with his long silver locks whereas he would slowly pass his hand in her hair rebel as black as one night without the moon. He would have liked to smell her hot lips against his and the 'I love you' which followed invariably, so soft murmur with his ear.
But here, the only kisses to which he had right was those of the nip of the wind on his face as that of the snow which had finally decided to fall. Sesshômaru retained a snort of contrariety. Even if Rin liked snow, he hated it. Like the rain. Because in these cases, humidity awoke all the scents of the ground and he entirely any more couldn't proud with his sense of smell. Then if it arrived what it is with the young woman, he couldn't the knowledge . . .
Given than ever to return, the taïyoukaï pressed the step, impatient to turn over to the sides of Rin. His ningen.
Avoir un seul enfant de toi (To have only one child of you)
Ça faisait longtemps que j'attendais (That made a long time that I waited)
Le voir grandir auprès de toi (To see growing near you)
C'est le cadeau dont je rêvais (It is the gift of which I dreamed)
Qu'il ait ton sourire ton regard (That he has your smile your glance)
Quand tu te lèves le matin (When you rise the morning)
Avec l'amour et tout l'espoir (With the love and all the hope)
Que j'ai quand tu me tiens la main (That I have when you hold me the hand)
Even in front of the intensity of his desire for finding the young woman, Sesshômaru not been able to prevent his thoughts from roving again and he began to wonder when his desire had begun for having a child with Rin.
With good to think that of it surely went back to last year when they had by hazard cross the taïjiya and the bonze whereas they walked both. Of course, Rin had hastened to go to their meet whereas himself had lag behind.
After the greetings and other complimentary closes usual, the taïjiya had raised the voice and two children being held by the hand were run, laughing. The bonze had then made the presentations : Kokoro, six years and Kotarô, four years. Their daughter and their son.
They had immediately adopted Rin, while a glance of his share had prevented them from approaching him too much. During few minutes, hidden behind their parents, their scrutinizing eyes had left him, measuring him with frightened pouts.
Then Rin had proposed to them to go to gather flowers for then braiding them in collars and crowns. And of the blow they had forgotten him. Completely. With the great relief of Sesshômaru which had been able to stop simulate having anything of it to make.
He had then started to contemplate Rin without reserve. Of course, they had been together for several years already and he knew everything about her, whatever the direction of the term. However, the smile which she had while playing with the descendants of the taïjiya and the bonze, it was the first time that he saw her similar. Never she had radiated happiness as much.
Of course, she was glad with him and liked him deeply. But Sesshômaru had understood at this moment that it missed something to her in order to fully be able to enjoy her happiness at his sides.
Yes, this decisive meeting had marked the decision of Sesshômaru to have a child with Rin. Like some squabbles between him and the young woman. Because if for him a child even two were already a large effort, she, wanted five or six ! To only imagine five or six Rin chattering as much as it in her childhood, the taïyoukaï had the migraine of it !
Et puis on m'a téléphoné (And then someone telephoned to me)
Et moi bien sûr j'ai tout quitté (And me of course I left all)
Les chœurs, les cuivres et la rythmique (Choruses, brass and the rhythmic one)
Je devenais papa c'était magique (I became dad it was magic)
« . . . »
Suddenly, Sesshômaru stiffened. Noise in the thickets drew his attention, and he curses the wet ground which masked the odour of importunate which dared to come to cross his way. If ever the latter were shown in front of him, which let predict the noise of his race, he would not have perhaps kindness to leave him in life . . .
« . . . aaaaaaaa ! »
Pricking up one's ears, Sesshômaru believed to distinguish a familiar sonority in the voice, remote, which had just produced this sound.
« . . . samaaaaaaaa ! »
Yes, no doubt, he knew this unpleasant voice. Since too a long time, he thought sometimes. Turning himself in direction of the noise, the taïyoukaï waited, being retained to strike foot to mark his impatience. It was well-known that the great Sesshômaru hated that one makes him wait.
« Sesshômaru-sam . . . »
The cry died in the throat of his owner, choked by the shock. The small green creature had not had time to avoid the obstacle which had been suddenly drawn up across her way and had run up against it full whip. Falling to knees, dazed by the shock, she spent a few seconds before finding her spirits.
« Son of . . . »
Raising the head, the creature stopped there in her invectives, whereas her eyes hung a detail which held her attention. The thing which she had run up against seemed her familiar curiously. Very familiar. Perhaps too . . . Especially that it resembled to a shoe . . . Shoe surmounted of an immaculate hakama . . .
« What are do you doing here, Jaken ? »
Raising the head higher, the small youkaï opened wide the eyes of surprise. Sesshômaru-sama ! But it was well quickly replaced by the fear of the imminent sanction which was going to come to correct him whereas he had run up against the foot of his lord and that he had almost failed to insult him.
« Gomen nasaï, Sesshômaru-sama ! I did not pay attention, all is entirely of my fault ! Please forgive me my incompetence, Se . . . »
The foot of Sesshômaru plating his head against the cold ground cut him once again in his tirade, choking his complaint. In any case he had deserved it well to have thus offended his master . . .
« Answer me, Jaken. »
Coughing to spit out again the snow interfered ground which he in spite of him had swallowed, Jaken was straightened up whereas Sesshômaru released him from the weight which crushed him on the ground. And, at one go, Jaken remembered the reason for which he had left, only, to find the taïyoukaï. Clutching his Nintôjô, the small youkaï couldn't prevent his voice from trembling, nor the words to leave in an uninterrupted and incomprehensible flood. He needed a new kick to appear to find the reason.
« Sesshômaru-sama, it's . . . it's Rin ! She was very well when you left, but a little later she started to be smelled badly and to have violent pains in her belly to shrivel up at ground ! Then AhUn started to panic, but not me Sesshômaru-sama, not your trusty servant and . . .
- Where is Rin ? Sesshômaru crossed him whereas his nails were inserted in his palm.
- I didn't want, but AhUn refused to listen to me ! You know how they are Sesshômaru-sama, always make some only with their heads ! There is their statement in vain that is not with them to make decisions and that they must just obey the orders that one gives them, but . . .
- Jaken, growled dangerously the taïyoukaï, say me where is Rin !
- Ha . . . haï, Sesshômaru-sama ! AhUn took along to Inu-Yasha's village to see the old woman, the senior. I intended besides to say that Inu-Yasha and his witch of ningen were . . . »
But Jaken realized well quickly which he didn't have any more as an interlocutor but snow and the wind. Sesshômaru was already far, silhouette reduced to a tiny hardly discernible point between the trees and the snowflakes which whirled before being failed to die.
« Await me, Sesshômaru-samaaaaaaaa ! »
But the inuyoukaï didn't hear him any more, concentrating on a maximum speed which would as quickly as possible enable him to be at the sides of Rin. His Rin which wouldn't be long to give birth to their child. And it was out of question that he isn't present at this event. He tightened it, at all costs !
Puis le taxi m'a déposé (Then the taxi deposited me)
Devant la porte de la clinique (In front of the door of the clinic)
Et comme un fou je suis monté (And as insane I'm climbed)
Garçon ou fille c'était critique (Boy or girl it was critical)
According to the combined odours of Rin and AhUn in spite of his decreased sense of smell, Sesshômaru arrived finally at the village of the Kaede old woman. He was blown more than he wouldn't have liked to appear it and snow maculated his hair like his clothing. Its hot breath contrasted with the coldness of the air, escaping in small volutes from smoke from its half-opened mouth.
Rin, where was she ? His sense of smell led him to the other end of the village, in direction of a small house in front of which a small group was piled up. Retaining a growl of contrariety, Sesshômaru took on him to continue to advance. After all, Rin was more important in his eyes than the opinion than these people would be done of him when they would realize his presence.
Only, at the end of some steps, he was taken of a violent one shiver. He didn't like the environment which perspired in the neighbourhoods. Nor the terribly serious heads which were those of those which were present : Inu-Yasha, his ningen, the kitsune, the taïjiya, the bonze, their children, the nekoyoukaï and AhUn. Rin and the old woman was not there, surely inside.
Why did they seem if opposed ? No, after a reliable thought, less than two second stopwatch, he didn't care a rap any badly. All that he wished, the object of all his attention or rather the person, was in the attic facing him. Rin . . . Taking again his projection, Sesshômaru wasn't focused any more but on she. He wanted to be so much at her sides . . .
Avoir un seul enfant de toi (To have only one child of you)
Ça faisait longtemps que j'attendais (That made a long time that I waited)
Le voir grandir auprès de toi (To see growing near you)
C'est le cadeau dont je rêvais (It is the gift of which I dreamed)
Qu'il ait ton sourire ton regard (That it has your smile your glance)
Quand tu te lèves le matin (When you rise the morning)
Avec l'amour et tout l'espoir (With the love and all the hope)
Que j'ai quand tu me tiens la main (That I have when you hold me the hand)
« Hmm ? »
Inu-Yasha's ears moved from right to left while he raised the nose for breathe in the air. To forget a few minutes the reason of his presence in the village would make him only the largest good. He and Kagome were resting with the foot of a tree when AhUn had emerged among the thicket, a Rin the hands contracted on her belly and holding as well as possible on their back.
« Rin ? Wouldn't you have grown bigger a little ?
- Inu-Yasha no baka ! Osuwari ! »
Oh and how he could have known that she was pregnant ? That didn't make far from a year that he had not had news of she and of his half-brother, which wasn't, in himself, a great loss for the last.
Immediately, Kagome had gone to be inquire after the health of Rin, seeing well that the latter wasn't in her normal state. With the sound of the voice of his partner (Kikyô being made kill by Naraku, itself dead of the hands (or rather of the sword) of Inu-Yasha), the hanyô had hastened to join her. She had then intimated to him the order to take Rin on his back and of going as fast as possible to see Kaede-baba.
The growls of AhUn didn't have any effect on the young woman who posed her hands on her hips. It was that or Rin and her child would suffer unnecessarily at the time of the way, and they didn't need any really. The ryûyoukaï hadn't been able to make differently than to accept, but that had not prevented him from sending a glance in charge of animosity to Inu-Yasha, which had of course returned it to him.
And they had left. Inu-Yasha bearing Rin and Kagome, which took care on the girl, AhUn the following of near. Arrived at the village, Kaede immediately had been prevented and had taken along Rin with she in her hut, refusing of a gesture the assistance that Kagome offered to her.
A little later Miroku, Sango, their children, Kirara and Shippô had arrived. They had been informed immediately. But if each one requested for the good course of the childbirth, Inu-Yasha, Shippô and Kirara knew that the situation was far from being perfect. It was even rather the reverse. Of the scraps that they perceived as well as few odours, Rin was badly. Very badly. She lost much blood, too much.
This is why to seek the reason of what had drawn his attention avoided him considering the gravity of the situation too much. What was going to become Rin ? And Sesshômaru ? Their relation was ignored of nobody, even if little approved it. But if such were the choice of Rin, they could nothing to carp at it. The girl was enough tall to know what she wished. And that had never been and would be never only Sesshômaru. What proved her moanings where she didn't cease claiming he.
Moreover this last did he knows that Rin was here ? It wasn't very probable if not, knowing it, he would be already there. But what could well have prevented he from remaining at the sides of Rin whereas she was so close to the term ?
Kirara's growls mingled with AhUn's growls made him leave his thoughts. Being turned over slowly, one needed for Inu-Yasha only one split second to locate the origin of it : Sesshômaru. The taïyoukaï advanced slowly under the snowflakes, impassive and calm. Much too.
« Kuso ! Where were you, Sesshômaru ?, he exploded. Rin doesn't stop claiming you !
- My acts look at only me, hanyô.
- Son of . . . You believe that it is the moment for your badly placed pride ? Rin needs you at her sides in this moment !
- And where you believe that I went ?, the taïyoukaï thundered. I wouldn't be to in no case come to make a visit of courtesy to a hanyô in your kind.
- It is not a little finished to you two ?, Kagome apostrophized them. Rin-chan fights of all her forces to put at the world her child and yours, Sesshômaru. Couldn't you forget a few minutes your rivalry with Inu-Yasha ? And the same applies to you, baka.
- You don't have to dictate my behaviour to me, woman.
- Yeah remains apart from that Kagome, answered Inu-Yasha, unsheathing Tessaïga. I from there will teach myself him the things from the life by the force, since there is only this way which he can understand something.
- It is curious, I would have rather thought that it was your case, Sesshômaru was ironical.
- I wouldn't like to knock the nail, but I think the same thing, increases Miroku.
- Mind your own business, hôshi no hentaï ! I from there will be regulated his account with this idiot who doesn't even understand the situation in which he is ! »
A shiver traversed the whole body of Sesshômaru at the end of the sentence of the hanyô. A flash of anger passed in his beautiful gilded eyes whereas he tried to drive out this unpleasant impression which started to invade it entire. To beat his imbecile of half-brother could only decrease his anxiety. Even if it was so well hidden that nobody would have realized some.
A light hissing of fabric indicated to his adversary that he started to unsheathed Tôkijin. Suddenly, Sesshômaru stopped his wave, as paralysed. Then he blinked eyes once, twice then closed them some second while sheathing. But when he reopened them, he should to be recognize that he didn't dream definitely.
Rin, his Rin, was right in front of him, without he feeling her to arrive. Her body was surrounded by a strange slightly bluish light. But in addition to this detail, something of other didn't go, without Sesshômaru being able to put the finger above. But the detail which imported to him more was the expression of the young woman : she smiled.
'You will never cease beating you, will you ?'
Her voice had taken to this accent slightly mocker whom she sometimes liked to use with him to tease it. But there was something of different this time, as if something made him echo.
'You always were like that, and I know that you will never change. But can imports I because it is as that I began to like you, that I love you and that I will always love you. As I know that you will love our son. You see I were right, it is well a boy. Like to him Sesshômaru, as you liked me. Like him with all yours might. And doesn't forget that me too I will always love you.'
« Rin . . . »
Sesshômaru didn't like this feeling, as if thousands of butterflies danced in his belly. Moreover his throat was oddly tight and only a net of voice had succeeded in passing his lips in an inaudible murmur. Almost a supplication.
His instinct ordered to him to tighten the hand and to tighten Rin against him. Very extremely. Because he needed some expressly in this precise moment where he felt that something escaped to him. Something which would change his life forever.
'Live each day as it comes, and to refuse the regrets as well as uncertainties for the future. I, in any event, don't have any capacity on yesterday nor over tomorrow.'
Rin's body was put to shine more and more slightly. Sesshômaru hadn't realized besides to which point the young woman appeared pale to him, almost translucent. Taking a step ahead, she gently posed her hand on the face of the taïyoukaï and her lips brushed Sesshômaru's own a short moment.
'The time which had been granted to me is apparently past. I wanted that you know that every year that I passed to your sides one be most beautiful of my life. Now, it is with you to take care of our son, Sesshômaru. Take care as me I would have done it.'
Sesshômaru saw with incredulity the body of the only woman whom he ever liked to dissolve not to more do but one with the snowflakes which danced in the winter north wind which blew while groaning, the such complaint of a phantom, a heart in sorrow.
« Rin . . . »
His voice was hardly more audible than the preceding time. Something didn't go, something which frightened him more than he didn't want to admit it, something which should not be !
'I love you, Sesshômaru.'
The voice of the young woman was increasingly weak, drowning by the moanings of the wind. And sudden, he understood . . .
'I love you both.'
Rin's fingers and lips hadn't left any heat on his skin, as if her contact had never existed. As if she had never existed, immaterial being resulting from his imagination. Her hair, in spite of the wind, hadn't moved of a millimetre during time that she had been held in front of him. The butterflies in his belly accelerated their dance and Sesshômaru understood finally what was this feeling : fear . . .
'Sayônara . . .'
« RIN ! »
This time, a true cry of distress spouts out of his throat whereas he precipitated in direction of the old woman Kaede's hut, hustling with the passage an Inu-Yasha which didn't understand anything to what had just occurred.
Suddenly, a movement drew the attention of Sesshômaru and stopped him in his race : Kaede had just left.
On m'a tendu un paquet de langes (One was tightened me a package of langes)
Dans lequel petit homme dormait (In which small man slept)
Puis on m'a dit d'une voix étrange (Then one said to me of a strange voice)
Que c'était tout ce qui me restait (That it was all that remained me)
Immediately, all the glances were turned in direction of the old woman. All could notice that she didn't have the empty arms. Her dark expression didn't pass either unperceived.
After having measured the people present of the glance, Kaede advanced in direction of Sesshômaru and, with an extreme softness, she tightened the small package of white linens to him.
« Here your son, all my congratulations. »
Taking the new-born baby with a certain apprehension, Sesshômaru ends up being accustomed to this very new contact for him. Anything else didn't count for him lasting a few seconds. He didn't even notice Kaede's negative shaking of head in direction of Kagome and Sango, nor that these two last precipitate in the hut.
« Can we know the name of this little angel ? »
Leaving his contemplation, Sesshômaru saw with displeasure that the bonze and Inu-Yasha contemplated his son over his shoulder. But even at a sizeable distance, they were still too much close to him, well too near. And it was never known, if perversity and silly were contagious . . .
« Hisoka. Rin liked much this first name.
- Liked ? »
Sesshômaru perceived the not disguised interrogation, almost shocked in the voice of the bonze. The taïyoukaï winced when he realized that he had employed the past without realizing it. Reconsidering Rin disaggregating in the air, he retained with sorrow a shiver. Then he turned to Kaede.
« How is Rin ? »
The fugacious expression that he saw crossing the old woman's eyes disappeared without he having time to understand the significance of it whereas she lowered the head.
« I'm sorry . . ., she started of a badly assured voice. I did all that I could, but . . . »
Choked sobs stopped her whereas Kagome and Sango left slowly the hut, a hand plated on their mouth and the shoulders shaken of tremors.
« I'm sorry . . . » can only repeat Kaede one second time.
Tout le monde était très gentil (Everyone was very nice)
Et moi je ne comprenais pas (And me I didn't understand)
Que dans son cœur y avait la vie (That in his heart the life had there)
Et que dans le tien il faisait froid (And that in yours the weather was cold)
Afflicted of what ? Sesshômaru wondered it well. As well as the reason of the strange attitude of the two women. Looking at the bonze and Inu-Yasha alternatively, he didn't like that he read in their glance : pains and compassion. But why ? For who ? And especially, that Inu-Yasha understands something before him was so rare that this couldn't be that the bad one forecasts.
The impression of thousands of butterflies fluttering in his belly started again, harder than ever. No, he hated this feeling definitively, and gradually more as it grew.
Then the salted odour of the tears reached him. An odour which he had learned how to know better than whoever at the time of the nights when Rin awoke after terrible nightmares.
« Much we will miss Rin-chan, sobbed Kagome.
- Yes, snuffled Sango. But at least, she will have been able to carry out her last dream before leaving.
- What one shouldn't forget, it is that each one remains immortal in the heart of somebody. And Rin-chan left on this ground a memory which will persist her memory as a long time as he will live, and even more.
- I . . ., Inu-Yasha started, visibly unwell. If I can do anything . . . »
Yes, the attitude of his half-brother was really sign that something didn't go. Suddenly, the blood of Sesshômaru was frozen in his veins and his heart missed a beat. Quickly entrusting his son to Inu-Yasha (so much the worse for the contamination's risk), which failed to drop him under the blow from the surprise, the taïyoukaï sank quickly inside Kaede's hut.
There, the odour immediately took him with the throat, more stinking and nauseous that it hadn't reached him of outside. An odour which he had spread so many times without any remorse. An odour of which he had saved two people. An odour which, in this precise moment removed all his forces to him whereas he fell slowly to knees beside Rin's body. The death's odour, fray to that, metal, of blood.
No, his sense of smell was to play to him of the turns. It was impossible ! That couldn't be true ! No, that couldn't !
« Rin ? »
Sesshômaru slowly advanced the hand in direction of the face of the young woman, as hesitating to brush this glossed skin which he had so many times caressed. But when his fingers brushed Rin's cheek, he withdrew them highly, as if this short contact had burned him.
An unverifiable tremor seized his hand and the taïyoukaï should to force himself to renew the experiment. He was surprised to request so that his feeling was erroneous. But when their two skins were passed very close to again, he knew that he had unfortunately not been mistaken.
« Rin ? »
Under his fingers, Rin's cheek was cold, deserted of any heat. Continuing his exploration, Sesshômaru realized that it was the same for her face, her eyelids, her nose, her lips . . . even her hands were it. Much more than they shouldn't have been it.
He had well to go obviously : more no heat lived in the young woman's body. And more no heat meant that only one thing . . .
« RIN ! »
Once again, a cry of distress escaped from his throat, but this time like a rail of wounded animal. The taïyoukaï leaps on his feet and unsheathed Tenseiga. Only, nothing occurred. Sesshômaru didn't enter in communication with his sword, and this last didn't pulsate in hid hand, offering any vision to him of the small creatures which brought death while coming to seek the heart of the victims. Nothing. He didn't see absolutely anything.
Then, Sesshômaru lost any control of his emotions and his body. He got round-shouldered and began to tremble whereas he started to give blows of sword blindly, as if he could thus kill the messengers carrying deaths.
But it was useless, he knew it. A person resuscitated by Tenseiga couldn't be it twice. The life was something of single and which didn't forgive the errors, not offering a second chance once it finished. But him, Sesshômaru, had this capacity which had been offered to him. He had the capacity to give again the life. But only once, transgressing rules and laws established by Nature since unmemorable times. He could offer only one additional chance. Not two. Only one. Only one . . .
« Rin . . . »
Releasing Tenseiga which lands on the ground with a metal noise, Sesshômaru was dropped once again at Rin. Of a filled up gesture of softness, he pushed back a forelock which barred her face, still stuck by sweat should to the effort of the childbirth. Then, slowly, as if he were afraid to break her if he touched her too extremely, Sesshômaru raised of the young woman's head and delicately posed it on his knees.
The last time that they had been found in this position, they was when Rin had made a strong rise of temperature, two years before. After having drunk an infusion of plants to make fall her temperature, she had required of him to remain a little with she. And he had accepted, posing her head on his knees and slowly passing his hand in her hair. Rin had fallen asleep, a smile with the lips, shortly later.
The curtain which masked the entry of the door of Kaede's hut fell down slowly and in silence. Inu-Yasha moved back of some steps and was turned over to face the others.
« Sesshômaru was calmed, started it. I have the impression that he finally understood that even for him, there are things which are impossible.
- I sincerely pity him, sympathizes Kagome while slowly rocking the small Hisoka, which she had saved of an unquestionable death of the awkward arms of the hanyô. Rin-chan was the only one which succeeded in breaking the icy carapace that Sesshômaru had been forged. She was his fastener in this world and surely the only person who has to him so much is little made appreciate the life with her right value. Why she ? Why now ? Why whereas she could finally have had this child ?
- Kagome-sama, tried to calm her Miroku, death is unforeseeable and life fugacious. I think that Rin-chan doesn't regret anything where she is. She knew that with all good thing, there is inevitably an end.
- And then she leaves behind her the heir to their love, increases Sango. Sesshômaru will be alone never again. »
What she didn't know, it was that never Sesshômaru known worse loneliness and worse pain only those which were his in this moment. A tear escaped from the corner of his right eye, rolled slowly on his cheek then went to be crushed on the Rin's eyelid. Nobody saw it. Sesshômaru himself didn't realize there. Not more than a light trace which it had left while running along the eye of the young woman . . . Because deaths can't cry, can't they ?
You learned to me how to love, whereas I knew only hatred. You learned to me how to give, whereas I could only take. You learned to me how to live, whereas I thought only of death. How could I thank you ? I have only my heart to offer to you. And if it always beats, it's only because you made that my life is worth to be lived. But how must I make, now that you are not more there, Rin ?
Ça fait dix ans que t'as fait le vide (That made ten years that made you the gap)
Ça fait dix ans que tu n'es pas là (That made ten years that you are not there)
C'est le petit homme qui compte mes rides (It is the small man who counts my wrinkles)
Il dit qu'il t'aime à travers moi (He says that he loves you through me)
Ten years . . . That made now ten years that Rin was died, like the such luminous flame, but nevertheless ephemeral and fragile, of a candle left in prey at the least breath of wind, relentless murderer.
Since her burial under a cherry tree which had always remained in flowers during these ten years, Sesshômaru had only seldom crossed the way of Inu-Yasha and his group. He didn't support to see them. Because their only presence pointed out too much to him what had occurred ten years before. This pain that he believed to have exceeded, which he believed to have forgotten, re-appeared more violent than ever, seeming to crush his heart of an iron hand. And the gap re-appeared, increasingly larger, increasingly more painful.
As of each time he thought of Rin. There's nothing he could do about it. He knew that he would suffer by re-sifting all these memories, but he couldn't be prevented some. He knew that it was absurd, but he was afraid to forget. To forget her face, her smile, the merry brightness of her eyes, the softness of her skin, of her lips, of her caresses, the tone enamoured of her voice, heat and sincerity that there was in each one of her « I love you. » . . .
Oblivion . . . Nothing had never frightened the taïyoukaï, but this simple word caused, with him, crises from anguish which resulted an inevitable return in his memories. Memories which made go up all his hidden pain. Never he would have believed that to suffer would be so painful, especially for him.
But in each misfortune, one finds some notes of happiness, as the key flowered and spring in the middle of the fields with the scents of manure. And this happiness resided in only one person : Hisoka, his son. Their son. A hanyô. The only thing that Rin had left him, apart from his memories.
And the small man had quickly grown, keeping despite everything an appearance still very youthful for his ten years thanks to the youkaï's blood which ran in his veins. He still had time before having an appearance similar to that of Sesshômaru, between the teenager and the adult who made difficult to give him a precise age. But in any event, which could suspect that he had several hundred years, and even more, behind him with his face free from any wrinkle ? Thing which he would probably never have in any event.
If Hisoka had never known his mother, he had often raised questions to Sesshômaru more about her : what she liked, what she hated, the tone of her voice, the brightness and the colour of her eyes, the form of her face, how they had met, when they had fallen in love . . . All, absolutely all.
He had often had answers which he was to drag from force. And with time, he had understood. Understood that his father was enormously attached to his mother and that his memory was always painful since he made him feel the immense gap that she had left in his life. And Hisoka endeavoured to fill it of all his forces. In spite of his youth, he had understood that his father needed him, his support and his love. Because he was all that it remained to Sesshômaru of the ningen which he had so tenderly and so passionately liked.
And the rare times when he had seen the taïyoukaï to flinch, so rare that he could count them on the fingers of only one hand, he was there for him, ensuring him that yes, his mother had missed to him, but that nevertheless he was happy of living with him and that he liked him of all his heart. That he also loved his mother, through all the memories that he had communicated to him. Because even if she were not physically with them, she would always live in their heart without never disappearing from it. Because they really liked her, of a true and imperishable love.
Personne depuis n'a pris ta place (Nobody since took your place)
L'enfant est là et je l'aime pour deux (The child is there and I like him for two)
Ton image est bien trop vivace (Your image is well too long-lived)
Et c'est bien celle que j'aime le mieux (And it is well that which I like best)
Since the death of Rin in confinement, never Sesshômaru had loved another woman, whether she is youkaï, hanyô or even ningen. He had even almost never posed the glance on a person of the opposite sex which is not on his knowledge. And even in these cases, the image of Rin re-appeared, being superimposed over that of the woman opposite him. Long-lived and painful image. But however so soft with her smile . . .
It had already sometimes happened to him to awake the night and to call Rin, worrying about her absence at his sides. It was only once the fogs of the night had been dissipated of his brain which he remembered painful reality. Rin . . . would never return. She wasn't there any more. She had left far from him without he being able to do anything for her. She had left him only. Only with his son. Their son.
Sesshômaru had initially wanted hated him to have taken Rin's life, but he hadn't reached that point. Because he knew that she would never have wished it, where that she be from now on. Because this child carried Rin's genes, which have given birth to him of her own free will, wishing of all her heart that they like him and nurse him. That he will be happy. With them two. With him, when she wouldn't be there anymore.
And, as a good father and a consort honouring the last wish of that which he liked, Sesshômaru had always taken care of his son. Of their son. Because he was to him what remained more invaluable in the world, only sun of his grey days.
When he had, the rare times where he had gone in territory populated with his son, heard the mockeries on the nature of hanyô of Hisoka, he were personally occupied to reduce to silence the suicidal ones which had dared to criticize him in front of him.
Once, only once, he had lost control. It was the day of the eighth birthday of died of Rin. The eight years day of Hisoka. One day when snow fell slowly while whirling, sometimes shake about the winter north wind. As the day when Rin had been gone from there only in this place of which he had already torn off her once.
This day, he had meeted Yuri, a youkaï with which he had, approximately two hundred years ago, an adventure of one night and which had terribly be vexed when he left. Because, as she had said to him, she always ended in obtaining what she wanted.
And he had returned to the charge, asking him to return near she, where was his true place. Sesshômaru, knelt in front of Rin's tomb, had deposited there a chain of flowers braided by Hisoka. The chibi one had gone to seek of other flowers to make a second chain, leaving his father alone a few minutes. When he had returned, the taïyoukaï had been raised and Yuri had advanced so that she tightened the hand slightly, she could brush his long silver hair where some snowflakes melted.
At the entry of the young hanyô, Yuri had screw up the eyes and wrinkled the nose of dislike by asking what this impure race did here and which was the traitor who had dared to fornicate, such was her expression, with a despicable ningen. Then she had added that all the ningen and the hanyô should be massacred one by one, while starting with this one which wouldn't soil any more the name of youkaï.
But she hadn't had time to take a step that Sesshômaru had seizes her at the throat. Yuri had time only to push a small moaning choked filled up of surprised before retaining yelping of fear. Sesshômaru's eyes had turned colour to the red and the marks on his knobs had doubled, without forgetting his hand which started to make scorch the youkaï's skin under her.
And he had struck her, still and still, getting it off his chest, all the anger and the frustration which lived in him on somebody. It was thanks to the intervention of an Hisoka in tears and completely panicked drawing on his father's hakama that Yuri had the safe life. She left not in only one piece, but she was alive. In blood, but alive.
And, always drawn by his son, Sesshômaru hadn't stumbled whereas Hisoka pushed him in front of his small hands. It was when they arrived at the limit of the cover of the wood that he had said to Yuri that never his dad would love another woman only his mom and that never somebody of bad as she couldn't replace her. And then he was sure that his mom was more beautiful, nicer and stronger than she would be it never.
It was the last time where Sesshômaru meeted Yuri and the one and only time where he lost his coolness in front of his son because of his love for the only woman of his life : Rin.
Avoir un seul enfant de toi (To have only one child of you)
Ça faisait longtemps que j'attendais (That made a long time that I waited)
Le voir grandir auprès de toi (To see growing near you)
C'est le cadeau dont je rêvais (It is the gift of which I dreamed)
Qu'il ait ton sourire ton regard (That he has your smile your glance)
Quand tu te levais le matin (When you rose the morning)
Avec l'amour et tout l'espoir (With the love and all the hope)
Que j'avais quand tu me tenais la main (That I had when you held me the hand)
While growing, Hisoka had become a perfect mixing of his parents. He had inherited his father's long silver hair as well as his beautiful gilded eyes. Without forgetting the crescent of the moon violet on his face and the stripes under his eyes and on his wrists. But he had indisputably his mother's smile and her sparkling eyes. His beauty wasn't cold like that of Sesshômaru, but soft and cordial like that of Rin. And just like she, he was of talkative and merry nature, no matter what it arrives. He was well their son, it didn't have no doubt there. Their son. The last thing that they had in common. Their more invaluable treasure and the ultimate memory of their common life, of their passion, of their love.
His love, his memory and Hisoka were the three things that Rin had left in this world before leaving him definitively. How many time Sesshômaru had he regretted the absence of the young woman in the life and the education of their child ? Of course, he could only manage and to overcome all the difficulties, as he had always done, but he always cruelly missed Rin in all these moments. It was common with him to wonder how she would have made, how she would have reacts in front of such or such situation. In general, the answer came from itself. Rin would have succeeded where he always failed : she would have simply smile.
'The wind and the sea don't have an age. The sun and the sky are eternal. Just like you, Sesshômaru.'
A 'discussion' that they have had following her fever, twelve years before, returned to Sesshômaru's spirit. It was at this time there that Rin had made the first allusion to her death, seeming to realize that she couldn't remain eternally at the sides of the taïyoukaï which hadn't changed since she had met him the first time. Whereas she, she had grown, she had blossom out, she had worked out and started to grow old. Without him, who remained and would remain eternally the same one.
'When I will die, the wind will always blow and the stars will continue to scintillate, because the place that I occupy on this ground is as transitory as the delicate and fragile life of a flower. Then, when I wouldn't be there any more, you . . .'
There he had interrupt her, a finger on her lips, murmuring to she that she was still young and that she would be still at his sides lasting of many years. But she had died two years later, too much early . . .
Rin, I never knew to say it explicitly, but you were to me, are to me and will be always invaluable for me. You were what I had moreover important in the world and the one and only one that counted in my eyes. But you knew it, didn't you?
oOoOoOo
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
oOoOoOo
Then, verdict ? There are many faults ? Yes, ne ? (I know I know . . .) n.n'
Be indulgent, please ! (I know, I repeat myself . . . n.n')
Hum . . .
I torture my Sesshy, it's horrible ! And in more I put it with another woman that me . . . Would be I a sadist ? No no no ! Of course that no ! And the first that says to me "yes", I deal personally with his case ! è.é
Finally I hope that you had left your handkerchiefs (or not for those which that left of marble) and that you liked.
If it's the case or not, review ?
Oh and if one or one of you would smell courage it (you be not obliged !) if it were possible to forward me a corrected version of my fic . . . that would be really sympathetic to help me to progress in English.
I realy need an english-speaking beta reader for this fic, please ! It's possible ? Puppy Eyes.
I would like correct my many faults . . .
And then as that I could put the corrected version that will be more pleasant to read for all the English.
Kisu. n.n
Sesshy-girl (aka Sesshy's wife)