Been a while since I uploaded something, and this has been playing on my mind for a while now.. I will get the next chapter for it uploaded as soon as I can, as of yet I am still working out how I want this to go, but I hope you enjoy it! (:

Disclaimer: I do not own any character involved. I just writing with them! ^^

Warning: Self Harm..

Do not read if you are prone to triggers, do not read if it is not your cup of tea.. but please read if you are up for a good story! Which I hope it ends out being. Enjoy! (:

It was nearing midnight, this day was almost over and to be replaced by a new one, with new events, new changes, and once again the same ending, it was more like a constant cycle which would continue..

Although one major difference on this night, it was much darker, the sky was filled with thick black clouds, rain poured from the heavens, and thunder and lightning filled the silence and lit up the darkness..

Naruto was sat upright in his bed, his blue orbs towards the skies, watching, listening.. it was calming, tranquil, and nothing to be afraid of, he might have been when he was much younger, especially when there was no one around to comfort him, but now he was 12 years old and thunder and lightning was nothing near as scary as it used to be, it was now something he could spend time with..

It gave him more relaxation so that the taste he was carrying out made him feel euphoric..

Within his grasp a small kunai, one he had taken from a class, it was wrong yes, but there would have been no other way for him to gain access to one, he knew there were other objects he could have opted for, but this, nothing beat a kunai.. the sleek blade.. and especially how sharp it was, it kept that way too.. so the feeling that rushed through him when the blade sliced slowly through his forearm would always feel incredible..

Naruto was now at the point where cutting was more of a habit than anything.. there was still the thoughts of pushing deeper and cutting horizontally, but that was only when his day had been the worst..

It had all started a year ago.. the cutting anyway, before that he would snap rubber bands and crush his fingers under his chest of drawers to calm himself, and then it led to sharper objects, it made him feel better, from years of isolation, from years of feeling left out and feeling like he was a monster, he never understood it, even more so when he was younger and the word 'Monster' would be uttered under peoples breaths..

None of it was fair, it was too much inside him, and the only way he could feel better, for him to carry on normally with another day was this..

Each night he would sit himself in the same place on his bed, silent, kunai blade washed and ready, and a white rag resting next to it, by the end of his 'Session' the white rag would be crimson red, depending on how much had been on his mind.

Today had taken him back a little, he might have been older and stronger in form, but in mind he was still the same, and once again outside the academy a collection of students had cursed him with their words, calling him names from monster to freak.. telling him he would be better off out of the Village, or even Dead.. They were not even students he knew, he had seen them around the academy itself, but to have spoken to any, no.. he was picked from the crowd because it had always been him..

The blade dragged slow through his skin, the first were always the hardest, but they were the ones that gave the greatest effect, after that it got easier and less pleasurable, less helpful.. but this time, with each cut, it caused a greater effect than the last, his mind could ease, and he could feel better, enough so that he could finally get rest for the night..

His mind began to drift off slightly, the cutting became more automatic, continuing as his mind slipped away, the names running through his head, each one causes anger.. was he too weak to say anything back, but then if he did would it just make him feel worse, would they become more abusive, not just using just words, he might be on the route to becoming a ninja, but he wanted to know that every other ninja, or student were not wishing him dead.

The feeling of torn skin pulled his mind back to the task at hand, a frown pulled at the blonde's face, pulling the blood stained kunai away from him he glanced towards his arm, a large open wound lay horizontally on his upper arm, it was a few seconds before blood started to seep from it, rushing down his arm and to the tips of his fingers..

"Oops"

Was all he muttered, grabbing the white rag he pressed it against his arm, applying pressure to it, the rag already turning red.. jumping from the bed he rushed across his room and to the drawers, his free hand tugged against it, pulling it open.. His eyes glanced over everything before he found what he was looking for, a roll of bandage and two large cotton balls.. it was the way he could think of stopping it.. he kicked the drawer with his foot and jumped back onto his bed, dropping the bandage and cotton next to him.

Pulling the rag away he eyed the wound, inspecting it carefully, it was not too deep, not as deep as what he had done before..

Minutes ticked by and the cotton had been applied, along with the bandage.. grabbing the stained rag and kunai he dropped them into the drawer next to his bed, he would get to cleaning them tomorrow, for now he needed to get some rest.. slipping himself under his covers he placed his head against the pillow, leaning away from his arm as much as he could.. his eyes slipped to a shut straight away..

He felt nothing to worry about, the smaller wounds he gave himself healed pretty quickly, and left a very faint scar, hardly noticeable.. the deeper one's healed quick too, not as quick as the smaller ones but still, it gave him time to hide them, keep his 'secret' to himself, it was a private moment for him, a moment where he was able to escape, where he could get release from the endless emotion..

The next morning the sun was shining brightly through Naruto's window, birds sang, and the odd person of the morning spoke up in the streets below, the blonde stirred, a yawn slipped through his lips and he turned over, his eyes widening as realization struck him..

"I'm going to be late.."

Shock filled him and he shot from his bed to the pile of yesterdays clothing that had been left on the floor of his bedroom, tugging his nightwear off he replaced it all with his day wear.

Crimson flashed before his eyes, the bandage was smothered in it, before he tugged his top on he pulled at the dressing, pulling it off, dropping it to the floor he inspected the wound, the bleeding seemed to have stopped.. That was enough, he pulled his top on and grabbed his jacket as he rushed for the door.. stopping with his hand on the handle he rushed to the bathroom..

"Ah come on, open.. open."

He called out towards the toothpaste, a large amount fell upon the toothbrush, he rammed it into his mouth and did a quick once over before spitting the rest out, dropping the toothbrush into the sink he wiped his face, and this time ran for the door..

"Morning everyone."

Iruka called out, sliding the door shut behind him as he walked in, heading straight for the board he turned and eyed the room.

"Good Morning Sensei."

The room of students returned to him, a normal typical day of school, without the need to even call out names Iruka paused on an empty spot, a frown formed and he scanned the room once more..

"Where's Naruto?"

Just as the question had been asked the door opened with a clatter, the blonde within the doorway stood with his hands resting against his knees, trying his hardest to catch his breath, a soft laugh came from him after seconds of silence..

"Iruka Sensei.. I.. I'm sorry I'm late, I'm here now, ready to learn.."

The enthusiastic voice filled the room, Iruka's brow rose and he watched as the boy slowly turned to close the door behind him..

"Do I dare ask if you brought the assignment I requested yesterday Naruto?"

Naruto froze, caught a little by surprise at the question handed to him, his posture dropped and he sighed, turning to face Iruka he rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous laugh left his lips, at which point he shook his head..

"I uh.. about that.. I got distracted.. okay I fell asleep, but please, give me another chance with it.."

The brunette pinched the bridge of his nose in disappointment, shaking his head he fell silent, Naruto shuffled on the spot awkwardly, he could feel the stare of each student in the room, there was no way he could confront them by looking away from the comfort of the ground.

"Naruto, you know how important that was, I told you yesterday about what will be happening next week, and for you to not do it.. Just sit down.. I will talk to you after, we need to get on with today's lesson.."

Iruka replied, surprisingly calm, to which each student noticed, Naruto looked up from the floor and towards his sensei, he didn't reply, he just walked to his spot, silence eerily lingering..

"Okay, now everyone send your assignments to the ends of your desks, I'll collect them shortly, for today I want you all to prepare for your demonstrations.. you have ten minutes."

Naruto seated himself down next to Sakura, who had just turned away from him, her attention back towards Sasuke, who was more than happy to stare out the window rather than speak to Sakura..

'Was he crazy? If that attention was towards me, I would be enjoying every second of staring into Sakura's eyes, oh those beautiful eyes, and that incredible forehead, so smooth, so perfect..'

"Hey, Naruto, you're bleeding."

A flush of red filled Naruto's face as the voice filled his ears and pulled him away from his thought track, turning to glanced towards his arm, he flushed deeper, it was seeping through.. and thanks to Shikamaru's observation, every student's eyes were towards him.

"Ohh yeah, how did that happen? I must have knocked myself on a tree on my way here, I was going that quick I would not have noticed.."

Naruto quickly said, a nervous laugh was beginning to be his main drive of the day.. placing his hand over the blood stained jacket, he could feel how warm, and wet it was.. This was just great..

"Iruka Sensei, can I use the bathroom?"

Naruto called out, Iruka had already picked up on the sudden change in the room, his eyes immediately found Naruto, and the surrounding students who were staring at him, whispering..

And the most obvious, the flush of red on Naruto's face..

"What for Naruto? you just got here."

"I need to clean myself up, I seem to have.. well, caught myself.."

Naruto said with a grin..

Iruka moved towards the steps, and closing in on Naruto.

"Well, if you hurt yourself, I can take a look at it.."

Iruka said reaching for Naruto's arm, his eyes noticing the amount of blood that had collected on the orange jacket.. it must have been serious..

"How did you do that?"

Before Iruka could take his arm, Naruto had stood up, snatching his arm away from him, grinning nervously towards his sensei he slipped around and passed him, Iruka followed him with his eyes a frown tugging at him..

"Naruto, that looks serious, let me take a look at it.."

Naruto stepped back and shook his head..

"It's alright Iruka Sensei, it's just a little scratch, I'm sure it's nothing, I'll just go and run it under cold water, I'll be quick.."

Naruto told him as he slipped through the door.

'That was too close.. and it was my fault for not wrapping it, if only I'd wrapped it, I should have been late, I'd have preferred that to this.'

Naruto thought as he pushed open the bathroom door, shutting it behind him he made his way for the sink, tugging his jacket free he lifted his sleeve up his arm, the wound oozing when it came into view..

"Ah great, now what am I supposed to do.."

It took ten minutes, of splashing water, using toilet paper and more water to soak it, the bleeding once again stopped, the only thing now was the blood stain on his jacket, pulling it towards him he sighed in annoyance, his head drooping slightly, he grabbed as much toilet paper as he could and scrubbed the stain, it was only working to a certain point, the rest of it was soaked in it, and to top it off, the rest of his sleeve had been dipped into the sink, it was soaking wet..

"Ah man, nothing is going right.. just give me a break.."

Pulling the jacket on he looked it over, it didn't look too bad, everyone knew there was a stain on it, and it just looks wet because he was trying to remove it, so at least that part would be out of the awkward zone..

"That will have to do, yup.. much better."

Stepping for the door he tugged it hard, Iruka was stood on the opposite wall, Naruto's heart felt as though it was in his mouth, grabbing his chest he laughed, and shook his head..

"Iruka Sensei.. you scared me.. was that for what I did last week? I did say I was sorry, and come on it was a joke, well.. I know you told me I need to pass that day, but still.."

"Naruto stop.. Just shut up for one second and let me look at your arm.."

Freezing up once again Naruto's face dropped.. he swallowed hard and remained still.. silent.

"Naruto.."

Iruka stepped away from the wall and towards the boy, he could tell, just by looking at him that there was something more to this, it was plain and clear right across the boys face, aside from his deep blush, he was watching the ground, and he was quieter than normal, even that in itself cried louder than words..

"Naruto let me look at your arm.."

Naruto jumped slightly and looked up towards his sensei, his head shook and he smiled..

"It's okay really, it was what I thought it was, a tree, I found some wood, but I cleaned it out perfectly.. Believe it!"

Before Naruto could do anything, Iruka had grabbed his arm, and tugged his jacket off his arm, Naruto's eyes widened, and his heart stopped, he felt the blood drain straight to his feet, if only he could die on the spot, save the humiliation..

Iruka's eyes widened at the sight before him, small, faint scars.. but then more, fresh cuts, all interconnecting with another, and blood, lot's of watered down blood, and a gash, a very deep one..

"Naruto.. what have you done?"

The question annoyed him deeply, snatching his arm away from his sensei he quickly yanked his jacket back onto him..

"What did you do that for? It's just a scratch.. nothing more nothing less, what has it got to do with you? It's not like you care, it's not like anyone cares around here, no one in this Village looks twice at me, even if they do, it's to throw something at me, words.. or more.."

He could not help the sudden outburst, and he certainly could not help the tears that prickled at the corners of his eyes..

Iruka just stared back horrified, the words.. had he really been that oblivious to how much really went on, it was too hard to tell, Naruto was always smiling, always laughing, always pulling some kind of prank.. but those words, they struck him deep in the chest..

"Naru.."

"Don't.. I know you don't care what I do, I know you don't care about anything I say.. so what is the point in you trying to say something to try and fix whatever it is.. there is no point Sensei.."

This side of Naruto scared him, he had never seen this side of him, but he could tell, deeply and truly tell that he was suffering, especially with what he was coming out with..

"Just tell me you didn't.."

"Fine.. I didn't.. See I've told you now let me just get back to class and get back to normal, like it has been."

"You did, didn't you? Naruto, was this self inflicted?"

Naruto looked away, embarrassment filling him.. and Iruka spotted it straight away, it was the silence doing the talking once again..

"What was you thinking? Do you even understand what you have done? Do you even know how dangerous that is? Naruto, I never considered you stupid, but this is beyond that.."

"I just don't care.. I can't care for something that helps me more than anything.."

Iruka fell quiet, Naruto's words were stinging him, he really did not care? Was it all that bad for him, he could see the tears trickling down the boys face, he looked like he was in more pain than he had ever seen him.

Iruka dropped his head.. it was a little hard to absorb it as quickly as it should have been expected but what else was he supposed to do.

"Will you at least let me clean it? Wrap it properly?"

Naruto wiped his face across his sleeve, sniffling a few times before he nodded his head, Iruka was the first to actually offer him help, even with it being at this point, and even it being the most secretive subject he had.