*Kingdom Hearts and related characters belongs to Square Enix and Disney, not me, etc. Please rate and review!*

"AH!" The blond girl slammed into the wall. Woozy, and pinned under the dead weight of the one who had tried to protect her, she watched as the two men, one blinded, one limping, fought. I wish it hadn't come to this, she thought. By the wall on the opposite side of the room lay the still body of her other protector. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

As the blinded red-head retreated, she saw her dreadful handiwork spiral away after him, fluttering like lost butterflies. His limping opponent smiled and fell to his knees. "You'll never defeat me." Then he passed out.

On the other side of the room, her protector's eyes flickered open a last time. She met his gaze with difficulty.

"I will wake you up. I'll fix this. I'll make it all alright. I promise."

"I trust you," he said, smiling gently, and his eyes closed in an unnatural sleep again.
Her eyelids fluttered, unable to stay open. As she lost consciousness, only one thought remained in her mind:

IT'S ALL MY FAULT. . .

-Part 1: Kairi's Loss

"And so, I told Tidus that I would love to come see his game- Hey, Kairi, are you listening to me? Destiny Islands to Kairi..." Selphie waved a hand in front of her friend's face and Kairi started.

"Sorry. What was that last part again?"

Selphie sighed. "I said, I told Tidus we were coming to his blitzball game. Seriously, Kairi, what is with you recently? You're never listening."

"It's nothing," Kairi hedged.

Selphie's eyes widened. "Oh...! That's a boy 'nothing'! Who is it? Wakka? Ooo, Kairi has a crush!"

Kairi blushed and brushed her bangs back from her face. "No, it's not Wakka. Really, Selphie, is that the best you can come up with?"

"Kairi, are you still thinking about Riku?" Selphie put her hands on her hips. "He's been gone for five years; face it, girl, he's not comin' back."

"It's not like that. Three years ago today is the last day I saw Riku. And him," Kairi added, frowning slightly at the not-quite memory.

Sometimes, she had dreams of another boy, one with brown hair and a cheerful smile. That was a dream, nothing real, but the empty hole Kairi felt when she thought about him was pretty real...

Kairi grabbed at her head as pain shot through her thoughts.

"Kairi?" It was the voice of a young man.

How do you know my name? Kairi asked.

You can't remember me, but you saved my life. I... I loved you, Kairi. My Princess. If you need proof, go to our Secret Place. I left something there. You'll recognize it.

Kairi, I'm waiting.

Please don't leave me alone.

Kairi...

I'm scared.

Something was horribly wrong. Why was he scared? He was the happiest, most resolute, most stubborn person she knew.

Wait, she knew him?

"Kairi? Kairi! Kairi! Wake up!"

Kairi felt someone shaking her shoulder and opened eyes that she hadn't realized were closed to see Selphie standing over her.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Selphie scolded.

Kairi sat up (why was she lying on the ground?) and rubbed her head. "Ugh, what happened?"

Selphie shook her head and reached down to help Kairi up. "You just fainted and fell over! I was just about to call for help. What happened?"

"I'm... not sure." Kairi wasn't about to tell her friend about the man's voice she had heard. Oh, sure, Selphie would say she believed her, just a like a good friend, but she wouldn't really. She would just try to talk Kairi out of going to the Secret Place.

"Well, just don't go doing it again. Next time, I really will call for help." Selphie smiled to show she wasn't really angry anymore.

Kairi smiled back. "Don't worry, I won't. Now, what were you saying about Tidus and blitzball...?"

Selphie launched into a complicated explanation of how exactly she had found Tidus and a complete recounting of her conversation with him.

"Thank you, that was a great dinner." Kairi stood and pushed her chair back. She gathered her plate and carried it over to the sink, rinsed it off, and dried it.

"Kairi dear, are you feeling okay? You barely said a word throughout dinner." Her foster mother looked up at Kairi as she walked by.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just some... old memories," Kairi said.

Her foster father, the mayor, harrumphed. "It's not good to dwell on the past, Kairi. You need to move on with your life. Forget about-"

"Why does everyone say 'forget about Riku'? What if I don't want to forget?!" Kairi cried. "What if I don't want to let him go and just 'move on'? What if- What if he's out there, waiting- waiting for someone to remember him and come and find him?!"

Kairi stopped short, seeing her foster parents staring at her. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

She walked to the stairs, then she stopped and turned. "Hey, do you mind if I go over to the kid's island before bed? There's something I need to see. Then, I promise, I'll move on. Okay?"

Her father nodded slowly. "I suppose that would be fine. Just until dusk though. I don't want you out after dark."

Her mother agreed. "And don't forget your phone, in case you get into trouble."

Kairi sighed. "I'll be fine, okay? Stop worrying. I'm almost eighteen; I can take care of myself." And I've taken martial arts for almost three years now, she added mentally.

"I know dear, I just... don't want to lose you." Her mother touched Kairi's face gently.
Her father placed a hand on Kairi's shoulder. "You promise after you find this thing you're looking for, you'll forget about all this Riku business and move on?"

Kairi nodded. "Yeah."

"Then go. Find whatever it is, and come back."

Kairi nodded again and stepped out the door with a strange sense of regret.

It took her only a few minutes to walk down to the dock and find her old boat. It was in surprisingly good repair, considering she hadn't used it for years. Rowing the short distance, she only had to stop and bail out water once, and that was only because of a particularly large wave that threatened to swamp the little boat.

She had gone to the island every day for the first few months after he disappeared, but after a while, she had almost convinced herself to forget. After the first month or so, the memories had started to fade, and now she could barely remember anything besides Riku. Today had changed everything. If he was still alive, perhaps Riku was too. Maybe she could find them and bring them back.

Standing on the beach, Kairi looked up at the sky. It was getting red; she had better hurry. It felt strange to be here again, all by herself. She clambered up over the edge of the boardwalk and paused. Which way was it again? No, she knew the way.

Walking past the waterfall, she felt the cool spray on her face. It felt good on her warm cheeks and hair. She stopped at the entrance to the Secret Place, a memory washing over her.

"Ah! Nononono! You can't come in!" A little boy with brown hair and a child's serious expression held his arms out over something he was drawing on the wall.

"What 're- Oh, hi Kairi." Another little boy, this one with silver hair, leapt down from a rock, wooden sword in hand.

"Riku! No constortin' with the enemy!" the brown haired boy pouted.

"Whatever."

She giggled. "I can go if you want. I just wanted to see what you were doin'."

"No! You can stay!" The brown haired boy changed his mind hastily and enthusiastically.

Riku rolled his eyes.

Kairi smiled and ducked into the Secret Place. The ceiling was lower and the cave smaller than she remembered, but she told herself she had just grown taller.

"This is our special spot. Only me 'n Riku draw here." He studied her. "I guess you can too, since you're our friend. But promise not to tell anyone else, okay?"

She nodded. "I promise."

Kairi wasn't sure what she was looking for. She hadn't been in the actual cave since the night after Riku vanished.

Strangely enough, though she had been there, she had no memory of the event or days just after. Her foster parents told her Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie had found her on the beach, just standing there, watching the sky. Everyone assumed she must have hit her head during the storm or had simply not known where Riku had gone.

What am I looking for? The voice had said she would recognize it when she saw it.

Kairi turned a corner and was confronted by a large wooden door, its centre decorated by a large keyhole. Is this it? No. She turned around, thinking whatever it was might be by the entrance, and found it.

On the wall near her waist, was a simple child's drawing of boy and a girl sharing a paopu fruit. Kairi touched it and a flood of memories came back to her.

Him laughing.

His smile.

Watching him slack off.

Coming up behind him and watching him carve his side out of the hard stone, just before the storm.

Seeing him sacrifice himself, and being told that he had done it for her.

Saying goodbye.

Giving him her good luck charm.

Waiting on the beach, sure he would come back.

Carving her picture next to his.

Kairi opened her eyes to find herself kneeling on the floor, one hand raised to the image on the wall. A page, looking like it had been torn out of a sketchbook, fluttered down and landed in her lap. The page depicted a boy with spiky brown hair standing on the beach, with a red-haired girl and silver-haired boy standing next to him.

Kairi gently folded the paper up, smiling at the child's sweet image.

She stood, softly touching the wall again, and walked to the entrance. Good, it was still light out.

She could stay a little longer. Kairi sat down next to the waterfall, looking out over the sea.

She didn't even notice when she drifted off to sleep and the paper slipped out of her hand.

A single shooting star fell across the sky, but Kairi didn't see it.