If you're reading this, then yays and thanks! Here goes my sad attempt at humor! Kinda crack-ish, maybe?
Disclaimer: I do not own Nerf or Death Note, sadly.
Beta-ed by the fabulous xElementFivex! Go read her stories! They're amazing!
"Okay, I'm ready," the ten-year-old boy whispered to himself. He was hidden in the shadows with only his reflective orange goggles visible. From far away, the sight seemed peculiar. 'A little red-haired boy wearing orange goggles, a striped t-shirt, and jeans?' people would think, 'How quaint.'
But alas, the boy, Matt, did not care about what people thought of him. Well, everyone except Mello, Near, sometimes L, and sometimes BB. Matt hadn't even met L, so he didn't know what to think of the detective. And Matt only cared what BB thought of him because he was certain that the jam-loving teenager wanted to kill somebody. Near and Mello were his kinda-sorta friends, so that explains itself.
Anyway, back to Matt. The goggled boy ran as fast as his stubby, childish legs could carry him to the dining hall, a Nerf gun in his hands. He looked around for his blonde companion, but saw nothing that could even resemble the great Mello. He uttered a curse word and tore off towards for the common room.
Once there, he peeked around the corner, feeling like a ninja. He saw the blonde pre-teen sitting beside the windowsill, a textbook in one arm and a chocolate bar in the other. Typical Mello. Matt stifled a giggle, clenched his slender fingers around the Nerf toy, and took a few deep breaths. He knew that he had six of the Styrofoam darts loaded in the plastic gun, and he knew that he would –most likely– regret this. He mentally calculated his pal's reaction time. He had about seventeen to twenty-five seconds to fire as much as he could at the (hopefully) stunned blonde.
For the first time that day, Matt doubted his idea. Sure, the look on Mello's face may be the best thing he'd ever see, but there was a high probability that he'd end up in the infirmary. In the end, Matt decided that it would be more entertaining to pelt him with the foam bullets than remain in the suffocation that was boredom.
With a look reminiscent of a Cheshire cat, Matt rounded the corner in an absolute frenzy.
Bang! The first shot grazed the blonde's crown of golden hair. Mello looked up in complete shock, gaping like a fish out of water.
Bang, Bang, Bang! The next three hit Mello in the rib, the forearm, and the collarbone. Mello flinched and tried to dodge the assault, but failed epically.
Bang, Bang! The fifth shot missed, but the last shot hit Mello square in the forehead. Matt barely contained his laughter as Mello regained his senses from the surprise attack, stood up (with the foam projectile still suctioned to his face), and glared the iciest stare Matt had ever been on the receiving end of, even to this very day.
It was only when Mello took a step towards him that Matt began to fear his life. The gamer turned and ran directly out of the room, down the hall, and past the dining hall.
Even then, he could still hear the angry roar that his victim let out upon the world; "Matt! When I find you, I'm gonna stick that toy so far up your ass you'll never be able to walk straight again!"
His eyes widened, and Matt ran even faster than before, if that's possible. 'Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!' Matt thought, still running, 'I'm gonna die, gonna die, gonna die!'
Matt sprinted up two flights of stairs, his breath becoming shorter with every step. He rounded a corner, practically flying down the corridor that lead to his room. The terrified ten-year-old launched his body into his room and then shut the door with force.
Matt backed up to the wall opposing the door, and crouched down to regain his breath. Taking deep, controlled breaths, Matt examined the aftermath of his barrage. Mello would eventually get his revenge. Matt only hoped the girly boy would take mercy upon him, if he repented enough. Matt also hoped that his incident wouldn't get him in trouble, but this worry was put on the back-burner of Matt's mind. What took the center stage of Matt's mind at the moment was much more important. What could be more important than avoiding being beaten unrecognizable, you ask? Well, to put it simply, Matt had asthma. Asthma tends to flare up after a sprint for one's life.
Anyway, Matt fumbled with his pocket, trying to pry the little 'L' shaped inhaler from within his clothes. He wheezed and coughed in a heavy and irregular manner as he brought the inhaler close to his mouth, pressing down on the top of the plastic-covered medicine and breathing deeply in one swift motion. The tightness in his chest relaxed as his airways unclenched and opened up, allowing oxygen to flood the youth's lungs.
Matt silently thanked any deity he could think of for the asthma attack to have only been a mild one. Otherwise, he would've had to leave his safe haven in search of a nurse. This would've lead to Mello being angry at Matt for shooting the blonde with darts and for being reckless with his life. And that, quite frankly, would be painful for Matt. But Matt was lucky, so none of that would happen. Right?
Mello was angry. No, he was beyond angry; he was infuriated. At Matt. Mello had rarely in his short eleven years of life been even remotely angry at the red-headed gamer. Well, he occasionally threw a temper tantrum directed towards Matt, but Mello was never actually angry at him. He just tended to take his anger out on his friend. Usually, he was irritated with the little albino genius, the only person at Whammy's with better scores on tests than him. Near. Even thinking of the white-haired creep made him want to go punch something. But Mello was angry at Matt.
As Matt ran away from the ambush, he dropped the Nerf toy. 'Dumbass,' Mello thought. Mello picked up the six foam darts before he collected the offending gun. Reloading the darts, he tried to predict where the goggled boy would cower. He first guessed the kitchen's enormous pantry, but quickly denounced that idea. The chefs would be starting dinner soon, and Matt would be removed from the large storage area. 'Maybe his room?' Mello pondered, but had doubts about that location also. 'Matt wouldn't be that obvious, right? He's not that stupid.' Even so, Mello decided to investigate there first.
When Matt heard the thunderous steps Mello made running towards the unlocked door, he knew he was caught. There wasn't enough time to lock the door, so he settled for curling up in the fetal position with his hands covering his face. Matt told himself he would just let Mello have his revenge now, rather than later. Now, that didn't mean that Matt wasn't scared. On the contrary, Matt was positively terrified.
As Mello threw the door open, expecting some sort of blockade, Matt let out a shriek so very unlike him. Mello stopped dead in his tracks. 'Matt, geeky Matt, had made that, that feminine squeal? No way.' Mello thought he had imagined it. But no, Matt was there quivering in a ball, waiting for Mello to seek his revenge.
Mello, on the other hand, was caught between trying not to laugh and wishing he had a video camera to record the strange squeak. All the anger previously harbored for the red-head vanished. 'And he calls me girly!' Mello thought. It was that thought that made Mello snap. The borderline-bipolar blonde burst out in loud, uncontrollable laughs. It was too much! Never would he let Matt live this down. The perfect revenge!
Matt heard his friend's guffaws, and peeked out from behind his fingers. Mello wasn't going to kill him? Apparently not. The vivacious blonde was rolling around the floor in laughter, on the verge of tears.
"Oh Matt! You, you sounded like a girl!" Mello managed to breathe out between laughs.
"I did not!" was Matt's ingenious reply.
As Mello continued to laugh, Matt began to sulk. It wasn't his fault! Mello just startled him, or so he told himself. After Mello saw Matt nursing his bruised ego, he decided it was time to control his outburst.
"Okay Matt, here's the deal. I won't get you back if you never make that horrid noise again. I don't think I'd ever be able to stop laughing!" The blonde teased.
Matt sent a quick glare towards Mello before nodding once. He was just glad he escaped the whole fiasco without any injuries. But of course, Mello had to ruin his relief.
"Although, if you ever try something like that again, I'll get you in your sleep. That way, you can't run away." Mello smiled in mock-innocence.