Hey guys! I was listening to Hawthorne Heights (LOL RANDOMSAUCE) and I had the idea for this fic. I bet it's been used before, but I haven't read any like it, and the plot bunny attacked me and tried holding me at gunpoint, so I had to. Sorry. XD So basically, this is what I WANTED to happen after Shinji's death (OMGSPOILER!!!) but nooo. Akihiko immediately cheers up. SO I guess I'm kind of going to make him OOC and a depressed little boy, but I wanted some angst, so sue me. WARNING! There may be future self injury (but not really the normal way), angst, and other bad stuff. If you still want to read, please review or something, cuz I love reviews and they make me write better and faster :P
Summary: After Shinji's death, Akihiko finds himself in a seemingly never ending downward spiral of depression and self hatred. Will Shinji's memory and other friendships help him to move on, or will Gekkoukan's Golden Boy rust?
Chapter I: When Angels Fly Away
I can see the sky light up and the ground explode
Got my sights locked in I can see you breathe
Then I watched you fall and somebody scream
It's the saddest thing when angels fly away
I can't be home tonight, I'll make it back its all right
No one could ever love me half as good as you
The hard concrete beneath him clawed and tore at his bare feet. His legs ached from running so much, but he moved on, ignoring the pain eating at his every joint and muscle. He had to move, faster, faster. But why?
"Sh-"
A name. What was it? What was the name? Who was he running to?
"Shi-"
A gunshot. He was too late. He was always too late, no matter how fast he ran. And then that name came to his lips, the taste so bittersweet, as he watched the body of his comrade- his best friend- falling to the ground once more, the sharp tang of spilled blood on the air.
"SHINJI!" "Senpai, are you alright?"
Akihiko jolted awake. Minato was standing at his door, yellow light from the hall pouring in with him. The boy had a concerned look on his usually stoic face. Damn it. Akihiko hated being pitied, being made to feel weak. He sat up, running a hand through his hair. He could feel the sweat on the back of his neck sliding down a few more centimeters.
"I'm fine. Just a dream. I'm gonna go take a shower; you should go back to bed. You're our leader, you need your rest." Oh yeah, the tough guy act. As if Minato believed it. But he didn't question, trusting his senpai like any good underclassman would.
"Okay, but remember, you can always come talk to me if you want... I know Shinji's death affected us all. You most of all, Akihiko-senpai. He was your-"
"I told you, I'm fine, alright? It was just one dream."
"No, I've heard you having nightmares just like that one every night this past week… I'll go now, but… just please remember we're all here for you." Minato consoled him, but it wasn't comforting at all, especially now that Akihiko knew they were all completely aware of his utter weakness and were probably watching him like he was some kind of dangerous animal at the zoo.
"I'll keep that in mind. 'Night." The door closed with a click as Minato left, face relaxing slightly.
Suddenly much more exhausted, Akihiko leaned against his pillow once again, deciding to shower in the morning instead. He felt as if he hadn't slept at all, though, glancing at the clock, he had obviously slept a few hours. It was 4:10 am.
He pulled the sheets back to his neck, settling back in to a peacefully dreamless sleep, for once.